You had me at hallo

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

I’m the grandma

im maddie

i think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me

friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it’s the stress

……his own fam 

I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up. 

all power to vegans and vegetarians but i will eat anything with a face

sext: hey i’m genuinely wondering how youre doing

Need me a freak like this

I don’t even watch it and I know that he’s the best part.