Baeklination

¤¤

Some days blue, some days grey, the mountains roll in the distance. Even when you get as far as farm country they lie farther still. Silent and never changing - a mystery that lends solace. 

Between them and here lies all you’ve seen in the world, but from the home where you grew up surrounded by golden fields and wind rushing through corn stalks to where you now live, on a very quiet edge of a very small town, it doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, with a little more than a modest salary you could save some each month and visit one of those big cities the ladies at the cafe are always talking about with so much shock and fascination…but it’ll keep.

If anything, what you would consider these days is a tour based on temperature; anywhere where it’s not scorching before the clock has struck eleven.

Scorching.

Scorching… 

“Rats..!”

Sticking the pin in the paper haphazardly you run down from upstairs to the kitchen, knowing you’ll be met by smoke billowing out from the oven - but you’re not. Saying a prayer of please, please, please, you grab a mitten, open the oven and pull out the cobbler. 

“Thank god..!”, you sigh, relieved to see you haven’t ruined the afternoon goodies you’ve promised Ms. Ethel to bring round before work.

Peering into the oven you see the culprit, a classic: edibles from a previous use turning into charcoal. 

“All in a day’s work”, you mumble to yourself, scraping the burnt piece away.

°

“Oh, you hadn’t forgotten about me”, Ms. Ethel chirps as soon as she opens the door.

“It’s not that late, is it?”

“Not for an old hen like me, but you ought to be on your way already. Or are you taking the day off?”

“The week’s just started, Ms. Ethel, I don’t need to rest just yet”, you smile at her on your way to the kitchen. “I’ll be on time. Either way, Ida has a key as well and I don’t suspect they’ll be breaking down the door on a Tuesday. Now, what do you think? Presentable?"

“I think the ladies will be fighting over it. I’m fighting myself right now”, she laughs, smacking her lips.

“Go on, have a bite. It’s best fresh outta the oven.”

“And serve a cobbler with a gaping hole in it? Oh, the jokes would never end, sweet girl.”

“Come now, Ms. Ethel. You don’t serve it whole. Cut it into pieces before they come and they’ll never know the difference.” 

“M-hm… Well, the cook knows best… I still have some coffee in the pot, it’ll go fine with a bit of sweet.”

“Go sit down, I’ll bring it.”

Having survived her husband of fifty-three years, Ms. Ethel is going on her seventh year alone. She says she isn’t lonely, and you reckon she mostly isn’t because she keeps herself busy with a visit here, a trip there all throughout her weeks, but nonetheless spending every morning with someone for fifty years is a habit you don’t wean off easily and that’s why you try to stop at hers a few days a week, to make sure. Suppose it is also for your own benefit. With your folks out on the countryside she’s become like a relative of sorts and being around her, doing little chores to alleviate her burden, is comforting.

Sometimes - like right now - seeing her sitting by the window, half smiling with curlers in her hair, she’s so cute it breaks your heart. You don’t know why exactly. It just does. But coffee and cake won’t wait for no one, so you snap out of it and join her in the living room.

“Here you go. Give me your most- second most honest opinion.”

“You never disappoint. If these hands of mine were still working proper I’d tell the ladies I was the baker.”

Lifting her spoon in cheers, she winks before eating it, and since it’s rude to wait for an evaluation you look out the window. Her view is almost the exact same as from your own, barring the houses farther down the street being visible here. You could tell the day was heating up fast on your way over, and the cat resting under the neighbour's tree tells the same story. A car breaks first the silence then your view; your heart skips. Shielded by the angle and speed, the frame is gone in the blink of an eye, but that's all you need - the tan arm, checkered shirt rolled up, holding the steering wheel of that red truck, is his.

“Mm!”, Ms. Ethel exclaims, bringing you back. “Sweet and deep just like I like it!”

¤ 

You’re a capable woman. A business owner - albeit small - making and mending clothes, paying rent on time, handling salary and meetings with your accountant by yourself. Even got your own house and home. But one hint of him and you turn silly. Knowing Baekhyun’s in town rattles your brain and instead of solely focusing on the job at hand you’re preoccupied with thoughts of how to see him. Should you head over to Joe’s pretending to need some electrical advice and hope Baekhyun’s stopped in to buy some new tools? Or the grocery store? The diner? You don’t want to be too obvious and get the folks talking - so maybe it’s best to stay put? Look as if you’re only minding your own and hope he’ll stop by and say hello. But what if he doesn’t? If you occupy yourself with something in the front part of the store, say fixing the mannequins or do a bit of sweeping you might see him across the road. Of course, one waves in such a situation - and of course, he’d be encouraged to come over…

This ridiculous merry-go-round occurs every time he's in town. Only a few times have you missed each other, be it because you were tending to a customer while he was loading up his truck or you stepping out just before he came in looking to buy a set of assorted buttons you know he didn't need.

Oh, but why is he such a fool? There have been times you know he’s on the verge of taking a step towards confessing, but being interrupted or simply not quite finding the courage he’d held his tongue. He’d smile and chuckle, squeeze the fedora in his hands before saying goodbye with a hint of sadness.

And while neither of you said anything it could be weeks before you saw each other again and sometimes you'd imagine that next time he wouldn't be alone. How uncomfortably the pit in your stomach sits when you think he might’ve been set up with a “nice girl” from there and you’ll find out about it on a regular day like this. Like the day the little bell over the door chimed, announcing his entry - accompanied by a woman you didn't recognise. He must have seen it then. How your stomach churned, making you too sick to even greet her with a smile. You knew it was all over, too late, on account of your own cowardice. And he must have seen how vigour was breathed back in your body when he explained how the woman had merely asked for directions; a visitor driving through town finding herself in need of a seamstress due to an unfortunate rip of her trouser leg.

Sometimes you acknowledge that driving the matter forward can't fall solely on him. After all, everything you've gained since you were seventeen has been by your own efforts and decisions. You've lived precisely as you've wanted to - with courage. So why is this so difficult..? If it were to end up a fiasco you'd barely see him anyway, right? 

Right!

But if it did end up a fiasco you'd still be wretchedly in love with him. Not giving him a chance to say yes also means he can't say no.

°

You saw him way across the street but of course put on a smaller act of coming out to give your little café set in front a wipe with a cloth - just in case.

"Hiya, Byun..! How's that crop 'o yours surviving..!", Humphrey, owner of a small shop for tinkers to the far left of you, jovially shouts.

"They're hanging in there, Mr. Thomas..!", Baekhyun calls back to him. When his head is turned a thin veil of sweat on the back of his neck glistens in the sun, carrying down the way under his shirt collar. Sympathizing with his situation of doing manual labour in this heat, you think how uncomfortably warm it must be under both flannel and undershirt. Before you're aware, the thought that he must have that film of sweat over his shoulders and chest comes into your mind. If his skin was touching yours…

"I'm sure your fabrics are doing fine as ever in spite of the sun?"

"Oh… yes. I guess I picked a good product", you smile, certain a flush is branding your cheeks, that he knows what you were thinking just now. 

"You have a long drive home, let me get you something to drink. Sit."

Going to the back of the store to fetch a bottle you take a quick look in the mirror and can determine your facial colour hasn't undergone any dramatic change. Thank you.

On your way back you stop for a second, mesmerized by the way Baekhyun wafts his hat in hope of some alleviation. The awning has gotten him away from direct sunlight but the heat is so pressing it's only a marginal change. He looks up from his seat when he hears the click and fizzle, and humbly accepts the bottle of Nehi soda. Gulping half of it down in one go he exhales loudly, the way all of us do after drinking carbonated drinks and tips the bottle in your direction.

“You're a lifesaver.”

“It's just a soda on a hot summer's day… So, are they? Your crop hanging in there alright?”

When it comes to Baekhyun, you're terrible at smalltalk, but luckily he doesn't seem to notice or leastways not mind. 

“I’m not in any peril just yet. I upgraded my irrigation system last season. Cost me a penny, but it's been worth it. You know how-” Stopping, he chuckles and knits his brows. “I'm sure this isn't the least interesting for you.”

“No… But it's all French to me…”

“Well, then, how's your folks doing? I think it's been a while since I saw their car passing out there. They move?”

“They're still out there. But my father took a tumble, so they've been staying in. On account of his leg.”

“Oh, that doesn't sound too good. Has he been to the doctor's?”

“Mm. It's broken. I'm going over on Friday to stay the weekend, do some work around there. If the buses start going again, that is…”

“I can give you a lift.”

And just like that, an opportunity like no other opened up.

“I’m sure you’re busy, I wouldn’t like to put you–”

“I always have time for you.”

°

To say your mind has been preoccupied elsewhere this Friday is an understatement. At times it seemed like time wasn't moving quickly enough. Other times it was moving too fast, no doubt a result of nerves. It was a tiny, white lie you told Ida about having tons to do before you depart and therefore would be locking up early, but she didn't mind either way - an extra few hours of weekend is nothing to complain about. 

The tons you had to do was to give in to vanity; change into a fresh dress, dab some powder on your face. The lipstick stayed in the drawer - you don't want to be too obvious. And not fully admitting it even to yourself, if Baekhyun sees you put some effort into it he might not wish to smud- anyway, your folks would wonder about the pageantry. 

You can’t help wondering if he really was planning on coming up here or if he made it up. Of course he didn’t make it up; driving all that way just for you? Maybe he would. He said he always has time for you. 

“I always have time for you…" 

Such butterflies go through your body when you think back on how he said it, so matter-of-factly, and you promise yourself that, if he doesn’t take the first step today, as the sun is your witness, you will.

You were ready forty minutes ahead of time and after sitting on the hallway chair for ten minutes you got so restless that you decided to step over to Ms. Ethel's. It was actually a good thing since she'd just done the laundry and hanging it to dry gave you something to do as well as it unburdened her.

You've learned to recognise the sound of his engine after all this time so he doesn't have to come into view for you to know.

"That will be your lift then?", Ms. Ethel asks when she sees your reaction.

"Seems it is. You're alright, nothing else you need? Trash to take out?"

"Go on, I'll make due. Say why isn't Mr. Byun married yet? A fine gentleman like him ought to have a wife, don't you think?" She's not blind. Her eyes twinkle when she opens the door and continues "Mm. And a fine woman like you should have a husband…"

You want to confirm what she already knows, share your secret, but now is not the time so you simply swat your hand smile.

"I'll see you Monday, Ms. Ethel.”

°

If smalltalk is one of your weaker points, then smalltalk around a subject is weaker still. All throughout the hour-long drive you spoke about this and that. Mostly memories from when you were growing up, the difficulties of Baekhyun having a different background than most, why you left, why he stayed and so on, but in the back of your head you tried to find an “in”, as they say. Some way to get talking about the two of you, but whichever line you had seemed contrived,  and plainly put: you were too scared. But when he offered to lend your parents a book about irrigation and new gadgets, you jumped at the chance, deciding that following him in under the guise of wanting to have a look at the old place, would create the perfect moment to tell him. Away from the road and him having to concentrate on driving was best anyway.

You take a few steps before realizing it's raining. Calling it rain is almost an overstatement. It's what you refer to as god's flower mister; rain so fine it feels like someone is using a giant sprayer from up above.

Baekhyun leaves the door open so you walk in, curious to see if it's stayed the same. It mostly has. Maybe a new kitchen table or sofa, you don't remember that well. It's only a minute until he's back with the book and it's too soon. You can't even find anything unnecessary to say, some remark about the place. 

“Do you want to have a look around?” He's awkward and fidgety. He's thinking the same thing as you are. “It's all the same, but…”

You're on the verge of doing it. Right there, with a lump in your throat. He must know what you're thinking. 

“Oh, okay. Well, then I think I know it already.”

You turn around and grab the doorknob, your lungs tight and pulling. Say it. Say it, say it, tell him! You know you can't do it. A coward.

It's over…

"Wait."

Baekhyun's hand goes to the door. Tentativeness like never before is painted on his face. You dare not move and ruin the delicate momentum. Sliding from the door to the knob, he takes your hand, holding it with the utmost tenderness…then bends forward and presses his mouth onto yours. A whirr goes round your head. His lips are so soft. Moving back he considers your expression then leans forward again, sighing out his relief just before your lips touch. Parting yours, you let your tongue slide onto, under his, feeling his hands gently close around your waist. This elation might not be emotional - if you were to look down you might see your feet hovering an inch off the floor, so wholly does the weight off your shoulders and happiness in your heart feel. 

During a moment's breath, Baekhyun glances at the stairs - a Freudian slip of the eye or a question? Either way you do the same then allow him to take your hand and lead you upstairs. 

It's just a short walk but nervousness, giddiness, impatience all fit in there.

The room doesn't look like you remember it from growing up, when it belonged to his folks, but neither does it seem like he's taken an earnest interest in the decor, not minding a frill on the curtains or flower pattern on the bedlinen. 

It's really happening. 

Amidst the softness of his lips you can't help noticing the fumbling of his hands against your neckline.

"I'm a klutz", he laughs shyly, leaving the dress buttons to you.

All of a sudden you become vulnerable. While getting undressed in the course of kissing follows a natural flow, taking your own clothes off with eyes wide open leaves you exposed and becomes somewhat of a revealing of your body. But you gather Baekhyun feels the same way, slightly turning as he does, to put his own garments on a chair. When the undershirt pulls up along his back you can't help pausing; his lean muscles are a testament to years of physical labour and carry on over his shoulders, arms and his torso. In front of you he's turned from the sweet man to infinitely alluring.

Oh…

You're glad that he's the one to remove your bra. After he's pushed the straps from your shoulders you let it fall to the rug beneath and his fingers whisper over your back; biding his time, perhaps waiting for courage. 

Then, you feel the touch of his palm as he puts it to your breast, as lightly as if you were made of glass, but daring to put some pressure on it once your lips meet again. Taking a few steps forward he carefully steers you to the bed where he pulls the covers aside for you to get in.

The hairs on his legs against yours with none, the press of his stomach on yours. Him. Stroking hair from your brow, he studies your face with warmth then smiles.

"I guess you've known for some time that I love you."

You take a deep breath, trembling because finally, it's been said. You nod, pull his head closer.

Under your fingers you feel the muscles on his back contract and relax with his small movements. By his fingers the hem of your underwear slips down to be taken off completely when you raise your hips. When he latches his thumbs under his own you're shy to look, as if being attracted to that part of him is shameful, but you are. He's hard, swaying, when he lies back down. Further opening your legs, he guides himself to your entrance amidst showering you with his lush lips; a hint of salt and imagined earth. 

On your slick coating he slides the head in with ease, distributing buzzes and whirls as moves.

"Uh……." His soft sigh over your face is a treasure. Pushing further in each time until completely lodged he whispers "Tell me if I'm going too fast."

His elbows frame you in and props him up, leaving only his stomach against yours as he softly claps with his groin.

Allowing you to sneak through with your arms you put your hands on the small of his back, feeling the billowing from below.

Pushing your leg up, he thrusts faster, resting his head on your shoulder so that his hair tickles your cheek. The gentle hums and moans are replaced by heavy exhales and short groans while he's coming closer to climaxing. Your insides swirl and twinkle. The evening hour doesn't matter - in this heat, sweat accumulates between your rocking bodies and mixes with the damp smell of a weathered house.

Panting hard, the quiver in his voice giving it all away, the clapping eventually turns irregular and unbridled, ending with his orgasm. 

His heartbeat is on fire - yours is too - and the heat feels strong enough to burn your chest, but even with the desperation for oxygen, his weight on top of you is a rapture unmatched.

Looking at his hands intertwined with yours you're struck by how well he's managed to keep them decently gentlemanlike in spite of his work. He's been perfectly still for some time now. Since he managed the mammoth task of moving his body to lay behind you. Just as you start listening for sounds of snoozing his nose feathers across your back, then he kisses the same place and unclasps his hands. Propping himself on the elbow, he puts his head against your arm and moves his hand over your stomach. 

"Do you think you'd like it if I…"

You feel silly not understanding what he means, especially if he's embarrassed to say the words, but you can't do anything other than wait for him. He huffs, bites his bottom lip and rolls you onto your back.

"If I…touched you…" Seeing the perplexion in your face he quickly wants to reassure you "We don't have to, it's okay. If you don't like-"

"No, it's not…" Truth is, in your limited experience with men, none of them ever did or asked to do something like it, so you don't know what it would be like if someone else did it. But you feel like you want him to. "I, um…"

The words wedge in your throat, but he understands you perfectly by the touch on his arm. Placing a dollop of saliva on two fingers, he lets them disappear under the sheet.

"Ah-h…"

You can't help catching your breath when you feel his fingertips run softly over your clit. Slowly lowering his face, he envelops your lips with his, pushing them in sync with his delicate movements. Up and down he caresses, then gathers some more liquid from below and rubs his fingers quickly from side to side.

Turning into the pillow, Baekhyun's face hovers over your side with anticipation so strong it's felt in his breath against your cheek. The whirr intensifies, coming up to the surface, your backside and thighs go tense, you press your hand on mattress, open your mouth…and just then the dam bursts, spilling over electric magic between your legs, inside you, while you shake and try to smother your whines. 

Baekhyun groans mutedly and repeatedly places kisses on the side of your face as he draws big circles with the new fluids.

You find him sitting on the patio, watching the sun between clouds in pinks and lilacs. There's not a sound except the grasshoppers so you almost don't want to go out for fear of disturbing this picture. The patio flooring is damp under your feet and only a tiny squeak here and there is heard, save from the swish of the blanket you've wrapped yourself in. Looking your way, he takes a deep breath and opens his arms for you.

“Hi there.”

“Can I ask you…”, you say, playing with his hair. “Why did you look so sad right before you kissed me? Surely you already knew?”

“But I didn't know. I thought. Suspected. So I thought, if I'm wrong and you turn me away, this might be the last time I see you.”

“But you're happy now. Right?”

“Mm. All I want is you and me.”

Looking at the sun you can tell what time it is, so you sigh.

“I think we have to get going…”

Finding his way under the blanket, his hands gently caress your waist, breast. Cupping your face, he presses his lips onto yours. 

“Once more before I take you..?”

¤¤

Pressing your pillow into a ball, you savour the pre-dawn stillness with its cool air kissed by the moisture of summer rain. If you didn't hear the drops against the trees you'd hardly know it was raining at all, so masked it falls from the light grey sky into the blue filter of morning. 

Today, there's no need to fret; gone are the days which have you thinking "just one hour more", leastways for another two weeks. Should you get up? Be that person who catches the day starting with a strong cup and digging in the garden before sun-up? Should you go back to sleep, comforted by knowing you've got plenty of time and no one to judge you? Or maybe you could-

You prick up your ears. That car you heard far off is closer - much closer. In fact, it's grinding the gravel on your driveway…

You get up to see if they figure it out themselves or need directions (the Lindegaard's house is obscured by vegetation but not far from yours - guests are always trying to go there), but peering out you're taken aback. You look closer, make sure. It is him. Why is he just sitting there?  

Whatever he's up to, it's cute, and stepping into some slippers and putting on your macintosh, a flurry of butterflies is released inside your body. Just as you open the front door you see the car backing out; perplexed, you hold up your arm in somewhat of a wave and it comes to a halt. 

He looks caught out, but rolls down the window when you get close.

"I thought that was you."

He smiles awkwardly, fidgets with the steering wheel. He's embarrassed. 

"I couldn't sleep. I went for a drive and…ended up here, I guess."

"You guess? Were you leaving just now?"

"I know it's not cool to just show up, that's why I was going."

"Without saying hello?"

He laughs, obviously more relaxed. 

You're so precious, I can't take it. 

"You don't wanna come in?"

His mouth pulls to the side, his eyes zigzag.

"Yeah."

The silence isn't awkward. 

This early in the morning silence could never be awkward.

Skipping artificial small talk comes naturally, as if the honesty so prevalent during night still lingers in your house and walking straight to the bedroom - him following without a word - is only the truth.

When you sit on the bed you're comfortable. Baekhyun, he's…hesitant. 

"Are you okay? Nothing's the matter?"

"No, I’m okay." Licking his lips, he bites at them, smiles shyly, and looks down, as if he's got something on his mind. "I'm okay. Just…"

You can't help smiling at his timidity, caress the hair behind his ear.

He breathes out quickly, in place of laughing, and throws a glance at you. When you sink to the floor and put your hands on his thighs he undoes the button and zipper of his trousers, then raises himself up so you can wiggle them to his ankles. You only have to look him in the eye for him to breathe deeper, trying to keep calm amidst the suspense. For all his mannerism there is nothing coy about the way he presents; resting against his white shirt in a pink hue, his hardened cock doesn't apologize. 

Kissing along his inner thighs makes him hold his breath. When you put your mouth to his balls he stutters, trying to maintain his composure. 

Putting his length to your lips, you slide down halfway, slowly sucking at the head as you come back up.

"Uh-h…"

His stomach fills with air from his breath - the deeper you take him the bigger the inhale.

"Don't let me make you come-"

"Ahh, you will…", he mumbles when you press your thumb under his balls, but doesn't stop you from swallowing him again. "Ahh…"

Thick and juicy, with a continuous stream of pre-cum, Baekhyun's cock is a grown-up's candy; sweet, addictive. The fact that he doesn't realise what he's got makes him even more attractive. The fact that he doesn't seek to dictate the terms. He's grateful for the opportunity of having himself inside your mouth, for feeling the pressure of your lips around him. With the rubbing of your thumb he's forced to loosen his restraint, crumple the covers in his hand, moan dazily.

"You're gonna…"

Even though you're the one who wanted the warning it's not easy letting him out of your mouth. 

Taking off his shirt, Baekhyun moves further up on the bed with his cock twitching from eagerness and feverish eyes, waiting for you to join him. 

His lips are plush. It's nice to just kiss for a while; make out. His fingertips are smooth as they make their way from your back to your waist. Softly bucking upward, he lets his length press between your legs. Moving your underwear to the side you push back, down - he stutters, but takes a firmer grip around you and raises up. On your fluids he slides in easily, excites your entrance, fills you up.

Moving his hands to your cheeks, he holds - parting them slightly - and slowly rounds his cock into you. Even though his kisses are full, his attention is divided; moving his hands to feel the fabric against his knuckles, trying to sneak a peek, he shyly admits:

"I like when you have them on…"

"Naughty boy…"

He almost shivers, laughs, then presses his lips hard against yours - a way to escape the embarrassment.

Even though being called out seems to tickle him, you're not sure how much he'd be comfortable with so when you sit up to let him indulge in the view, you close your eyes, turn to your own enjoyment. 

Dipping and raising slowly to make sure he gets an eyeful means you get the sensory effect of the most delicate teasing as his length confidently squeezes as deep as it can. 

Dropping your head, bouncing a little faster gets Baekhyun trying to control his breathing, but he fails in keeping his muted moans in check while you feel the tips of his fingers pressing on your thighs.

You don't want him to come just yet so slowing down, circling, you lean forward again and kiss him. With a hum vibrating on your lips he places his hand on your cheeks again and starts clapping, keeping the thrusts short but still soft. He breaks the kiss to breathe. To just feel. His head presses back in the pillow, his eyes drowsily close.

"Ah……."

The way he moves lets you balance on the line of climbing; just shy of it, you're able to enjoy where you are and not chase an orgasm. 

Reaching up, he kisses you twice - shallow and juicy - and looks at you with such innocence, panting while whispering his request.

"I wanna come in you…"

His girth pressing your walls aside gets in the way of words; a moan is enough. His eyes light up, chest heaving.

"Yeah?" He takes an even firmer hold of your cheeks and thrusts harder. "Oh-hh……..chh…….."

Filling his lungs, letting his mouth drop, his jaw quivers,

"Now…I'm-hhh, ah!...mh!", pressing you down, he grinds, billows, flexes that jaw. Unlike his previously timid nature he lets out a long grunt and pushes himself deep, making sure every drop ends up inside you. "Aah……aagh, aagh……."

Letting his body relax, he slumps down on the pillow, brushing away the hair from his dampened forehead, blinking into the ceiling. Just when you wonder if the shy boy has vanished you catch him stealing a glance of what he likes; the way your underwear are shifted to the side and his still rigid cock buried inside. He breaks into the sweetest smile when he realizes you've seen, then pulls you to lay on his chest - yelps when it causes overstimulation - and puts his arms around you. 

The cool air eventually feels cold on your back so you pull the sheet up. Cosying up further, purring contentedly, Baekhyun speaks quietly like the morning:

"Did I wake you up when I came?"

"Um, no, not really. I was between sleeps, or deciding if I should go back to sleep."

"And..?"

"I don't know. Not get up. You?"

"Well, I didn't sleep all night, remember-"

"So sleep?"

"Mm…", he hums and hugs you tighter. "Sleep."

¤¤

It's ridiculous. 

No, he is ridiculous. 

Fights with Baekhyun are few and far between, but sometimes they do happen.

Going over it like a merry-go-round, grinding the irritation, frustration, into your head until you decide to let it go. "Eh, what do I care? If he wants to be the idiot… I don't have to spend my time on it. It'll get sorted soon enough…"

Putting your keys in the little porcelain dish on the hallway counter, this isn't remotely how you'd imagined ending the night - in a home dark and quiet save for the drumming of the rain. 

As you run out of things to do your thoughts start creeping back thataway and as the clock keeps going you're subconsciously tallying up the time he lets go by without contacting you, without apologizing. 

Now you are ridiculous.

Finding any excuse to look at your phone, pretending to be checking the time, you're secretly disappointed when there's no text from him even though you specifically told him not to; even though you know a single word from him would have incensed you.

The problem with sharing an apartment versus having someone move in is you can't forbid them from coming there. Can't make time for soothing your mind and constructive thinking before seeing him again; it's all willy-nilly, come as it may. And when it does today, you get a knot in your stomach. You don't, you do, want him to come. Regret. Anger.

Here, in the night, his motorcycle approaching is easy to hear. Isn't it curious how, now that you're fighting, the sound of his bike infuriates you? It's barely that you can make anything out through the rain curtain on the window, but the figure down there is him alright, his grey hair soaked in return for not wearing a helmet.

Idiot…

A short acknowledgement that someone entered is all he gets when you pass the hallway, noting that the leather jacket he dumps on the chair is full of water beads. Riding in rain is hellish and by the expression on his face it hasn't exactly eased his tension. He says nothing - you say nothing. Stalemate. 

Whatever pinch of regret you had when he wasn't there gets pushed aside by cold rage when he is, so when you see his back in the doorway to the bedroom - his realization that he's been expelled to the guestroom - you're filled with a perverted sense of satisfaction, yet note the rancid kickback of him walking by without so much as a glance.

The fight will be over soon enough, but it's nonetheless awkward sharing space. Intently listening to hear his door close before going up to brush your teeth, hoping he won't be waiting outside when you're done, whether he's there to resume arguing or actually wants to go in there. Ultimately the second scenario is the worst. Arguing is "easy"; you know your mind and stick to your guns. But having someone you're in love with not try for contact inspires cracks in your cold foundation.

Tippy-toe is a straining emotional position to be in.

Eventually retiring to the bedroom it feels like you're going into a safe cocoon. Like you've managed to zigzag through dangerous turf, come out unscathed and can rest easy - but down the door handle goes and in he walks. 

Bunched up in his arms are the bedlinen he took with him not long ago and when he drops them on his side of the bed you know he ain't leaving. Really? 

"Baekhyun, you're out of your damn mind if you think you're sleeping in here…"

Walking along the foot of the bed, he disappears in the corner of your eye since you refuse to give him the attention of turning - but what you won't give, Baekhyun will apparently get. 

A sudden cold and rustling of covers; a dip of the mattress behind. At first you're too something to say anything, only irritably move to pull the cover back, but he grabs your wrist, tightly. Putting his head to the side of yours, his still damp hair falls on your ear, his deceptively calm breath barely audible. The wish to be had drowns whatever notion of pride or anger you've felt up till now - you ease the tension and when he roughly yanks your underwear down, he can't do it quickly enough, can't pull them from your feet quickly enough. As if he's never been gentle, his arm locks around your throat while the other forces your backside towards him; spitting in his hand, searching for your entrance, you can tell he's keyed up differently than normal. 

The spit does little for the friction, but it feels good, feels like he won't wait like a good boy. A firm grip on your side, an unfettered snap.

"Uhm!" 

You choke, clutching his arm. Can't wait for him to do it again. 

"Mhh!"

His thrusts are hard, as if he gathers all his energy before slamming his cock in. Over and over, grunting, sucking air through his teeth.

A mix of arousal and desire to physically portray his frustration drives his pace up; his jackhammering forcing you to press your palm to the mattress to prevent you from going forward and missing the severity of his thrusts, his flesh pounding against yours.

He takes a deep breath and you feel his chest trembling against your back when he exhales.

Slowing down, he turns your head by the chin and presses mouth and tongue onto yours then delivers another punishing snap. It turns him on when you yelp into his mouth. His excessive need for dominance turns you on too. His kissing grows deeper, his breath huskier, while he keeps at it.

Sliding your hand to your ass you spread your cheeks - Baekhyun looks down, pulls out, and with his jaw hanging, pushes his stiff cock against your anal, stretching it to open for him.

Holding onto your thigh, he slowly rounds his hips against you, moaning at this base show of dominance: fucking you who turned him away, in the ass. 

Bringing his hand up to lock your waist in place, he emits the lewdest sounds to match the enthralling pleasure of bouncing against your cheeks. 

His cock sliding in-and-out, his hold around your throat, his grunt, whine, breath - him. Fuck.

"Uh-hh……shhh…..uhh, uhh……..a-hh…." A deep breath, then he smacks faster, tighter…….groans, while erratically rolling against your cheeks, emptying himself inside. 

He lets go of your waist to drape his arm around you and exhales hotly against your back. A soft grunt and he slips out, closely followed by his cum as he kisses your shoulder blade. After a few moments in silence he slowly shakes his head with a sigh:

"You drive me out of my damn mind…"

¤¤

○

Looking up at the ceiling (the diffuse part of it you can make out), you think how funny things sometimes turn out. That side is still warm so he hasn't been gone for ages, but nevertheless the whole time you've been awake. What was it he said?

"I can't wait."

"Can't wait..? For this to be ov-"

"For you."

He was something indeed, just like the colleagues who knew him or of him had said - although you got the strong impression they didn't mean it as a  compliment and there was more than a grain of envy in their voices while saying it.

Either way, they way he had said that, "for you" didn't sound sleazy. Maybe because he didn't finish the sentence? Either way, you found - find - him to be quite sensual. 

"But where the hell is he…", you whisper, pushing the sheets to the side and walk out into the living room. It's almost as dark here, but the big window lets in more light from the street below so you make your way around quite easily. Walking a few steps towards the bathroom you definitely hear his voice from in there, so you gather he just stepped away to take a call so he wouldn't wake you up. Nothing to do but wait.

Gazing out the window is not an excuse, just something to do while you wait. But seeing as you are looking out the window you might as well lean a little, arch a bit, twist your knees a pinch.

When he finally comes out he doesn't immediately spot you; you can tell by the pause in his steps that he's seen you just now and is walking back behind the sofa. 

The flutter of waiting for him to come close is divine, not knowing which millisecond he'll reach out. His hands start at your waist, moving upwards to your breasts then down again.

"What are you doing up…", he asks seductively, kissing you on the shoulder, already looking for your entrance. 

"Enjoying the-mhh....the view."

As soon as he starts, he starts. And when you're built like him, why pace and wait? You couldn't believe how he stayed up last time, but somehow he did, and he's already making your bodies clap, digging his fingers in a little deeper. 

You've been with feral men before - you've been feral. But whatever this is, it's different. A vicious need reverberating inside your body; taking Baekhyun's energy, him taking yours. He cannot smack hard enough, can't go deep enough, grip and claw savagely enough, yet everything he does is teetering on being too hard, deep and savage. 

The window pane bangs and shutters when you put your hand up, but the marble sill stays quiet when it meets your foot. No questions asked he grabs the underside of your thigh, moaning to welcome the open access and rams straight up to electrify your core with the pressing of his tight balls as the icing on the cake.

God, why do you hope everyone down there can see you? Hope all those apartments with turned down lights hide people, looking from the shadows?

Growling, he puts his knee on the sill as well, letting it rest just under your thigh, snapping himself into you, crushing your ribcage, burying his face in your neck.

"U-hh……….u-hh……….u-hh………uh, you're draining me…." Biting your neck, he groans and slaps your clit. "Turn around……a-hh………chh…turn around…"

"I can't."

It's his wish, but he nonetheless pulls out with great reluctance, gripping your thigh hard, running his hand to rest, stroke, between your legs, snapping one, two, final times.

Hoisting you up on the ledge, putting one of his arms in the crook of your knee he leans forward, maybe for you to feel the pressure. Of course it's not comfortable, but that is part of the allure, especially with Baekhyun. The pure, wanton, vulgar.

"Can you take me like this?"

"I'll take you anyway you want me to."

Groaning with delight, he envelops his mouth over your lips, sliding his tongue over yours, moaning while steering himself right. After aligning, he slowly presses in, making you shiver with thrill. The cold window gives you a jolt - and well-needed cool down. Then he steadies himself with his other arm under your knee and starts. Rolling without a glitch, he goes from fast to faster, the faint lights from below illuminating his damp body and wet forehead. And, even though shadowed, his length is mouthwatering as it - covered in slick shine and veins - slides in-and-out, pressing to the shaft. The position is taxing, balancing takes a toll and he knows, so the crushing grip you have on the hair on the back of his head to keep steady doesn't seem to faze him. If anything it serves as pleasure, a raw reaction that further ignites him, makes him go from rolling to a straight, no-holds-barred, beat.

His palm hits the window with a louder pang than yours did - with a wail he pounds all his weight into you - he'll break my back - coming, dousing your insides with semen.

Grabbing your waist with both hands he thrusts.

"Aghh!" And again. Leaning into a hug - again. 

Coming down his kisses trail your collarbone, neck, lips with his touch over back, waist, face.

In his soft hand, under his caressing thumb, your nipple tingles. Sounding like he's using the last bit of power he breathes in your ear.

"Mh, you're so fucking sexy…"

Baekhyun being someone you just met doesn't matter; you know he means it. And that makes you feel sexy. 

"Don't fall, I'm lifting you", he says, putting his arm around your lower back.

"You'll drop me. I'll walk."

Shaking his head he goes for it, backing up 'til he feels the armchair against his calf then sits down. Still hard, he makes sure you go back on, even though it makes him knit his brows. You don't know if you could get tired of this feeling, but he…

"You're a bonafide freak…", you whisper above his lips.

Smiling, you think he's reaching to cover your mouth but slipping the middle finger in he lets you wet it and goes round; parts, strokes, then pushes.

"Tsh-ahh…"

You can't help arching, circling, when he rounds his finger upwards-

"Don't move", he asks, not so much because of overstimulation, more dominant. Placing his hand on the side of your neck he gently fixes it towards himself. "Just look at me."

Even if it weren't for the night his eyes would've been jet-black, but somehow deep. Intimidating, yet comforting to meet.

The leather feels nice and cool against your shins, being in a seated, normal, position feels nice, feeling Baekhyun's finger darting in-and-out of your ass feels nice.

So when he pulls out and lifts you by the waist you're disappointed, but steering his cock back he puts it against your ring.

"Can you..?"

Raising himself up to show he's serious is enough - with the slip of his own cum you press down and let him in. Inhaling deeply, he cups your face and covers your mouth with his juicy lips and a whisper:

"Ah, I think it's your turn to fuck me…"

¤¤

The car crawls the final feet until it comes to a halt beside the curb. It's a quaint little neighbourhood; one-story houses and a broad street for kids in their 6's and 7's to play in without parents worrying about speeding cars. And indeed, further up the road some kids are playing five-a-side football (albeit with three per side), using makeshift goals one of the parents undoubtedly put together, delivering their strategies in carefree voices fit for this lazy day in suburbia. 

You let your hands relax from the awkward placement they've been in since you sat down and realised you were showing a bit more thigh than intended. To be honest, you didn't mind when he also noticed; in fact, you kinda liked it, and he hadn't been a creep about it. No, his eyes had automatically gone there, but he recovered and has been a gentleman since, making sure to only look above shoulder height. Leaving the keys in the ignition, he smiles.

"I'll be right back."

You really don't want to ask, but this small thing is better than being uncomfortable for the remainder of the date, so just as he heads up the driveway you open the door on the passenger's side:

"Baekhyun..? Can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, of course."

Looking a pinch embarrassed or nervous, he pauses with the key still in the keyhole. 

"I haven't done any remodelling in the bathroom yet, so it's not shiny and white…"

"It's a bathroom."

A shy smile and he opens the door, then gestures towards the end of the hall.

"I'll only be a minute."

"Me too."

Looking around the tiny space you think he wasn't lying. It's not completely run down, but with its wooden interior from at least three decades ago, beige tile flooring, one-foot sink - and even a bar of soap instead of pump - there's definitely room for improvement. A fixer upper. But it's a bathroom.

Not having much to do - as one never does while on the toilet - you clasp your hands and look at your feet when the door (the lock?) clicks.

"I'm still in here..!", you call out, now stressed he might not have heard and accidentally walk in. Or that he'll be blushing at the other side of the door, also thinking what might’ve happened. 

After finishing up you take a breath, determined to not let this be a defining moment, because you'll laugh about it in two hours. It's fine. 

You sort of bump into the door while taking a step without it opening. Oh. Turning the key again you try again, but it still won't go. Great. One more try, turning, yanking inwards, then pressing the handle down. Nothing. 

"Baekhyun?", you chuckle. "I think… I think the door is stuck…"

Not getting a response, you knock on the door, call out louder:

"Baekhyun..! I can't open the door..!"

Shoving with your shoulder, trying to exactly match the turn with pushing down the handle doesn't do anything either.Where is he, why doesn't he hear me? Turning the key it just goes round, round, round, each click making the lump in your throat bigger. 

 No… 

No.

Kneeling, you take the key out and look through the hole, into the hallway, while a stinging sensation covers your now quivering body. 

Nothing but a clear view of the front door.

Silence. 

¤¤

Turning the magazine to its front you smile, but this cozy morning with Baekhyun is too sweet, so you keep it in its plastic, opting for a later read. Aow. Stepping on the threshold of the balcony is uncomfortable, so why do you do it?

"Do you believe in the Loch Ness monster..?"

"All of a sudden?"

The sun isn't hitting the balcony directly but he still squints when he looks your way. Holding up this month's National Geographic you show him the reason for your sudden interest. 

"Haha. I haven't thought about it. Do you? You do, I know you do."

"No. I don't, but-"

"Buuut?'

"No. I don't. But I guess I'd like it - them - to be real. It would be like almost seeing a dinosaur, a Brachiosaurus. The ones with the long neck, you know."

Dropping the magazine on the table you see Baekhyun smiling and know exactly why, so you put your hand up.

"Don't say it."

"Wh-what..?"

"I know you were gonna say something about how you've got a long yada, yada, Baekhyun."

He bursts out laughing. He can be a total dweeb sometimes, which is an incredibly endearing contrast to his serious and cool side and makes your heart flutter with light.

"Okay. But if you're curious we can go inside and I'll show you…"

"Why go inside?", you challenge him. "Show me right here."

You said it as a joke, but actually, why go inside..? Baekhyun's eyes zigzag before settling on your face. Lowering his voice he speaks cautiously - warning against, but also…

"The neighbours… Mrs. Janczak is out on her balcony…"

When you sit down on the rug he turns his body to face yours, but keeps a nervous hand on the hem of his shorts.

"Unless she has x-ray vision she's hardly gonna see from down there."

Surveying the building across the yard for a few seconds, he gathers the coast is clear, stretches out the waistband and raises up his cock. 

Even now, he's got such an adorable expression of nerves mixed in with his arousal and when you push your mouth down the head he moans in the most shaky of voices. He isn't fully hard yet, so he grows and stiffens with each nod of your head. Emitting a sound too loud for his comfort makes him look around again, fearing he's been caught. 

"Baekhyun, relax…", you whisper, slowly pumping him. "...or do you want me to stop..?"

Taking a deep breath he shakes his head no (like you knew he would), so you continue sucking, letting him to the back of your throat. 

"Ah…."

 Closing your hand and lips tighter you focus on making him climax, wanting to feel his cum spurt into your mouth. 

"A-hh, f……. Wait. Here, move", he all of a sudden whispers in a hurry, sliding down from the chair to the rug, pushing his clothes down and when you start bending he stops you. Cupping his hand by your ear, voice dripping, he explains: "Sit on me."

He's not finished the sentence before pulling at your shorts and even only taking them off the one leg you feel like maybe someone is seeing, kind of nervous like he was. 

Having fallen into the moment, he sees only you; kissing with so much juice while you let yourself adjust to his size, but when your faster tempo won't allow for it you simply press your cheek to his, feeling his hands grab your t-shirt.

The summer makes even this short time warm quickly, makes the heat build up around your body as you smack down on his shaft. 

"H-hh…..h-hh……don't stop, I'm coming………ahh…..ah, shh" 

Filling his hands with your thighs, he drops his head to the chair and whines, pressing you down as he lets go of his semen while his smile twitches from the stimulation.

Sparing a few moments to calm down brings him back, rolling his head to the side to look at the building across.

"No one's out, right?", he asks breathing hard.

"No. No one…"

"Agh…mh…..let's go in."