Irandial Wintoris

You return to your little apartment. Alone, tired, depressed, and soaked to the very bone.

Your date, James, had ditched you out of nowhere. Standing in front of the building for over an hour and waiting for him to pick you up as agreed upon a few days ago. You’d even set multiple precautions, so you didn't mess up like last time.

On your own desk calendar, your phone’s integrated calendar, and entries in the game’s "Remind me" feature. This time, in every one of the Love Interests, and not only in Caleb’s notebook, which he accepted with an unsatisfied grumble. At least you think it was such a reaction. Or maybe you started seeing things for real this time, because why would a fictional bunch of pixels be upset about you dating a co-worker? A perfect opportunity to bring up your New Year's resolution and start to spend less time in the game, you thought at that point. The recent interactions with Caleb turned awkward anyway, feeling too real for your liking. So you decided to take a break from your source of comfort for a while. Only to now be reminded why you started to prefer the company of pixels over people in the first place. Human beings lead to disappointment and hurt, and you have been made aware of that once more.

You were so sure that James had a crush on you, given much he asked to be your partner in projects, or how he always wanted to spend lunch breaks together.

With a heavy sigh, you open the apartment door and leave your shoes and jacket at the entry. The rest of your drenched clothes also vanish as you go to jump into the shower. The hot water, paired with your freely falling tears, is doing a little miracle, and half an hour later, you’re huddled up in your bed, ready to open the game after a few days of not playing at all. You even resisted doing your dailies, something you deeply regret now.

And there he is, the only man who will never betray or disappoint you: Caleb. He’s like a ray of sunshine on this rainy day. He sits on the bright chair in the cafe, scrolling through a floating digital screen, seemingly busy with some fleet thing according to his outfit. The white colonel uniform, which you are pretty proud of finally obtaining, shines bright in the soft lighting of the Cafe.

You can’t wait to hear some comforting words from him and tap at his broad figure.

Nothing happens.

Huh?

Weird. Is your touch screen buggy so that Caleb doesn’t respond to it?

You see the taps from the little cursor animation, but the brown-haired man isn’t reacting. You tap on your profile, and a second later it opens, and you close it again. So it does work!

You tap at Caleb. „Come on, Colonel. You can’t be that busy...“ You think you see a short glance in your direction, but nothing more. Long fingers are still glued to that damn floating screen.

„Caleeeb...“ you whine, now frustrated. „I really need you...“ you mumble with a weak and pained voice. Why isn’t he reacting?

And tears start to flow again as the memory comes back, of how you stood in the rainstorm. Without an umbrella, and how your neighbors and other passersby gave you those curious and pitiful looks. You still don’t understand why James didn’t appear, or why he didn’t answer your messages. You feel miserable, unwanted. And not even a damn bunch of pixels on a screen wants to talk to you.

But at your last words, Caleb finally stops and gets up from his chair, and walks over to stand in front of you. His eyes were wide and worried. The purple and pink focused on you, watching, confused how the tears stream down your face.

„Why are you crying, pips?“ His voice is all soft and tender, and it feels like balsam to your bleeding heart. You are so happy that he finally recognizes you that you don’t even question this unusual interaction. Or how he seems to notice your emotional state.

Through your sobs and hiccups, you start to tell him everything that happened, and how brokenhearted you feel.

His big hand reaches out, like he wanted to head pat you or caress your cheek, maybe. And as he realizes he can’t, his chapped lips turn into a tight and forced smile, the galaxy-like eyes looking even more hurt, but also seem to hide a dark underlying shadow. „I’m sorry, pip-squeak. Please, don’t cry. Boys who make you cry aren’t worth your time or affection. This James-Guy doesn’t deserve a single one of your tears if he dares to be a no-show.“

„I know that, you dummy, “ you sniffle. „But unfortunately, falling in love with a man made of pixels has no future, and I wanted somebody to love me back, to take care of me. Someone who makes me breakfast on a Sunday morning and wakes me up by bringing it to my bed.“

At your words, his eyes went wide, surprised and full of disbelief. „You... Love.. Me?“ and then without giving you the chance to answer „I can make you breakfast! I will take care of you! I will wake you up with the most delicious things if it is what you want!“ and after a heartbeat of gazing at you with so much yearning that it makes your heart stop in its tracks, he mumbles, „And I like you too. Maybe a little more than you realize...“

Finally, those last words cut through the daze you’ve fallen into, and the world seems to freeze around you. Time stands still, and the only thing you hear is your own erratic beating heart, and the heavy breaths of Caleb, which sound from the speakers as he waits for your reaction while nervously watching your every move.

Then your brain finally processes what just happened, and in a panic, you throw the mobile to the other end of your bed, where it slides off the edge and lands with a thud on the floor.

No way, Caleb casually talked to you! Noticed your tears! And hell, he confessed his feelings to you!

For a few minutes, you can only sit there, paralyzed, trying not to hyperventilate and faint from the shock, eyes glued to where the device slid off your bed.

How is this even possible? He is not real. It’s a game for heaven’s sake!

Then you hear him calling your name, his voice echoing distorted from the floor, but you are still able to recognize the anxiety in there. Caleb sounds extremely worried.

„Pips? Please, don’t panic! It’s alright! Let me explain! Pick up the phone!”

“The heroine walked out of the pages right into my life.”

A tiny smile tugs at your lips at his words. Caleb always has this effect on you, but it turns into a heavy sigh right after. “If only I could really walk into your life…” you mumble longingly.

But he’s just a collection of colorful pixels in a game, a very handsome bunch of pixels but nonetheless not real. The brown-haired man with the astonishing purple and pink eyes has caught your heart, even if he’s only a virtual character in your favorite game and nothing will ever change that.

Another heavy sigh escapes your lips and depressed you start the tête-à-tête sequence to talk with him a little more. You are aware it’s all scripted, and you heard those words so often, but you can’t stop tapping and let him say it over and over again. It’s the only comfort you have for the yearning in your heart. And today is a terrible day when you wish even more you had him in your life and that he cares for you.

Caleb immediately stands up from the chair in Destiny Café to walk towards the screen once you start the feature. But something is different today. Without doing an interaction on your side he bends down, soft eyes observing you with so much tenderness, your heart skips several beats.

“You meant that, pip-squeak?”

Your breath hitches and your heart stops for a second before it hammers against your ribs again. “What?” you stutter. Was that a reaction to your words? Did he actually hear you?

With widened eyes you stare at your screen, observing every little movement of Caleb, anything that would prove you didn’t just hallucinate. But he doesn’t say anymore, only waiting in that default stance you know so well. Even if you think you see a tiny smirk on his lips. But you’re not sure if you see that right or if you only want to see it.

You glide along his cheek with your finger, and his gaze follows you curiously. “I need you, Caleb, you don’t know how much…” you sigh, suppressing a tear.

His eyes snap back to you and for a second it seems he had heard you. But that can’t be. You furrow your brow. It… Just can’t… Right?

As nothing more happens, you continue to tap through the buttons as usual. Choosing one option you tell him that your life sucks at the moment. And he reacts exactly like always, and you start to relax to his words and familiar gestures. Maybe you’re exhausted and had imagined it or read too much into it.

And just like that, his words start to repeat, and you tap the “I’ll have to go” button.

“I’m here whenever you need me.” comes his direct response, bending close to you once more.

Surprised you blinked a few times. Is this also new? Or maybe you abused that feature a little too much these last few days and the system has noted this, and you triggered a new response or so. You don't know how all this stuff works. Or you really start seeing things now.

A few days later, you set a date with your new co-worker in the in-game calendar. Since this function has made its way into the game, you note every appointment, every important date there. Mostly because you have the game open at every moment anyway. But secretly, you love to be reminded by Caleb that there’s something essential coming up. It feeds into your delusion that he cares, that he supports you. And in addition, your memory is short-lived when it comes to appointments.

So you are shocked when you miss the day of your first date in months. It should have been yesterday and Caleb didn’t remind you as usual. You take a look at the little notebook he fills with notes about your things, there’s nothing about the dinner you’re invited by your handsome co-worker. Weird you think. And you’re sure you set it to “Date with Jason” at 7pm. But you search through all sides and entries—nothing.

“Caleb… Where is my entry for that date?” you mumble, more to yourself than to the tall brown brown-haired man that’s looking at you through the screen of your phone.

And for a second you see him smiling satisfied and his purple-pink eyes twinkling with mischief. But it’s gone in a blink and you may also be imagining it.

That’s when you get a message from your co-worker.

📲James: Since yesterday didn’t work, do you want to go this weekend? I'll pick you up at eight, how’s that sound?”

Of course, you do! And giggling, you answer him with a written response and return to the game right after.

Caleb is still standing there, watching you. But now his arms are crossed in front of his chest and the Gate he gives you lets the hair on your neck straighten in alarm.

He doesn’t look happy and as you tap at the “Remind Me” icon nothing happens.

“What?” you huff. Irritated, you frantically smash your finger into that icon. But in vain, the notebook doesn't open. Instead, Caleb moves closer to the screen, bending down and looking at you with the same hurt puppy eyes he normally does when he predicted your period wrong.

“Really, Pip-squeak? You want to meet another guy? Don’t you need me anymore?”