marcescence at its best

it’s easier diminishing the possibility of love, any love at all, coating the idea with cement hoping that it never cracks or erodes because I thought we were meant to be in love someday, that the things you did meant something. I wish that you had fallen in love with someone else, because at least then I would have known better. You kill me absolutely, and it makes me wish I was actually dead but it kills me even more knowing I almost died but I didn’t, Because killing myself now would be a big fuck-you to the world; obviously I have some sort of purpose here, and in my crazy deluded mind, I once thought that purpose was to love you till you felt like  you didn’t need to hide away anymore, or refrain from feeling what you feel the most. I thought my love for you would set you free, but I think that only works when you want to be. I guess I realize now you’re so used to being confined, that the thought of being able to fly was too much, way too much to recognize.

your defenses pain me so, for it is you I’d love to know but it was garden walls, so very tall, that kept me subdued. the flowers growing against your gates were the most wonderful I’d seen, so much so, that I’d never dream  of piercing through what was already bleeding.

red and green, a lovely scene— the lovers that will always be. from the green leaves and vines adorned with crimson roses, evergreens in living rooms with scarlett ornaments to cashmere in the color mint  on heart-shaped cherry lips and thorns from wild bushes stuck on bloody skin lagoon-coloured veins— when opened they take up a ruby tint.

you called me last night  before I went to sleep, when I hadn’t heard from you in months and you said you missed me.

But when the days are over, and I’m all alone, I think I can see why you don’t believe in love. It’s been 3 years, and I’m still here, wondering if these things are real. Maybe, there is no such thing as love.

His artwork was merely me. 

Warm skin Shy voices Thin legs Small breaths - We walked across an empty road, you held the door for me; relapse had never been so sweet. Surprise laced in my eyes, newly-found fondness in yours; However, summer didn’t mind. Summer took the worry, the need, the fragility away, replaced it with a pair of beat-up converse, a pair of brand new converse. Summer brought a flush, red like the strawberry at the bottom of our cup. You said you’d try to see me again, I think your presence was enough.

Dark clothes,  Cold hands Rough Hearts Soft arms - We walked down the sidewalk, ghost of smiles lingering, along with our cold hands. There were red marks on my arms, red marks on your thighs, however, winter didn’t mind. Winter brought a flush; red like the brick walls that held our very thoughts. You said you’d get me something for Christmas, I think your presence was enough. (Part Two)

Somehow I was convinced he wasn’t human, that he was something higher than the rest of us could even comprehend. Slowly, I started seeing things; the god turned into demi-god,  the demi-god turned into man,  the man turned into careless matter of the earth, rich in character without trying. I came to see, he had the same elemental make-up as the rest of us.

She looks lovely her first time. Her darling eyes, I’d never noticed how much they shined. She sits quietly, wearing all white. Tanned, eastern skin, dark shadow lashes.

gradually, the senses dull senses of the soul the emerald inside you fades into dark, bland carbon. the hateful rings of fire die,  the loving oceans in you dry, and in goes the cold indifference; indifferent to the self-destruction, gradually, it becomes alright.

Wow, it seems like forever that I haven’t added new work; I’ve definitely spent months working on new stuff but I have the most terrible habit of starting numerous writing pieces without fully finishing one and so I ended up with so many unedited papers, but I’ve gone through a few and so without further ado, more writing works! 

Yes, a gleaming shadow of severed stardust.

it was so close to the sky, I figured that was why.

The difference between Evergreens and Redwoods—relatively everything, relatively nothing.  The soul-awakening moment, the wander in the irises, the air being easier to breathe, not being able to imagine a world without the feeling. A state above reality, where dreams are at the bottom and said state is the highest it can get. Real in the very moment, but suddenly collapsed upon in the juncture after it is withheld from the soul (by the same Woman who had given it to us); a reminder more than a lesson to enjoy the state above reality, for it will surpass memory, even. Only sensational glimpses will be attained, and even those will disappear within seconds.  The difference between Cars and Planes—relatively everything, relatively nothing.

You have to understand, it was dark out there, darker than anything I’d ever seen, and the world was full of dark things. Then, I remembered how it wasn’t dark anymore; it was the first time I’d seen the sun during the night. My chest was furiously pulsing, and we just kept running, not stopping despite the burning in our lungs - the screams, loud and dangerously horrid - but within the flashes of orange, the star-filled sky, and the frantic junctions of time, we slowed. I stopped and looked back. The screams should have died out, or at very least, gone soft, but they stayed ringing in my ears. I just remember my eyes watering as I turned my back to the deteriorating house in the middle of nowhere, wondering where I would go next, and if any of us would survive that year, or the rest of the amorous night.