are you unemployed? has it been a while since youve thought about killing yourself? dont worry, indeed dot com can change one of those things

a

not evil anymore i want to be loved now

evil again

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

"I guess I would scream too if I knew a God could hear me" is too much of a raw line to come from a tik tok about a cat

it’s always either “if someone doesn’t text me I’ll die right now” or “if someone texts me ill fucking kill myself”

wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.