Bastion LeFrey

         School wasn’t as important to all of the Foxes as it was to him. Although a few of the Vixens and Foxes cared about schoolwork, there were some that struggled with it. Henry personally was thankful for a chance to go to a university instead of being trapped with his dad for two years while he was at community college. Thankfully, Palmetto had given him an out from that life. He put effort into his schoolwork because he knew he couldn’t handle the thought of being kicked out of school because of his grades. At least it wasn’t costing him that much with the athletic scholarship and it being a state school for him. Sometimes, thinking about essays was just too much to think about when he wanted to focus on reading the books instead of analyzing them. Still, he did love his major more than anything.

         Henry made himself an impossible to know Fox for the most part. He wasn’t one of those that was unlucky enough to have tons of articles on them online. Honestly, his family wasn’t that important, even if his dad wanted them to be. However, all that most people knew about him was that he was an English major that liked to read. He tried to make himself seem boring because well, the most he got to know people, the easier it was for them to learn things about himself he was trying to hide. Henry had a lot of secrets. “Oh, yeah. It’s an essay due in a couple of weeks. Trying to build the foundation of it so I can just type it out closer to the date with no issues.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Uh, not really that interesting. It’s on writers of the 1920s and 30s.”  

Bastion was an attentive listener. His eyes never dulled when people spoke to him and he seemed genuinely interested in any conversation he had. It was somewhat natural and somewhat learned. People tended to zone out when he spoke and he hated seeing that blank look that meant they no longer had any interest in speaking to him. So he made sure he never gave anyone that feeling. It wasn't hard. Bastion yearned for contact with other people and even if he had little interest or knowledge on the topic, he was interested in communicating with others.

"That's smart," he offered with a self depreciating laugh as he continued. "I'm not that good at planning things out like that. I usually just get my information and write out the essay from beginning to end. Its terrible, of course," another chuckle. "I always have to rewrite it."

“Coffee is the only way I can pay attention in class,” Jen admits with a sheepish grin. “Or, in this case, it’s getting me out of class, I guess.” It’s a bad habit when they don’t have the spare money to spend on coffees between class, so they try to use the machine in the cafeteria as much as possible, but it’s nothing compared to a special holiday drink. 

Jen falls into step with Bastion as they head for the coffee shop on campus. It’s early enough that the campus is still relatively silent, and that’s one of Jen’s favorite things about early mornings–when it’s so quiet and deserted that life almost feels like a dream. Things are a little more bustling in the coffee shop though, where students are eager to get their pre-class coffee. They hold the door open for Bastion before following him inside. “What’s your favorite?” They ask as they get in line. “I always go for the real sugary ones. Like a peppermint mocha.”

Bastions mood held. His grin a permanent feature on his face, but he couldn't help it. He was in a good mood. Still dressed in his running clothes and standing beside one of the vixen's. Bas was always looking to befriend anyone from the team or squad and even if he felt guilty for making Jen skip class, his happiness at the friendly conversation overrode that. It was selfish but he didn't let that fact dull his mood. 

         Being surrounded by books would always put Henry in a good mood. He could live in a library and be happy—and as much of a joke as that was, it wasn’t far from the truth when he went home. His room at Palmetto didn’t have as much space for all his books, however, he still had a decent chunk of them because of his major. Reading would always be his happy place. Thus, his decision to be an English major. Being a junior meant that he was finally not in general education classes and he made a point of making this his first semester without the pesky math classes have some of the more fun and interesting literature classes, like science fiction in writing. Of course, he still had other more boring classes sprinkled in as well. He was trying to do his best to do well in his classes. Henry didn’t want any reason to lose his scholarship and have to go back home, but at least that was enough motivation to do well.

         When he was in the zone, he barely noticed his surroundings, so when more people showed up, he didn’t notice until he was at a stopping point in his work. Stopping meant having to deal with the real world and Henry avoided that as much as possible. He didn’t want to think about all the horrible things in his life, so he read, and did schoolwork, and he ignored his emotions. It was easier that way to feel whole, something he hadn’t felt in such a long time. Sometimes coming back to the real world and not the fantasy ones in his book was a jarring experience. He needed something grounding, like friends and Exy, otherwise he’d have to think about all those thoughts that made him feel like floating away. Henry wanted to be able to handle everything the way that everyone else did. Everyone struggled with something, but half the time it seemed that everyone was better equipped to handle their problems since half the time he wouldn’t even acknowledge his own.

         He wasn’t sure how long had passed since his last class. Time seemed to move strangely when he worked or read. So when he finally got to a place that seemed like a good start to the essay, Henry figured a break was necessary. Luckily, he spotted Bastion just as intrusive thoughts began to enter his mind and the other Fox pulled him back to reality—or at least a place where he could focus on someone else for some time instead of himself. “Don’t worry about it,” he smiled, leaning back in his chair. “It’s not a bother at all, trust me.”

Bastion grinned as he took the offered seat and settled himself across from his teammate. His bag took the prestigious place on the ground beside his chair. His school work was still locked within, the promise and threat of his essay waiting inside. But just now he didn't worry about it overmuch. It was the purpose to his staying in the coffee shop but he figured it could wait a few moments. 

He didn't know Henry very well yet. He was still new to the team and he'd been too self conscious when he'd first arrived to reach out. It was something he'd gotten through lately, mostly at least. He still felt the fear of not being accepted but his need for companionship had won out. And he'd made it his own personal mission to befriend as many foxes and vixens as he could. "You look like your hard at work." He gestured to the supplies laid out before his teammate. "Anything interesting?" He was grappling for a topic, hoping to get some conversation out of Henry before they both turned to his work and he knew that.

“We all know you scored a goal tonight Indigo, but you started playing exy as a goalkeeper. How are you dealing with the switch to striker?”

   Considering that Bastion’s roughing up hadn’t even been the worst injury on the team that night ( and, after all, their captain had been sitting out due to a previous injury ), Indi was not surprised at all about the way Bastion handled the reporter’s question. Still, his energy seemed off, but somehow, this only encouraged Indigo to be more dazzling. 

   “Oh!” Indigo smiled, hands pressing together. This was a question she was excited about. “It’s the best. I worked so hard, honestly, just to get to be a striker for the Foxes. I haven’t stopped pushing all season. It’s just… it’s super nice to all of that effort paying off. It’s the best feeling feeling in the world.”

   Perhaps it was uncouth to be so vibrant as she spoke of the game, especially after a loss. Trying to compensate for Bastion’s subdued nature while trying to be on best behavior for the press had created some odd, peppy side of Indi that wouldn’t normally be present after a loss. “Now, we just need to win,” She added, almost cheekily, just before the reporter turned away and back to Bastion. She chuckled in response. 

   “Bastion, I’m sure you second your teammates notion about the win. In your opinion, do you think the team is struggling due to your Captain being injured?” 

"Grants absence is definitely felt. We all wish our captain a quick recovery but it's better that he take the time that he needs to fully recover. We can't lay the blame of our loss tonight on his injury alone." Bastion’s voice was clear as he spoke. It carried through the room without him having to raise it. And even though he believed what he was saying neither his tone nor expression changed.

"We played well, but tonight it wasn't enough. In our next game it will be." There was a spark there. It might have been determination or defiance but even that fleeting flash was the most genuine emotion he had shown since being sentenced to face the press. He felt absurdly proud of himself for. Even though Bastion was not resisting the pleasant mask he was glad that something real had been able to rise so far beneath it. It felt like a victory.

   The day thus far had been an emotional roller-coaster, leaving the ever energetic Indigo feeling drained and fatigued. Being sent out to face the press used to be something she anticipated, eager for the attention and the chance to shine; but today, she felt like she was lacking enthusiasm, her capacity for feelings already depleted. She’d trained hard, her friend got hurt, she’d gotten a scoring goal, they’d lost — now, it was time to paint a smile on her face. 

   Bastion’s strange change in demeanor wasn’t lost on Indigo, who watched him curiously as they made their way to the door. She knew that she, too, must seem off, though her abnormality in behavior genuinely just came from exhaustion; mentally and physically. 

  “Yeah, I guess,” Indigo responded flatly, wishing for a moment that he was his normal self, so she could bounce off of his usually chipper personality. Apparently, it would be her who had to push herself to be the smiling face. 

   Making eye contact with the reporter, Indigo willed herself into action, and smiled brightly, leaning forward as she spoke. “Thank you. Yeah, those 4 points are very important. That’s our focus right now. Scoring one? Um…” Indigo’s smile turned a bit more genuine, pride in her eyes. As much as she wanted to applaud herself and feel that small victory, it wasn’t fair to the rest of the team. “Honestly, it’s amazing, duh, but it only happened because Bastion set it up so well.” 

   It was a natural transition into the reporter turning her hawk eyes onto him now. “Yes, and Bastion, you were on the end of some brutality, weren’t you? How is your arm doing after the game?”

Bastion had to suppress a wince at Indigo's hesitation. He hid it well, his expression holding that pleasant falseness. His posture was perfect, his chin raised like he'd been taught. But something about Indigo's energy reassured him. The stammer, the casual tone, the energy, it reminded him that he wasn't standing next to his parents. He had a teammate at his side instead. He didn't show his relief but he made a mental note to thank Indigo for being herself afterwards. 

 "I appreciate your concern, but it's not necessary. My arm is fine now." His voice was even and formal, just warm enough to be polite. But in stark contrast from his usual loud cheerfulness. "I'll admit that it wasn't the most pleasant part of my night." His small smile didn't waver at the scattered laughs for his almost joke. He just waited until the few chuckles had quieted before continuing. "Exy is a violent sport. We all understand that." He neglected to mention his old injury even though he knew it was covered publicly. Anyone looking could find the article but didn't like talking about it, especially given his current company.

Date: March 15th

Status: closed to @skiesindigo

This was the first time Bastion had to face press duty. He knew that two of his teammates had to be sacrificed to it after ever game, but he’d somehow managed to escape it all session. He hadn’t thought much of it besides passive gratitude for his luck. Only now, that luck seemed to have abandoned him. Or more likely, it was simply his turn to face the firing line. But he felt like he needed to blame something and cursing luck made him feel less guilty then cursing Wymack. 

The backliner’s posture was perfect even underneath his gear. His face was blank. Even with the tension radiating off of him his lips were relaxed, his brow smooth. Perhaps for someone else the expression might have seemed calm, but on Bastion it looked different. It was as if all that cheerful light he usually carried around had suddenly drained from his eyes, leaving them looking dull and shadowed. The shuttered expression didn’t change until he reached the door to the press room. It took two tries before he got his lips upturned into a polite smile. It was small and false, but it turned his expression into a mask. It was a practiced thing, empty but pretty. 

“Ready?” Bastion asked his teammate, but he didn’t wait long before opening the door. He knew that if he procrastinated anymore he wouldn’t be able to go out there. He’d always hated reporters. When he was younger at least he’d had a reason. Now, he shouldn’t be halfway to trembling apart as he took his spot in front of the wolves. But the conditioning was too much a part of him and his expression stayed reserved and polite as he met the camera flashes with that little lie of a smile. 

As the first report stepped up to the mic, she focused her attention directly on Indigo. It was selfish but Bastion was grateful, his hands fiddling nervously from safely under the table were they couldn’t be seen. 

"My condolences for losing the game but you'll still be taking 4 points away from it. Indigo, how does it feel knowing you scored one of those goals?"

“It’s not your fault,” Jen reassures him quickly, hoping to get that sad look off his face. They should be more worried, and they should just go to class nearly twenty minutes late instead of getting coffee, but it just feels like a waste of time when they know they’re going to spend the remaining minutes in class with their head in the clouds. They’re procrastinating…again, and this time they’re doing it by not even showing up. “I slept through my alarm, and I was late already,” They explain with a sheepish shrug. 

“So, is that a yes?” Jen asks hopefully, both because they really need caffeine, and it would be nice to hang out with the Fox, since they never really got the chance to get to know him. Meeting the new Foxes has been…a little awkward, having to explain that they used to be a Fox, but they quit to become a Vixen. Nobody seems to really get why Jen made that choice, and lately they’re starting to wonder if they even get it themself. 

His smile returned, if still a bit shy in the way only one side of his lips quirked up. Bastion still felt bad about holding the vixen up, but he was selfish enough to accept the out presented to him. He was always trying to befriend the foxes and vixens. Maybe this time he should have let the opportunity go by, what with Jen needing to get to class. But, if they were already late enough that they didn’t want to show, then he would take them up on the offer. “Yea. If your really sure about it, than I’d love to get some coffee.” He rubbed at the back of his neck but offered a small chuckle at his own awkwardness. “I need another cup before morning practice anyway. It keeps me from slumping after me run.”

Cade hardly cared either way whether or not he paid for his drink or the other covered it. A few dollars weren’t much to Cade but he knew it could be for other people. If Bastion wanted to buy the coffee and was adamant about it, Cade wasn’t going to argue with him. “If you want to, I’m not going to say no. But I really don’t mind.”

The cold weather was not his friend and Cade wanted to get out of it as soon as possible. If he were up at the cabin, snowboarding on the mountains then that would be different. He’d also be bundled up. Cade left the den without much of anything to protect him. A bad idea as he started to feel the cold settling into his fingers and feet.

“You always this chipper in the morning?” Cade asked as he continued walking in the direction toward campus, hoping there wouldn’t be a long line for coffee. “I can’t ever find it in me to be a morning person. Not unless I sleep until it’s like noon.” Then he’d happily wake up and feel like he made great use of the morning. These days, he was always up early and it was nonstop from the moment he got up.

“You’re going to have to tell me your secret, maybe then I’ll be able to get myself moving faster in the morning.”

Bastion grinned at Cade but it was a bit bashful, his eyes flicking down for a moment before rising. "Nah. I got it. Moneys burning a hole in my pocket." The comment was made off hand, casual as if remarking on the weather. Bastion always had too much money. His parents money, and it always grated at him. So he spent it every chance he got. He knew he had rich kid taste, wore expensive clothes and threw money around for the best of everything but he always had more burning in his pocket. It was a problem, but a personal one. He doubted any of the team knew about his desire to spend as much of his parents' money as possible. It was a personal thing. His way saying, remember me, I'm still here. And taking as much as he could, like it could make up for his childhood. So, maybe it wasn't the healthiest mentality but he went with it. He loved when he could use their money on other people. Whether it was his teammates or the lgbt charity he's donated to last December.

“Don’t be sorry,” Jen waves him off with a reassuring grin. After everything they went through back home, they never want to discourage anyone from being themselves–even if it means loudly singing like no one’s listening. “Really, it’s okay. I’ve done weirder stuff in public,” They laugh. For example, they could be embarrassed right now for sneaking out of their boyfriend’s dorm to try and make it class, but they’re not. It might be a different story though, when they show up to class late and everyone stares at them.

Jen checks the time on their phone and sighs. At this point, they might as well not even try, because by the time they walk across campus they’ll only have a few minutes left. Accepting their fate, Jen puts their phone away, and turns their attention back to Bastion. At least, now they have a chance to get to know their could’ve been teammate, other than the fact that he likes Panic at the Disco. 

“Do you want to get a pre-practice coffee?” Jen asks. “I missed class, so I might as well make the most of it, right?”

Bastions eyes widened almost comically at Jen's admission. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean--” he cut himself off. Jen had looked like they were rushing when they first came out but the Vixen hadn't commented on why and the fox hadn't even thought about it. Well now he felt kinda shitty. He had been so focused on wanting to make friends that he hadn’t even considered that they had somewhere to get to. "Do you still have time? I'm sorry, you can go. I can bring you coffee after class if you need some. I didn't mean to make you late."

For his part Bastion was pouting slightly, his eyebrows pulled together with concern. He knew that he could be a bit oblivious in his excitement. Alright, maybe he could be a lot oblivious but he never meant to talk the Vixen into missing class. While it hadn’t been his purpose for the conversation it still sort of felt like it might be his fault. He had, after all, been the one to distract them. But maybe they could still make it… Or, he’d have to make it up to them somehow. Coffee seemed like a good place to start, but he didn’t want to hold Jen up anymore if they needed to go. He’d already done that plenty without even meaning to.

Her brow raised at the admission of what it was he was listening to, it wasn’t exactly something she had on loop on spotify, but it was respectable enough to earn a slow nod before noting his embarrassment. He was adorable, and she couldn’t help but flash him a smile with a little lean in, “Don’t worry, you don’t have to be shy. I’m pretty sure everyone has a lost in the music moment. I was totally feeling myself this morning when Lizzo came on shuffle, so no shame in the game. Lucky for me no one was around to hear me but, i don’t judge at all.” Rosie assured him with a little raise of her index finger to her lip, as if to say his secret was safe with her before giving him a bright smile. His energy was infectious, and totally what she needed to get back into her groove.

Arms coming down to easily cross over her chest, she listened easily at the explanation, humming at bit as she pieced everything together, “Ah, I see. I try and stick to the gym in the early morning, today I just wanted some fresh air to be honest. Slowly trying to expand my workout locations, I sort of dig it now that it’s not freezing outside.” Rosie admitted with a slow smile, pausing before going back to what he said, “Hold on, wait. You got a late start? Jesus kid, what time do you typically wake up??” She asked with a small chuckle, shaking her head before reaching up to tighten her long, red pony on top of her head. Rosie had to give him props though so being this dedicated, waking up at the crack of dawn was something that was like pulling teeth for her. 

Lucky for her, he bit at the bait of Exy, confirming that he was in fact on the team. She figured as much, Rosie knew her Vixens, but there was always the possibility of a last minute addition. The infectious energy came back in spades, and she couldn’t help that way her smile took over her whole face. His name suddenly coming to her mind as she remembered seeing him make some big play and one of the Vixen saying his name as she cheered. Bastion or something. “I’m beyond proud to cheer for all of you, this season has been legendary.” She confirmed, almost bouncing on her toes before taking a swig of her water. “I’m glad to see you are pumped and ready to fight like hell, I have good faith that you guys are going to crush it. And I’ll be on the sidelines yelling my lungs out for you all.”

Bastion was positively beaming at the Vixen. It was nice to meet someone who could take his babbling in stride. Rosie didn't seem put out by his singing, or gis embarrassment. Alternately, she seemed happy to relate to the slip rather than irritated by it. "Ya I'm usually up by 6. I couldn't get going this morning." He hadn't actually started that late but he had spent more time lazily drinking his coffee then he usually would. He latched onto the similar interest, even if it wasn't exact, he was happy to find someone who was up this early. Even if it was a new habit she was trying. "I love running in the mornings! I also love sleeping in but that's really only possible on weekends. Even if you prefer the gym, if you're ever up for jogging--" he cut himself off with a nervous hand running through his hair. "Maybe we could run together for a bit. I always change my path so maybe-- if you wanted that is? Or we could grad coffee afterwards, instead." The request was nervous, but even if he struggled to get the words out he wouldn't take them back. Bastion was always looking for a way to connect with his teammates and the cheerleaders. Even if Rosie wasn't up for it, he was happy he made the suggestion. Maybe it wouldn't work for her, but at least it showed his willingness to spend time with the Vixen.

         McKenna was the type of cheerleader to always be happy. She’s always been overly cheerful in most situations, even if sometimes the cheer is kind of silent in her own mind. To some, it can be exhausting, but to others it’s nice. She’s happy when she finds fellow cheerful people. Despite that sometimes matching other’s cheer can get tiring to her. Bastion’s cheer this early in the morning is nice, since lots of people get on her for being too cheery in the mornings. So she smiles and keeps her attitude the same manner. A distraction is just what she needs this morning. 

         At his discomfort from the singing, she shook her head in protest. While he might not have been the best singer, he wasn’t bad. And he’d clearly been enjoying himself. “No, no. It was fine. And besides, you were clearly having a good time and you know, that’s sometimes all you need.” It probably wouldn’t get him to finish the song, but it was her way of saying that she wasn’t judging and that it wasn’t embarrassing. “Plus, you don’t have the worst voice.” She did understand. No one needed to explain themselves to her. She honestly was going to let people talk about what they wanted, not make them feel obligated to explain themselves to her. 

         The Vixen shrugged at his question. She tried to get a run in during the mornings, though it wasn’t always possible. When she had a lot of homework, she usually tried to finish that before going on a run. “Sure, do. Or only sometimes.” She knew that he was deflecting, but there was a curiosity in his tone that she couldn’t ignore. “I try to do homework in the mornings, since there’s practice and what not in the evenings. So, un, yeah. If I can get a run in during the morning, I’ll do my best to do that! But I can’t always make it work. And I rarely take this path unless I’m feeling like changing up my usual route.”

         McKenna wasn’t the Vixen to go out and talk to the Foxes just because she could. She knew some of them valued their privacy and sometimes she felt as if she didn’t have to anything that helped her relate to the Foxes. While the Vixen didn’t seek them out, she also didn’t ignore them whenever they did want to talk to her. Quite the opposite—she loved making new friends it didn’t matter who they were. The blonde wondered if part of the reason that she didn’t have that many friends among the Foxes was because she was nervous about getting rejected by them. McKenna didn’t think any of the Foxes would purposefully be mean to her, however, there was a small voice in the back of her mind that wondered if she’d catch someone at a bad time and they’d snap at her.

Bastion smiled a bit easier at her acceptance. Even if he couldn't help glancing down bashfully at the compliment. He hadn't really made friends among the team or their vixens, yet. But he planned to. He knew it could take time, especially with the foxes but he was actively trying. It's why seeing someone as friendly as McKenna made him so happy. Talking with her was… nice. He could see them getting along, given the chance.

Cade waved a hand in the air dismissively. Little things like that didn’t warrant any grudge or anger. He knew too well that there were far worse things that people could do than just cause a little startle. And really, he should be more awake in the morning and not get scared so easily. “You don’t have to apologize, it’s really not a big deal,” Cade said as he took a few steps closer from where he’d been stopped in his tracks. The winter cold was still biting at him, Cade not smart enough to wear a proper winter coat in favor of something more fashionable.

He wasn’t sure if it was the situation or himself that seemed to be making Bastion trip over his words, but Cade smiled nonetheless. “God, yes I’m getting coffee. I’m going to end up needing three cups of coffee if I want to try to get through today.” And that was the ultimate goal. Classes. Practice. Homework. And then sleep. Precious sleep.

“Wanna come with? I’ll buy,” he offered with a one shoulder shrug. Cade was trying to spend more time with people, to branch out now that he’d accepted he would be part of the Vixens and the Foxes. It wasn’t about Alanna anymore… it was also about himself and what he wanted. “If you do, come on. I can only handle this cold so much longer,” he said, already starting in the direction farther into campus.

Bastion could relate. While he always seemed boundlessly energetic, he still loved his coffee. Without it he was something like a hyperactive zombie. It wasn’t really a good look. He tried not to drink too much caffeine, but he rarely made it far enough for a run without a cup and afterwards he usually got a second. If he didn’t his energy always began to flag before practice and he’d spend the first half of it disorientated with a heavy head. But it wasn’t like two cups a day was that bad, and it helped keep him going during the times of day where he would slow without it. 

Still, he hadn’t been expecting the offer. He glanced up with a surprised sort of smile. The unexpectedness of it made him fall a step behind as the other man continued away, but the backliner was quick to scurry after him. He grinned as he fell into step beside Cade. “I think I will. Thank you.”

“But you should let me buy. I mean, I did startel you first thing in the morning. And now you’re letting me tag along with you.” Bastion had a weird relationship with money. Now, he always had the stuff, way too much of it for him to have developed a healthy meaning for it. But at the beginning of the year it always burned a hole in his pocket. Not necessarily because he wanted to buy anything, but because he had so much of it after his parents refilled his account. He was always looking for ways to get rid of some of it. It’s not like it was his money anyway. It was his parents, and he always had this rebellious need to spend it away. Like using their money up could somehow settle to score between them until it didn’t ache quite so much. It never really worked, but he was still always trying. 

Last January when he knew he’d be going off to college he’d gone to a dealership on the 2nd and just bought a car. He knew nothing about them but it was expensive and it looked kinda cool, so he’d just handed over the money. He hadn’t really felt better when he’d driven off the lot, but he imagined that it was easier for him to breathe without all those zeros in his account. This year, he didn’t have anything like that to blow through money on. Coffee wouldn’t exactly be an expensive purchase, but spending money on other always made him happier then dropping it just to spite his parents. The whole situation was petty, and he knew that. But even if he was being vindictive, using their money for someone else always made him feel a bit better about it. It’s why he’d started his yearly donations. Selfish as his reasons where, at least something good was coming from it. 

Bastion seems like a kicked puppy, then, and Leo finds himself wincing again, but this time for a different reason. It’s the early hour, it’s the death match, it’s the looming threat of home after so many months away that made his words come out sharper and with less joking exasperation than he intended, but he wishes he had better control over himself. Not for Bastion’s sake, but for his own.

He’s usually better at this. He’ll hold the act together until he breaks down, and then what comes out is usually uglier than just a few snapped words: it’s storming off the court, it’s yelling in a Fox Tower hallway with his broken hand clutched to his chest, it’s a panic attack deep in the bowels of Castle Evermore where no one can see.

So, really, he should be better at it than this. And if he isn’t, he’s not sure if that’s good or bad.

Vegas is just a place. His house is just a place. But then, of course, it’s always been more than that. His had been a prison. His house had been a crime scene. His house is still a prison, because he can’t bring himself to sell it. Just another way his father can keep a hold on him, making Leo keep his secrets even when he’s dead.

“Coffee sounds great,” he says, like an olive branch, if that olive branch is selfishly making Bastion do something for him. Maybe, for him, it is. “If you’re offering. Thanks.”

Bastion’s gaze lifted to meet Leo’s. His eyes lit up with surprise but his smile was happy. He hadn’t expected the striker to take him up on his offer, but it was a pleasant surprise. He had yet to really bond with his teammates, and he had a tendency towards nervous excitement that could make him anxious around the other Foxes. It was just slightly old coffee, but it was something and he was happy for it. He had, even accidentally, probably irritated Leo this morning but it felt like he had a chance to make it right. It was silly, really he knew it was. But even if he was hoping the coffee wasn’t too burnt, he was glad to have the opportunity to somewhat redeem himself for causing the trouble. 

“Great!” His voice spiked with excitement, his grin blinding before he bit his lip. When he spoke again his voice was back to an acceptable tone, but his expression hadn’t diminished mech. “It’ll still be warm, and it shouldn’t be too old.” He moved towards the door, absently swiping his card over it as he continued rambling in distracted cheer. “Do you sweeten your coffee? I have creamer, well, and honey. Or if you drink it black that nice to. I prefer a little coffee with my sugar, or so they say. But however your drink it.” He allowed another shrug, and fought the small urge to stop the action. He knew he was talking a bit too fast, a bit too animated but he hoped it wouldn’t put the other boy off to much. He’d already caused trouble for his teammate, but silence just wasn’t something he did easily. At least maybe the coffee would be enough to persuade him to handle Bastion for a bit.  

Mornings were a gift Caleb tried his hardest not to overlook. It was serene on campus, he could walk around without anyone in his way, he could bring his guitar with him and practice without anyone judging him. Most of his mornings had involved coffee, a good book, and classical music playing through his earbuds. It was the only time he ever felt truly at peace and he enjoyed every second of it he could get his hands on. Or he used to. Nowadays, he was fighting himself tooth and nail to get his shit together. He wanted to be happy, to not let the fog absorb him, but it didn’t seem to be working like that.

Where he usually found himself alert in the mornings, he had been sluggish lately, slow to process and slower to reply. That wasn’t like him but he couldn’t bring himself to care much. Putting in effort was half of the battle but in order to put effort in, he had to have energy. That was something he lacked today. Or most days, as of late. With his back to the railing of the staircase to the tower, he smoked, taking in the morning. His body was telling him to go back to bed, curl up under the blankets for hours and just let the day pass him by. His mind wasn’t doing much to discourage him, but he’d made it out of his dorm regardless. And even if he didn’t make it far, outside was outside and fresh air, even if filled with smoke, was better than smoking in his dorm. 

There was nothing playing through his earbuds. He was already having issues working out what was said to him and getting his brain to understand what was said, adding music to that would only make it worse. As much as he loved having a soundtrack to life, he didn’t want to make it worse. And listening to songs he loved might help him out of the haze but it just as likely could backfire and he could come to associate that song with the sadness. So it was better to not play anything and just let it be. The sound of footsteps coming closer caught his attention but he didn’t open his eyes to look, not until he heard singing. Very loud singing. Maybe not super loud, but loud enough to break the silence that had settled over them. He glanced up at Bastion, half a smile on his lips. “Morning,” he said, just out of politeness. “You sounded pretty good.”

Bastion loved music. He might not have a favorite genre because what he listened to really just depended on his state of mind at the time. He would go through periods were he was obsessed with one song or artist. He’d listen to them on repeat until his mental space changed and he found a new one to obsess over. But he was almost always listening to music. It was cathartic. Even when he went through his phases with depressing songs. Sure, they were sad but there was something about the way an artist could put their emotions behind their words. If it was sad, you felt it, and if it was happy or fun you felt that to. It allowed him to just feel, and there was something peaceful about having that moment.

When he smiled back at Caleb it was warm, his embarrassment still present but not as encompassing. Sure, he was the kind of idiot who just shouted out song lyrics when other people were just waking up, but at least the other fox didn’t seem too irritated by it. “I really didn’t.” He followed it with a small shake of his head, but he didn’t seem upset but the notion. Bastion loved music. Though, he tended to sing quietly to himself rather than loud enough to be overheard. He didn’t think he had much of a voice, and no one had been in a position to tell him so for a long time, but it didn’t bother him much. He liked singing, and it was only for himself so there was no need to worry about how he sounded. “But thank you.”