come join the bad bitch club

my mom is convinced that kim k is becoming a lawyer so trump can appoint her attorney general

ur mom is woker than everyone here combined

what does it mean when they always come back to you

You leave the door open

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

I can’t wait until like twenty years after weed is fully legalized and nobody cares anymore and comedians have to make real movies with real jokes

White people

honestly if someone tenderly cradled my face i think at this point i would probably blackout

ladies are u all ok

no

“hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-” “haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE”