going bananas

The time for the annual royal gala had arrived. The nobles throughout the kingdom all looked forward to this event, and Anna was no different. This was the first major celebration that Theo would be taking part in and he was equal parts excited and terrified.

A custom tailored suit had been made for him, which he had already donned. He was now waiting for Anna outside her quarters as she dressed in her gown. The door opened and Theo’s eyes went wide.

“My lady, you look... stunning.”

Anna smiled shyly.

“Sir Theo, the same should be said about you. You look incredibly handsome.”

Theo’s cheeks grew rosy as her gaze appreciatively raked him up and down. He held out an arm to her.

“Shall we?”

She took his arm, and the two of them made their way to the ballroom where the festivities were well underway.

~~~~~~~~~

A few hours into the gala, Anna was intensely missing Theo. She had been pulled away to network and socialize with other nobles, and Theo was far out of his element.

So he had made his way to the extravagant feast laid out buffet style on several long tables. This was a suitable way for him to keep himself busy.

He piled his plate high with delicious appetizers and a large glass of some type of sweet carbonated drink. He returned to the food table not long after, having polished off his first course.

Several platefuls and glasses later, he came to the realization that he may have gone a bit overboard. His stomach bubbled audibly, although thankfully the music masked the noise well enough. He hiccuped and raised a closed fist to his mouth, and then felt a hand on his shoulder. Anna had found her way to him, finally able to spend a quick moment with him.

“Sir Theo, are the festivities to your liking?”

He nodded.

“And you had the opportunity to try the feast?”

Theo’s cheeks puffed out as he fruitlessly attempted to hide the belch that growled behind his closed lips.

“I may have slightly overindulged with the rich spread of refreshments,” he said in a hushed tone.

Anna lightly brushed her hand over his cheek.

“When the event is finished, I will make sure you are comfortable. I will, um, assist in any way necessary.”

A rush of excitement burned through Theo at the prospect. Just the thought of his princess’s hands on him was enough to get his blood pumping. He watched as she made her way into the crowd and tried to rub his belly as subtly as possible.

~~~~~~~~~

Anna was growing tired of the festivities, and her mind was stuck on one particular thing. She just wanted to spend her evening lounging in bed, her knight beside her as she tended to him in every way she could. A sudden noise yanked her from her daydream.

A rich belch rang out through the ballroom, starting off strong and brassy before dipping down several octaves to a guttural rumble that echoed off the walls.

The culprit was easily identifiable. Theo gave a sheepish smile, his face glowing red. He stifled another lengthy burp behind his fist, but was unsuccessful at reducing the volume by any amount. The partygoers all stared at him with matching expressions of surprise, and Anna felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach at his bashful expression.

Mercifully, the next song started up and the crowd shifted their attention back to their dancing and mingling.

Theo’s face was burning by the time Anna reached his side and took his hand.

“My lady, I aAAAAOOOOUUUURRRPPP—ugh, I apologize for —uuurrrrp—that shameful display. I must admit, my ability to —BEEEEUUUUUURRRRPP— hold them back is —URRRRRRAAAAAPPP!”

Theo’s sentence was left unfinished, seeing as it was likely to be more gas than words he uttered next.

Anna’s arousal was hardly contained as she grabbed his wrist and practically dragged him from the ballroom.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?”

This area of the castle had so far been unexplored by Theo. Anna led him by the hand along a secluded corridor, seemingly searching for a specific door. She stopped sharply when she reached it and ushered him inside.

“Guest room,” Anna explained. “We have some privacy here. Come, sit.”

Theo leaned back to unbuckle his trousers. The rich food and drink had done a number on him. He flopped back onto the bed and made a small noise of discomfort. His shoulders hitched as he desperately swallowed down a persistent pocket of air that was begging to be released.

“Sir Theo, why are you holding back?” Anna was unable to hide the mischievous gleam in her eye. “Let yourself be loud.”

Theo shifted uncomfortably.

“What if they hear? I am unsure of how well sound carries here.”

“These doors look thick enough to muffle the sound of even your eruptions. You will feel so much better afterwards....”

Anna straddled his lap and kissed him hard. Theo enthusiastically reciprocated, only to wince as she leaned on his stomach.

He broke the kiss and turned his head in record time to expel the belch that finally made its way out of him. The power of it took him by surprise, judging by the wide eyed look on his face. He froze and listened closely, waiting for someone to pound on the door and reprimand him. No such complaint was raised.

“That was so good,” Anna cooed. “Feels better, right?”

“Fuck, yeah, it does.” Theo’s stomach gurgled under her, and he gave a breathless laugh. “I’ve got a lot more in there.”

Anna gently rested her hands on his shoulders.

“Sir Theo, I wish for you to lose your inhibitions. I want to relieve your discomfort, and I will do what it takes to expel every bit of air from you.”

She slowly shifted her hips, gently grinding against him. He moaned, both from the strange seductiveness of her words and the feeling of her rubbing against his hardening cock.

The air was stuck at first, and Theo attempted a few small burps that did nothing to lessen the pressure. He grabbed at his stomach, giving it a small shake as he coaxed the air upwards.

Anna could tell it was working by the change in his expression. Theo opened his mouth wide, the notion of being quiet no longer taking any space in his mind. The air tumbled out of him as his eyes nearly rolled back with the pleasure of his release. 

Anna felt Theo’s cock give a hard throb under her. She responded with another slow thrust of her hips, the movement against him working up a series of desperate burps.

To Anna, her greatest privilege was to witness Theo in this vulnerable state, belching and panting and moaning. Candid and shameless, longing for relief and uncaring of how deliciously uncouth he behaves. 

Theo was breathing as though he was winded after his uncontrollable eruptions. He looked hazily at Anna, his expression equally as fitting on someone who had just concluded a spectacular orgasm.

Anna could spend all night here. At least, she wished she could. She knew she had to get back to the event and continue her rather boring duty of engaging with stuffy nobles. But her knight took priority first.

So, with another thrust, she softly pressed her hands to his middle and waited patiently. Her thighs tensed in anticipation. 

A truly spectacular belch roared out of Theo. Deep and full, it echoed off the walls of the room as it built in power the longer it went on. He met Anna’s eye, and his lips turned up into a cocky smirk as he burped. The relief it was giving him was clearly obvious, and he loved seeing her get so flustered. He took great pride in the fact he could turn her on to this degree, feeling her quiver on top of him as she gazed at him hungrily. It was a sight he could never grow tired of.

When that colossal burp finally trailed off, he gave a relieved moan, shutting his eyes and resting his head back. His shoulders were relaxed now, and he was starting to think that maybe he could go for another round of food. He may be just a knight, but right now he felt like royalty himself.

Theo reached up to tuck a strand of Anna’s hair behind her ear, then cupped her cheek with his palm. He pulled her in for a kiss, contentedly humming at the taste of her lips.

Anna jumped at the sudden sound of the chiming clock. Shit. They had been here longer than expected. She reluctantly stood up and Theo whined at her absence.

“Sir Theo, I regrettably must rejoin the festivities. Please take all the time you need... and I will be eagerly awaiting your return.”

Theo only nodded, his mind still a bit hazy. The look he was giving her sent a wave of rather aggressive butterflies through her stomach. His head was lightly tilted to the side, warmth glowing in his eyes as he studied her like a work of art. The flush still in his cheeks, hair tousled, and a gentle smile on his soft lips.

“That was so, so fucking good.” Theo sat back in his chair and patted his belly. “Your food is something else, my lady. I could eat this all day.”

Anna gave a shy smile.

“I am pleased that you enjoyed. Some think it unnecessary for me to cook at all as our kitchen staff prepare such delectable meals. But I rather enjoy cooking myself.”

She left out the part about how watching him happily scarf down her food and the subsequent gas that followed made her feel her heartbeat between her legs.

“Mmmf, I consider it a blessing you do.” He swallowed the large bite he had shovelled into his mouth. “As fantastic as the meals served to us are, your cooking is beyond compare, my lady. And it paired exquisitely with that ale. I can’t praise your craft enough.”

Anna was blushing, both from his words, and the fact that Theo had just drank several mugfuls of ale while he ate. That meant-

“BAAAAAOOOOOOUUUUUUURRRRRRPPPP- ahh, mmm. That felt really fucking good.”

“Sir Theodore, it seems the ale has loosened your tongue.”

In his haze, Theo looked a little concerned.

“Not that I mind,” she hastily added. “I encourage you to speak freely.”

He picked up his tankard and drank heartily from it, loudly gulping as small rivulets of ale dripped from the corners of his mouth. Anna couldn’t take her eyes off him. He lowered his tankard and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

He looked up at her with his sweet puppy-dog eyes, still slumped in his chair.

“May I share with you something... private.... L-Lady Anna?” He sat clumsily upright and swayed slightly. The ale was clearly catching up to him. He sunk back down again.

“Please do.”

“As you know, I am quite prone to gas. It makes me -hic!- ever so grateful that you are so gracious about it, my lady. It’s s-so uncomfortable to hold it in....”

Anna simply watched him, waiting for him to regain his composure to continue.

“It... feels really good... when I burp. My gas no longer troubled me after I started to... er, take pleasure in releasing it. I never believed I would utter those words in my -hic!- life. B-but as your sworn protector, I feel the obligation to be -hic!- honest, my lady.”

Anna couldn’t hide both her embarrassment and her eagerness. She found this situation to be so incredibly erotic. She couldn’t bring herself to be open about it, but she was loving every second of this.

Theo was observant however. He hadn’t overlooked the way she always abruptly freezes when he burps, the way her cheeks turn pink and her eyes dart away. The slight increase of her breath. And the liquid courage had indeed loosened his tongue. He was possibly more emboldened than he should be when talking to the princess, but he was going to take a chance.

“I have to admit, there -hic!- is another reason I am laying my secrets bare. My lady, pardon my boldness. But you enjoy it too, don’t you?”

Anna’s heart dropped. “Huh-?”

“You like it when I belch.” It wasn’t a question this time. “Can I -hic!- do it more? Can I burp for you?”

He looked pleadingly up at her, and she felt the butterflies in her stomach travel down to between her thighs. She was embarrassed beyond belief at having been so transparent, but he seems to enjoy it himself....

He palmed himself through his pants. Anna couldn’t help but look, and she eyed his obvious bulge. 

“I-I’m sorry, my lady,” he slurred, with his hand still on his crotch. “Should I- should I stop?”

“No,” Anna blurted a little too quickly, and she cringed at herself. “No, I... like to see the effects my meal has on you. And I enjoy when you....” She trailed off and gestured with her hands randomly, the embarrassment of even saying it aloud was too much.

Theo’s ears perked up at this. “M-my lady, you will stop me -hic!- if my actions become inappropriate?”

“I will.” She let herself be bold too. “Sir Theodore, I, um, want you to, er... I would like to hear you burp for me.”

Theo’s hips shifted at her words. He grabbed his half-full tankard and slurped noisily from it. He leaned back in his chair as he got comfortable and rested his feet on the table. He drained the dregs, sighed, threw his head back, and let out a raunchy belch. The moan that followed was rather pornographic.

“Your -hic!- food was too good,” he pouted. “I swallowed so—uurp—much air. I could not... mmm... resist devouring it.” He punctuated the end of his sentence with another gratifying burp, his eyes rolling back as he sighed contentedly at the relief.

He took a few breaths, and waited for a second. There was clearly one building. His cock twitched under his hand as it finally exploded out of him. He inhaled sharply. The release felt heavenly.

Anna, flustered at first, was now sitting with her legs tightly crossed. She decided to watch him and commit everything to memory, down to the way his shoulders hitch before a massive belch is released, or the way he smiles with satisfaction afterwards.

Theo let out several rapid-fire burps, ending with a huge belch. He looked very pleased with himself, and clearly wasn’t done yet.

“Mmf—OOOOOUUUUUURRRRRPPP- ahh. Whew, my lady, did you—urp—sorry. Did you hear the size of that one? I bet they did in the—UUUUUURRRRRRP— next kingdom over! Fuck, I can’t—AAAAAAUUUUUUURRRRP— ugh, can’t stop burping.”

He gripped his length a little tighter and shuddered. He looked to Anna to approval, and when she nodded, he slipped his hand into the front of his pants.

He was dripping at the tip. He didn’t realize how aroused he was getting, but the combination of Anna’s care and watchful eye, and the relief of each eruption he let out, had him rock hard.

He stroked himself experimentally a few times, and hiccuped. He brought his feet down from the table and changed his position to sit with his legs draped open. Another sharper hiccup. He knew something big was coming.

“Mmf, Anna... I gotta burp,” he whined. He was so lost in his current state that he referred to the princess only by her first name. This was no issue of hers, however. She was enthralled by the sight of him before her. He leaned back in his seat and pumped his cock a few times.

“Yeah?” She breathed.

“Mmm, yeah.” He stroked faster. “It’s stuck. I need you.”

Anna flushed at his forwardness. She moved to stand beside him and touched his shoulder. She blushed as she noticed the way he moaned as her hand made contact with him. He leaned forward, and she began to gently pat his back.

Theo’s chest hitched and he grunted. He looked at Anna with half-lidded eyes, taking in her pink cheeks and beautiful mouth. She understood his unspoken plea. 

Anna moved to kneel on the floor in front of him, and she placed her hands on his stomach. A second of contemplation, and she slipped her hands under his shirt. His skin was so soft. She rubbed gently.

Theo sighed and squirmed slightly under her touch. His chest heaved and his muscles tightened as his pleasure grew. A groan emitted from his stomach, and Anna could actually hear the gurgle migrate from Theo’s gut up to his chest. 

He let out an absolutely incredible belch that put all his sizeable other ones that night to shame. His lip curled as he burped proudly, savoring the feeling of the air rushing out of him and Anna’s hands on his belly.

His grip on his dick had already brought him close to orgasm, and that glorious burp pushed him over the edge. His legs shook as he came, while hot cum coated his hand and the inside of his undergarments. He shuddered as he reached the end of his burp, letting out the last of the air in a few short bursts. He moaned beautifully. 

Theo down looked at Anna and gave her a dopey smile. She looked ethereal, backlit by candlelight. She continued to watch him as he basked in his post-orgasmic bliss, her hands still on his tummy.

“That was amazing,” Anna murmured. “You’re amazing.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Anna waited outside the bathroom, reading her book while she waited for Theo to finish his bath. He was in need of some cleanup from earlier, and a warm bath was the perfect follow-up to the evening.

Theo walked out of the bathroom, his towel wrapped around his waist. It was the only thing he was wearing, and water still dripped from his hair. Anna gawked for a moment, then regained her regal air while Theo fumbled.

“M-my lady! My apologies. I did not expect you to be out here. I hope I have not kept you waiting.”

Theo shifted awkwardly. He didn’t know how to face the princess after the events that recently transpired. Luckily, Anna took the lead, and she did not beat around the bush. After she managed to direct her eyes to his face.

“Sir Theodore, I wish to explore your mind and heart. I wish to know how you feel toward me, if that was something that would occur again. What I’m meaning to say is, I wish to know if there were emotions involved on your side.”

His fear of an improper answer destroying every good thing in his life rendered him speechless.

“Sir Theodore, as my knight, I order you... tell me what you feel about me, how you really feel. I need your truth.”

She gazed at him so earnestly that he couldn’t disobey.

“Lady Anna. My knightly duties are a privilege I eagerly await every day, entirely because it means I am in your company. Your smile brings a warmth to my heart I hadn’t thought possible, and I find my heart beating faster when our eyes meet. I adore you, my lady. I sincerely hope that my confessions, both now and earlier, will not drive you away. I shall remain professional if you wish, and shall never cross any lines in the future.”

Anna gently took his hand.

“I am so glad,” she whispered. “I was hoping you felt the same as I did.”

Theo’s face lit up. His words had emboldened Anna, and she pressed a quick kiss to his mouth before looking away shyly.

“I meant what I said earlier, too,” she said. “I like it when... when you-“

She was interrupted by a loud burp from Theo. He looked a little smug.

“When I do that?”

“...yes.”

“There must be more details to share!” Stanley clapped a hand on Theo’s back, stumbling them both as he ribbed him in a good-natured fashion. “You’re spending every day with the royals!”

Theo rolled his eyes and lightly shoved him.

“It’s the princess I spend my time with. She’s been, well... she’s been really nice.”

“Really nice?” Louis snorted. “I dare say you should be writing poetry.”

“Pay him no mind, he seems to be envious that your days entirely consist of spending time with the princess.” Stanley teased. “We’ve never exchanged more than a few words with her ourselves, you lucky bastard.”

Stanley and Louis had worked around the castle for many years. In his short time at the castle, Theo had fit right in with them and became fast friends with them both. Although he was a knight and exempt from such duties, he personally elected to take on chores around the castle — both to help out as much as he could, and to spend some time with his friends. Their current task was cleaning the stables, and a lot more joking was happening than cleaning.

“How do you hide your... thing?” Louis asked as he poured feed into the horse’s trough.

A bark of laughter came from Stanley.

“My thing?” Theo scoffed indignantly.

“You know, your problem with gas. You can hardly go half an hour without needing to burp like a beast, how on earth do you manage when you are around her all day?”

“It is not a bother to her, actually.”

Laughter rang out from both Stanley and Louis now.

“Seriously!” Theo was chuckling as he made his way to stand between them, giving them each an elbow in their side.

“Ow- you mean to tell me that you just let it rip? In front of the princess?” Stanley asked incredulously.

Theo blushed slightly as the memory surfaced. “She requested me to whenever I have to. The princess is really understanding. She’s not all stuffy like you’d expect royalty to be.”

He intentionally left out the part about their little contest. That’s something he was keeping for himself only.

Stanley still wasn’t convinced. “You can’t have been doing them at full power. Impossible that a princess would be fine with that.”

“EEEEEOOOOOOUUUURRRPP! Just like that. She really doesn’t mind.”

The three, all from non-royal backgrounds, typically felt less inclined to be dignified than most of the high society. Alone from prying eyes, they had no qualms about acting uncouth.

Stanley had a competitive gleam in his eyes. He inhaled and fired a burp at Theo in return.

Theo and Louis were laughing, Theo waving a hand in front of his face. “Ugh, you are nasty... OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLLLPPPP!”

“Such uncivilized behaviour, I am appalled,” Stanley put on his best “dignified” voice.

“I must agree, where are my manners? Allow me to say excuuUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Theo masterfully continued his sentence as his burp rang out proudly.

“Oof, good one!” Louis managed between hysterics.

As Theo let out a small after-burp, Stanley stepped toward Louis and let one fly at him too.

“Foul, that was in my face!”

It was Theo’s turn to laugh. “No way. If it was in your face, it’d be like this.”

He leaned toward Louis and released a lengthy belch a few inches away from his face, blowing the rest of the air at him after it concluded.

Louis returned the favor, producing a shorter but deeper burp.

These antics continued for a few minutes, the three laughing and burping as obnoxiously as they could at each other.

What they didn’t know is that Anna was right outside the stable. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, not at all. She had simply come to take a horse to go for a relaxing ride. Now she’s standing just outside the stable doors, a blush staining her cheeks. Theo’s statements about her struck her as rather sweet. And glancing through the small window in the stable doors, she could see the three men howling with laughter and, well, belching in each other’s faces.

She should have been disgusted, or at the very least unimpressed with their crass display. But that was far from what she felt. She couldn’t explain it, but seeing Theo laugh after ripping a burp in his friend’s faces was strangely... hot? She clenched her legs together as she listened to him brag about the volume of his last one.

“Bet that one could have been heard from the castle! They’re only getting louder, too....” His burp that followed stretched on for several seconds, and ended with a heavy sigh.

Anna’s focus entirely on her knight, she forgot about the reins she held in her arms until they hit the floor.

Shit. That was audible. She had to think fast. She opened the door to the stables to find the three men frozen in place. After a moment, Louis and Stanley both whipped into a bow, with Theo standing there awkwardly.

“Ah, apologies, gentlemen. You startled me, I must admit. I did not think anyone would be at the stables at this hour.”

It was the middle of the morning, a perfectly normal time for anyone to be at the stables. But she was flailing for something to say, something to convince them she hadn’t heard a single sound from them.

Luckily, Theo was desperate to know that she hadn’t heard any of what had transpired. Regardless of him being able to let them rip around her, he shuddered to think about her witnessing him act so boorishly. Luckily again, Anna was the opposite of displeased.

“My lady!” He cleared his throat. “I- uh, we-“

Stanley stepped in.

“Our deepest apologies for startling you, my lady. We can return to the stable duties at a later time if you wish.”

“My apologies to you, gentlemen. I must have been simply lost in thought as I was arriving. Please continue your duties as you see fit, I wish not to intrude.”

She turned to go.

“I bid you farewell for the time being, and will see you at lunchtime, Sir Theodore.”

“Wouldn’t miss it, my lady. But, were you not here for a horse?”

Anna realized the reins were still in her hand and she quickly put them down.

“Ah, it slipped my mind entirely. There are some things I must attend to at the castle.”

A complete lie, but she was hoping to return to the castle before her pink cheeks and slightly heavy breaths gave away her true feelings.

Theo nodded, a little confused but relieved.

“Farewell until then, my lady.”

Anna strode out of the stables, only stopping to catch her breath when she reached the castle.

There was a tentative knock on the door.

“Come in!” Anna called out.

Theo entered the room and bowed.

“Sir Theodore, a pleasure. Please, you needn’t concern yourself with such formalities as bowing to me. You are my knight, and I wish you to view me as your equal. Please, sit.”

Anna patted the spot next to her on her heavily pillowed bed. He felt a touch of uncertainty —isn’t the bed a bit of an intimate place to sit with the princess?— but he followed her instruction and sat stiffly beside her. She turned toward him and watched intently, waiting for him to start talking.

There was silence as Theo ran a hand through his hair. After a second he met her eyes, although it seemed he had to work up the courage first. He huffed a quick breath, and finally spoke.

“My lady, my deepest apologies for the unacceptable way I behaved at dinner. It was brought to my attention that I have a lot I need to learn about the etiquette of civilized life. Sir Stephan gave me quite an earful.” His eyes darted away. “I hope you can forgive me for my ignorance and lack of manners.”

His spiel was interrupted by Anna’s giggle, which perplexed him. Was she not disgusted by him?

“Sir Stephan doesn’t know the answer to everything. I for one, would find it absolutely refreshing to be able to shirk the duties of table manners. It would pain me to see you restrict yourself. I will discuss the matter with Sir Stephan. What I say, goes. I would enjoy my meals much more if I knew you weren’t holding back to any degree.”

Theo was baffled.

“But, my lady, I behaved in the most repulsive way as you were enjoying your meal! I mustn’t.”

“Sir Theodore, I command you to not restrict yourself in any form. In your mind, would it be repulsive if I were to relieve myself in front of you?”

Theo reddened slightly. “O-of course not! But-“

“And I will not feel comfortable doing so if I am to be the only party with that permission.”

“Are you… sure? I mean, princesses don’t typically-“

Anna cut his stuttering off with the only way she could think to convince him. She placed a delicate hand to her chest and produced a deep, rattling burp. The ability to belch on command was something she had discovered years ago, and she had never dared demonstrate it in front of anyone. But Theo was different.

Theo stood there in stunned silence for a moment. The princess, picture of elegance she was, had just unleashed a hearty burp right in front of him. Something stirred in him.

“That was... wow. I mean-!”

Anna blushed, then muffled a small after-burp with her fist. “You mustn’t- uuurp- disobey your princess.”

Theo had heard enough convincing. He cocked a smile.

“Then if you don’t mind, my lady, I’ve been holding back since we ate.”

Anna felt some unexplained eagerness at his proposal. Then a small pocket of air that she hadn’t counted on still being there suddenly rose up her throat and out of her mouth. She felt a rush of embarrassment at the lack of control on her part, but Theo seemed delighted.

He burped for the first time since dinner and he beamed at her, only to look a little flustered when she gave a throaty belch that dwarfed his previous. She held solid eye contact as she did so and smiled after, and he couldn’t explain his sudden shyness. He regained his composure after a second.

“You’ve got a talent, my lady! Bet you can’t beat this though!”

She watched as he gulped air, his Adam’s apple bouncing as he took in as much as possible. He raised a finger, waiting, then unleashed a proud burp worthy of challenging her previous. He looked rather pleased with himself.

Anna could hardly believe what she was doing. A princess not only expelling gas so freely, but making a competition out of it? But she was enjoying herself far too much to stop.

She mimicked his air swallowing technique, and her resulting burp was even larger. She felt a sense of triumph momentarily, and also felt a lot of anticipation for his rebuttal.

Theo was ready to win this friendly contest. He started to gulp down air. He felt the gas building and he kept taking in more air, only to find it stuck when he tried to let it out. He rubbed his sternum in a fruitless attempt to dislodge the air.

“Does this mean you back down from our competition?” Anna asked teasingly, although she was a little concerned by his discomfort.

She scooted closer toward him and reached out tentatively toward his back, and he nodded at her silent request. She gently patted, and kept her eyes on his face while she did so. Theo felt simultaneously soothed by her contact, and incredibly awkward at the prospect of being touched so casually by the princess.

They were in close proximity now, sitting side by side with their faces turned toward each other. This is the closest they had physically been before. Anna took note of his features that could only be seen at this short distance. The individual freckles dotting his cheeks, the flecks of grey in his irises. This felt strangely intimate to her as well.

Theo, on the other hand, could feel Anna’s efforts doing the trick. He knew that he needed to create some distance between the two before the pressure in his chest was too much to hold in. But she was looking at him with such soft eyes that for a second he was frozen. He didn’t even want to move. Until a quick hiccup was the only warning signal.

“W-wait- I- AAAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP!”

He had just let out a very impressive belch directly into Anna’s face. It trailed on for multiple seconds, and carried all that pressure left over from dinner out of his stomach. It felt so amazing, he hadn’t acknowledged that his gas was being blown right at the princess. After that display concluded, he gave another bassy belch, shorter but still loud enough to echo through the room. Theo positively moaned in relief.

“F-ffffuuuuck, that was so good, I-“ he then came to his senses.

He had just belched in the princess’s face! What was wrong with him?

He started babbling apologies, but Anna shut him down with a wave of her hand. A bashful smile danced across her lips.

“I’m just glad you feel better. Please… relieve yourself whenever necessary. I want no holding back.”

“I, uh... you have my word.”

His eyes were glued to the floor and his cheeks were bright red as he stood up from her bed.

“I’ll... let you get some rest now,” her cheeks shining a matching shade. “....Good night, Theo.”

As he lingered at the door, his eyes darted to meet hers and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

The more Anna thought about it, the more nervous she was about her father’s idea.

To say the least, the princess had doubts about meeting her knight. Anna felt increased security to be unnecessary as she almost always remained in the spacious castle, and threat of invading kingdoms were nonexistent with the excellent trade relations they built. But her father, the king, frequently travelled to do business and sometimes would be gone up to months at a time. This was more a matter of soothing his worry than a need for protection.

Knights in this kingdom were essentially bodyguards to the royals. They would stay in close proximity to their assigned individual. They weren’t required to be glued to their sides, but they must stay within the castle in case a problem arose. Their sleeping quarters were always close by to their royal, and they gained privileges such as eating in the dining hall and access to the luxurious baths.

Anna was not isolated in the castle, per se, but she didn’t have a lot to do with others. She got along well with the castle staff and treated them kindly, but their duties prevented them from being able to keep her company for very long.

Theodore had been recently employed by the king. He was around Anna’s age and was first discovered by a castle guard years ago when he was attempting to sneak into their orchard to steal apples.

Rather than throw him into a prison cell, the king’s heart softened at Theo’s story. He had no family or friends to speak of, and lived as a street urchin. His attempted theft was not out of greed, but of desperation. The gracious king was leaving on his travels next week, but he wasn’t going to let this man fend for himself any longer.

He arranged for temporary sleeping quarters to be made up for Theo, and modest dishes given to him by the kitchen staff. The king spent the next week solely with him. His travel preparation was delegated to Stephan, the royal advisor, as he believed he may have solved the dilemma of leaving his daughter alone for so long.

As his departure grew nearer, the more settled he felt in the decision he would make. Theo raised no concerns with the king. In fact, the young man was hardworking, honest, and trustworthy. This was a man he would trust to protect his daughter.

There was only one issue—although it was a minor one, other high status individuals may be more perturbed. Theo wasn’t ever trying to be rude, but he was spectacularly prone to gas. He had the frequent need to belch, and they weren’t small ones either. He would let them out when he had the urge, it was always something very natural to him. Sometimes, it even felt pleasurable to him, although that was a fact that did bring him shame.

The king was subject to many of Theo’s gassy expulsions throughout that week, but he weighed his options. He was running out of time before his lengthy absence from his kingdom, and this was a perfect candidate to be his daughter’s protector. He couldn’t afford to be picky, and in the grand scheme of things, some gas really wasn’t a huge issue.

However, he had neglected to correct Theo when he shamelessly let one rip. It wasn’t that he wanted Theo to embarrass himself, but it felt wrong to him to criticize the knight that practically fell into his lap.

To Theo’s bewilderment, he was knighted the day before the king was set to leave. He went from having tattered rags as his clothes and a hungry belly to living amongst the royals in less than a week.

The ceremony (in his honor!) had just concluded, and it was time for Theo to meet the princess. He scanned the crowd looking for the only familiar face of the king, only to feel a hand on his shoulder.

He spun around to see the king, a young woman standing a few steps behind him and Stephan trailing after them both.

“Sir Theodore, congratulations!” The king boomed. “This is my daughter, Lady Anna.”

The king had informed Theo of the very basics of royal etiquette, at least, if not anything about table manners. Anna stepped forward and Theo bowed respectfully.

He had practiced this many times over the past week, but that did nothing to quell his nerves as he bent at the waist—an unexpected belch loudly tumbled out of him.

He straightened quickly. It took him by surprise, but he didn’t even know to be embarrassed by what he just produced. He still had more in there, so he deliberately pushed the rest of the air out in a hefty burp. A few passersby turned their heads toward the sound—some others didn’t even mask their disgust, sneering and muttering as they walked by.

Theo was unaware. He smiled warmly.

“A pleasure to meet you, Lady Anna.”

Anna had been informed by her father that Theo was a little crass by royal standards. Although she held herself with dignity, she was not one to take offence to a slip in table manners. She offered him a dignified smile in return.

“The pleasure is all mine, Sir Theodore. Allow me to show you to your quarters.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Anna gaped across the table at Theo, although it wasn’t for the same reason as her waitstaff. Stephan looked absolutely gobsmacked. Food disappeared into Theo’s mouth at an almost concerning rate as he uttered contented sounds on occasion.

He was unaware of the judgemental looks of the staff and the now outraged expression on Stephan’s face, as he was currently engrossed in the most delicious meal he had tasted in his life. Anna couldn’t help but find his enthusiasm endearing, and maybe some other emotion stirred inside her. She quickly squashed it down before she could think harder about it. She smiled at Theo, who was currently taking colossal gulps of ale.

“Is the meal to your liking, Sir Theodore?”

He took two more gulps to finish off the rather sizeable tankard, and dropped it to the table. Panting slightly, a wide smile lit up his face.

“My lady, this is the best tasting food I have ever encountered in my time. I never had food as such in my hometown. Never got to eat this much too!”

He beamed, then grimaced slightly. He put his fist to his chest, thumping until he dislodged a hearty burp. If he knew how rude he was being in the eyes of this civilized way of life, he would feel unbelievably ashamed. But, letting out some gas at a meal was a regular occurrence to him. So he did what he needed to and relieved himself when he felt the urge. A foreign, yet enticing concept to Anna. Oblivious to the glares pointed toward him from all but Anna, he gave a chuckle.

“Damn, that one’s been sitting in there for a while! Felt great to get ooooOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRP!” He interrupted his sentence with an unexpected belch even louder than his first one.

“Whew, that’d be the ale, always makes me bloated. Hold on, I gotta-“

His voice turned strained and he held up a finger, signalling her to wait. He cocked his head to the side and let the pressure continue to build in his chest. A quiet growl echoed from his stomach.

His head jerked forward as a series of three burps explode out of him in quick succession, each one more powerful than the previous. However, he didn’t seem done yet.

His brows knit and he knocked his hand against his chest, bringing up an absolute monster of a belch as a grand finale. It carried on for a few seconds until he was left panting and slumped in his chair.

“Damn, haven’t done one that good in a while, I tell you, my lady! Which is saying something, because I’m prone to u-UUUUURRRRPPP! AAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRPPP! Ahhhhh….” He sighed contentedly. “That’s all of it, I think.”

Anna’s eyes were wide and her cheeks glowed crimson. It wasn’t just that he had so blatantly rejected social norms in front of the no less than the princess herself. No, she felt a type of warmness inside that confused her. But before she could say anything, Stephan spoke up.

“Lady Anna, forgive me, but there are a few things I must discuss with the new... hire. Please allow me to have a moment with him.”

Anna jolted when she realized she had finished her food quite some time ago, and had been simply watching her knight since.

“Right.” Anna rose from her seat. “I will retire to my quarters.”