Whimsical is my middle name

If you’re persodivergent or know someone else who’s persodivergent, I’m sure you’ve heard the term supply before, and you likely have a pretty good understanding of it based on the way it circulates in the community. However, I haven’t been able to find a good resource that accurately describes what supply looks like overall. Sure, there’s plenty of resources for specific pd supply sources, especially the more ‘popular’ pds, but what is supply at its core?

Supply is something that makes a persodivergent individual feel good about themselves to a degree that persotypicals have a hard time grasping. It’s something that gives feelings like euphoria, energy, etc. Supply fuels them, makes them feel good and like they’re able to function normally. When someone is low on supply they may get snappy, nervous, low on energy, etc. Supply can sometimes even be powerful enough to break splitting! It’s like a battery for persodivergent people, when your supply battery runs low your disorder will start acting up in negative ways. This is why it’s important to surround yourself with people willing to give you what you need without sacrificing anything by doing so. Otherwise, you’ll both be miserable, and that’d suck. Not all persodivergent individuals have this supply battery, of course, but for those that do it’s important to them to have this battery be filled every once in a while. It’s always best to ask what is most helpful for these individuals when their supply is running low, however, as every persodivergent individual is different.

Personality disorders tend to develop due to emotional neglect in certain areas, meaning that those with persodivergence will be particularly excited when they aren’t being neglected in that same way. As stated in this post by @thatnarcissisticfeel, when an individual is constantly faced with being ignored or getting negative feedback as a child and their natural coping mechanism is that everyone else is wrong and that they’re better than everyone, they may end up with NPD. Therefore, giving a pwNPD positive feedback and making sure not to ignore them and to include them in things can be supply for them, as that’s actively going against the neglect they went through that caused the personality disorder in the first place. Of course, compliments and telling them they’re the best could also feed into this supply battery, as that proves their coping mechanism of being the best correct. However, if it’s suspected to be disingenuous, that can have the opposite effect. 

Certain disorders, such as ASPD, SZPD, PPD, and STPD are less likely to have a supply battery due to the fact the coping mechanism is detaching themselves from the need for what they were neglected with. This does not make it impossible for supply to exist for these disorders, but there tends to be less of a need for outside validation due to the nature of these disorders. It’s best to ask if there’s anything you can do for these individuals, as it's a lot more subjective and uncertain when it comes to them. 

Supply for a handful of other disorders include: ✧ Giving your full attention to someone with HPD when they talk about their interests and engaging to show you’re actually listening. ✧ Applauding someone with OCPD for doing so well on a test or other project, especially if you engage and say what exactly you loved about it.

✧ Assurance and actions to prove to a pwBPD that you won’t leave and that you enjoy being in their presence. Reaching out to a pwBPD first can give supply, too.

✧ Checking in on someone with AVPD when you suspect they’re isolating and letting them know you appreciate them and that nobody hates them for just existing.

✧ Helping someone with DPD to make decisions and talking them through it logically so you aren’t just telling them what to do but also helping them think about it without making them decide completely alone.

Some general supply ideas include:

✧ Asking specific questions about interest(s)

✧ Specific compliments

✧ Reaching out first

✧ Remembering little details

✧ Celebrating meeting goals (anything from just acknowledgement to maybe even a party if a bigger thing like a job promotion)

Supply Resources + the general supply ideas taken from @a-jagged-nightmare. The resources are mostly npd based. Unfortunately not a lot of resources out there for other pds

Supply, NPD specifically (linked above in my npd example)

Self Supply Tips, NPD & HPD focused by @narcissism-positivity

NPD, Asexuality, Hypersexuality, and Supply by @narc-rants

NPD Supply Ideas by @clusterrune

Related:

Supply Person (SUP):A SUP is someone the persodivergent individual can obtain supply from of any kind.

Love, grief, and magic in the mundane

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.