q: welcome to season three of the rank. we can’t say we’d like to be in your shoes, but everyone sure loves to watch every step you make. how are you feeling about this season ?? nervous ?? excited ?? do you have anything to lose by being here?

a: i’m not really nervous or excited, i’m just curious about what the producers have in store for us. boxing and reality tv doesn’t really correlate, so no, i guess i really don’t have anything to lose. other than my relationships, obviously.

q: describe yourself in fifteen words. be honest or not. but make it memorable for us.

a: i don’t really give a shit what anyone thinks about me. i guess that’s eleven words, but whatever.

q: who do you think you’ll be spending the most time with during your time here ?? do you think that they’ll have said you ??

a: reese, probably. someone’s gotta save her ass every time she gets in trouble... she’s a handful, but no one else is gonna do it. maybe cecilia too, who knows? but, yeah, i think they’ll probably say the same about me. 

q: consider this an offer: if this goes well, would you come back next season ??

a: it’s a little too soon for me to make a decision on that, isn’t it ?? i guess we’ll just have to see how everything goes and if i fuck shit up enough for the producers to want me back.

q: we hope your enjoying the house so far. hopefully it’s been calm because it won’t stay that way for long. but how has it been ?? how do you feel about the people you will be living with for the next few months ?? any standouts ?? is there anything — or anyone — that worries you ??

a: half the people here have sticks up their asses, like damn, i didn’t think some of hollywood’s “rising elite” were going to be so fucking frigid, but alright. it’s better for me that way, though, i guess it’ll be easier to screw ‘em over when it comes time for the producers to dole out their tasks. the other half seem nice, i guess, but no one’s really been worthy enough to really standout to me, so i’m not worried about anyone.

q: is there anything, if asked, that you wouldn’t do ?? how far would you go to see your rank increase ?? would you get a tattoo ?? would you spill a secret that wasn’t yours to tell ?? would you hurt someone ?? — don’t worry about us asking. we’re only curious.

a: i’ll do whatever the fuck i need to do to make it through these three months and keep my career in check. these people aren’t my friends and even if they do somehow become them, who’s to say that shit is going to last past the season ??

q: last but not least: leave a comment for the viewers. don’t let them forget you.

THE INTERVIEWER welcome to season three of the rank. we can’t say we’d like to be in your shoes, but everyone sure loves to watch every step you make. how are you feeling about this season ?? nervous ?? excited ?? do you have anything to lose by being here ??

his ENERGY is alarmingly ENTHUSIASTIC. when he SMILES he shows his TEETH. BEATRIZ contemplates the question. the room is QUIET as she does so. she has prepared NOTES for some of her answers, but not all. she does not consult her NOTES before she answers.

BEATRIZ those sound like two different questions.

BEATRIZ has earned a reputation among both PRODUCERS and PRESS for being difficult to get ANSWERS from. the INTERVIEWER laughs nervously.

THE INTERVIEWER oh, they are. answer whichever you like first. 

BEATRIZ i suppose you could say i’m resigned.

she is a WRITER. the word is chosen CAREFULLY. she crosses her LEGS, putting one KNEE over the OTHER and shifting in her seat.

BEATRIZ and you could say the rank is entertaining solely because we all have something to lose. points. our reputations. fill in the blank. so, i’m feeling resigned, and of course i have things to lose by being here.

she is SATISFIED with her ANSWER. the DIRECTOR motions to the INTERVIEWER to move on to the next question without responding to BEATRIZ. 

there is NOTHING to say to HER.

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describe yourself in fifteen words. be honest or not. but make it memorable for us.

snowbea stir fry @beagotsicker people always ask me what i’m listening to on my headphones and what my favourite lyrics are so here’s a thread  12:09 AM - 24 Feb 2018

snowbea stir fry @beagotsicker ' an ocean of violets in bloom ’ from when doves cry - isn’t that such a lovely thing to aspire to be ? someone who loves so much they can make the flowers blossom ? i miss prince. 12:17 AM - 24 Feb 2018

snowbea stir fry @beagotsicker ' living so last night feels like a past life ’ from nikes - this line made me tremble the first time i heard it because it felt like he plucked it from my desires. frank is so, so good at narratives, and this line alone has multitudes. i wish i could write lines like this. 12:21 AM - 24 Feb 2018 

snowbea stir fry @beagotsicker current honourable mentions are from mama said knock you out, six inch, santa baby, lost in the world, and the less i know the better.  01:46 AM - 24 Feb 2018

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im gonna answer these later im too tired and this is already late lol

who do you think you’ll be spending the most time with during your time here ?? do you think that they’ll have said you ??

put smthng here

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consider this an offer: if this goes well, would you come back next season ??

email resign here

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we can’t say that we’re not glad to see you return to this season, but tell us why — why did you come back to us ?? is it the attention ?? the drama ?? be real — if it’s the money, let us know — we’ll make sure that you earn it.

texts to elliot here

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so many new faces sprinkled in with our veterans. is there anyone you know ?? is there anyone you wish wasn’t cast ??

put a thing here

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in your past seasons, what was the most remarkable thing you’ve had to do for us ??did you regret it ?? would you do it again if you had to ??

BEA FINALLY GROWS SOME BALLS ??? REACTING TO EPISODE TEN OF THE RANK 1,438,633 views

charliereacts published on aug 17, 2017

00:01 CHARLIE: hey what’s up guys, welcome back to another episode of charlie reacts, today we’ll be reacting to the new episode of the rank. 

09:57 CHARLIE: is bea really gonna ?? holy shit — no. nevermind. she’s not. 

16:22 CHARLIE: bea is the most boring person on this entire show. will she ever do a task ?

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last but not least: leave a comment for the viewers. don’t let them forget you.

DIARY.

31 december, 2017. 11:59 pm.

i. welcome to season three of the rank. we can’t say we’d like to be in your shoes, but everyone sure loves to watch every step you make. how are you feeling about this season ?? nervous ?? excited ?? do you have anything to lose by being here ??

“thank you ! it’s great to be here, honestly. i’m pretty excited at the moment, just because i’m in a house with some of the biggest stars in the world, but also a bit nervous because i feel like my excitement might change in a couple days. i hope it doesn’t, though ! i can’t say with certainty that i have anything to lose, really. possibly my reputation, but who knows if i even have that.”

ii. describe yourself in fifteen words. be honest or not. but make it memorable for us.

“oh ! you’re really putting me on the spot here. uh... a tall loser who once roasted rebecca black and is occasionally funny on the internet. that was fifteen, right ?”

iii. who do you think you’ll be spending the most time with during your time here ?? do you think that they’ll have said you ??

“another hard one ! honestly, i’m gonna be lame and say i hope i get to know and spend time with everyone !”

iv. consider this an offer: if this goes well, would you come back next season ??

“yeah, i don’t see why not. i mean, as long as lana del rey isn’t performing at coachella again next year, i have nothing better to do, you know ?”

v. we hope your enjoying the house so far. hopefully it’s been calm because it won’t stay that way for long. but how has it been ?? how do you feel about the people you will be living with for the next few months ?? any standouts ?? is there anything — or anyone — that worries you ??

“it’s been great ! it’s beautiful here and while some people are more... independent than others, everyone has seemed pretty nice so far, sorry to disappoint all of you drama seekers.”

vi. is there anything, if asked, that you wouldn’t do ??how far would you go to see your rank increase ?? would you get a tattoo ?? would you spill a secret that wasn’t yours to tell ?? would you hurt someone ?? — don’t worry about us asking. we’re only curious.

“i really don’t see myself purposely betraying or hurting someone else, but i guess we’ll have to see when we get to that point !”

vii. last but not least: leave a comment for the viewers. don’t let them forget you.

Q — welcome to season three of the rank. we can’t say we’d like to be in your shoes, but everyone sure loves to watch every step you make. how are you feeling about this season ?? nervous ?? excited ?? do you have anything to lose by being here ??

TONI — “ well, the excitement has worn off a little considering it’s my second time up in this bitch, so i’m chillin’. however, it doesn’t mean i don’t have high hopes for this season — because i do. i’m coming to this season with a lot more experience and a few tricks up my sleeve that i can’t wait to reveal. last season was fun but i was learning how to play the game as i went, but now i know exactly what i’m capable of. anything to lose? you would think so, but nope. instead of losing clients due to all the stupid shit i was doing, i actually gained them which only goes to show how fucked up this industry is. anyways, i’m making hella bank right now and i expect to make even more by the time this season ends. ”

Q — describe yourself in fifteen words. be honest or not. but make it memorable for us.

TONI — “ fifteen words is not enough to describe my greatness but i’ll try. let’s see... insanely attractive man without a care in the world, great hair and an enormous penis. don’t believe me? i’m sure the producers have some unaired footage somewhere. ”

Q — who do you think you’ll be spending the most time with during your time here ?? do you think that they’ll have said you ??

TONI — “ like last season, you really won’t see me with one person for a long time as i like to associate myself with everyone. you can’t be up someone’s ass the entire season ‘cause that’s just gonna ruin your game. developing relationships with someone will only put a target on your back and once someone hits that target it’s gonna hurt like a bitch. i saw it happen way too many times on season 2, so you bet i won’t be making that mistake. sure, i’ll give people the illusion that i’m close with them but at the end of the day, i’ll be looking out for myself and my points. ”

Q — consider this an offer: if this goes well, would you come back next season ??

TONI — “ most likely, yes. like i said before, being on season 2 did wonders for me so why wouldn’t i come back? some of the things that happen in this house is so incredibly stupid that it hurt to not experience it first hand. ”

Q — we can’t say that we’re not glad to see you return to this season, but tell us why — why did you come back to us ?? is it the attention ?? the drama ?? be real — if it’s the money, let us know — we’ll make sure that you earn it.

TONI — “ well, i for sure didn’t come here to find love or anything stupid like that. if anyone says that they’re here for the ‘experience’ they’re full of shit. we’re all here for one thing and one thing only— attention. we all want to be trending on twitter, we all want people to recognize us on the street because inevitably it will lead to fame and money. i’ve seen people put on the innocent act but once they get their first challenge they’re willing to backstab their own grandma if it gets them a few points. ”

Q — so many new faces sprinkled in with our veterans. is there anyone you know ?? is there anyone you wish wasn’t cast ??

TONI — “ i know those who were on season 2 with me like elliot — he put on quite a show. i’m kinda friends with cecelia but don’t tell her i said that, i don’t want her to get any ideas. you should ask bronte about me sometime just for the shits and giggles. i don’t really have any beef with anyone in the cast so there’s no-one i wish wasn't here but then again, filming has only just started and nobody has screwed me over yet.”

Q — in your past seasons, what was the most remarkable thing you’ve had to do for us ?? did you regret it ?? would you do it again if you had to ??

TONI — “ man, let me just think back to my highlight reel. i mean, the credit really goes to you sick fucks for even making me break up such a happy couple. alright, you guys remember macy? the southern belle who swore that she wouldn’t have sex until she was married and actually had a fiancee at home in wisconsin or whatever she was from? well, i think it was just her fiancee that she didn’t like because all it took was a little flirting and she was handcuffing me to my bed riding me like a cowboy. anyways, the hubby wasn’t too happy and i think broke off the engagement or whatever. ”

Q — last but not least: leave a comment for the viewers. don’t let them forget you.