you don't even know

prince charles if you’re reading this there will never be a funnier time to die than right now

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

“This strain of weed has a fruity smell” “this strain smells like roses” my brother in Christ it smells like weed

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

if im ever terminally online it’s because im avoiding a blank word document like the plague

yeah i got ADHD, admirin dose’ huge doinkers

Boob staring is an ADHD thing and brother, I'm about to start hyperfocusing

"there's no wrong way to consume a piece of media" yes there is

Yeah that’s why they made Switch cartridges taste bad.