Untitled @banh-bao - Tumblr Blog

Some clips that are making me a little insane tonight

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oysters-aint-for-me

do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis

#🎶🌹🎉🍀⚰️

natequarter

sometimes i feel like a failure for not knowing how to drive but then i remind myself that like 90% of all humans who have ever lived also never learnt to drive. if william shakespeare can not drive then so can i

qin-shi-huang-di

our Period of Warring States is collapsing…

qin-shi-huang-di

reblog to make it collapse faster

qin-shi-huang-di

that’s right! and after i’ve conquered the six LOSER states, i am going to upgrade my royal title so it reflects my identity better! i think “emperor” has a nice ring to it…

swordsman-jing-ke

I AM SO SICK OF THESE MODERN SNOWFLAKES AND THEIR MADE-UP TITLES

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK IS A “皇帝”??? YOU’VE LITERALLY JUST COMBINED THE TITLES OF THE 三皇AND 五帝 TOGETHER. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK AN “EMPEROR” IS SUPPOSED TO BE WHY CANT YOU JUST CALL YOURSELF A HEGEMON-KING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON????

archerdepartures116

Platonic cumwarplane trio modern au hangout

no filter vers

love the idea of friendship between these three idk

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nart-is-a-monster

After meeting with airplane.

grand-theft-carbohydrates

emperors new groove parody where qin shi huang has been turned into an alligator and he ends up on a field trip with local sheriff liu bang. Send tweet.

its-not-a-pen

My hand slipped

its-not-a-pen

For the people who missed my previous post: this is the rare and incredibly endangered chinese alligator. they literally look Like That.

its-not-a-pen

Just in case u all thought i was being facetious. No this also actually happened. Chinese history is just Like That.

classic-of-yearning

naturally First Emperor's New Groove is a work of serious historical fiction concerning important events!!!!!

its-not-a-pen

Tbh Qin Shi Huang being turned into a gator would be the least unbelievable fact of the Chu Han Contention.

“This magic potion turned the emperor into an alligator” -> “huh i guess magic potions do exist.”

Simple. Straightforward. Comprehensible. Least amount of cognitive leaps to take. Occam’s razor slices through so cleanly and neatly.

“Some random peasant becomes emperor eight years after QSH’s death, after winning a contentious (haha) civil war, and beating out some of the most celebrated military men in history. Despite being a crude, backstabbing scoundrel who pissed in people’s hats, he also managed to lay the groundwork for a moderate and (relatively) humanist Han dynasty, which lasted 400 years and became china’s first golden age. He stands as a paragon of benevolence (relative) to the draconian Qin rule*. His legacy is so enduring that into the modern day, chinese people still call themselves the Han people, and the language the Han language, while his predecessor QSH (who envisioned himself as the progenitor to an unending dynasty) only managed to create a dynasty that lasted 15 years, and has nothing but crumbling walls and unopened mausoleums that stand as a monument to human exploitation” <- it this was a work of fiction i’d decry it for being heavy handed and painfully unrealistic.

*its more complicated than that because the best historical sources about the qin were written by the han historians. undeclared conflict if interests and all that.

swordfishiess

in some ways i think the tension between etho's anonymity and the other hermits has filled the hole left in me since dan and phil announced their relationship. no longer am i watching two british guys try and get as close to crossing the line without actually crossing it; instead i'm watching a group of friends all aged 30+ yearn and wax poetic about how much they'd want to meet this one guy and how much they DON'T want to meet him and how he'd never agree to meet them and how if they DID meet it'd probably be in private and not for an event. they'll say this all in a public digital forum over and over again and then they dance around the topic when talking to the man himself. a much more refined, complex dilemma involving a whole network of people and problems. what do u do when ur open secret isnt two people in a relationship but a whole bunch of people loudly professing that they wish they could have a closer friendship with one guy. crazy.

raynilikescats

i love how Etho is like. you don't immediately become obsessed with him. its this slow thing. you don't even realize its happening until suddenly you're wagging your phantom tail everytime he's on screen. you watch one video of his and its like, yeah it was fine, nothing special. but then you watch another. and another. until suddenly you can't stop and theres just something about that Canadian man that hooks you

theodysseyofhomer

i straight up do not believe that odysseus did everything he did to get back to penelope and telemakhos. or even that he did everything he could. wanting to return to them is not the whole story. i like the myth about odysseus pretending to be mad to get out of the war for lots of reasons, but one of them is because it's an attempt to escape the narrative, foiled by his love for his son, but also because there is contrast to what we know of him long after the narrative has sucked him back in. odysseus is no less kleospilled than anyone else! he fights for his pride; he makes mistakes; he gets worn down; he delays his homecoming, in ways that are and aren't his fault, all the time. he wants to go home. he doesn't just want to go home.

but he does try. by leaving ogygia he willingly goes back into the narrative one more time, and he never gives up until he finally returns. isn't that compelling enough? do we have to sand it down?

theodysseyofhomer

another reason this tension interests me is that odysseus does seem to question if it was all worth it. at least by the point that we meet him, twenty years on. that doesn't hit as hard if he wasn't invested in the war at all, right? if there's no definitive moment where he gets peace, there's also no definitive moment where he gets anything the war promised, either. there's that provocative simile where songs about troy make him weep like a woman whose husband has been killed, who is about to be taken into slavery, a condition he inflicted on countless trojan women. the sirens promise a version of the war that makes sense of his suffering. so he must be wondering.

but it's all very well for achilles in the underworld to say it's better to be alive without glory than dead with it: he doesn't have a choice anymore. but when odysseus tells that story, too, he must still be wondering. was it worth it? what can i do that would make it worth it?

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syvsten

Luka Modric

nobleconsort

sometimes, i want to see bbjx in the bbjx tag. not ryeo. is… is that okay?

is that valid, tumblr??

tomorrowsdrama

Sometimes Chinese Netizens are very funny 😂

charlesoberonn

Necessary and sufficient

certified-door-posts

certified door post

#where were you when I was taking my lsat

allpiesforourown

Yue qingyuan is part of shen yuans harem but he's the only guy that's there platonically. He just likes to be included. Everyone else is fighting to the death for shen yuans body and yue qi is just there like "I greatly respect shen qingqiu :) let's all respect shen qingqiu please :) or else I will have to kill you and myself by drawing my sword haha :)"

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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bidoofenergy

a path is formed by walking

T | 7,741 words

for @mcytblraufest with art by @artshokad2

Jimmy Solidarity is only 22 years old and already washed up. 10 years ago, he tried to become the Champion of Sinnoh and lost, and his best friend, Grian, did it instead. Now Grian wants him (and Joel) to join the Elite Four, become elite trainers once again, and spend their days battling pokemon together, just like they used to all those years ago. It makes perfect sense—so why is Jimmy so hesitant? Why is he more worried about a strange little Oddish that was dumped on him... and the return of a childhood crush, the Professor's old assistant?

read on ao3

#bidoof this is the most stunning tumblr refresh pull #thank you so much for the feast #I haven’t even clicked the link I haven’t even finished the summary I saw jimmy and pokemon and blacked out #AND it’s going to have tango too I know it #ugh so good

daisywords

the plot chickens (becomes scared of its own premise)

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