Insanitus Maximus

Customers in a customer service store. Oh yes. I've been waiting to do this for a while. Hell, one of the reasons I joined the military was to get away from this crap! You all know what I'm talking about. You got all your shapes and sizes in this rant. You got your pleasant ones, sure, but then you have the dark side of the equation. Oh how I hated working in customer service. Let me count the ways:

ONE: The Blind Buttheads. You have those ones that, even though they've been a regular at the store for a few years, they have to ask where something is, and it's typically right in front of their face. Listen. You're not blind, and you've been here constantly. You should know where everything is better than me. Use your head.

TWO: The Pissed Pricks. So then you have those ones that know too much about the store, and expect perfection from the staff. For example: Say someone is a smoker. It doesn't matter if you just started that day. If you don't immediately figure out they want cigarettes, and what kind they want, they flip. Then you got those guys that, no matter how nice you are, they are just always grouchy and bossy, never greet you, and never thank you. Newsflash asswipe. You're the problem with America. Lighten up or GTFO.

THREE: The Last Minute Larrys. These creatures appear anywhere from ten minutes prior to closing, to one minute after. Typically, the cleaning part has finished, and they show up and dirty everything up again! Then you got those ones one minute after closing that get mad because you're closed. Look, Major Marijuana, it's not our fault you were too high or drunk to get your lazy butt over here before we closed. TOO BAD, SO SAD, COME BACK TOMORROW. PERIOD.

FOUR: Drive Thru Dumbasses. This one is strictly for food service. You got all kinds of variety for this. You got the people with the V8 engine that talks too quiet, and you got the people who shut their car off, but scream like it's a warzone. For crying out loud JUST TALK NORMALLY. I HEAR YOU. Then you get those guys (No BS, true story) who WON'T PULL FORWARD AFTER MAKING THEIR ORDER! So they back up the line and expect you to walk their stuff out like it's a freaking Sonic restaurant, and when you ask them to pull up, they get all pissy and tell you that they're cancelling their order, then pull out like it's the Indy 500. Ok bye! Don't starve on your way to the next McTripleBypass!