The rest of the avengers: awww–

Natasha: and I tell myself, if I can survive living with those dumbass clowns, it means I can handle every problem. 

Y/N: I don’t know about 5 Hour Energy, but one time I drank a Red Bull after taking Nyquil.

Peter: Oh?

Y/N: Yeah. I was miserably sick, like I could hardly breathe through my nose and all I had was Nyquil, so I took some, but we had training. Of course, I could barely keep my eyes open and Sam saw me and was like “Here, take this”, and handed me a Red Bull.

Peter: What happened?

Y/N: Knife Monopoly.

(tw: talks about blood breifly, language)

Yes this is a rant, im sorry if it comes off as rude, i don’t mean for it to be

People who write AUs then title their stories as the AU... ik titles are hard to come up with but please have a title.

While on that subject, please don’t have “sorry I'm not good at summaries, just read it” in your story summary. Bruh, if you don’t have a summary that appeals to me, I’m not going to read it. And it’s especially annoying when they add it on after their summary, just keep it at that or make it into an author’s note, please, i beg of you, it makes people hesitant to read it cause like.... if you can’t write a summary, I assume you can’t write your story (that sounds harsh but I'm being honest).

People who don’t do even just the bare minimum of research when they write about injuries.

Just gonna put some stuff here in that—if someone gets shot or stabbed in the stomach, they will probably die unless they receive immediate medical attention (and even then the odds aren’t great), those stomach acids do not mix well outside the protective stomach lining its made for. IF YOUR CHARACTER HAS BEEN SHOT OR WOUNDED IN ANY WAY—THEY ARE NOT ALL GOOD TO KEEP FIGHTING/VIBING LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG. Blood loss affects people differently depending on their age, size, and health, so don’t immediately make someone pass out (though that can happen), on that note, don’t ignore the steps of what happens with things like blood loss and poison, not everyone reacts universally to something, explain what happens, don’t jump to the end. Just please for the love of god do just a bit of research about it—and if you really don’t want to, at least make it believable, if something sounds logical, I’ll go with it.

My god, please do not make characters OOC, especially if it's in the same story like.... dude frrr??? Also, if you want to change their personality from the original source material, that’s okay! But make it make sense, explain why the character is like that, why have they changed? Have their character crafted, then have them make decisions that seem logical to that personality. And this is not me saying characters can’t grow, they absolutely should, I’m just saying, don’t skip that growth without context and don’t make them act in a way they never would.

This goes for dialogue too, don’t write a high-class character using a lot of contractions, don’t have the serious character using “like” or “omg” or anything a teenage girl would say. If someone has an accent, like a Southern accent, they will say “y’all” (I say it all the time and I’m just barely from the south) but if they live in California or New York, that will turn into “you guys”. And some characters might pause more when they speak, think about if your character is calculated with their words, if they are, there shouldn’t be a lot of “um’s” “uhs” or “likes”. But some characters speak impulsively and talk fast, then there might be more filler words. Like everything in writing, it differs, if you make it the same, it gets boring. If you really want a character to reflect where they’re from, look it up, look up slang from that place or how they usually speak, everything is on google.

Do not assume the reader knows what you're talking about. You created the story, so you obviously know more than the readers, but don’t just make an assumption that the readers know what is happening or know what happened just because you do/think it's obvious. We want to read the backstory, we want to know how these characters met or how they got to where they are now, don’t skate past that for the sake of convenience.

For the love of all things holy, DONT MAKE YOUR STORY ONE LONG PARAGRAPH. I immediately exit the story when I see that, my eyes get lost on the page and it’s really super fucking overwhelming to look at everything with no paragraph breaks. We need those spaces to know who's talking, to know if there's a time change, sometimes to even stress something or add suspense. You’re writing could be amazing, but the way you present it is just as important, don’t forget that.

Just remember this rule, if you are changing topic, time, place, a different person’s line of dialogue, OR to add in dramatic effect, then you must make a new paragraph. It makes everyone much more easier to understand, I swear.

If you write in 1st person, I am not reading your story, sorry. I used to write in 1st person, I thought it was superior, but very few authors actually make it work. This is my own opinion (like everything else here) but 3rd person (omniscience or limited) is better because you can be more descriptive with it. This also does depend on your writing skill level, most people who start off write in 1st person, that's okay, but when you feel more comfortable it might be easier to transition to 3rd person.

And if you’re switching pov’s, please make it obvious (don’t title it) UNLESS you’re intention is for the chapter to start off without the reader knowing who's pov it is. But most of the time when you aren’t trying to make it mysterious, it’s just really confusing and people have to read ahead to know what is happening. Again, just because you know what is going on doesn’t mean your readers do.

PROPER CAPITALIZATION AND PUNCTUATION. Please, just, please. If you start a new paragraph or if it's after a period, capitalize the first word. Dear God, please don’t make a run-on sentence. (“I” should always be capitalized if it's it’s own word and well as “I’ve” “I’m” or “I’ll”... I am aware I’m a hypocrite because I’ve broken that rule in this rant, but this is not a story)

This would usually be where I would help you with where to put commas but... no one really knows all the rules... just use your best judgment, and if you don’t have good judgment then ask a friend who does. Or just use grammarly, it helps with the basics of proper comma usage and it’s free.

This is going to sound harsh but, if you’re going to write something, don’t half-ass it. You’ve decided to write something, writing takes hard fucking work, it takes research, it takes planning, it takes time to just think and figure out plot points, and if you aren’t willing to do that, you’re writing will reflect that lack of effort.

You: *in a heavy Scottish accent* Ah am Loki, ay Asgard, an’ Ah am burdened wi’ glorioos purp-

Loki: *walks in*

You: …

Loki: …

You: …

Loki: *glares* are you mocking me?

You: *cape falls to the floor*

There have been a lot of posts about everything Steve does and does not do in Civil War. I’ll keep this one brief – and focused on one single aspect: the matter of the Winter Soldiers.

In many ways, Zemo’s plan was a cop-out for the writers of the MCU. The 5 Winter Soldiers were a very real threat – and they chose to delete it in favor of that horrible ending.

But that is not the point of this post. Instead, the “what if” I’m bring forward today is a simple question.  What would have happened had Zemo truly intended to use the 5 Winter Soldiers as Bucky had planned?

It took Steve around a day to gather enough people to travel to Siberia. By the time Clint, Sam, Wanda and Scott made their way to Leipzig, Zemo was probably already in Siberia. He had a huge head start.

What does this mean? Steve received incredibly important information from Bucky and chose to WITHHOLD it because he believed he was the ONLY one who could handle the threat. He sat on the information for 24 hs (Tony states that Ross gave him the deadline 24 hours ago), during which time Zemo could have easily gone through with his plan. Even if Steve hadn’t been intercepted in Leipzig by Tony’s team, his plan would have still meant zilch, since Zemo could have easily been long gone by the time Steve & co. even got there.

This is incredibly dangerous. Do I even have to stress that in bold? I’ll write it in caps lock too. IT’S INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS.  It’s a level of arrogance that reaches such level it’s clearly pathological.

Steve tells Tony he can’t let the doctor get to the soldiers – and yet, by failing to inform anyone of their existence, he does exactly that. He literally facilitates the actions of a terrorist… because he can’t trust his teammate, and the “agendas” of the UN.

The end result of Steve’s actions could have been disastrous. It could have resulted in 5 Winter Soldiers roaming around freely, at Zemo’s command.

One could argue that even if Steve had told Tony, Tony wouldn’t have been able to do anything. I don’t believe that. I believe the logical progression of Steve finding out this information would be something like this:

- Steve calling Tony

- Tony contacting the UN and telling them, wait up peeps, there may be trouble

After the bombing of the UN and the whole SHIELD is Hydra thing, I would hazard a guess that the UN would have definitely not wanted to take the chance of Bucky being full of shit. So, they’d have likely sent an emergency task force – much like they did with Bucky, one that would have included the Avengers that signed the Accords (quite possibly everyone who was in Leipzig, save Spidey).

Of course, this is only a hypothesis on my part. I don’t know how it would have actually gone. But either way, the fact remains that by not revealing this information, Steve became the accomplice of terrorist. Hell, even the fact that Bucky practically gave him the possible location of Zemo (who had bombed the UN)  should have been enough to at least give Tony a head’s up. He owed Tony - who had offered to help him - at least that much.

Because one other factor to consider was that, when facing 5 supersoldiers like Bucky, there was a very real chance that the team might not make it out of Siberia alive. Out of everyone on Steve’s team, the only heavy hitter was Wanda and maybe Ant-Man (although Steve wouldn’t have known that at the time). Sam lost against Bucky… badly. Clint wouldn’t have been better off. Steve and Bucky could have maybe held off one WS, each. But the balance may have been tipped in favor of the bad guys.

If they’d all died, no one would have even known about the 5 Winter Soldiers – and Zemo would have been free to wreak havoc. Dangerously arrogant, indeed.  

Five juiced up killing machines, six if you count Bucky, against one super soldier, two ‘normal’ guys, woman with confusing set of powers she alternates between being and not being able to control and a guy in a suit who yolo’s at the prospect of being arrested again. Yeah, that would have totally worked out for Steve. 

This is a good point about the other Winter Soldiers (or would it be Winters Soldier?), in that Zemo easily could have unleashed them and wreaked havoc the world over. This is the same team that Bucky Barnes, the original Winter Soldier, said were:  “The most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in the HYDRA history. - And that was before the serum.” And: “ They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize, They can take a whole country down in 1 night. You’d never see them coming.”

So it’s the kind of response that would require the totality of the Avengers. But what was Steve going to use to tackle this?

Roll call:

Captain America-Steve himself is a lot, he’s a match for one Super Soldier, but still only one guy. 

Falcon-Here’s where it all falls apart. Sam is a superhero, yes, but outside of the suit, he’s a normal, baseline human. And his wings are best suited for the type of combat in the open air, with freedom to maneuver. Not a lot of that in an enclosed bunker/silo, is there?

Hawkeye-Like Falcon, Clint, superhero but normal human. And he fights with a weapon best suited for long distances, not tight quarters combat (which makes his engagement at the airport really a dumb call on Steve’s behalf). 

Scarlet Witch-Wanda might be the strongest Avenger in terms of sheer power, but her control is…..not the best. And aside from her abilities, she’s not any more durable than any one else. Put a bullet in her, she’ll bleed and die. 

Ant-Man-Avoiding the question of why Scott is even there, Ant-Man might be effective. But he’s probably not good enough to go against super soldiers. And for those of you saying “He fought Falcon!” Again-Sam is a baseline human, and he wasn’t trying to kill Scott. The Soldiers? They would have. Scott probably could have held his own for a bit, but again, all that needs to happen is for him to get shot, or his helmet or belt broken, and he’s suddenly just a normal guy in a ridiculous costume. 

Winter Soldier-And now we come to Bucky. Who, with the right words, is suddenly under Zemo’s control, and Steve’s group is now not fighting five Winter Soldiers, but six. And instead of fighting to kill, like they would have to be doing, Steve is going to be emotionally crippled and holding back from using lethal force against Bucky. So he’s compromised, and that might get them all killed. 

Could that team take on Zemo’s Soldiers? Maybe, but you’d have casualties, and no guarantee of victory, especially if Bucky gets flipped. 

Now, let’s say Steve actually does the smart thing (for once). He calls Tony, lays it all out, and says, “I need your help.” Tony looks it all over, and comes to the conclusion, “Yeah, this is an issue we need all hands on deck for.” 

What does Tony bring to the table? I don’t think Tony would bring Peter to Siberia in these circumstances, but you’re still looking at: 

Iron Man-Tony himself, and as we’ve seen, his suit can take on two Super Soldiers at the same time. Clearly a match for Zemo’s group.

War Machine-Rhodey’s suit is at least as powerful as Tony’s, and has both lethal and non-lethal components, so he’s good to take on at least one of Zemo’s Soldiers.

Black Widow-Natasha’s a baseline human, like Sam and Clint, though arguably better at close quarters fighting, and one who has already fought Bucky and survived. She’d be vulnerable, but might be more effective than the first two. 

Black Panther-T’Challa might be hard to convince, unless Tony promised him that he would apprehend Barnes, but let’s say he comes along. We’ve seen that T’Challa is a match for Bucky, and Steve, so he could easily handle one of the Soldiers. 

Vision-An indestructible android that can walk through walls? Take your shot. Good luck trying to hide in your blast-proof chamber, Zemo!

ETHNICALLY ACCURATE SCARLET WITCH FANCAST.

picture 1:     franciska farkas picture 2:     alina serban

Wade, gasps: No!

Tony, squeals: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

Y/N: It was unbelievable!

Wade: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

Tony: Okay, okay, we want to hear everything. Wade, get the wine. Y/N, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Y/N: Oh, it ended verrrrry well.

Wade, rushing over with wine glasses: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Tony: Alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it like a, soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I got to have you now” kind of thing?

Y/N: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then… oh god, and then we just sort of sunk into it…

Tony and Wade: Awwwwww!

(Meanwhile)

Natasha: And then I kissed them.

Carol: Tongue?

Natasha: Yeah.

Carol: Nice.

Sam: I sleep with a gun by my bed.

Bucky: I sleep with a big knife.

Y/N: Cowards.

Sam: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Wade: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends that I could commit crime with.

Natasha: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends.

Tony: I wish I had friends.

Y/N: I wish I could knit.

Natasha: Y/N wants to meet Satan.

Clint: Y/N, right hand red.

Y/N: *Ends up on top of Natasha*

Natasha: Okay you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?

*Natasha reads the paper*

Do you like me?

mark with a X

Yes No

Natasha:

Y/N: *sobs*

Clint: What the fuck happened?

Natasha, glaring: I will actually divorce you.

Y/N: She did? (゜。゜)

Y/N: One. Why would you think I broke up with you?

Y/N: Not a problem! *Dials Tony's number*

Natasha: Peter, not now. Having a panic attack over my marriage.

Y/N, still on the phone: Tony. Hi-!

Peter: Don't black widows kill their mate?

Clint: That's dark.

Natasha: Shut up you two or-

Y/N: Yes Tony, a divorce-

Clint: Wow. Natasha begging. This must be the first time this has ever happened.

Y/N: No it's not.

Clint: What- Oh. Ew.

Peter: What? What does she mean.

Natasha: Baby?

Y/N: I thought I am mommy?

Y/N: Keep saying things like that, and I'll have to forget about the divorce.

Natasha: *Smirks*

Peter: Ew, make them stop.

Natasha, smirking: There is...

Y/N: The way to the bedroom~

Clint: ...

Peter, now horrified: Why, why, why?!

Y/N, smirking at Natasha: Way down?

Natasha, lust in her voice: Deep?

Natasha, pulling Y/N along: C'mon, let's go to the bedroom.

Wanda: *Mentally screaming*

Maria, confused: What's going on?

Carol, shrugs: Probably those two again.

Maria, facepalms: Seriously?

Carol: We need to get Tony to make you some mind-blockers, or some shit.

Carol: I don't know either.

Wanda, shaking: No more, please...

Carol: Wait, aren't Bucky and Steve with Sam too-