what if she was butch?

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

BREAKING: Increased "Pjackk" sightings across Tumblr are being reported as many users claim to have seen a "disgusting metal object" interact with posts as recently as three hours ago, yet witnesses report that the blog in question remains inactive. Are these real sightings of the famed "Prototype Jack," or is this just an elaborate Tumblr hoax? We will report as more information becomes available.

had a beautiful moment of connection. my 14 month old neice was pointing at my beverage and looking like she expected something, so I said “yes baby, this is mugs zero sugar root beer. very good, baby.” but she just jabbed her finger more insistently, and went ‘woof wooof woof’. and this is when I looked closer and saw the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. I almost teared up. I said, “yes baby, that’s the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. woof woof woof. I love you small baby.”