Such Is Life: the Daily Grind According to Wilfred

Wilfred: Is your, um, "friendship" still ongoing?

Me: Yes, Wilfred, it is.

Dana: Are you going to come to karaoke night on Wednesday, Wilfred?

Wilfred: ……

Dana: Are you gonna come sing?

Wilfred: No. I come watch you sing and I'll say, "a star is born!" Haha

Dana: Isn't that a Barbara Streisand movie?

Wilfred: Huh?

Dana: "A Star Is Born", isn't that a Barbara Streisand movie?

Wilfred: Oh. Yeh. I met her you know.

Dana: What?!

Wilfred: Yeh, I met Barbara Streisand.

Dana: How did you manage that?

Wilfred: When I was younger I used to need money and I was an extra in a few movies.

Dana: Really? Haha

Wilfred: Yeh but when I met her I told her something was wrong.

Dana: What's that?

My Boss: Hey Wilfred, did anyone tell you Dana is going to be the newest boss?

Wilfred: [dramatic, petrified stare]

My Boss: We're making her a manager!

Wilfred: [still staring]

My Boss: Yeh, she'll be in charge now, Wilf.

I walked into work today and the first words out of Wilfred's mouth were, "Dana…I want to talk to you".  Generally this type of a greeting from Wilfred means that he is about to comment on the fact that I haven't been into work in two days or it signals that he is about to make a comment about my love life; not so today.  Today, Wilfred wanted to speak with me about something he heard from another server.  Something about "a….um, a….some Facebook site thing," he says.  My blog.

Wilfred had been told by another server that I had posted this blog online (something for which I had gotten his permission) and for one split second I was unsure as to how he would accept this information. He had given me permission to write this blog under the pre tense that I only post what he says, "I cannot get mad at you for posting the things I say… I was the one who said them for Christ's sake! Hahaha!" And yet for that one split second, I worried I had offended one of my oldest (in more ways than one) friends.  So, in a moment of concern, I asked Wilfred, "would you like to see it?"  

I proceeded to read him the quotes I had posted and instead of expressing upset, anger, or discontent, he looked at me and said that my introduction of him to my followers was very nice.

Chef: ORDER UP!

Wilfred: Well…I'll see you later!

Server: You're leaving already? Clearly you don't care a bit about me [with a wink].

Wilfred: …..Whatever! [goes to walk away]

Server: See? [with a mocking sniffle] You don't care about me [another fake sniffle]

Wilfred: Dana, when you go to Paris make sure you stay away from crazy whores!

Dana: …..

Wilfred: Why are you looking at me like that?

Dana: Did you say "stay away from crazy whores"?

Now that I have given you all a few posts to get accustomed to his sense of humour and style, let me introduce to you…Wilfred.  

I met Wilfred nearly seven years ago when a local pub opened and I had gotten a job there as a hostess.  Wilfred, then 70 years old, came in one day for a beer and it seems he hasn't left since!  Pleasing the staff everyday (except for Sundays) with his antics, Wilfred has become more a part of the pub than even the light fixtures.  

Now a server and bartender (and nearly 23 years old), I can safely say that Wilfred has a quality that I have yet to find in any other individual: a true, unadulterated, and often brutal sense of honesty.  His quirks and eccentricities make him the unique barfly all our staff members and regulars have come to love and I could not imagine our pub without him.

I hope you enjoy Wilfred as much as I do.

Cheers!