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❝ Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, at your service. ❞

( DC comics, Lil’ Gotham continuity. )

introducing a quintessential butler figure in media: alfred pennyworth!

extremely british.

always seen in sharp tuxedos or suits. a+ in professionalism, here.

may or may not have been aligned with the british military in the past. her majesty’s royal navy? sas? we may never know.

he’s the batler™ ! ( pun on butler, just replaced the u with an a - like the url. )

keeps house for a man who adopts like 79 kids and goes off to fight crime every night cosplaying as a bat. at this point, did you think being apped into isola would phase him?

if you get him as a roommate, you’re lucky. he can do a lot of things: cook, clean do your taxes-

we stan a sassy but kind duality. he is the king of highly polite, yet sarcastic comments.

needs a vacation. badly. also, a raise wouldn’t hurt.

#⏱ ( out of character. )#isola follow #offers you a butler offers you a butler offers you a-

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event info.

Mask Option 1: Prime Earth Alfred ( aka Mainstream Alfred ). Ex- military, Ex-Mi5. Absolute lad. A god at cooking. May or may not have died. Oh yeah, he died didn’t he...

Mask Option 2: New Earth Alfred ( aka Mainstream Alfred until 2011 ). Ex-military, ex- Mi5 and MI7. Still a god at cooking. Luckily, DC didn’t kill him off in this continuity.

#i return from the grave to give you the alfreds that ive always wanted to rp #⏱ ( out of character. )#shameless excuse to use these icons? heck YEAH

robot dad...

#ROBOT DAD.........#⏱ ( out of character. )#TBD.

❝Here’s a fun little English fact! “Defenestration” means to throw someone out of a window. Sometimes I wish I could do that to Master Bruce.❞

He’s kidding, right?

...right?

#isola mini #⏱ ( in character. )#english is... YES.#anyways because i learned a new word you guys should too

vinylhelper:

[I do not understand?]

❝Uh... I-It’s a play on words. A pun, if you will. Youths on the streets sometimes refer to each other as “dog”, and then they ask “what is up, dog” as a greeting. I was merely trying to see if someone would fall for and let an old man have a few laughs.❞

#⏱ ( in character. )#vinylhelper #GOOD JOB ALFRED.

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vinylhelper:

[Updog does not exist in my records. What is updog?]

Uh-oh. You’ve forced his hand, Baymax. ❝Not much, my good fellow! What is up with you?❞

#PLACES MY HEAD IN MY HANDS #⏱ ( in character. )#vinylhelper

bliight:

“I am not falling for that one again!”

❝Alright, so the whole “updog” thing has been done to death. Luckily, that was merely a jest. I’ve got something much better.❞ Dramatic pause. ❝How do trees feel in the spring? Releaved.❞

#bliight #⏱ ( in character. )

❝If I may be so bold, you don’t look so well. You look like you have a definite case of updog.❞

#isola mini #⏱ ( in character. )#of course alfred tells dad jokes what are u talking about

i-was-just-fifteen:

From @batlertm ‘s Open Starter!

“Eh, guess it could be worse,” She shrugged. Honestly, she kind found herself here mostly by accident, leaning on a wall, talking with someone she didn’t know. Then again, she supposed she was kind of stuck here in Isola, so gathering a small circle of allies could benefit her…

“Could be another city wide mess to clean up. I don’t even get paid for that.”

But as for all the sun, socializing, and shenanigans of Spiralefes… you can say she wasn’t a massive fan of it.

Alfred wasn’t expecting an actual conversation to come from his out-loud thoughts. True, this could be worse, theoretically. However, for the time being...? This was the worst possible thing. ❝I suppose... But still, I am not privy to these type of festivals. Lord only knows that someone’s going to end up hurt. I know that someone will end up “partying too hard”, as the youth say, and do themselves a major disservice.❞ Alfred lives with a guy who maintains a playboy image, after all. He just knows it’ll happen. He would be willing to bet on it - and Alfred wasn’t a chap who liked to bet.

❝...Oh. That... is exactly what I am afraid of.❞ Cleaning up a mansion is hard enough. Imagine a WHOLE CITY.

#oh this is fantastic! thank u ;;#⏱ ( in character. )#i-was-just-fifteen 01.

❝While I don’t have any siblings of my own, I’m sure all of the Masters children, adopted or otherwise, would LOVE to contribute to this conversation if they were here.❞ For sanity’s sake, Alfred is glad that they aren’t.

#alfred lives in a house with bruce's 79 kids #⏱ ( dash commentary. )#⏱ ( in character. )

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roleplayers-ink

A quick and easy plotting guide

Send me ✔ and I will bold my preferences for your muse!

My muse(s):

Do I know your muse(s): yes | no | a little | tell me about your muse

Pre-established relationships? yes | no | depends on the relationship

#⏱ ( ask memes. )

❝Ah, the summer festival... activity. I am not privy to loud noises and roguish behavior that tends to come with events like these. Alas, I have no choice but to participate.❞ Alfred, being a uptight British introvert would rather be by himself and read books alone, with some ambient classical music in the background. With a city as weird as Spirale, though, Alfred knew that most likely... he would be pulled into the adventures whether he liked it or not. Holding a glass of water ( pinky extended of course ), the butler sips at it and tries to muse - over the loud noise of excited people.

❝ It takes all of my willpower for Master Bruce to get some sunshine. He would hate it here. Everyone celebrating summer? The scorching heat? Being forced to socialize? Good lord, he wouldn’t be able to function. So, naturally, I am suffering in his place.❞

Voice dripping with British sarcasm. Yep. Alfred’s having a great time, guys.

#sometimes i use this blog to complain about how a playboy vigilante acts #alfred deals with this on the daily #⏱ ( in character. )#isola open #spiralefes2021

what is your tarot card?

The Empress.

You are only independent insofar as you have others to care for. This makes you dependent in your independence. They want your knowledge, your skills, your talents, your affection. What can they give in return? “Teeth” is not an acceptable answer, nor is “keeping the shadows to the corners”, nor is “glory”, nor is “love”. There is no acceptable answer, no gift of a magnitude which can match the thing you know, which is that they are taking from you. They are stealing from you. You should stop them from doing that, darling. You only have so much to give. You are not infinite, and when they have taken their last they will remind you of that. My advice is this: give enough to keep them at bay, but be careful. Their teeth can turn on you too. There is no easier way to make an animal dangerous than by feeding it.

#⏱ ( dash memes. )#⏱ ( headcanons. )#mome i mcfriggin hate it here

nascentchaos:

“Nonono, I’m fine! See?” She strikes a pose. How this is any indication of whether or not she is fine remains to be seen. Or not. Is that going to bruise? “Really. Thank you, but I get hurt all the time so this is nothing. I can still party..!”

Alfred... is suspicious. However, he feels like he should give her the benefit of the doubt. ❝Ah, well, um... If you’re so sure, miss.❞ How would a pose indicate her wellbeing...? Oh, whatever. ❝You’re quite welcome. If may be so bold, you certainty will bring your own life to whatever party this is! ❞

#nascentchaos #⏱ ( in character. )

❝My, my. I hear talk of a “summer festival”. Am I to assume there will be young women at this event? Poor Master Bruce. Missing out on a change to meet even more lady-friends?❞

❝Actually, maybe it’s a good thing he’s missing out on this.❞

#⏱ ( dash commentary. )#⏱ ( in character. )#whatever bruce pays alfred clearly isnt enough

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nascentchaos:

“It’s summer! I’ve got my hat on backwards and I’m ready to heckin’ party! –Ow…” She hit her head.

❝Are you alright?❞ What an unfortunate event. Partying too hard ended up in a tumble! Alfred happened to oversee the accident, and his concern rises. ❝That looked like a nasty fall there. Do you need help?❞

#i hope you dont mind!#alfred sees someone hurt and his Need to Help levels go 📈📈📈#⏱ ( in character. )

❝Oh, were we not just talking about fashion? My personal attire consists of my uniform as I am a full-time butler and a gentleman. Why, you wouldn’t catch me in anything else on the job, or so help me. I am hardly one to turn to for advice in the matter, but I bet Master Bruce would paint a better picture, if he were here.❞

#we get it alfred you're a stiffy british butler #⏱ ( in character. )#⏱ ( dash commentary. )#isola mini

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