think of Irving, sustained by his faith as Hodgson never could be. Hickey's murder of Irving is among the few times Irving stares into his eyes, returns his gaze, recognises him (to Hickey's satisfaction), but also, maybe, sees past him. Irving dies looking at the sky. he still has his God; Hickey's knife cannot unstick his soul as the Tuunbaq could. murdered by his fellow man, Irving may still reach salvation.

because Irving had a god, he mined his sense of self from an incorruptible lode. saints incite violence against themselves because, regardless of the attacks to their mortal frames, a part of them endures that only gods can touch. by contrast, Hodgson is all mortal and so all touchable. he struggles under the guilt of rejecting the Church ('a perfect moment in a whole imperfect life') and attempts to fill his spiritual absence with material validation. Hodgson relocates his belief to the men around him and so inevitably disappoints and is disappointed because we are imperfect creatures. he tries to be a chum to the crew ('I'm more afeared of the cold, boys') but will volunteer to write the record of their executions in pursuit of redemption from Crozier.

intriguingly, when Hickey reads to the mutineers in that deleted scene, he is imitating book!Crozier, who replaces Sir John's Bible passages with Hobbes' Leviathan after he takes command of the expedition. Dan Simmons' text repeatedly quotes Hobbesian philosophy ('"Life is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short," the captain had intoned'), although his Hickey never picks up the book like in the show script. nonetheless, Simmons' Crozier loosens the glue bonding the men when he topples Sir John's faith at the head of the ships. with no higher substitute to set their sights on, the men look among themselves. their dirt and filth is just dirt and filth. nothing will transform. they are hungry. they want to live.

Hodgson delivers his monologue at his lowest point, after he rejects the Catholic Eucharist ('the blood and body of Christ') for its low parody (the blood and body of Billy Gibson). 'every poor or weak or selfish thing' he has suspected about himself since the age of seven is confirmed when Hodgson consumes Billy. he kills whatever was holy or 'perfect' inside of him, wipes out God's image, and is left with the idol he made of mortality in life. it may sustain him for a few days in this world but damns him in the next. '"Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are."'

i suspect Hodgson approaches Goodsir for his monologue because he recognises in him another fallen man. dismembering Billy unseats Goodsir's faith in medicine to heal ('If ever I was a doctor, I am one no longer'), though he will soon depend on its power to destroy. i think it is possible that Hodgson would like to comfort Goodsir in this scene, except what comfort, what compassion, is left to them? all Hodgson can offer is his confession. he humbles himself in front of the one person remaining (at this point) whom he respects. as another man, Goodsir cannot absolve Hodgson for eating Billy, nor can Hodgson absolve Goodsir for dissecting him. they go their separate ways. Crozier comes the closest later ('I forgive him') but even his grace keeps its mortal limits ('I forgive all of them but you').

however, Hodgson may be more Catholic than he thinks! his monologue identifies the sublime wonder of Mass ('The singing sounded delivered by angels themselves'; 'I felt clean') but self-excludes from it ('The next week, when it came time to dress, I pretended to be ill'). Hodgson thinks his impurity and the beauty of transubstantiation are incompatible. by choosing Goodsir as his confessor, though, he stumbles into, however unwittingly, a more important epiphany: the priest is a sinner too. every Eucharist is a parody of itself up until the moment the wine becomes blood, the miracle, as man is a burlesque of God's image until he dies. Hickey's Leviathan reading recalls a captain's sermon, yes, but also Crozier's eulogy for Sir John. the scene is comprehensible as a funeral: Billy's funeral service. just because it is a parody does not mean it isn't powerful. such is the definition of a ritual: the thing you keep doing until it works. a parody without transformation becomes a tragedy.

the saint expects the violence against them. knowingly or unknowingly, they run towards it.

Little is framed between the rungs of the ladder, doubling in this context as a gesture towards the ‘chain of command’ he will refuse to abandon even at his death. the lamp at the top of the ladder in the first shot confirms our earlier theory: the world above is light, below is dark and doomed. what differentiates this shot from others in the show are the objects. usually when the ladder is occupied, it is by another person, such as Irving, constantly hurrying up or down, or Magnus, reluctant to descend to the dead room:

here, however, the men’s ‘offerings’ to Silna block the way. they are placed on the middle rung of the ladder, neither above nor below, their fates (literally) hanging in the balance. if sir john had imagined a Christian 'world of spirits', then these offerings acknowledge, however crudely, an alternative belief system. the everyday objects of the victorian sailor— 'a match case, soap, a comb, tobacco'— acquire a significance beyond the confines of their prescribed functions. their superstition signals the men's declining faith in the ships’ authorities to save them, and this is why Fitzjames orders the removal of the offerings each morning and promises 'punishment for leaving them.’

desperately, the men's personal effects have been recycled into bridges to salvation, to rescue. it matters that Little is the one to engage with these offerings because he will stay with these same men until their deaths, while simultaneously gripping onto the old ladder long after they have abandoned it and the upper world has closed to them forever. when Francis finds him at Starvation Cove, still dressed in his officer's uniform, it must feel to Little as though the Lord has descended His ladder to cradle Jacob.

‘the Lord stood beside him, and said: […] behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee whithersoever thou goest, and will bring thee back into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.' And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said: 'Surely the Lord is in this place; and I knew it not.' (Genesis 28:13-17)

back on Erebus, confronted with the offerings, reaching for one, ‘Little looks at them all, a bit unnerved.' he has orders to remove Silna to Terror. Goodsir climbs the ladder offscreen, a flurry of eager footfalls. Little remains below. he and Silna watch each other, the men's offerings, a kaleidoscope of hopes, a dozen dreams by a dozen Jacobs, suspended between them. do they connect their worlds? block their vision? whatever they can mean, they won't be enough.