You can't trust vampires, trust me.

why is jasper the only cullen who gets a southern accent? alice is from mississippi. emmett is from tennessee. they should ALL talk funny.

and while we're at it: let carlisle keep his english accent. esme thinks it's sexy.

vampiremaxxing this summer

always amused by the idea of immortal characters who are older than they look but not by a crazy inhuman amount. like a vampire who got turned at 20 but is currently only 56 or something. people start asking about historical events and theyre like sorry man i dont know anything more interesting than your parents. dating scene is starting to get awkward. worst of both worlds all around.

went to the vampire council meeting and the fledglings thought i was weird and cringe because i dont understand 67 memes but the elders wont hang out with me because i don't remember the civil war. they said come back when you lose all sense of time and perspective. fml.