This is my Design

hold a cold rag/tissue to your eyes and anywhere else that tends to get red or blotchy for two minutes

Pat dry your face - DONT rub. It will agitate the skin and make it red again.

new discourse

the past: clown funny

waiter: sir, we just caught a customer stealing fish

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

reblog for good things to happen to you

Please please