雌犬,あなたをファック.

dream big little guy

pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of sex education. we’ll do it properly. public: applause pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of snow plowing. we’ll do it properly. public: confused applause

pornhub: chaotic good

what timeline is this

pornhub doing a better job than Trump/America

somewhere in all this bad pornhub is out here doing so much good

I walked to a deli and got a sandwich to go and a coffee and while I was waiting these two teenage girls ran up and were like OH MY GOD JESSICA HOW ARE YOU and then hugged me and the one whispered “that guy was following you and taking pictures of you” and then they walked home with me and that one guy stopped following me and hONESTLY THIS IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

I NEEDED THIS SO BADLY

This. This everyday. I need this everyday.

This shit is wild.

Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.

Fuck I cant believe this is something I need to reblog.

y'all the fact that I have to reblog this in the goddamn year of 2017

dont do the thumb thing dkfkgkdkdjg that technique was come up with in the 50s and if you can see a mushroom cloud At All youre in danger. not everything in fallout is accurate yall

Roast the fuck out of them. Being family doesn’t mean you ever have to be okay with that shit.

*slow clapping at the dad*

I always reblog this.

people are always like “are you a morning person or a night person” and I’m just like buddy I’m barely even a person

“boy im dumb as shit” is just rephrased Socrates’s “I know that I know nothing“ so whats the truth

FREAKIN BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE.

*cHOKES ON DRINK*