Beacons

“You rang?”

You groaned as the voice pierced the air. You risked looking up from your blanket shelter and made out a bleary shape with purple hair. “Raf?” your voice was raspy in your throat.

“In the flesh,” he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Feeling better?”

“I don’t know…wait,” you looked around the room confused. “Where am I?”

“You are at my aunt’s house. Do you remember anything about last night?”

“Last night? I--” your stomach gave a lurch and you slapped a hand to your mouth. Rafayel was quicker than you and grabbed a garbage can. It was just a dry heave but it still didn’t feel good. “Kill me.”

“How about some water instead?” He handed you a cup of water from off the nightstand. “I also have hangover medicine.”

“Thanks.” You sipped at the water to wet your mouth and throat then chugged the hangover medicine like it was the elixir of life. “How did I end up here?”

“Well,” Rafayel said, scooting closer, “I came across you last night while I was out for a walk, you were getting drunk surrounded by luggage since you apparently got evicted from your apartment. And being the selfless amazing friend that I am I singlehandedly brought you and all your stuff back to my aunt’s house to sleep it off.”

“Oh no.” You buried your head in your hands. You had meant to catch the train back to your father’s house last night. What was supposed to be a couple drinks to soften the ache of leaving Linkon turned into getting drunk as the hours slipped by. “It’s starting to come back. I do remember talking to you last night, I think I said a lot of stuff about fries?”

“Yep. I then gave you a ride on my back to the cab.”

“Shit.” You laid back against the mattress. “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“Do you remember anything else?” he asked.

You shook your head and hid back under the blanket. “No. And at this point I feel humiliated enough that I don’t want to.”

“So you don’t remember the cab ride or anything after I got you to the house?”

You didn’t remember a cab ride but you did vaguely recall getting to the house. You were laying in bed much like you were now and--

Love you

Oh no. Oh damn it all to hell!

You remembered ranting to him about his relationship with Merri and drunkenly confessing to being in love with him. Or did you? Did the words actually leave your mouth or did you just think them? Maybe you said them after he had left. You could definitely remember thinking the words. You tried to press for more details, willed your brain to remember anything more so you could know exactly how terribly you embarrassed yourself last night but nothing was coming to mind.

All you could remember was that you may or may not have said that you loved him. Hopefully if you did say it he would just think you meant in a friendly way and that you weren’t actually harboring deeper feelings for him. Yes. It was fine. Nothing to worry about.

“Nope. Nothing,” you answered. “Did I say something? Or perhaps do something weird?” You bolted up straight. “Please say I didn’t puke on you!”

Rafayel took in a deep breath and shook his head. “Uh no, no puke. Nothing weird either…you um, you just really wanted some fries from what I recall.”

Thank goodness for that.

“I’m so sorry for making you take care of me. I promise I’ll be out of your hair soon.” You looked in the corner and saw the crate with your cats in it. They were awake now and meowing for food and freedom. “Can I trouble you for something to feed them? I didn’t bring any kibble for them when I was packing my things.”

“I’ll bring something over.” Rafayel stood up. “And there’s need for you to rush and leave.”

“I’m already behind, I was planning on catching the train yesterday. I need to rush.” You flung the blanket back but moving quickly made you woozy.

“What train?” he asked.

“A train home, back to my family’s house in the country.” you sighed. “I can’t afford to stay in the city so I was going to go home.”

“Leave Linkon? But surely you can find another place to live or something. You don’t need to leave the city.”

“I’d love to stay in the city but I was already struggling to pay rent at my last apartment and that was already one of the cheapest ones I could find. Anything even slightly more expensive will be impossible unless I never want free time again.” You looked around for your phone to see when the next train was leaving.

“Stay here.” Rafayel plucked the phone out of your hands.

“Raf, I just said--”

“No, stay with me--I mean, stay here with me and my aunt. We have this spare bedroom, we won’t charge you rent, you can stay here. At least until you get back on your feet.”

This morning was already not going how you wanted it and now the man you had a crush on was telling you to stay in his house where you would see him every day. There’d be no way to avoid it. Not him. Not your feelings.

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You don’t need to, I’m offering. I already told my aunt about you getting evicted and she said it was okay if you stay as long as you need.” Rafayel grew quiet. “Unless there’s maybe another reason you don’t want to stay here.”

You couldn’t tell him it was because you had feelings for him and the idea of being around him while he was happily in a relationship with Merri was tearing you apart from the inside out. “I…I don’t want to be a burden,” you said instead.

“You won’t be.”

Damn it. Everything inside you was telling you to run. Everything about this was a bad idea but that stupid part of your heart wanted to stay. Now your brain was justifying it however it could. If you stayed here you could find a better job and get better pay and move into a nicer apartment. You wouldn’t have to worry your father and brothers by moving back home. Really, it was the best offer you could get and you’d probably be better off if you just accepted. It was all so logical.

Still your mind kept debating what to do.

It’s a good idea. It’s a terrible idea! You can be an adult about this. You’re too immature to handle this! You don’t have to leave. You can’t stay!

“Okay,” the word fell out of your mouth. “But I’ll earn my keep. I can clean and stuff, I won’t just freeload off of your aunt’s generosity. I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience to the both of you like this.”

Rafayel’s face brightened and he handed you back your phone. “I’m glad you’re staying, and you really need to learn to accept help when it is offered. Take it easy, I’ll be back for something to feed your little beasts.”

After he left the room you opened the crate to let your cats out to roam. “Sorry babies, I know it’s not fun being cooped up all day.”

You downed the rest of the water Rafayel had brought you and fished around in your luggage for a new set of clothes. There wasn’t an adjoining bathroom so you had to leave and find one to clean up in. You had been here enough before when you were modeling for Rafayel that finding the bathroom was easy enough. You were planning on just brushing your teeth but after an entire day being out in the hot sun toting all your belongings and getting drunk you decided a shower would suit you better.

It was amazing how much of a difference decent plumbing made. The water stayed hot, the pressure was strong and consistent, there was actually room to move around and you weren’t cramped into a short square. You decided when you were apartment hunting one of the musts you were going to look for was a good bathroom.

The shower did help to make you feel like more of a person and the hangover was starting to ebb which was great. After a change of clothes and a quick clean up of the cats’ litter and you were ready to confront the rest of the day…living at Rafayel’s house.

“Why did I agree to this?” you muttered to yourself as you left to find some food.

You were hoping maybe scalp some crackers or just something to get in your stomach but found Rafayel already in the kitchen cooking something. “There you are,” he said. “I’m still making lunch but you can sit and wait if you want a plate.”

“Oh okay,” you sat down at the table. The last time you had seen Rafayel cook was when he came by your apartment for the first time. Standing in a nice kitchen such as this with an apron tied around his waist you could have mistaken him for a personal chef. He moved with such fluidity, like every chop of a knife and shake of a pan was part of some intricate dance.

“So, where is your aunt?” you asked. You had never met her in all the times you’ve visited before and had to wonder if she actually did live here or not.

“She’s at a rehearsal. She’ll be back in the evening.” He continued chopping.

“I see. Any plans for the day?” You were getting more and more anxious about being in this house alone with him. You needed someone else to cut the awkwardness you were feeling.

“Not a one.” Rafayel shrugged. “You gonna do anything today?”

“Well, the shift I normally work has been taken over by nepotism, so no.” You still needed to formally quit. It was a shame because you did like that cafe but without proper hours you’d never be able to get a new apartment. “I’ll probably spend the day job hunting online for something that pays better.”

“Or, here’s a wild thought,” Rafayel said, “You could take a day off and not worry about jobs or money or anything else for that matter. You look like you need a day to yourself.”

“Are you saying I look tired?”

“Yes, but also Thomas told me about how you get into funks where you don’t talk to people and only work and I think you could use a recovery day so you don’t fall back into that rut.” Rafayel gestured for you to come closer, holding out a spoon full of sauce to you. “Give this a taste and tell me what you think.”

You took taste and had to stop yourself from moaning. “Damn that was good!”

“Glad to hear it.” he smiled and went back to stirring.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. How does a god know how to cook so well?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “You know I wasn’t always a god. I have always been in line for consideration but before the elders chose me I was living as any other normal Lemurian. I learned basic life skills and I rather liked cooking so I spent a lot of time in the kitchen learning from the best. Can’t you cook?”

“Only the basics, anything fancier than that and I end up just making a mess.”

“That would explain why your tastes seem to start and end with cup noodles.” He rolled his eyes. “Come over here.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, please”

“Okay,” you stood up and stood next to him. “Why do you want me here?”

“Cooking lesson.” He pushed the cutting board over to you. “Finish chopping these scallions for me.”

“Oh no, please don’t feel like you have to teach me.” You tried sliding the board back over to him.

“You said you wanted to earn your keep, right? This is how it is happening. Now get chopping.” He pushed it back to you. “You do know how to chop a vegetable, do you?”

Your pride flared with indignation. “I’m not a complete idiot, I can chop something just as well as the next guy.”

“Good, then get to it.” he nudged you with his elbow and watched as you took up the knife and started cutting up the scallions.

You could chop veggies just fine but it was nowhere near as smooth or as fast as Rafayel had been doing it. How did people do this so fast without accidentally cutting off a finger?

“Can I give you a pointer?” Rafayel asked, slipping the knife from your hand. “When chopping you don’t want to act like a cleaver just banging away slowly at it. You want to kind of rock the blade like this where the blade never lifts completely off the cutting board. And keep your fingers safe by curling the fingers back to secure whatever you’re chopping.”

“Okay…” you took his advice and started chopping again. “I don’t really get this motion.”

“Like this,” he placed his hand over yours to demonstrate the move and were encased in that scent of ozone, amber, and orange blossom that he always smelled like. You were barely paying attention to what he was showing you, too aware of the feeling of his hand cupping yours.

“That feel better?” he asked.

“Y-Yeah, I think I got it.” You forced your eyes to stay down on the cutting board.

“See, not so hard as it looks. And who know, maybe one day you’ll get as good as me.”

And the butterflies fluttering up a storm in your stomach all went still. “Oh how very humble you are, mister fish face.”

“Hey, that is lord fish face to you.” he pointed the spoon at you.

You laughed despite yourself and continued on cooking, with Rafayel showing you some simple tricks and giving you a few pointers. It was an informative lesson but half of what he said went in one ear and out the other since he was so close the entire time.

You thought being around him would have been harder but you were surprised by how quickly you fell back into the familiar repartee. Putting aside your growing feelings you had to admit you missed spending time with him. In a short amount of time he had gone from a stranger to one of your closest friends and cutting him out left a larger hole than you thought it would.

Over lunch you explained more about what had been going on the past couple of weeks leading up to you getting evicted. He listened intently, only really chiming in when you got to the part of actually being evicted by your former landlord and from there he was infuriated on your behalf. Then came the question you had been hoping to avoid.

“If you were in such dire straits why didn’t you come to me? That painting we started still isn’t finished and you would have made more than enough to pay your rent.”

Your fork scraped the empty plate before you. “Well, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“How would that be bothering me?” he pressed.

“You had just gotten into a new relationship, things are actually working out between you two and I know how important finding someone to love is for you so I didn’t want to distract you. I also know how new couples are, they get so attached cause they’re in that honeymoon phase so I figured you wouldn’t even notice that I wasn’t around as often.” You picked up your dishes and moved over to the sink so he couldn’t see the pained expression on your face.

Rafayel, never one to let something go that easily, followed you to the sink, taking whatever clean dishes you had just washed and picking up a towel to dry them. “You wouldn’t have been a distraction and I did notice,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”

Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. It was making an already hard conversation worse.

“I…I missed you too.” He had no idea just how much you had missed him and what it meant to be here with him now. There was a war inside you, one that fought to keep the distance as friends cause he was already in a relationship and one that that wanted to betray your friends by letting yourself fall into him completely. And when you looked into those beautiful sunset eyes of his you found the side that wanted him all to yourself pulling winning.

“I should um, I should go finish unpacking.” You took the first step away.

“Right,” he nodded, setting the clean plates on the counter. “You settle in, let me know if you need anything.”

You rushed back to the guest bedroom and slipped inside. Your cats had wandered out of their crate and were now making themselves well at home inside the room. “Don’t get too used to it,” you told them, “We’re not staying here long.”

Instead of putting your things away you dug out your laptop and pulled up job listings. You needed to get out of this house fast before you ended up doing something stupid.

~~~

Rafayel was fine. Really he was. He had convinced you not to move far away, you were relaxing after a very stressful couple of weeks, and you were even staying in his house where he’d get to see you everyday.

The only problem was that you didn’t remember saying you loved him last night and he couldn’t yet tell you that he was single and confess that he completely and utterly in love with you. Maybe if you had remembered he’d be able to bypass the whole grace period thing he promised Merri because you would have said it first and everything would have been fine. But no. You got too drunk and didn’t remember and now you were going to be living in his house where he’d see you everyday and everyday he’d have to keep his feelings to himself, at least until Merri left for her research trip.

It also just wasn’t a good time to be confessing anyway. You were going through a lot at the moment and it would probably be for the best if you weren’t also juggling a new relationship. That was if you actually wanted to be with him and your drunken confession wasn’t just some mistake that you didn’t actually mean.

Just a few days. In a few days Merri would be off on her trip, you’d be more settled, and he could tell you that you are everything he’s ever wanted in life. Easy peasy.

It had been a while since you retired to your room and Rafayel stopped by to see how you were settling in. He gave a gentle knock and heard you tell him to enter.

He expected to see the room more organized but when he came in your luggage was still untouched and you were bent over your laptop. “I thought you were unpacking.” He maneuvered around the large box full of your stuff.

“I will in a bit,” you muttered, eyes glazed over as you stared at the screen.

“What are you doing?” he walked around to see what you were looking at and saw you slowly scrolling through job listings. “Really? Didn’t I tell you to take today to relax?”

“I still need a job, Raf.”

“Not today you don’t.” He took the laptop and snapped it closed.

“Raf! Give it back!” you tried to grab it back from him.

“Nope. I told you to relax today and you didn’t do that so I’m confiscating this and ordering you to watch a movie with me instead.” He put the laptop on top of a tall shelf you couldn’t easily reach. “Living room, now. I will be bringing snacks.”

“But--”

“Nope. It’s been decided. Come on.” he marched over to the door and stood there until you got off the bed with a groan and followed him. You sat down in the living room while he found a number of snacks and brought them out to lay across the coffee table. He did let you pick the movie since he still wasn’t sure what movies were good or not and decided to trust your judgement.

You picked a fantasy movie about a star girl falling to earth and a man trying to escort her across a magical land, facing princes and witches and pirates, all while falling in love with said star. You were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, a single cushion of space between the two of you as you watched the harrowing and funny adventure happening on the screen.

Rafayel found himself continuously glancing over at you, watching your reactions to this movie you adored. It had been so long since he had seen you smile or heard you laugh, it was great to experience it all over again.

In the movie the protagonist had just been turned into a mouse by a witch and the star was confessing her feelings to him, unthinking that he understood what she was saying.

Rafayel glanced over once again to see what you were doing and saw that you had a pillow clutched to your chest, a warm, giddy smile plastered on your face. By the tides you were adorable. You had claimed yourself as a hopeless romantic and it was here the Rafayel knew that you had been telling the truth. You really did love love.

~“You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves. You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.”~

You turned to look at Rafayel, either seeking his reaction or wondering why he was watching you instead of the movie. Your eyes locked and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

~“So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable, and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you.”~

You weren’t looking away and neither was he. The scene kept on playing but neither of you were watching, something tenuous and unspoken hanging between the both of you. And for a moment nothing else existed.

~“I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you.”~

He swallowed, the space between you may as well have been a chasm because he wasn’t touching you. He didn’t want you across from him, he wanted you nestled in his arms where you belonged. And maybe, just maybe you wanted to be there too.

~“And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange, no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”~

“Cutie, I--”

The sound of the front door opening broke the spell and you snapped your heads to front. Rafayel had a fist pressed to his mouth, cursing in his head that he had almost spilled everything in a moment of weakness.

Talia walked inside, adjusting the purse on her shoulder when she caught sight of you and him sitting on the couch, acting like a pair of teenagers that got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. “Oh hello,” she waved.

“Hi auntie,” Rafayel paused the movie.

“Hello, miss Tan,” you stood up. “It’s a pleasure to meet you and Rafayel already told me that he told you why I’m here and I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay. I swear that I won’t do anything to burden you and will be nothing but respectful while I’m staying here. Thank you so much.”

“Oh my dear girl, think nothing of it.” Talia greeted you with a smile, clasping your hands. “It is just terrible what’s happened to you. If my nephew hadn’t invited you to stay I would have. Treat this home as your home and do let me know if there is anything I can do to help make you more comfortable.”

“You’ve done more than enough by letting me stay here. Thank you. And I just wanted to say I’m also a great fan of yours. I haven’t had the chance to attend a live show but I’ve watched many recordings.” You were practically vibrating with nervous excited energy.

“Thank you. You are just lovely.” She gave you an affectionate kiss on both your cheeks. “You look like you two were watching something so I won’t bother you. Carry on, and do not be shy in letting me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you again. I know I keep saying it but it means a lot to me.” You glanced around the room. “Actually, while we have the movie paused I’m going to go to the bathroom. Be right back.”

You scampered off and Talia turned to Rafayel. When he heard the click of the bathroom door Talia stepped closer with a pitying look. “So, this is the one you really like. She’s adorable, you have good taste.”

“Auntie!” Rafayel groaned, covering his face with his hands.

She chuckled, patting him on the top of his head. “It looked like I interrupted a moment and I apologize for that. Is the mood completely ruined?”

“Doesn’t matter, I can’t tell her yet anyway. Too much going on,” he sighed.

“If you say so. Just remember, there is no perfect moment. Don’t drag your feet and miss out on her entirely waiting for it.” She excused herself to her room and a minute later you returned to finish watching the movie.

“Oh hey, what did you call me earlier?” you asked when you sat down again. “I thought you were about to say something before your aunt showed up.”

“I uh, I just called you witchy, you know, cause you’re my witch.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. “And I don’t remember what I was gonna say. It was probably nothing important.”

“If you say so.” You grabbed the pillow you had been clutching before and clasped it tight to your chest again. Never before did Rafayel think he would be jealous of a pillow.

The moment from before where it felt like everything was going to come bursting out of him had gone but he could still feel the words he hadn’t spoken stuck in the back of his throat. Nothing important he had said. What a foolish lie.

“You rang?”

You groaned as the voice pierced the air. You risked looking up from your blanket shelter and made out a bleary shape with purple hair. “Raf?” your voice was raspy in your throat.

“In the flesh,” he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Feeling better?”

“I don’t know…wait,” you looked around the room confused. “Where am I?”

“You are at my aunt’s house. Do you remember anything about last night?”

“Last night? I--” your stomach gave a lurch and you slapped a hand to your mouth. Rafayel was quicker than you and grabbed a garbage can. It was just a dry heave but it still didn’t feel good. “Kill me.”

“How about some water instead?” He handed you a cup of water from off the nightstand. “I also have hangover medicine.”

“Thanks.” You sipped at the water to wet your mouth and throat then chugged the hangover medicine like it was the elixir of life. “How did I end up here?”

“Well,” Rafayel said, scooting closer, “I came across you last night while I was out for a walk, you were getting drunk surrounded by luggage since you apparently got evicted from your apartment. And being the selfless amazing friend that I am I singlehandedly brought you and all your stuff back to my aunt’s house to sleep it off.”

“Oh no.” You buried your head in your hands. You had meant to catch the train back to your father’s house last night. What was supposed to be a couple drinks to soften the ache of leaving Linkon turned into getting drunk as the hours slipped by. “It’s starting to come back. I do remember talking to you last night, I think I said a lot of stuff about fries?”

“Yep. I then gave you a ride on my back to the cab.”

“Shit.” You laid back against the mattress. “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“Do you remember anything else?” he asked.

You shook your head and hid back under the blanket. “No. And at this point I feel humiliated enough that I don’t want to.”

“So you don’t remember the cab ride or anything after I got you to the house?”

You didn’t remember a cab ride but you did vaguely recall getting to the house. You were laying in bed much like you were now and--

Love you

Oh no. Oh damn it all to hell!

You remembered ranting to him about his relationship with Merri and drunkenly confessing to being in love with him. Or did you? Did the words actually leave your mouth or did you just think them? Maybe you said them after he had left. You could definitely remember thinking the words. You tried to press for more details, willed your brain to remember anything more so you could know exactly how terribly you embarrassed yourself last night but nothing was coming to mind.

All you could remember was that you may or may not have said that you loved him. Hopefully if you did say it he would just think you meant in a friendly way and that you weren’t actually harboring deeper feelings for him. Yes. It was fine. Nothing to worry about.

“Nope. Nothing,” you answered. “Did I say something? Or perhaps do something weird?” You bolted up straight. “Please say I didn’t puke on you!”

Rafayel took in a deep breath and shook his head. “Uh no, no puke. Nothing weird either…you um, you just really wanted some fries from what I recall.”

Thank goodness for that.

“I’m so sorry for making you take care of me. I promise I’ll be out of your hair soon.” You looked in the corner and saw the crate with your cats in it. They were awake now and meowing for food and freedom. “Can I trouble you for something to feed them? I didn’t bring any kibble for them when I was packing my things.”

“I’ll bring something over.” Rafayel stood up. “And there’s need for you to rush and leave.”

“I’m already behind, I was planning on catching the train yesterday. I need to rush.” You flung the blanket back but moving quickly made you woozy.

“What train?” he asked.

“A train home, back to my family’s house in the country.” you sighed. “I can’t afford to stay in the city so I was going to go home.”

“Leave Linkon? But surely you can find another place to live or something. You don’t need to leave the city.”

“I’d love to stay in the city but I was already struggling to pay rent at my last apartment and that was already one of the cheapest ones I could find. Anything even slightly more expensive will be impossible unless I never want free time again.” You looked around for your phone to see when the next train was leaving.

“Stay here.” Rafayel plucked the phone out of your hands.

“Raf, I just said--”

“No, stay with me--I mean, stay here with me and my aunt. We have this spare bedroom, we won’t charge you rent, you can stay here. At least until you get back on your feet.”

This morning was already not going how you wanted it and now the man you had a crush on was telling you to stay in his house where you would see him every day. There’d be no way to avoid it. Not him. Not your feelings.

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You don’t need to, I’m offering. I already told my aunt about you getting evicted and she said it was okay if you stay as long as you need.” Rafayel grew quiet. “Unless there’s maybe another reason you don’t want to stay here.”

You couldn’t tell him it was because you had feelings for him and the idea of being around him while he was happily in a relationship with Merri was tearing you apart from the inside out. “I…I don’t want to be a burden,” you said instead.

“You won’t be.”

Damn it. Everything inside you was telling you to run. Everything about this was a bad idea but that stupid part of your heart wanted to stay. Now your brain was justifying it however it could. If you stayed here you could find a better job and get better pay and move into a nicer apartment. You wouldn’t have to worry your father and brothers by moving back home. Really, it was the best offer you could get and you’d probably be better off if you just accepted. It was all so logical.

Still your mind kept debating what to do.

It’s a good idea. It’s a terrible idea! You can be an adult about this. You’re too immature to handle this! You don’t have to leave. You can’t stay!

“Okay,” the word fell out of your mouth. “But I’ll earn my keep. I can clean and stuff, I won’t just freeload off of your aunt’s generosity. I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience to the both of you like this.”

Rafayel’s face brightened and he handed you back your phone. “I’m glad you’re staying, and you really need to learn to accept help when it is offered. Take it easy, I’ll be back for something to feed your little beasts.”

After he left the room you opened the crate to let your cats out to roam. “Sorry babies, I know it’s not fun being cooped up all day.”

You downed the rest of the water Rafayel had brought you and fished around in your luggage for a new set of clothes. There wasn’t an adjoining bathroom so you had to leave and find one to clean up in. You had been here enough before when you were modeling for Rafayel that finding the bathroom was easy enough. You were planning on just brushing your teeth but after an entire day being out in the hot sun toting all your belongings and getting drunk you decided a shower would suit you better.

It was amazing how much of a difference decent plumbing made. The water stayed hot, the pressure was strong and consistent, there was actually room to move around and you weren’t cramped into a short square. You decided when you were apartment hunting one of the musts you were going to look for was a good bathroom.

The shower did help to make you feel like more of a person and the hangover was starting to ebb which was great. After a change of clothes and a quick clean up of the cats’ litter and you were ready to confront the rest of the day…living at Rafayel’s house.

“Why did I agree to this?” you muttered to yourself as you left to find some food.

You were hoping maybe scalp some crackers or just something to get in your stomach but found Rafayel already in the kitchen cooking something. “There you are,” he said. “I’m still making lunch but you can sit and wait if you want a plate.”

“Oh okay,” you sat down at the table. The last time you had seen Rafayel cook was when he came by your apartment for the first time. Standing in a nice kitchen such as this with an apron tied around his waist you could have mistaken him for a personal chef. He moved with such fluidity, like every chop of a knife and shake of a pan was part of some intricate dance.

“So, where is your aunt?” you asked. You had never met her in all the times you’ve visited before and had to wonder if she actually did live here or not.

“She’s at a rehearsal. She’ll be back in the evening.” He continued chopping.

“I see. Any plans for the day?” You were getting more and more anxious about being in this house alone with him. You needed someone else to cut the awkwardness you were feeling.

“Not a one.” Rafayel shrugged. “You gonna do anything today?”

“Well, the shift I normally work has been taken over by nepotism, so no.” You still needed to formally quit. It was a shame because you did like that cafe but without proper hours you’d never be able to get a new apartment. “I’ll probably spend the day job hunting online for something that pays better.”

“Or, here’s a wild thought,” Rafayel said, “You could take a day off and not worry about jobs or money or anything else for that matter. You look like you need a day to yourself.”

“Are you saying I look tired?”

“Yes, but also Thomas told me about how you get into funks where you don’t talk to people and only work and I think you could use a recovery day so you don’t fall back into that rut.” Rafayel gestured for you to come closer, holding out a spoon full of sauce to you. “Give this a taste and tell me what you think.”

You took taste and had to stop yourself from moaning. “Damn that was good!”

“Glad to hear it.” he smiled and went back to stirring.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. How does a god know how to cook so well?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “You know I wasn’t always a god. I have always been in line for consideration but before the elders chose me I was living as any other normal Lemurian. I learned basic life skills and I rather liked cooking so I spent a lot of time in the kitchen learning from the best. Can’t you cook?”

“Only the basics, anything fancier than that and I end up just making a mess.”

“That would explain why your tastes seem to start and end with cup noodles.” He rolled his eyes. “Come over here.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, please”

“Okay,” you stood up and stood next to him. “Why do you want me here?”

“Cooking lesson.” He pushed the cutting board over to you. “Finish chopping these scallions for me.”

“Oh no, please don’t feel like you have to teach me.” You tried sliding the board back over to him.

“You said you wanted to earn your keep, right? This is how it is happening. Now get chopping.” He pushed it back to you. “You do know how to chop a vegetable, do you?”

Your pride flared with indignation. “I’m not a complete idiot, I can chop something just as well as the next guy.”

“Good, then get to it.” he nudged you with his elbow and watched as you took up the knife and started cutting up the scallions.

You could chop veggies just fine but it was nowhere near as smooth or as fast as Rafayel had been doing it. How did people do this so fast without accidentally cutting off a finger?

“Can I give you a pointer?” Rafayel asked, slipping the knife from your hand. “When chopping you don’t want to act like a cleaver just banging away slowly at it. You want to kind of rock the blade like this where the blade never lifts completely off the cutting board. And keep your fingers safe by curling the fingers back to secure whatever you’re chopping.”

“Okay…” you took his advice and started chopping again. “I don’t really get this motion.”

“Like this,” he placed his hand over yours to demonstrate the move and were encased in that scent of ozone, amber, and orange blossom that he always smelled like. You were barely paying attention to what he was showing you, too aware of the feeling of his hand cupping yours.

“That feel better?” he asked.

“Y-Yeah, I think I got it.” You forced your eyes to stay down on the cutting board.

“See, not so hard as it looks. And who know, maybe one day you’ll get as good as me.”

And the butterflies fluttering up a storm in your stomach all went still. “Oh how very humble you are, mister fish face.”

“Hey, that is lord fish face to you.” he pointed the spoon at you.

You laughed despite yourself and continued on cooking, with Rafayel showing you some simple tricks and giving you a few pointers. It was an informative lesson but half of what he said went in one ear and out the other since he was so close the entire time.

You thought being around him would have been harder but you were surprised by how quickly you fell back into the familiar repartee. Putting aside your growing feelings you had to admit you missed spending time with him. In a short amount of time he had gone from a stranger to one of your closest friends and cutting him out left a larger hole than you thought it would.

Over lunch you explained more about what had been going on the past couple of weeks leading up to you getting evicted. He listened intently, only really chiming in when you got to the part of actually being evicted by your former landlord and from there he was infuriated on your behalf. Then came the question you had been hoping to avoid.

“If you were in such dire straits why didn’t you come to me? That painting we started still isn’t finished and you would have made more than enough to pay your rent.”

Your fork scraped the empty plate before you. “Well, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“How would that be bothering me?” he pressed.

“You had just gotten into a new relationship, things are actually working out between you two and I know how important finding someone to love is for you so I didn’t want to distract you. I also know how new couples are, they get so attached cause they’re in that honeymoon phase so I figured you wouldn’t even notice that I wasn’t around as often.” You picked up your dishes and moved over to the sink so he couldn’t see the pained expression on your face.

Rafayel, never one to let something go that easily, followed you to the sink, taking whatever clean dishes you had just washed and picking up a towel to dry them. “You wouldn’t have been a distraction and I did notice,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”

Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. It was making an already hard conversation worse.

“I…I missed you too.” He had no idea just how much you had missed him and what it meant to be here with him now. There was a war inside you, one that fought to keep the distance as friends cause he was already in a relationship and one that that wanted to betray your friends by letting yourself fall into him completely. And when you looked into those beautiful sunset eyes of his you found the side that wanted him all to yourself pulling winning.

“I should um, I should go finish unpacking.” You took the first step away.

“Right,” he nodded, setting the clean plates on the counter. “You settle in, let me know if you need anything.”

You rushed back to the guest bedroom and slipped inside. Your cats had wandered out of their crate and were now making themselves well at home inside the room. “Don’t get too used to it,” you told them, “We’re not staying here long.”

Instead of putting your things away you dug out your laptop and pulled up job listings. You needed to get out of this house fast before you ended up doing something stupid.

~~~

Rafayel was fine. Really he was. He had convinced you not to move far away, you were relaxing after a very stressful couple of weeks, and you were even staying in his house where he’d get to see you everyday.

The only problem was that you didn’t remember saying you loved him last night and he couldn’t yet tell you that he was single and confess that he completely and utterly in love with you. Maybe if you had remembered he’d be able to bypass the whole grace period thing he promised Merri because you would have said it first and everything would have been fine. But no. You got too drunk and didn’t remember and now you were going to be living in his house where he’d see you everyday and everyday he’d have to keep his feelings to himself, at least until Merri left for her research trip.

It also just wasn’t a good time to be confessing anyway. You were going through a lot at the moment and it would probably be for the best if you weren’t also juggling a new relationship. That was if you actually wanted to be with him and your drunken confession wasn’t just some mistake that you didn’t actually mean.

Just a few days. In a few days Merri would be off on her trip, you’d be more settled, and he could tell you that you are everything he’s ever wanted in life. Easy peasy.

It had been a while since you retired to your room and Rafayel stopped by to see how you were settling in. He gave a gentle knock and heard you tell him to enter.

He expected to see the room more organized but when he came in your luggage was still untouched and you were bent over your laptop. “I thought you were unpacking.” He maneuvered around the large box full of your stuff.

“I will in a bit,” you muttered, eyes glazed over as you stared at the screen.

“What are you doing?” he walked around to see what you were looking at and saw you slowly scrolling through job listings. “Really? Didn’t I tell you to take today to relax?”

“I still need a job, Raf.”

“Not today you don’t.” He took the laptop and snapped it closed.

“Raf! Give it back!” you tried to grab it back from him.

“Nope. I told you to relax today and you didn’t do that so I’m confiscating this and ordering you to watch a movie with me instead.” He put the laptop on top of a tall shelf you couldn’t easily reach. “Living room, now. I will be bringing snacks.”

“But--”

“Nope. It’s been decided. Come on.” he marched over to the door and stood there until you got off the bed with a groan and followed him. You sat down in the living room while he found a number of snacks and brought them out to lay across the coffee table. He did let you pick the movie since he still wasn’t sure what movies were good or not and decided to trust your judgement.

You picked a fantasy movie about a star girl falling to earth and a man trying to escort her across a magical land, facing princes and witches and pirates, all while falling in love with said star. You were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, a single cushion of space between the two of you as you watched the harrowing and funny adventure happening on the screen.

Rafayel found himself continuously glancing over at you, watching your reactions to this movie you adored. It had been so long since he had seen you smile or heard you laugh, it was great to experience it all over again.

In the movie the protagonist had just been turned into a mouse by a witch and the star was confessing her feelings to him, unthinking that he understood what she was saying.

Rafayel glanced over once again to see what you were doing and saw that you had a pillow clutched to your chest, a warm, giddy smile plastered on your face. By the tides you were adorable. You had claimed yourself as a hopeless romantic and it was here the Rafayel knew that you had been telling the truth. You really did love love.

~“You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves. You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.”~

You turned to look at Rafayel, either seeking his reaction or wondering why he was watching you instead of the movie. Your eyes locked and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

~“So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable, and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you.”~

You weren’t looking away and neither was he. The scene kept on playing but neither of you were watching, something tenuous and unspoken hanging between the both of you. And for a moment nothing else existed.

~“I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you.”~

He swallowed, the space between you may as well have been a chasm because he wasn’t touching you. He didn’t want you across from him, he wanted you nestled in his arms where you belonged. And maybe, just maybe you wanted to be there too.

~“And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange, no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”~

“Cutie, I--”

The sound of the front door opening broke the spell and you snapped your heads to front. Rafayel had a fist pressed to his mouth, cursing in his head that he had almost spilled everything in a moment of weakness.

Talia walked inside, adjusting the purse on her shoulder when she caught sight of you and him sitting on the couch, acting like a pair of teenagers that got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. “Oh hello,” she waved.

“Hi auntie,” Rafayel paused the movie.

“Hello, miss Tan,” you stood up. “It’s a pleasure to meet you and Rafayel already told me that he told you why I’m here and I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay. I swear that I won’t do anything to burden you and will be nothing but respectful while I’m staying here. Thank you so much.”

“Oh my dear girl, think nothing of it.” Talia greeted you with a smile, clasping your hands. “It is just terrible what’s happened to you. If my nephew hadn’t invited you to stay I would have. Treat this home as your home and do let me know if there is anything I can do to help make you more comfortable.”

“You’ve done more than enough by letting me stay here. Thank you. And I just wanted to say I’m also a great fan of yours. I haven’t had the chance to attend a live show but I’ve watched many recordings.” You were practically vibrating with nervous excited energy.

“Thank you. You are just lovely.” She gave you an affectionate kiss on both your cheeks. “You look like you two were watching something so I won’t bother you. Carry on, and do not be shy in letting me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you again. I know I keep saying it but it means a lot to me.” You glanced around the room. “Actually, while we have the movie paused I’m going to go to the bathroom. Be right back.”

You scampered off and Talia turned to Rafayel. When he heard the click of the bathroom door Talia stepped closer with a pitying look. “So, this is the one you really like. She’s adorable, you have good taste.”

“Auntie!” Rafayel groaned, covering his face with his hands.

She chuckled, patting him on the top of his head. “It looked like I interrupted a moment and I apologize for that. Is the mood completely ruined?”

“Doesn’t matter, I can’t tell her yet anyway. Too much going on,” he sighed.

“If you say so. Just remember, there is no perfect moment. Don’t drag your feet and miss out on her entirely waiting for it.” She excused herself to her room and a minute later you returned to finish watching the movie.

“Oh hey, what did you call me earlier?” you asked when you sat down again. “I thought you were about to say something before your aunt showed up.”

“I uh, I just called you witchy, you know, cause you’re my witch.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. “And I don’t remember what I was gonna say. It was probably nothing important.”

“If you say so.” You grabbed the pillow you had been clutching before and clasped it tight to your chest again. Never before did Rafayel think he would be jealous of a pillow.

The moment from before where it felt like everything was going to come bursting out of him had gone but he could still feel the words he hadn’t spoken stuck in the back of his throat. Nothing important he had said. What a foolish lie.

you cock your head sideways as you think about the things that he has done for you. "you know, if i were anyone else, i would've taken things the wrong way and assumed you're interested in me."

"you should." he nods. "because that's what someone does if they're interested in you."

you pull your lips back into a grimace. "yeah, so... i wouldn't know about that."

a crease appears between his brows. "what?"

"i said, i wouldn't know about that." you shrug. "because no one's ever showed explicit interest in me before. i guess i've just never been someone's first choice, you know?"

"why would you say that?" the expression on his face turns incredulous, as though you have grown a pair of horns out of your head.

"maybe i'm just not attractive enough? and there's someone more good-looking than me that caught their attention? i guess i'm not likeable." you immediately bite on your tongue and clamp your mouth shut; you have said too much. you did not mean to air your subconscious insecurities like that.

the atmosphere changes, and you need to change the topic before things get too awkward. "sorry, i didn't mean to say all that. anyway..."

— CALEB | XIA YIZHOU

on one hand, he is so confused because: what??? what do you mean no one has ever liked you before??? have you looked at yourself in the mirror before??? are you mentally sane??? do you need to go to an optometrist to get your eyes checked??? for the love of god, there is no way no one (he repeats, no one) has never had an inkling of interest in you before.

on the other hand, can he really blame you? he has been dutifully scaring away every single person away from you. ain't no one approaching you when you have a full grown doberman looming behind you like that.

he is shocked at your self-assessment and promptly says, "you sayin' i don't have eyes, pipsqueak? for your information, my eyesight is 20/20, just so you know, and i know what i'm seeing with my two eyes right now."

takes you on a spontaneous date to get rid of those thoughts in your head. you are the most stunning person on earth, and he will have you recognise and acknowledge that.

— RAFAYEL | QI YU

immediately jumps backward, gasps out loud, and clutches his chest, as though you have just called him a lemurian slur. "what? i beg your finest pardon?"

"nobody is interested in me," you say? you do not know this, but he has waited 800 years for you. he has pined and yearned for you since, what, the dawn of time? try again, cutie!

"i know beauty when i see it, cutie," he says with a frown, reaching forward to cup your cheeks, "and i'm telling you that you're the finest piece of art crafted by adonis himself."

brings you to a closed-off room in his studio and shows you the sheer number of canvases in there, all of which having you as the subject, of course! "tell me, if you are as unattractive as you claim to be, do you think i'd paint you these many times? c'mon, you know i have an eye for art."

— SYLUS | QIN CHE

raises his eyebrow. oh? not attractive enough? those pests must have serious eyesight issues, so it seems. he quite literally cannot fathom your thought process and is confused as to how you came up with that conclusion.

he is also offended. has he not been showing you how much he adores you? should he buy out a luxury goods store or have you be the owner of his black card to show yoh how much he is willing to give you?

"don't be sorry, sweetie." his voice takes on a gentle edge as he drapes his coat over you. "being sorry means you've done something wrong, and the person who's wrong is the one who gave you those incorrect signals in the first place."

brace yourself, he is going to spoil you rotten for the days to come just to prove how much you deserve being someone's first choice. and not just anyone; his first choice.

— XAVIER | SHEN XINGHUI

has two reactions: firstly, he is shocked at how you could feel that way about yourself when you are the strongest hunter he has ever met and someone he is willing to die for. secondly, he wants to find the people who made you feel that way and pay for it. how could anyone make you feel less than? it is unacceptable, because you deserve nothing but the best.

to him, you are everything he could possibly want. you are his first choice — nay, you are his sole choice. every lifetime, every universe, he is only ever going to choose you. so, you telling him that you have never felt like anyone's choice at all — it felt like someone had driven a knife right into his chest and twisted it.

"i'm sorry you feel that way, but you're wrong. there's definitely someone out there who will choose you, and you've just not recognised that yet." there is a soft yet solid cadence to his voice.

you can expect him to amp up his acts of service for you. never felt like anyone's first choice? you will see that you are his choice, and he wants you to see that.

— ZAYNE | LI SHEN

is honestly appalled that you would feel that way. you have always been the confident one, going into situations with such assertiveness that he is sure you have turned some heads. so, for him to find out that this confident person feels otherwise? this is news to him.

you can be assured that you are his first choice, and the exclusive person who has wedged their way into his icy heart. his heart has room for one person, and it is you.

"no matter how you've come to that conclusion, it's entirely false." the way he says it sounds like he is stating a fact and there is no way to challenge it. he pauses, then adds, "i'm certain that you have been someone's first choice at least once."

there were dozens of them. peaceful sketches of you asleep. sharp, dynamic lines of you during training. soft moments of you laughing. rough, playful doodles of you angry. he had catalouged every single emotion, every micro-expression, studying your features as if he were afraid the universe might try to erase you from his mind. 

a familiar smell of fresh ocean water and citrus wafted behind you.

“cutie?” his voice cut through the silence.

you turned, the sketchbook still in your hands. rafayel froze, his gaze darting from your face to the pages. he crossed the room in a few fluid strides, closing the distance between you two.

“snooping through my collection, aren’t ya?” he teased, booping your nose.

your face immediately warms. even with his playful front, you can still see the slight tension in his shoulders, the quiet vulnerability of an artist who had just been exposed.

“it was just laying here, practically calling me to come look,” you counter, your voice softened, affected by the weight of what you just saw. you look back down at the sketchbook, your thumb tracing the page where he captured you smiling. “how long have you been drawing these?”

he lets out a dramatic, theatrical sigh, tilting his head as he feigned being deep in thought. “how long? probably since I first saw you,” he said casually. “it’s a medical condition at this point. my hands just move on their own.”

“so this is from the past year?” you ask.

“since I first saw you, cutie. not met you,” he smirked.

he steps closer, his chest brushing against your shoulder as he leans over to look at the book with you. he turned towards the beginning pages. “look at this one,” he murmured, his tone shifting from playful to entirely fascinated.

he stops on the sharp, ink filled page of you in your combat gear. your expression was fierce and unyielding. you recall it being the first time you and rafayel fought a wanderer together. 

“you always look so serious when you’re focused. I think that lemon guy was intimidated,” he said. “although, you make that same face when you’re trying to build legos.”

he turns to the next page. sure enough, you’re making the same face. but this time, your hands held small plastic blocks rather than a weapon. you giggled at the sight.

“is there one you haven’t drawn? you practically have everything in here,” you said, flipping through the pages.

rafayel’s gaze darkened, his hands coming up to find your waist as he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“there is one…” he said softly. “one I haven’t been able to get right.”

a shiver went down your spine as he pressed his front against your back, letting you feel the growing bulge in his pants. “what is it?” you asked, breathless.

“I haven’t been able to capture your face when you’re in pure bliss,” he murmured. “I always get…carried away.”

the implications that hung in the air caused your panties to dampen.

“maybe you just need a live model,” you offered.

that’s how you found yourself spread out on the couch, naked, while rafayel sat in front of you, sketchbook on his lap.

“you gonna draw me like one of your french girls?” you teased.

rafayel chuckled, his hand brushing against your inner thigh. “you’re my only girl,” he said softly. 

his fingers brushed between your folds, pressing gently against your clit. you sucked in a breath, face contorting in pleasure. the sound of charcoal against paper began to fill your ears.

“you’re a beautiful model, cutie,” he whispered, his finger dipping into your cunt. he thrusted in and out slowly, curving just right to brush against your spongey walls. 

you moaned, your legs spreading wider for him, hips thrusting against his hand. your eyes were glazed over and hazy, drunk with pleasure. “m-more,” you whined, reaching out to tightly hold his wrist.

he didn’t pull back. instead, he slid another finger in as his thumb rubbed your clit. Rafayel’s gaze remained locked onto your face, tracking every twitch of your lips and every flutter of your eyelids. he barely looked down as his other hand moved with masterful precision against the sketchbook, perfectly capturing the exact moment you unraveled for him.

“g-gonna..!” your voice cracked as your body spasmed. a gush of cum drenched rafayel’s hand as he stroked you through your high.

your body slumped against the cushions as he signed his sketch.

“I think I’m gonna need one more,” he said, unbuckling his belt. “you make a different face when it’s my cock.”

masterlist

© lilacgrayskies on tumblr

He doesn't even finish the sentence. His hand moves with the intent to rip the button right off his shirt.

You see his move before he can finish it, clamping your hand firmly over his wrist. 

You narrow your eyes at him. 

“You will not do that.”

Rafayel's chin tilts up, an amused challenge in his eyes. “What do you suggest we do then, Miss Bodyguard?”

Without answering, your free hand quickly reaches over in an attempt to break your hair.

You don't get far. His other hand immediately clamps down on your wrist.

He narrows his eyes at you. 

“You will not do that.”

Now you two are in a standoff, locking each other’s wrists, glaring at each other in a stalemate.

"Are you stupid?"

"No, you are stupid."

“Um… what are you two doing?” Thomas asks, as he wanders past dealing with gala logistics. He looks at the awkward position you two are locked in. “Do you need help?”

“No!” you both snap at the same time, shooting Thomas an identical glare without breaking your grip on each other.

“Ok I was just asking…”

Legend has it that you two are stuck like that to this day.

Digging your toes into the sand, you became rooted as the growing tide glided over your feet, lapping at your shins. With your arms spread wide, you soaked up those final rays, inhaled the breeze until you could taste its salt. 

You loved the sea. Always had. You couldn’t understand why you were forbidden to swim in it. 

‘You can only look,’ your parents had initially warned. Then it progressed to, ‘just stay on the shore, the sand is safe.’ 

They hadn’t permitted this, though. Peering down at your rebellion, you chewed your lip, intermingling both excitement and guilt. Despite the crawl of winter, the water was unusually warm, and you felt a strange stirring of emptiness inside. 

The final flash of sunset, and then it was gone, swallowed by the horizon. You hugged your elbows, tears welling. It was foolish to be upset, yet you were. It wasn’t fair. How could the sun take so long to traverse the sky, but only give a handful of seconds before vanishing at the end? 

You were obsessed with sunsets. They were your favourite colour in all the world, and this was the only place that gave you such glory. With a sulky pout, you retreated from the water, coming to sit where it was dry. Knees tucked and chin atop them, you stared out at the gentle swell for a while, more than content to listen to its lapping lullaby. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” came a drawling, hypnotic voice. 

Whipping about, you saw no one. Goosebumps rippled across your skin. Bolting onto your feet, fists weakly clenched, you called out, “Who’s there?”

“Out here, little one,” the mysterious voice returned, almost echoing, as if it were inside your head. 

With a frown, you swept your gaze onto the ocean, heart galloping into your throat when you spotted him. 

A Lemurian. 

You stumbled away, but the sand was uneven, and you fell onto your rear, eyes about to fall out of your head as you gaped. 

Lemurians never spoke to humans. They weren’t a myth, but they were certainly a mystery. One might consider them a sign of good fortune… or a terrible omen. 

With a shaky breath, you regained your composure, then, with a bow of your head, you mumbled, “I’m so sorry I’ve disturbed you. I’ll leave immediately.”

How stupid of you. Of course this was the reason the beach was forbidden. You inwardly cursed, praying that you might slip free of this ethereal creature. 

Humans weren’t permitted to cross Lemurian territory—no exceptions. It was just rather rotten luck that no one knew what those territories were. It all relied on tragic tales of drowned sailors or lured women. 

You’d half-turned to run when the Lemurian’s honeyed voice ensnared you. “Don’t leave.” His tone was so sweet, yet his stare held sharp command. 

Shivering, both from the cold and from a touch of fear, you accidentally met his gaze. He was extraordinary. Ethereal. You couldn’t believe it, and even as you pinched the skin of your inner wrist, the dream didn’t shatter. 

This was real. 

The Lemurian was a beautiful kind of masculine, the kind that only existed in paintings. A straight nose, pouty lips, sparkling eyes, and that lean, muscled build. His hair fell around him like swaying branches of wisteria, his glowing fins poking out of it. 

A delicate crown weaved about his head, like golden coral, decorated with the occasional pearl. To match such a piece, his bared torso dripped with similar jewellery, complementing his Lemurian markings. 

“Come closer.” He phrased it like a question, yet you knew it wasn’t.

With an outstretched hand, you felt your own drift up, a longing filling the centre of your chest to take it. With your other hand, you clamped down onto your wrist and jerked them both down your front, shaking free of his siren spell. 

“I shouldn’t be here,” you whispered, mostly to yourself. 

“And yet you are,” the Lemurian smiled, still awaiting you. “So come closer.”

When you slipped your hand into his, you gasped at how warm it was. Smooth, too. Like glass. With such tender politeness, he brought it up to his lips, planting a chaste kiss on the back. 

“Is this the correct custom?” He rasped against your skin. 

Your cheeks went pink. “It’s… well, it’s usually when—”

Your words fell short. At a distance, you hadn’t noticed the colour of his eyes, but now that you were standing in the water, holding hands with a Lemurian, you couldn’t breathe. 

They were your colour.

“Your eyes…” You breathed at him, in true wonder. “They’re like sunsets.”

He laughed, the sound of it rich and tinkling. “What is your name, little human?”

You told him, or maybe you didn’t. You were too lost in that swirl of amber and amethyst. 

“I am Rafayel,” he released your hand, and you nearly whimpered at the loss of contact. “And these are my shores.”

Reality rolled through you, and as if waking from a dream, you blinked a few times. “I didn’t mean to trespass,” you insisted, fear furrowing your face. “Please, I truly didn’t! I just like to watch the sunsets on the water. But I’ll never come back, I swear it to you!”

Not much was known about Lemurians, and you didn’t want to risk the wrath of one. Begging was not beneath you. 

“Never come back? And break my heart? Surely you wouldn’t do that.”

Your breath failed you. “No… I wouldn’t…”

+++

Rafayel was fascinated by humans. He pried for every detail, from your language right down to bodily function. 

“What do you eat?” He probed, resting his chin on a hand. 

He had noticed your constant shivering as you conversed by the ocean shore, the nightly breeze laced with a southern chill. Guiding you along in the dark, you were surprised to find a secret cavern. Having you gather some old driftwood, he lit a fire, and there you sat by it, warm and comfortable, while Rafayel remained in the water, leisurely draped over a rock. 

It was almost comical that a creature of the sea could control fire. Regardless, you were grateful. 

“We eat all sorts of things. Fruit, vegetables, animals. Some things we cook, otherwise we get sick.” 

“What is your favourite?” 

You pursed your lips as you considered. “I like sweeter things. We have a dish that’s called cake. We can make it with all sorts of flavours, but I think orange might be my favourite.”

You had no idea why Rafayel had taken such a great interest in your knowledge. Surely other people out there had caught his attention—you were still young, yet to see the world, to take what it had to offer. 

Maybe you really were the only one breaking the rule about the ocean. 

Sneaking a glance at the Lemurian, you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy about that. 

“How do your legs work?”

You giggled. “I suppose the same way your tail does. I don’t know. I just use them.” 

He snorted, but you spied his amused smirk. 

You were too shy to ask him questions about Lemurian things. This was a miracle, and you were terrified of scaring him off, or worse, angering him. There was still a risk here. These were his shores, he’d said so himself, and he had every right to do whatever he wanted to you, since you were a no-good trespasser. 

But the more you talked with Rafayel, the more you felt secure. He wouldn’t hurt you. Well, not out of vengeance. Maybe out of curiosity, at most. To see how your human body differed from his. 

“Can I touch your foot?” He asked, far too excited. 

Your laugh was nervous, perhaps embarrassed. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Please? I will be very careful. I find them fascinating.”

Holding your breath, you slid your foot closer until it was within his reach. He leaned in and, with those warm hands, began to inspect it. You couldn’t suppress your shiver as you watched him, unsure whether it was apprehension or enjoyment. 

It was endearing to see him so enraptured by something so simple as a foot. “So bizarre,” he murmured under his breath. 

Your breath hitched as one hand began to sculpt higher, caressing the muscle of your calf. Cheeks growing hot, you pulled out of his grasp. Rafayel’s brows fell into a harsh scrunch. “I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?”

You cleared your throat. “Oh, no. It’s just… Well, humans don’t normally touch each other’s legs. I’m not used to it.”

“I had no idea they were sensitive,” he nodded, intrigued.

No longer as flustered, you let out a breathy laugh. “They’re not. Well, sometimes. It… it really depends on the circumstance.”

Rafayel cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

The tips of your ears were scorching. “Um, oh. It’s… Uhh—”

“Your face is very red. Are you alright?”

You snapped your eyes shut, vibrating with embarrassment. 

“Some parts of us are naturally always sensitive, other parts aren’t. But they can be, depending on the type of touch.”

Rafayel pursed his lips, and after a long moment, he lit up. “You mean like a mating ritual?”

“Exactly. Yes.”

Rafayel then frowned again, slowly considering you. “But we are not the same species. Your body still responds?”

You needed to change the conversation. Immediately. Before you melted away out of mortification. You swore your neck was a vivid shape of crimson right now, the heat that was coming off you. 

“Yes,” you managed to splutter. “It’s not that I, uh, want to. Sometimes our bodies just… react to things. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be foolish. I am very intrigued. In fact, I’d love to see more.”

You choked on a surprised yelp, fully flinching at his words. “What!”

He merely shrugged. “Lemurians can only mate once a year, and it isn’t through touch. I’d like to know more about humans and their mating rituals.”

“You don’t… touch each other?” 

He shook his head. “We could, but it’s not something we do.”

“Humans… well, we touch each other. A lot. In many places. It’s like what I was trying to explain before.” Your humiliation ebbed away, just like the tide. Here was simply a mind that yearned for knowledge. For whatever reason, this beautiful creature was trusting your explanations and took every word as fact. You had a duty to do this properly. This could be the beginning of a cultural connection! The possibilities… and if all it meant was you had to explain what sex was, well…

“We can mate whenever we want. And it’s not always just to have children. Most of the time, it’s for fun.”

Rafayel’s brows nearly shot off his face. “Truly?”

You nodded, smiling now, finding his curiosity oddly cute. “The body parts that we use are very sensitive. And it feels very good. That’s why.”

“Can I see?”

And just like that, your stomach twisted. 

“Your face is red again. What does that mean?”

“It…” with a shaky breath, you tried to smile through it. “I’m embarrassed. Those parts are very private, Rafayel. We don’t show them to anyone.”

Rafayel nodded. “So you only use these special parts for sex? Fascinating.”

Your mouth parted, the words stuttering from you. “Well, no. We can use everything. The main part of sex does involve those parts. But it doesn’t have to.”

“Explain.”

“Humans sometimes use their hands or mouths. There’s really… Um.” You bit your lower lip, far too self-conscious to continue. “Rafayel, this is… I’m not sure I should be the one to tell you these things. I’m not very experienced.” You mumbled the last part. 

Alarm flashed over his face. “Oh, I am terribly sorry. I thought you were an adult.”

Way to inadvertently twist the knife. “I am,” you sighed. “I’m just… undesired. No one wants me.”

Rafayel shifted, face contorting into the most bewildered pout. “I’m very confused. You are an adult human, and you are beautiful. How are you undesired?”

A warmth spread through you at the sincerity of his words. “You… think I’m beautiful?”

“I have seen many humans. I would consider you stunning.”

A chesty, sorrowful laugh escaped you. “Thank you.”

“If only I were a human man,” Rafayel murmured, something flashing behind his eyes. “You have given me a taste of your life, but I can’t help but long for more.”

“There’s really not much else I can offer you, though.” You tucked your chin down, hiding from his intense gaze, like he was trying to pry something from your head. 

“You have enthralled me,” his voice crawled along your skin like velvet. “I want to give you everything.”

Everything froze but your rapid heart, which lurched up into your mouth. Your eyes followed his movements as Rafayel reached to touch you. 

“Show me how,” he rasped, coming into contact with your ankle. His ascending hand left a smoldering heat in its wake, your skin tingling something fierce in response. “Show me how to give you pleasure.”

You whimpered as he approached your aching core, not that he knew it. But he was observant. He knew that his touch was stirring things within you, eyes narrowing with satisfaction as your eyes fluttered closed and your breath grew shallow. 

“Tell me to stop,” he said softly. 

“I don’t want you to,” you admitted with a moan. 

Standing up, you removed your garments, and as he stared up at you from the water, you felt electric. He tilted his head as his sunset gaze devoured your naked body, partly curiosity, but the other something darker—sinful. 

Rafayel slipped off the rock and sat in the shallow water, and with the flare of his hand, ignited his flames beneath, warming it for you. Slowly, you stepped in, coming to sit beside him with a twist of nerves, but also exhilaration. 

Wrapping an arm about your waist, he secured you against him, hand resting on the plush of your thigh. 

“Guide me,” he whispered into the shell of your ear. With a shiver, you placed your hand atop his, and your chest tightened at the size difference. He was lean, sure. But he was much larger than you’d anticipated. 

With scalding slowness, you guided Rafayel until those gorgeous, long fingers brushed against your slick core, softer than moth wings. You arched up with a whispering gasp. 

“Tell me,” his voice had dropped into a rasp, almost husky, scraping against your cheek now. “If I were a man, is this where you’d take me?”

You nodded weakly, eyes rolling back as with one slow push, his finger sank into you. 

“So wet,” he murmured, heavy with lust. “How does it feel?”

“So good,” you moaned, grinding your hips for some friction, to have him go deeper. “But you can give me more, if you want.”

Obeying your plea, he slipped in a second, and beyond all reason, Rafayel knew exactly what to do. Curling his fingers just right, he fucked you. Braving a peep at him, your cheeks grew aflame, for he was staring right into you, lips parted and a heavy-lidded expression on his face. 

“Your thumb,” you gasped at him, astonished at how easy he worked you, fingers plunging in and out in a languid pace. “Press… here…” your hand slipped back down to show him your clit. 

When he pressed down with delicious pressure, you choked on your scream, your orgasm rising within you, promising to be a blistering, white-hot release. 

“Not too much, but not too little,” you panted at him, your pleasure threatening to burn you from the inside out. 

“You’re squeezing my fingers,” he observed, a sinful smirk tugging at his mouth. “Am I doing well?”

“Yes,” you whined, throwing your head back to rest on his shoulder, falling away into bliss. “So, so good, Rafayel…”

His increasing pressure had your vision blurring, mouth agape, senses drowning in bliss. He didn’t need any more of your guidance; your expressions and reactions were more than enough to push you closer to the edge. With a final moan, you plunged into an electric wave of pleasure, ripping through your body like lightning. 

Circling your clit, Rafayel earned a needy sob from you, and you clenched hard around his fingers, riding out the final wave of your release.

When he withdrew from you entirely, you whimpered, slumping against his large body. A new kind of heat bloomed through your abdomen when you watched him suck on his fingers, tasting your slick. 

The glimmer in his eye had your mouth go a little dry. 

You couldn't help yourself and stole kiss from her. Caleb opened her eyes again. "I didn't know kissing would be part of your routine."

"It's my reward for doing your makeup. Stay still again, I'm almost done." You curl her lashes and apply mascara.

Caleb was pretty good at doing makeup herself. She learned when you were teens so she can do your makeup. But she never really wears it herself. Caleb was a bit of a tomboy growing up, even now her style and presentation always leaned more masculine. So you were curious to see how she look with full glam on. Of course someone as gorgeous as her would only look more stunning with makeup.

You carefully applied a red lipstick on her. "This color looks so pretty on you."

"Really?" She looked up at you.

"Yes it lo-". You were by interrupted by her pressing her lips against yours. She pulled away, a smug expression on her face.

"I think it looks more pretty on you." Her lipstick had smudged on your lips. Caleb grabs you face and pulls you back in for another kiss. You let out soft moans as she devoured you. She always kissed you with such passion and desire as if to make up for all the years of yearning between you too.

You pull slightly away to catch your breath. "What was that all for?"

"I'm giving you your reward." She kissed your neck leaving behind a kiss mark. "I've been away for so long. I missed you pips." She kissed your collarbone leaving behind another mark. "Will you let me show you just how much I missed." She looked up at you with her irresistible puppy eyes.

You nodded in response and let her help you slip of your tank top. Caleb kissed your bare tit, leaving yet another faint mark. "You look so pretty like this, marked by my kisses. No one will take you away from me because they'll know your mine." She sucked on one of your nipples while pinching the other. You whimpered and grinded yourself against her thigh.

She gently pushed you on your back. Your lips connected together in another passionate kiss. Your hand ran up her shirt and fondle one of her tits. Caleb quickly took off her shirt, fully exposing her tits to you. They were always bigger than yours. You grabbed at both of them, pinching her nipples between your fingers. She resumed kissing you letting her moans drown out in your mouth.

You felt her hand slip under your panties. You moaned when she began to rub your clit in cricles. "You're so wet. You must have really missed me too angel."

"Caleb I want more."

"Did you touch yourself at all when I was gone." You shook your head no. "No wonder you're so needy. You can't fuck yourself as good as I can."

She sat up and slip of your shorts and panties. You open your legs, exposing your pussy to the cool air. Caleb dragged a finger between your folds all the way up to your throbbing clit. She then sucked on her own finger to taste you. "Fuck you taste amazing."

She layed down on her stomach and angled her head right adove your pussy. She nibbled at your inner thighs before slowly kissing her way to your cunt. You could feel her warm breath right on your clit. You looked at you while giving your clit small licks. "Caleb please." Your plea come out whiny and needy. You couldn't stand her teasing anymore.

She finally took your clit into her mouth and greedily began sucking. "Caleb Caleb Cay." All you could do was moan out her name. Caleb inserted two fingers inside you. Your back back arched when she hit your sweet spot. You gripped her hair with one hand while the other gripped the sheets. Your hips moved on thier own, grinding against her face.

The pleasure was had overtaken your entire body. She was eating you out so good. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. "I'm gonna cum." Caleb gripped your thighs harder, silently encouraging you to let go. Your came hard. You harshly pulled her hair, while your juices gushed on to her mouth.

You were breathless and you could still feel yourself twitching from your orgasm. Caleb pulled her head away from your cunt. Your arousal was dripping down her lips. She blissfully smiled at you.

"I ruined your makeup." You realize looking at the smudged lipstick on her face.

"I don't care." She kissed your inner thigh. "It's like you marked me too."

AN: First time I’ve written wlw. I’m hoping it come out okay :)

Hunter awoke the next morning to the scent of coffee and something delicious that made her stomach rumble. It took her a few minutes to fully rouse herself, feeling more comfortable and relaxed than she’d ever been in her life. Then the reality of her situation dawned on her: she was in Zayne’s bed.

She stretched languidly before peeling off the covers with a yawn. As she sat up and swung her legs out of the bed, she realized she was still dressed in Zayne’s shirt and her stockings… and nothing else. She made her way first to the bathroom to freshen up, then stepped shyly into the kitchen where she saw Zayne monitoring a pan on the stove.

“Good morning,” she said, a blush creeping into her cheeks. “Early riser even on your days off, huh?”

He looked up at her greeting and his expression softened as he looked at her. Then he seemed to register what she was wearing and his ears turned red. “Good morning. A regular sleep schedule should also be maintained on days off.” He said, unable to resist a lecture, and reached for her, beckoning her over to him. “I also simply felt like cooking you breakfast.”

Hunter’s heart fluttered in her chest, the softness in his eyes almost enough to bring tears to her own. She closed the distance and felt his hand wrap around her waist as she reached one of hers up to rest on the side of his face. “Have I told you how much I adore you?” she asked, smiling, and tugged him down gently to kiss him.

“Hmm, perhaps,” he said, pulling away to return his attention to the stove. “But I was hoping after breakfast, you could show me again.”

************

Later that evening, Hunter was digging through her closet, trying to decide on an outfit for the big event. The exhibition was two days away, and she felt increasingly nervous as each day ticked down. She was interrupted from her deliberations by the sound of her apartment’s doorbell. She hadn’t expected any visitors, and she hadn’t buzzed anyone in. A neighbor, perhaps?

She opened the door to see Rafayel standing there, brushing his hair off his forehead. “Rafayel! What are you doing here?” She smiled, then paused. “How did you get in, actually?” She asked, opening the door to let him through.

“Easy, just followed someone else inside. They held the door for me and everything. You reaaally should get some security for this place.” He had adopted his usual jocular tone, but the look on his face seemed too deliberately neutral. 

Hunter felt a tinge of unease. The unannounced visit was new—not abnormal behavior for Rafayel, but the expression on his face seemed to mask something. “What kind of body guard would I be if I needed one of my own?” She tried joking, but it came out flat.

Rafayel ignored it. “Where were you this morning, cutie? I stopped by on my way to pick up some last-minute supplies, but you weren’t home. I don’t remember you telling me you had any plans.”

Hunter’s heart dropped into her stomach. Thoughts of her beautiful morning and where she had spent it flooded her mind, and she could feel her neck get hot. There was no way to hide what had happened now with Zayne—especially after he had been open to making this work. She would have to finally face this truth with Rafayel. “Yeah… “ she took a deep breath, then let it out. “I think there’s something we need to discuss.”

Rafayel blanched. “What is it, cutie?” He asked, reaching out to her.

“Sorry, can you give me a second?" She flinched away from him. "I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation right now. I need to… I don’t know… think about what I want to say.” Hunter was panicking now, and seeing Rafayel’s face cycle through every stage of grief as she finished speaking was not helping.

“Okay, well, that’s not terrifying to hear at all or anything, yeah?” A cold sweat beaded on Rafayel's furrowed brow at the underlying implications 'we need to talk' tended to carry. Something was wrong. He hoped he was wrong about what, exactly, that was.

"Here, sit down. Do you want anything? Water or tea or… something?" Hunter's mind had gone completely blank. She felt like a stranger in her skin. Every part of her was trying to run away from facing this conversation, but she knew now that everything had been leading to this moment. Every secret, every half-truth, every time she shirked the responsibility of just telling him what she wanted.

"What I want is to know what's making you so upset, Miss Bodyguard," Rafayel replied, his voice gaining an edge. He was truly worried now; her stalling was building the anxiety gripping his heart to an agonizing crescendo. He tried to keep his thoughts from spiraling somewhere he wouldn't be able to come back from.

"I had a… conversation with Zayne," she began, wincing at how completely inadequate the statement was. "That's where I was this morning."

Rafayel chuckled mirthlessly. "I could gloat about my suspicions being correct, you know. When you didn't answer the door, I thought about calling you. But the thought of you…" he didn't finish his thought, the anger and jealousy he felt earlier this morning threatening to resurface.

Hunter could see the pain clearly on his face and felt disgusted with herself. "Rafayel, please listen. This is not at all how I wanted this to go. I hate that I'm making you feel this way. But please, I'm trying…" she took a breath and held it for a moment, then released it. "I'm trying my best to explain in a way that you can understand."

"The longer it takes you to explain, Hunter, the worse it's making me feel. You know that, yeah?" He tilted his head and crossed his arms, his patience wearing thin.

"I do. That's what's making this so hard. You have no idea what you mean to me, and the thought of fucking this up is terrifying." She reached out to him now, placing her hand on his arm.

"I have no idea?" He looked down at her hand on his arm and considered shrugging it off, but wavered just enough to stop himself. As angry as he was, he still found her touch grounding. "Do you even know who you're talking to right now?"

Hunter wanted to scream. Why was this going so badly? Why could she not just spit it out instead of saying the exact wrong thing every single time? "That's not what I meant. Okay… okay. I'm just going to say it." Swallowing everything down, she continued, looking into his eyes. "Rafayel, I love you. You mean more to me than—than almost anyone. My heart will always be yours." She paused, sliding her hand over his arm to take his hand in hers and lace their fingers together. "But my heart also belongs to Zayne. The bond I share with him is… different to ours, but no less essential to me; neither can ever be severed. I couldn't bear it if I lost either of you."

Rafayel couldn't help the sharp bark of a laugh that escaped his lips, flicking his eyes away from hers. "Than… almost… anyone..." he repeated her words back at her, his voice low and quiet, shaking his hand loose of her grip and massaging his temple with it. "How dare you speak of bonds so casually. You know nothing of what it means to give the whole of yourself to another, and clearly, you never will." He couldn't bring himself to look at her. The excruciating pain seizing his heart made it hard for him to breathe.

Hunter recoiled as if physically slapped. His words, spoken as if each one cost him more than the last, rang true, at least in part. She couldn't give herself to him fully, not if he wouldn't accept Zayne's existence within her heart. But how to make him understand that, though the shape of her love differed from his, it was no less fiercely devoted? The conversation was spiraling dangerously towards a point of no return for them both.

She coughed, her throat suddenly achingly dry. "I love you, Rafayel," she repeated. "I know what it cost you to love me. And I know that I'm asking you for more," she brushed at her eyelids, suddenly burning hot with traitorous tears. She risked reaching out with both hands to direct his face to hers, as if he would be able to see everything she was unable to say reflected in her eyes.

"So I'm supposed to just accept you being with him because he has some kind of Lemurian fetish? Is that what this was about from the start?" Rafayel asked, the hurt open and raw in his expression. He didn't divert his gaze; instead, he grabbed her wrists in both hands, once again anchoring himself in this moment. He felt dangerously close to turning and running away. Casting himself to sea where he could once again fade into obscurity, numb, instead of his heart broken into thousands of jagged shards.

Hunter gasped. "Rafayel, no. That has nothing to do with... That was just…" She cast about in her mind feebly for the right words; how could she explain that him being a Lemurian was only the flimsy excuse for them to meet? It felt so ludicrous now.

"I don't think you truly comprehend what it means for Lemurians to love; what bonding with a Lemurian entails. You own me, Hunter; I am compelled to answer your command, remember? So go ahead and get it over with. Simply command that I must."

Hunter let out a sharp cry and shrugged off his hands to hide her face, sinking down to the floor. "I would never do that, Rafayel!" She sobbed, the thought that he imagined she would ever consider it cutting deeper than a knife ever could. "I'm just trying to help you understand that my heart can't waver from this. It kills me that it hurts you. I would never willingly cause you pain."

"And what am I supposed to do with that? You feel terrible, so that suddenly excuses everything, yeah? Do you think I want you to feel bad?" Part of Rafayel wanted very badly to gather her in his arms and ask her to explain, to figure out a version of this that might work. But the louder part of him, the part that held so much fear, loneliness, jealousy and, yes, anger, couldn't let this go so easily. There was a voice inside of him that threatened to consume him, a darkness that asked how she dared ask him to share. It was all he could do to swallow it down. "Maybe I should just go."

"Please, don't." She shakily stood back up, swiping her tears away as she looked at him. She didn't dare reach for him this time, instead hugging her arms tightly around herself.

"I need to." He said it with a note of finality, his voice barely above a whisper. In less than a second, the mask of indifference slid back into place, and if it wasn't for the look in his eyes, it would seem as if he was just heading home like any other night. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, cutie. Promise me you'll be around this time, yeah?"

************

Dawn found Hunter running on a handful of hours' sleep. She had spent the previous night caught between bouts of sobs and formulating the explanation she owed Rafayel. She had finally run a scalding-hot shower and washed the disgust and shame off herself as best she could. She stayed under the spray until it turned lukewarm, then turned off the water with numb fingers. At least her tears had stopped.

Toweling off her hair and wrapping herself in her fluffiest bath robe, she grabbed her phone. She knew Rafayel was most likely awake, just like her.

Hunter: Hey fishie —

She deleted the endearment, unsure he'd appreciate it after last night's conversation. She typed and deleted several more attempts before landing on something simple:

Hunter: Hi Rafayel. I'm awake.

The seconds ticked by, until finally "read" appeared next to her message. Several more agonizing seconds went by, turning into full minutes, until Hunter finally threw her phone and herself on the bed, muffling a shout of frustration into the mattress.

Ding. She snatched at her phone, looking to Rafayel's response:

Rafayel: I'm at the studio. Please meet me here when you're ready.

It felt like an icy bucket of water had been upended over her head. She didn't know what she expected him to respond, but it wasn't… this. Cold. Formal. Proper punctuation. None of the usual intonations of the Rafayel she was so familiar with. Was it because she had been so short in her message? Her thoughts spiraled, coming up with all sorts of reasons for the tone of his reply, from hopeful to hopeless. She decided to stop thinking about it, quickly dressing and fixing her appearance before shouldering her bag and toeing into her shoes, then headed out the door.

Her feet followed the familiar path to Mo so automatically she didn't realize she was already there until she was in front of the gate; her mind was still roiling a million miles an hour. She took a deep breath and let it hiss out between her teeth before pushing the gate open.

Except it was locked.

She pushed again—Rafayel never locked the outer gate. She was always giving him grief for never doing so. She squeezed her eyes shut, wincing at the implication, before entering the gate code, and thought that if that had changed, too, she might actually vomit. Relief flooded her body as the gate buzzed acquiescence, and she strode to the door with all the positive energy she could muster. She didn't want to consider that Rafayel would push her out of his life. This had to work.

Rafayel opened the door before she had fully reached the stoop. "Heya, Miss Bodyguard," he said, voice even. He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. His had been a long, exhausting night as well, and he hadn't slept. It was easier for him to go without, though it still tended to make him more vulnerable-feeling than he liked. He held the door open for her, gesturing for her to come inside. "I spent the evening finishing up the final touches for the exhibit. I thought we could go over everything to make sure it's ready, yeah?"

Hunter hesitated a millisecond before crossing over the threshold. Rafayel was being… weirdly normal? If it weren't for the fact that he couldn't meet her eyes, she'd almost think last night never happened. Had she been worried for nothing? "That's great, Raf! I'm excited to see how it's come together."

The next hour or so were spent ticking and tying everything together, and Hunter felt Rafayel slowly lowering his guard towards her again, his excitement to share the story of Lemuria outshining anything else on his mind. It made it all the more difficult to turn the conversation back to where she knew it needed to go.

Once they'd packed up the last of the pieces and marked them for Thomas to pick up, she finally turned to look at Rafayel, who was staring out the window, his gaze a thousand miles away, towards the sea. Her heart clenched. "Rafayel… can we… finish our conversation from last night?" she asked softly. She didn't want to make him feel cornered in his own space.

"No. Weeeell, I mean yes, we can, but I don't wanna talk about it anymore." Rafayel turned and looked at her, his gaze trailing up her familiar features and finally meeting her eyes. "I did a lot of thinking about it, cutie. I can… accept it. Learn to live with it, even. But you've gotta let me be angry, you know? You don't get to dictate how I deal with this." He shook his head.

Tears welled in Hunter's eyes and she let them slide unimpeded down her cheeks. "Rafayel…" she breathed his name, crossing the short distance between them and cupping his face with her hand, "I don't deserve you. Thank you. For… everything. For believing me, most of all." She sucked in a hiccuping breath. "Of course you are angry at me. I would never tell you how to feel. If you need, I can give you space. And… time." She was about to move back, give him distance again, when he pulled her into a catastrophically tender embrace, and she could no longer hold back the ugly, gasping sobs that escaped her.

Rafayel crushed Hunter to his chest, finally feeling whole again with her so close to him. He was still angry, still feeling the hurt and betrayal acutely, and possibly would for a long time. But he was also content. He had known for a long time that something was off between them, but now that he knew what—who—it was, he thought he might be able to make peace with it. He'd known for a long time that there were things he'd do for her that he'd never imagine doing for anyone else. Brushing a kiss to the top of her head, he pulled back, looking at her once more. "Okaaaay, enough of that. Let's get ready to meet this doctor of yours, yeah?"

They spent the rest of the day on the final touches for the exhibition. Then, in the delicate, gossamer twilight, they gave each other absolution.

************

Hunter had been pacing the lobby of the space Rafayel had chosen for the exhibition for the last 10 minutes, waiting for him to emerge from whatever last minute adjustments he was making. The large building was truly a work of art in itself—vaulted ceilings, marble floors, and art deco details on the windows and doors that juxtaposed themselves against the more classical elements, creating the sense of a building out of time.

She'd never felt more nervous in her life, and her thoughts were beginning to spiral out of control. Everything that had transpired over the past few weeks had been leading up to this moment. In a few minutes, Zayne would walk through that door and the trajectory of all of their lives would inexorably change.

Finally, Rafayel emerged from one of the side rooms, looking just about as anxious as she felt. "This is horrible, cutie. I'm in agony. I feel like I'm gonna be sick." He reached for her, and she closed the distance to gather him in her arms.

Hunter stood there with her arms around him as he leaned down to bury his head in the crook of her neck. He had been extra clingy since their conversation yesterday, and Hunter had indulged him. She knew that he was battling insecurity and doubt, and it still hurt to know she was the cause. "I know, I'm sorry, Rafayel," she said, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "If it helps, I feel the same way right now."

The sound of the door pulling open interrupted them and they broke apart. Hunter adopted a stance she hoped would look casual. Rafayel stood up straight but kept an arm wrapped around Hunter's waist. His eyes snapped to the door, watching as a tall, well-dressed man stepped with conviction into the building.

Zayne strolled through the lobby with a confidence he did not feel until he came to a stop in front of Hunter and Rafayel. The expertly honed iron grip on his composure was the only thing holding him together. As he forced himself to look Rafayel in the eye, nothing could have prepared him for the beauty he found there. Azure and pink swirled together, the inverse of the sea near daybreak; he couldn't help but stare into their depths in open awe, as within them Zayne caught for the briefest moment a kindred sense of infinite longing.

Rafayel's world stopped spinning the moment he met Zayne's gaze. Those eyes. A shiver went down his spine. They were a golden green, like the first thread that cut through the primordial depths. The first color pulled from nothing. Rafayel let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His doubts seemed to fade into the back of his mind. It was as if fate had ordained their meeting.

Hunter, who had been about to greet Zayne as he entered, remained quiet, observing them as they observed each other. She could feel an electric charge in the air as something shifted in their dynamic; they both seemed to let go of something intangible, but immense.

Eventually, though, someone had to break the silence, and Hunter knew neither man would want to be the first to do so. She cleared her throat and looked at Zayne first. "Zayne, this is Rafayel." Next, she turned to Rafayel beside her. "Rafayel, this is Zayne."

"Cutieeee, if I spent as much time earning a title as I know Doctor Zayne had, I'd insist on you introducing me with it, you know," Rafayel interjected, hoping for levity as he recovered from the initial shock of the sudden wave of yearning he felt after meeting Zayne's gaze. He extended his hand towards him, his other arm still wrapped around Hunter's waist. "Can't believe I finally get to meet Miss Bodyguard's mysterious doctor. I feel like I know aaaaall about you by now."

Zayne couldn't help ducking his head a bit as Rafayel insisted on the title, ears going slightly pink. "I assure you, the pleasure is mine. Admittedly, I find myself a little… awed to meet the enigmatic artist himself." He grasped Rafayel's hand in his and gave him an earnest handshake, the small boy in him who'd grown up on Lemurian legends quivering with excitement. He hoped he was keeping his expression impassive.

Hunter couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. "Enigmatic? I think you mean 'refuses to ever show his face at his own public exhibits.' There's no mystery there!" She said, her nerves pitching up her voice into something overly bright.

"Cutieee…" Rafayel grumbled, his ears going red.

She glanced between the two of them again and let out a squeal of delight. "Sorry, I just can't help it, my two favorite people in the world are finally in the same room together!" She grasped each one by a hand, and led them through the atrium into the gallery proper.

"To Lemurians, artistic pursuits aren't just about creating beautiful art, you know. It's about documenting life," Rafayel said, a rare instance of him explaining the reasoning behind the theme he'd chosen. He first walked to the stone murals that he and Hunter had restored. "These murals were carved into stone with the hope that their stories would survive the passage of time. It's a way to ensure that Lemuria can live on." Rafayel heard the words leaving his mouth as if spoken by someone else; the part of him he tamped down and repressed so he didn't have to feel the loneliness and longing for his home, his people.

As they progressed through the space, it became clear that the exhibition was set up to follow the story of Lemuria, from the oldest extant engravings and murals through to pieces Rafayel had personally painted. There were many different works: mosaics, sculptures, textiles, beadwork, photography, even music.

The pieces varied in tone and theme, but there was one subject that had an outsized presence throughout many of them: a woman often described as "the Sea God's Bride" whom Zayne felt looked remarkably similar to Hunter. He understood at once the hidden meaning Rafayel had included for him alone to see. Hunter belonged to him, as 'she' had belonged to Lemuria's legends since time immemorial. It made his heart clench; Hunter hadn't exaggerated. She was a part of Rafayel's story as much as she was a part of his own. He didn't know how he hadn't seen it before.

Rafayel watched Zayne walk slowly through the gallery, seemingly taking a brief tour to get a feel of the entirety of the exhibit before he circled back to the first room to take his time examining. He noticed that Zayne tended to peer more closely at the pieces that featured a certain woman. Good, he thought. Though now he felt less of the burning jealousy from before and more of that longing to be understood.

Zayne stopped short before a group of what looked like weathered stone bricks arranged as if to form a portion of wall, ancient beyond reckoning. Looking closer, he could see there was a fragmented inscription still visible. Studying the words, he took a breath in and began to translate aloud in hushed tones:

"His blood surged to form the oceans, His scales transformed into the stars above. His bones became the whales who bore the sun disc, the moon clams that measure time, the coral bridges that lead to the Netherworld."

"This is the creation myth, is it not?" He asked.

Rafayel's eyes snapped to Zayne; he was reading the Lemurian text, translating it flawlessly. And not only that, he knew the source. His lips parted slightly as he listened intently to Zayne, finding it difficult to swallow around a lump forming in his throat. The knowledge that there might be a population of humans learning and appreciating, but, most importantly, helping to keep his language alive caused a surge of emotion so profound it threatened to spill over. He understood now what drew Hunter to the doctor.

Tamping everything down, Rafayel conjured a smile to his face as he made a show of clapping, drawing Zayne's attention from the stones. "I have to admit, when Miss Bodyguard told me you were a Lemuria nerd, I expected someone into mermaids and seashells." Hunter swatted him, and he gave an unbothered shrug. "Buuuut I'm starting to think you're the real deal, yeah? It's been a long time since I've met a human who could read Lemurian." He was still staring at Zayne, a look of impressed awe apparent on his features, his head cocked to the side.

Zayne huffed out a slightly embarrassed laugh. "Unfortunately for you, I spent much of my youth and early schooling researching Lemuria and its history. It always drew me in, the tragedy of the Lemurian people—your people," he corrected himself. "I wanted to discover what had caused it, who had caused it. But my medical work soon took over." Finally, he looked over at Rafayel, who still had his gaze locked on him. Zayne met his eyes, and the briefest understanding passed between them.

Hunter's heart fluttered as she noticed Rafayel had begun to relax his grip on her and started turning his full attention to Zayne the longer they spoke to each other.

Finding his composure again, Zayne walked to the next piece; a composite sculpture of what appeared to be dried coral and reeds depicting the skeletal remains of a huge whale, its ribcage embracing small glittering stones arranged in a sunburst pattern radiating from where the heart should be. The piece brought to mind the foundation myth of Lemuria's capitol, Whalefall City.

“It’s said…" Zayne began quietly, glancing sidelong at Rafayel, who gave him a nod to go on, "that the first Sea God’s mount fell during a catastrophe, and its corpse sank to the depths of the ocean. The Lemurians then built an underwater city around its skeleton.”

"Careful, Doctor," Rafayel said, a lazy smile spreading across his face. "If you keep showing off like that, I might not be able to keep my composure."

Zayne's eyes widened, then blinked rapidly as he looked away, ears burning. He couldn't quite tell if Rafayel was legitimately irritated by him continuing to practically give him a lecture on his own culture or… something else.

Hunter couldn't stop the snort of laughter that escaped her at Zayne's bewildered expression. She forgot what it was like to experience the full power of Rafayel's charms for the first time. "Be nice, Rafayel," she said, noticing that he had fully extricated himself from her. She took a step back and continued to observe their interaction.

They moved through the exhibition spaces, Zayne and Rafayel discussing the pieces Zayne gravitated towards. Hunter noticed Zayne had relaxed his posture somewhat, no longer holding himself so rigidly, and Rafayel was continuing to test how much he could provoke him with his comments. She felt a sense of satisfaction at being right: they did get along. Perhaps even more than she expected.

Suddenly, a loud alert sounded from her hunter's watch; an urgent communication from Captain Jenna ordering her squad to meet at a rendezvous point for an emergency debriefing on a sudden metaflux fluctuation causing wanderer attacks in a nearby residential area. Hunter glanced between Rafayel and Zayne, a grimace on her face. "I need to go. Will you two be okay here without me? I'll be back as soon as I can."

Zayne answered without hesitation. "Of course. They need you." The tightness in his jaw was the only sign of his reluctance to see her go. "Please be careful."

"I guess I have no choice but to relinquish my body guard for a few hours," Rafayel chimed in with an overly dramatic sigh. He closed the distance between them again and placed a kiss on her cheek. "We can take care of ourselves, cutie."

Hunter glanced between them again one last time before deciding. "Okay, then. Promise to be nice to each other," she said, then hurried out of the room.

They both watched her as she disappeared around the corner. The silence stretched between them for an agonizing minute before Zayne cleared his throat. "Shall we continue?"

"That's up to you, Doctor. This is my show—I've already seen it all." Rafayel grinned at him as he gestured towards the various pieces on display.

Something about the way Rafayel kept referring to him like that made his pulse jump each time in a way he couldn't quite account for. "Please, call me Zayne. There's no need to use my title."

"A humble man of the people," Rafayel said, a smirk on his lips. "Okiedokie, Zayne, lead the way."

Zayne chose not to react and instead moved into the adjoining room. This space held Rafayel's own paintings, and his eye was immediately drawn to the one he had purposely avoided acknowledging in his first pass of the exhibition. It depicted a brilliantly blue sea with cascading white waves, the edges stained crimson.

"I recognize this painting. It was the source of a wanderer attack at the home of an ex-patient of mine," Zayne began. "I happened to be there when the attack occurred. Hunter reacted strangely to the painting afterwards."

"Raymond, wasn't it?" Rafayel asked with feigned indifference.

"Yes, that's correct." Zayne said, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Rafayel noticed his tone and felt himself relaxing ever so slightly. "How well did you know him?"

Zayne worked his jaw. "Too well. He wanted to recruit me for a research project." A subtle anger flashed in his eyes for a moment as he held Rafayel's gaze. "I refused."

Rafayel let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding at the admission. "Good. I was afraid that this meeting of ours might have a different ending, you know?" His smile revealed too many teeth. "I don't play nice with EVER's pets."

Zayne acknowledged Rafayel's meaning with a muttered hmm. He would need to learn more about Rafayel and his motivations before he could bring himself to reveal anything concrete. But he had a suspicion they might have more in common here, too. "I tend to agree," was all he said.

They continued discussing the paintings Rafayel had selected, dancing around certain subjects and focusing on others. Zayne felt a pull back towards the first room with the ancient Lemurian artifacts and made his way back there. Certain pieces of information seemed to be falling into place for him, arranging themselves in the shape of something like a revelation. He turned to face Rafayel.

"You're... Him, aren't you?" Zayne asked, his eyes searching Rafayel's. He couldn't bring himself to elaborate; the reality of the actual Sea God standing in front of him almost too fantastical to speak aloud, but he knew that Rafayel would understand the truth of his question if his suspicions were correct.

Rafayel swallowed, then nodded. There was a weight to the question that he couldn't quite account for. The way Zayne was seeking something other than a simple fact. Understanding, maybe? It seemed to Rafayel that he was also carrying a profound burden. Something heavy and unbearable that he wasn't allowed to set down.

The sudden realization threatened to break him. Here was someone who not only might truly understand, but also truly feel the depths of his grief, his longing. The agony of carrying a yoke you had no choice but to bear. The weight of responsibility for an entire population. The decisions you had to make because no one else could. And living with the outcome, knowing no one but you made it so.

He felt small then, an incomprehensible feeling of desolation threatening to consume him. Grief for himself that he’d never allowed himself to feel. A kindred spirit? He never thought he'd be in the presence of someone who knew. He understood now why Hunter was so adamant about them meeting. She was the one to bring color back into his life. And Zayne might be the one to bring healing.

Something shifted, allowing both men to drop the barriers they hid behind, if only for this moment. They talked for a long while. About topics almost beyond mortal comprehension. Subjects they never thought they'd be able to discuss. It was a catharsis. Two men, unwavering as the cosmos, allowed themselves, if only for a moment, to waver.