Korean Ground Beef and Rice
It’s been a long day and the kids won’t shut their fucking faces even though you love them, it’s times like this that you wish you could just ship them off for 2 weeks so you don’t have to listen to the constant yelling. So lets make fucking dinner that way if they’re shoveling food into their face, they will at least be quiet for a moment.
Shit we need for this:
1 lb ground beef, or more. It doesn’t make that much of a difference, but not like 3 fucking lbs. That’s too fucking much. 3 garlic cloves or if you don’t really have time for like fresh garlic and mincing and shit, just buy a jar and use about half a tablespoon and call it good cause we don’t have time for conversions and shit. ¼ cup of packed brown sugar. We don’t give a fuck if it’s light or dark. Don’t ask that question. ¼ cup of soy sauce 2 teaspoons sesame oil or like if you just shake the bottle about 5-7 times you’re good cause measuring takes a lot of fucking work. ¼ teaspoon of ground ginger AKA shake it a little until there’s a light yellow powdering on most things. ¼ teaspoon of crushed red pepper flakes 2 shakes of pepper Rice
Optional:
Carrots, broccoli, green beans Other shit we need:
Big ass skillet The last fucking clean small bowl in the house Whisk That spatula that you used last night and didn’t get clean yet. Better fucking wash it.
Suggested shit:
Rice cooker. Just fucking buy one. I know rice isn’t fucking hard to make but save yourself some fucking time and just buy a damn rice cooker. The kids can fucking do it themselves when you really don’t want to cook. Strainer + Plate + Paper towels
Turn the largest fucking burner you have on medium heat and put your big ass skillet on it. Put your ground beef in the skillet and put your fucking minced garlic in there. Tell your kids to shut the fuck up while you brown that hamburger.
Once you feel you’ve properly broken up the hamburger and moved it around the skillet adequately for it to brown, start your fucking rice. Once your rice is started move the hamburger around more so you cook it right and don’t fucking poison anyone. Tell the kids to shut it again.
In that last clean small bowl put your hopes of seeing it clean again in the next week, the brown sugar, soy sauce, sesame oil, ginger, red pepper flakes, and pepper. Whisk the shit out of it and really get in there clenching your jaw because you can’t take your anger at the lack of solitude you have in your life out on anyone but yourself right now.
Once fully fucking mixed and you feel like you have released most of your rage return to your browned meat. Make sure it looks like it’s fully browned and turn off heat. If there’s a lot of fucking grease, don’t just leave it, take that strainer and put it on some folded up paper towels on a plate and pour your meat into there. Don’t get rid of the big fucking pan though! Put that fucker back on the stove. Take your strainer and shake as much of that fucking grease off as you can and return the meat to the pan. Pour the sauce over the meat and fucking mix the rest of your rage out.
If you choose to have some of the veggies, add them in now. If you wanted them steamed you should’ve done that early but you forgot because I didn’t fucking tell you. I’m not really sorry. I have my own problems. They taste good raw. Just fucking go for it.
You’re rice should be done in that rice cooker you bought and you realize it’s a fucking blessing because if you didn’t have it you would still be waiting for things to be ready for you to even consider start cooking your rice. Serve your meat over that rice.
Take your bowl and fucking hide while everyone else destroys what you left for them.
