q u e e n s d o n ' t .

Q. welcome to season three of the rank. we can’t say we’d like to be in your shoes, but everyone sure loves to watch every step you make. how are you feeling about this season ?? nervous ?? excited ?? do you have anything to lose by being here ??

A. ‘ oh, lord! i don’t think i have words for how i’m feelin’ right now! excited, definitely, but nervous too. i mean, i’m not an idiot - i know how the show works so i know i’m gonna have to do some not great stuff to people i probably like and i don’t feel great about it. that’s how this works, though, and that’s what i signed up for so that’s what i’m going to do. i’m just hopin’ and prayin’ nothin’ i have to do is too awful. as for if i have anything to lose? oh, i don’t know. my dignity, my family’s love and affection, my job. y’know...the usual. ’

Q. describe yourself in fifteen words. be honest or not. but make it memorable for us.

A. ‘ shit, you know i have the gift of gab, right? this is too hard for a girl who can’t shut up y’all, okay, okay. here we go: backwoods sweetheart who ain’t afraid to get her hands a little dirty if she’s gotta. ha! i think i even shocked myself with that one. ’

Q. who do you think you’ll be spending the most time with during your time here ?? do you think that they’ll have said you ??

A. ‘ honestly, i’m not sure? i mean, i’m sure i’ll be spendin’ a decent amount of time with kieran considerin’ just how often i get myself in trouble. sorry bud. but, uh, i wouldn’t mind seein’ more of sena, too. we’re not as close as we used to be obviously, but it’d be nice to get a little of that back. ’

Q. consider this an offer: if this goes well, would you come back next season ??

A. ‘ if it goes well hopefully i won’t need to, but we’ll see. maybe it’ll be such a good time i’ll come back regardless. kinda doubt it, though. ’

Q. we hope your enjoying the house so far. hopefully it’s been calm because it won’t stay that way for long. but how has it been ?? how do you feel about the people you will be living with for the next few months ??  any standouts ?? is there anything — or anyone — that worries you ??

A. ‘ the house has been...amazin’. like, this is absolutely bonkers. i don’t think i’ve ever even looked at a place this nice. and as far as the people go, i can’t complain! i can definitely see how personalities are gonna clash and how drama will be through the roof, but i’m tryin’ to stay as neutral as i can ‘cause lord knows i’ll be in the thick of it as well. so, i guess everyone worries me, kinda? it’s a dog eat dog world or somethin’ like that. ’

Q. is there anything, if asked, that you wouldn’t do ?? how far would you go to see your rank increase ?? would you get a tattoo ?? would you spill a secret that wasn’t yours to tell ?? would you hurt someone ?? — don’t worry about us asking. we’re only curious.

A. ‘ i’ll tell y’all right now i ain’t about to maim or kill anyone for this show, okay? other than that? ahhh, directly hurting the people i care about most in the house. i think, anyway. we’ll see how desperate i get, i guess. ’

Q. last but not least: leave a comment for the viewers. don’t let them forget you.

name: rhett 🎭ringtone: save a horse, ride a cowboy by big & richlast text:

bruise: the worst wound you’ve ever received

‘ i was six and literally fell out of a tree. i broke my wrist and since i was the worst growin’ up, i kept finding ways to slip my arm out of my cast. a.k.a. usin’ the vise grip in grandpa’s garage - perks of bein’ a scrawny little shit. anyway. the bone never healed correctly and now it doesn’t move how it should and aches when it rains. ’

knife: something you’re good at cooking or baking

‘ anythin’ and everythin’ comfort food. my mac ‘n cheese is bomb and i can actually grill a mean steak, believe it or not? growin’ up in the middle of nowhere had it’s perks. ’ 

corpse: something you would love to do but can’t

name: hbic 💋ringtone: hell on heels by the pistol annieslast text:

LIA: sometiesm i wonder if you xever get mad at me for callinlg yfou reeses ipeces

LIA: not likle it's ja mean nicankem bemcause reese's pieces aere hso fuckinkg gojod

LIA: maybe thaty's why you're named reese ?

REESE: sugar, no! why on earth would i ever get mad at you for that?

REESE: 100% why my parents named me reese. both v big fans of reese's.

             MACEO WRUNG THEIR HAIR out with a towel, eyelids barely open as they maneuvered through their nightly routine — one that included showering, and possibly getting something to eat, their stomach growling with each second that they waste. truthfully, they only did that to avoid other people ( especially since a handful of the other contestants didn’t particularly take a liking to maceo ). pulling a shirt over their head just as they hear their door creaking open, the brunette chuckled, shaking their head a bit as they brushed a hand through their hair. “ yea, ’m good. ” with few quick steps, they were at their doorway, squinting a bit as they didn’t have their glasses on. “ i’d be down, sure. what were you thinkin’ ? ” they asked, leading both of them out and down the hallway. “ i can only eat specific things. ”

        being that this was his first season on the rank, it might’ve occurred to kieran to actually play nice before pissing people off. however, he had gotten far too drunk the night before and was nursing, perhaps, one of the worst hangovers known to man. he found himself leaning against the granite counter top in the kitchen, the cool stone like heaven to his skin, with a mug of coffee next to him. wincing as someone else entered, he held a hand out before sitting up. “ god, please. ” he muttered, voice hoarse as he squinted at them. “ do you have to make so much noise ?? ”

irritation was written across ardeth’s features, clear in the way her lips were pursed and her jaw clenched. her phone was set down on the table in front of her and it was clear by the look she was directing at it that it was the source of her ire. but it was fine. rather, it would be. just because the producers said this week’s guest cancelled on her ( last minute, again ) wasn’t the end of the world. she would find someone new. she would fix it. she always did.

she looked up, her eyes landing on the person closest to her. a pensive expression crossed her face before she cleared her throat. “ do you want to be on good morning glory this friday ?? ” she would never admit how much it pained her to have to ask this — after all, she couldn’t say she was all too fond of the rest of her rank co-stars ( it was too soon to tell truthfully ) “ we could use someone to sit in for a ten minute segment. you could talk about whatever — i really don’t care at this point. ” 

despite living in los angeles for the past three (3) ish years, reese still wasn’t used to the casual way people threw around their fame ( or pseudo fame when it came to some ). that was just in reese’s regular, day-to-day life when she only spent a very limited amount of time with celebrities. now? living with them? reese’s head hadn’t stopped spinning. sure, she’d probably done a piece on a few of them once or twice, but nothing that would be more than a blimp on their radar and certainly not enough for reese to actually feel like she knew them.

so, when ardeth galloway seemingly asked reese to be on her show, she was understandably confused. slowly closing the macbook in front of her, reese turned to make sure ardeth was actually talking to her. ‘ you know i’m probably the least interestin’ person in this house, right? ’ chuckling, reese shrugged a shoulder. ‘ but hey, if you’re truly desperate, i guess i could rock your viewers’ world with my knowledge about cattle and farmin’. ‘ it would come as no surprise if reese’s sense of humor did little to raise ardeth’s spirits, so it was only fair she get a little serious and offer up some real solutions. ‘ if you’re really hard pressed to find someone though, i’ve got a couple of connections i could reach out to that owe me a favor? if you’re interested, that is. ’

*  ☆*ﾟ— REESE / @baebrams

the difficult part was making it seem like she hadn’t been waiting for reese to walk in, bouncing her house keys in her palm and doing her best impersonation of someone who was meant to be there. beatriz had had to nod to people she wished she hadn’t seen and waved off the cameras. “ reese, my saviour, my angel, my hero. need a quick favour. just a few miles. i’ll give you gas money. and i’ll buy you whatever you want from trader joe’s. peanut butter cups and cheese fondue kits included. one item per customer though. ”

it was hard to imagine reese’s world becoming any more hectic than it already had been, but then again joining a successful reality tv show does add a little more to one’s plate. still, reese was naively excited. she ducked past a retreating camera crew and was immediately greeted by bea, who needed a ride. of course. classic bea. “ don’t even worry about it, bea. ” reese waved off her offer of gas money and pulled her keys out of her back pocket, “ just promise me a quote when my editor needs some ‘ inside scoop ’ on what life on the rank is really like. ’ reese smirked as she strode towards the door. ‘ and i’ll take scandanavian swimmers, please and thanks. ’ pulling the door open, reese motioned for beatriz to lead the way to the jeep. ‘ after you, darlin’. ’

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

reese → i need ice cream...reese → like yesterday.reese → pls come with me to get ice cream i can’t handle the cashier’s judgment by myself!reese → be my shame buffer please?!?!

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

reese → my sweetest kieran, good luck at your fight tonight and i want ya to know i’m there in spirit.reese → as per usual, this is counterproductive and wildly contradictory.reese → but please, for the love of all that is holy be safe and come back with minimal injuries.reese → ‘kay thanks love ya byeeeee!

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

reese → do yuo evr think ma ybe we coulda made it ?reese → li ke if we met a litle latr or smthng? ca use i thnk abt it a lo t n it makes me so sa d.reese → i miss yuo. like aaaaaallllll the time.reese → mayb th ats y i wrk all th e time. so i dnt thhnk abt missin yuo so much..

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.