Prudent Bear Likes Marmalade

You used to log onto the internet and find out it was peanut butter jelly time. Not any more.

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

Cops are here.

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

so many people don't understand how abelist it is to kill your brother with a rock

i feel like one singular sesame seed. in this big wide world.

four line sentences are good and okay. its cool. you dont need to end your setnence or that thought! add another comma or an em dash. everything will be okay. it makes sense and flows well. #awesome #mybehemothsentence

sofas are not for sitting on idiot. you fool. you worm. they're for piling Items (Things, Objects, Miscellania) on and beholding it with sadness and saying 'i wish i could sit down'

taking my jestosterone bc i’m a fool

you shoulda seen the size of those rooms, man, it was like, floor to ceiling

really fucking sucks that the only ways to get into space are to be a genius scientist or to have one William dollars. they should just take me to the ISS for a week because I'm a fun guy