☯ cosmic waves ☯

👭STANDING

Just had a child say “circumcise me, captain!” And his mom smacked him in the back of the head and said “I’m so sorry I don’t know where he heard that I don’t even know if he knows what that means” and I’m thinking about how kids are just walking shitpost generators

KATE MCKINNON IN FLANNEL BLAZER SINGING AND DANCING TO MARIAH CARRY IM GAY

I’m so concerned that this post implies Bella and Edward will attend high school again with their own daughter

youre goddamn right thats what im implying

Wig…

Did you know there’s an outtake from the 2000 Grinch movie where Jim Carrey leans in real close to Jeffrey Tambor’s face and then rips off Tambor’s prosthetic nose with his teeth

God I want him to do this to my clit

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.

Omg