wussup

Here goes it,

maybe people leave me because after tasting my lips the poison transfers. maybe all the happiness i gain is replaced by sadness for them. maybe “i have to love myself first.” isn’t a cliche. maybe i carry the sadness of every past lover on the tip of my tongue.

i’m tired. tired of pouring myself into everyone i meet only to be left behind. tired of thinking everyone is different from the last just to get my heart shattered again. i want something that lasts, just for fucking once can something last?

I saw you and you were just driving by me, but we made eye contact and everything came rushing back. like the months i’d spent getting over you, telling everyone you didn’t matter, convincing myself not to care, we’re just gone. the second your eyes met mine it all fell apart. i couldn’t stop crying because i forgot what it felt like to look at your face and have you look back at mine, to hear your laugh and see your smile and that’s when i realized. i was never really over you. because i still can’t look you in the eyes and tell you that. i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to.

I can’t keep begging for your attention it’s breaking my heart.

I trusted you and maybe that was my first mistake. I loved you and maybe that was my second. I made excuses for you in my mind and that was my third. I screamed at you at 2am in the rain and that was my worst. We fought for an hour and everything was sour until i forgave you. And i have forgiven you for your worst mistakes, and you’ve forgiven me, but what kind of fucked up love story are we living?