Because The Lizard Baby

I’m finished with P.G. Wodehouse and I’m ready for R Rated Wodehouse now

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

OP there is an entire Broadway musical explaining why you don’t want that

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought