That Bitch

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

Your brother is the best

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

World Heritage Post

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

Yeah I was hoping to need to have it rescanned by one of your other employees at the self checkout as well as having it visually inspected by the elderly receipt cop as well

Its almost offensive when you see someone spreading Israeli propaganda for free like brother you know they're literally giving out soooooooooo much money to spread that shit and youre publicly declaring yourself as irredeemable and not worth talking with for zero us dollars?

i love that every time magneto loses his helmet in the x men movies he immediately starts going charles you could make me do ANYTHING YOU WANTED right now......... i'd be POWERLESS TO STOP YOU........ you could GET IN MY MIND and HAVE ME AT YOUR MERCY..... i think a lot of their problems could have been solved if charles just took him up on what was a very blatant proposition

"i think", i say, about my own ocs, who i made,

“my headcanon is…” i say about the canon that i made about my own characters

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

far far away idol would never happen now

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

batshit normal