✧｡☽ hoodwinked

BROOKE: how do you feel about salt water taffy?

BROOKE: i'm in ocean city, nj and it's supposed to be the best

BROOKE: want me to pick you up a bag?

BEAN: salt water taffy?

BEAN: never tried it but it sounds like food and i'll never say no to trying food

oliver: i'd steal one to burn it but i sure as hell wouldn't add to his sales.

oliver: it's close enough to what you mean

oliver: i love it when you get pissed off cause you kinda have to say something nice. it's funny.

bean: mm, true. the fucker doesn't exactly need any more money.

bean: literally not even close but sure, whatever.

kalbi: i'm 100% positive, b. no need to thank me.

kalbi: no, you could totally do it! a lil 50cm class? you'd be absolutely fine. i'd like that, though, sure. there's videos online if you wanna see some.

kalbi: exactly! do try and be careful though. i worry about you.

bean: well, i'm gonna thank you anyway

bean: i guess it depends whether my teacher can cope with teaching me to jump. but i'd definitely like to come watch you. support from the crowd or whatever

kalbi: i'm 100% sure! so it looks like you're not gonna argue. really. if i minded then i'd just say.

kalbi: hey, they do competitions to every level! learn to show jump and come with me the next time i have to go awol for a while.

kalbi: realism is giving the cast genuine bruises instead of makeup.

bean: okay, okay, if you're positive! thanks kal, you're the best.

bean: oh, c'mon. me, showjumping? are you completely out of your mind? that's a terrible idea. but uh... i'll come watch you? if you don't mind, that is.

oliver: nah idek anyone who would pay for that. could be like. one dollar and it'd be a dollar waster

oliver: shut up. i know how to moderate my booze. like... order single vodkas instead of doubles.

oliver: forced or not, still sober

oliver: you know i missed you most. brooks may do my face but you keep the smile on it, you asshole.

bean: i guess i'd pay a couple of dollars for it but that'd just be to use it to burn on a bbq

bean: that's not what i mean and you know it, idiot

kalbi: insert the x files theme music here.

kalbi: i don't mind at all! really. like i said, i owe you one.

kalbi: trust me, it comes in handy. at my competition, something spooked apollo and i lost both stirrups. working on it at home literally saved my ass.

bean: you really don't owe me, but if you're sure then i'm not gonna argue!

bean: i see your point but uh, i have no intentions of entering competitions anytime soon.

oliver: that his ghostwriters did for him

oliver: fuck off, moderation totally IS in my vocabulary. i just.. i dunno, i like drinking a lot

oliver: i just spent like a week or two sober.

oliver: the break was good though, i guessed. i missed you and brooks and parker and noelle.

bean: not even worth the paper it's printed on

bean: if moderation is in your vocabulary then it's got nothing to do with drinking

bean: a week or two sober because the studio forced you to

kalbi: you were? wow! then this is a totally happy coincidence for all involved.

kalbi: ooorrr we could meet in the middle and meet at mcdonalds?

kalbi: i'll pay anyway. i definitely owe you a reward after the no stirrups work the week before i went away.

bean: i literally had your number up on my screen right as you texted. it's like you read my mind

bean: are you sure? you don't have to pay, i really don't mind.

oliver: he's ridiculous, honestly. tiny handed, toupee wearing, uneducated cheeto man.

oliver: they're not habits. just... old interests. is drinking a hobby? besides, if i were asking to be fired, i'd just hand in my notice.

bean: the title of his biography, i love it.

bean: drinking is not a hobby, oliver. if it was, it'd be my hobby

bean: drinking in moderation is fine. the issue is that 'moderation' isn't a word that's in your vocabulary

kalbi: hi! so, you left your purse at the stables when you brought godiva back over.

kalbi: do you want me to hold onto it...or?

bean: kal, just the person i wanted to speak to! i was literally just about to call you!

bean: you think i could come over for it? i'm honestly dying for a mcdonalds and all the cash i have is in my purse

bean: asking me to knock ridiculous feelings out of you is like asking donald trump to be a useful president.

bean: you've got more chance of plaiting piss

bean: but as long as i can bring beer too, you're on. you know i fucking hate wine

oliver: ok, that's a good one. he thought pore was spelled pour in a pore context and i haven't stopped laughing since.

oliver: you really do need to knock it out of me.

oliver: more wine for meeeeeee. honestly, no booze for however the hell long i was gone killed me off and i'm ready to play ring of fire and get sloshed.

bean: ah yes. lemme just open up my pours. fuck my life he never ceases to amaze

oliver: for one, i'm having ridiculous feelings and you have to KNOCK them out of me

oliver: for two, i need wine and lots of it so get your ass here with a bottle of red and white.

oliver: move your butt, hood.

bean: asking me to knock ridiculous feelings out of you is like asking donald trump to be a useful president.

bean: you've got more chance of plaiting piss

a small smirk formed on casey’s face at bean’s comment, flipping to the next page in his script. “why pretend that music soothes the savage bean when it’s actually food?” he mused, glancing over at her. “so whose obituary am i gonna be reading in tomorrow’s paper? my money’s on that king guy again; you’ve killed him about six times now, right?”

“well, shit. which fucker let the cat out of the bag? see, i was watching hannibal one time, and i was like hey, maybe he’s onto something here. i went out, bought some of those fresh-frozen toes that you see in literally every store, made a nice, meaty casserole. pretty good, if you ask me.”

“I need to get you to fix my hair on a nearly daily basis.” Reagan looked away from her reflection for a few seconds to look at the actress, resisting the urge to touch her own head again, now that everything looked as it ought to. At least, for the caliber of the current party. It made sense, of course, what with @bean-hood‘s own polished look. When one just wasn’t meant to go unnoticed, why not go through the actual effort of giving others something to appreciate? The actress had it tougher, in a sense, what with her grabbing attention this and that way by merit of her own popularity and her public persona as well as her looks. “Love that shade on you, by the way. Did you blend it yourself?” Her gaze was curious, yet appreciative, of the brunette’s complete appearance. And it did take some effort to impress her, she’d like to believe. Even if Bean was someone she’d consider a friend.

“i barely even have the mental capacity or patience to do my own hair, let alone to do yours as well,” came bean’s response, the briton not even bothering to shift her gaze from her reflection. she was relatively satisfied with her look the majority of the time but that was only because she’d figured out years ago what she liked and how to achieve it. doing someone else’s hair or makeup was a totally different ball game and one that bean, honestly, didn’t want to participate in. “hm? oh, yeah. i did, thanks.” finally, she turned to look over at reagan, offering a light smile at the compliments. she supposed she could do a far worse with her own makeup. “you look great too, you know,” she observed, glancing over the other briefly. compliments were heard from bean far less frequently than insults, and so when she did offer them the recipient could at least be sure that it was genuine.

penn smirked, his eyes lighting up mischievously; one of his favorite past times was getting under bean’s skin. “i think we both know i’m the farthest thing from a boy scout, beano.” he took a few steps closer, arms crossing over his chest. “they added an extra wing just for me; can’t deny the public all of this,” he said, gesturing to himself.