Babotus

I am very much a mood reader.

In my bookclub the question of ‘Why did you give this rating?’ is often asked. And more often than not I am unable to answer it.

Why was something 4 stars instead of 5? Why not 3,5? Why did I give a book 4,75 stars instead of simply granting it the ‘ultimate rating’ of 5 stars?

In my work I would write down definitions, I would establish comparisons for each rating, I would tie logic into each review so that it would make sense to anyone that looked at it.

But when I’m finished with a book I base my review more on the feeling I am left with than any definable logic. Sure, a book needs to be written in a style I like. I want to like (or passionately despise) the characters. I want a story that goes somewhere.

But if I close the book and it still makes me think… of a message… a character… even just one sentence… Then it will usually get a high rating from me.

They just stick.

They come at the right time and place, the right phase in your life and the right mindset to receive the message.

Sometimes a story simply does not resonate because you are either past the moment it would have or not ready for it yet. Maybe it was simply not intended for you, but instead for someone you might never meet.

I have never been much of a rereader, but I have started with that as well.

Maybe I will find new highlights in my old favourites, maybe I will question why I ever loved it or maybe I will fall back into the warm embrace of nostalgia. I am sure that in my life as a reader, and I truly believe I have lived with stories my whole life, there are ones that used to resonate with me when I was younger and won’t now. And even more that will always continue to occupy a special place in my heart.

I look back at my previous self, the one a year ago, two years, five years.. I have grown so much in that time, but who hasn’t? The world has changed so much, and will continue to do such. We are simply dragged along by that river of change into who we will never imagine we would be able to become.

And one way to look back at who you were before is by looking back at the quotes that resonated with you at that time.

So that is my goal with this blog! A place for those quotes that made me laugh, think, or were simply noteworthy enough for me to mark them while reading.

A place for me to reflect on who I am, maybe in a few years on who I was. Maybe this is a one time fluke, which I will rediscover when curiosity gets the better of me and I redownload that app I never used. Maybe it will all be gone in a few years (although nothing truly disappears on the internet, does it?).

For now this is a challenge for myself.

A practice in thoughtfulness.

And a creative outlet.

Advertised as Medieval Horror, I don’t think this book could’ve hit the mark harder than it has. It was truly horrifying, vulgar and the way it brought cursed medieval paintings to life will be hard to rival by any author.

The characters within this book, the way they develop throughout their journey and eventually accept their faith. As well as all the people they encounter along the way and the forces they have to battle— it was all beautifully written and thoroughly enjoyable. Even for someone who is not very knowledgeable on literature surrounding this religion.

I used this book for another check in the HRCYED 3.0. This time for the Choose your party prompt. I play quite a bit of D&D, and I think this is the most paladin like character I’ll find in a book meant to combine history and fiction.

I have given this book 4.5 stars.

“The knight, the priest, and the girl”

— Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

“Love means weathering blows for another's sake and not counting them.”

— Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

“Daughter witch page saint prophet angel what are you what are you”

— Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

“And if all that was left for him to do was fight, he would fight to frighten Lucifer,”

— Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman

“Well, I do what I say. Which is why I don't say much.”

I realise the frustration this book causes is exactly the point. The main character is so sucked into her own lies that she starts to justify and believe them herself. The way the publishing industry is portrayed is probably too close for comfort for those that earn money through their less than savoury practices. Earlier this year I read The Ending Writes Itself by Evelyn Clarke and it shares many similar horror stories. The pretentiousness, the jealousy and conflicts amongst fellow authors and the continued fact that money goes before anything else within every facet of our society.

Although I do enjoy a character that is frustrating and unlikeable, I just couldn’t let go of the feeling that June caused within me. She kept making things worse, passing up the chances to be honest and attempt to fix her wrongs and truly rather be remembered as evil than forgotten. This reminds me of another book I read this year; Jezebel by Megan Barnard. Jezebel was also portrayed as a character who continues to dig her own grave deeper and deeper purely to have her name echoed in a time after the one she would know herself.

This simply isn’t the kind of character I enjoy reading about. I am glad she fucked up and had to face the music and I applaud the book for evoking these feelings within me. The book was written in a very digestible way, I raced through it, but I was also glad to be done with Juniper Song Hayward.

The second book in this deliciously strange series. I have truly fallen in love with how extensive the world building is, the many mysteries one can create when in full control of the world it takes place in. Every page feels like another layer of a new world I am fortunate that I don’t live in. It is described so extensively, every odd quirky and new science, yet it all continues to make sense. You simply have to love the weirdness of it all compared to the ordinariness of our own world.

I fell in love with the characters in the first book, and this sequel has only managed to deepen my enjoyment of their story. The additional characters and the relationships built within, as well as the entire search for that last puzzle piece of everything to make sense. It all just works.

Luckily I will only have to wait a little while for the third book to be published. That book will be part of my attempt at the light version of HRCYED. So I will certainly not wait long with jumping back into this world.

I gave this book 4.5 stars.

“Duty is thankless, invisible, forgettable but oh, so very necessary. ... Finish my story for me, so the next one can begin unblemished.”

— A Drop of Corruption by Robert Jackson Bennett

“Just keep an eye out for the fellow with testicles large enough to cause back deformities, and we shall have our culprit!”

— A Drop of Corruption by Robert Jackson Bennett

“A dead man cannot be greatly bothered by who owns the patch of earth he swings over-true?”

For me, this reading experience was very similar to A Little Life. The way the story is told, the writing style and the heavy subjects interweaved with the slice of life and humour. The only thing is that the characters are stranger, fitting for the small little town in the middle of nowhere where we all end up eventually.

The dementia theme hit very close to home, as it is something that occurs a lot in my family. My grandmother had it, my grandfathers mother had it and unfortunately I am sure more have had and will get this horrible illness that takes you apart from the inside.

The way the book presented this subject, alongside the themes of family, autism, addiction… it was handled perfectly. It had me hold my breath, cringe alongside Hai but also wanting to grab him by his shoulders and offer him the helping hand he so desperately needs.

This is also the first book I’ve read for the 25 prompt HRCYED— US Roadtrip. Although East-Gladness is a fictional town, it is in the beautiful (? Idk I’m European) state of Connecticut. So my first prompt done! My next read will not be towards the challenge, but I will mention once it is.

I gave this book 4.5 stars.

“The kind of day where you can fill in your scars with Magic Marker and tell yourself you're normal—and it might be true.”

— The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong

“There were times, too, when people were just people, which meant they were assholes.”

— The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong

“Because to remember is to fill the present with the past, which meant that the cost of remembering anything, anything at all, is life itself.”

— The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong

“Guess again. With more imagination."

— The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong

“You store these things that no one has ever seen and you go on living like that, your head a coffin to keep memories of the dead alive.”

— The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong

“Do you think a life you can't remember is still a good life?" “Yes, because someone else will remember it.”

— The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong

“"You're " she gestured at him, "a liggabit. Boy and boy, girl and girl. I see them in newspapers. Liggabit community."”

This novella was a good quick read, with a fascinating premise and a very interesting way of bringing the world alive. From the naive perspective of a young person who does not know any different, without anyone around him to tell him otherwise. Into a person who knows and has seen too much, and sees only one way to break out of the cycle.

I gave this book 4 stars.

“Preyed on the people's desperation, offered them a broken deal, then named them liars.”

— The Lies of the Ajungo by Moses Ose Utomi

“Lies we don't uproot because we are afraid of the emptiness they will leave behind.”

— The Lies of the Ajungo by Moses Ose Utomi

“An untongued people cannot tell their story.”

After some slower reads, I was happy to jump back into a Patel book. None of them have disappointed me as of yet. And with ten incarnations of rebellion I found another gem.

The different characters, motivations, feelings. The fascinatingly tragic world that was created by changing history. And the different ways people are made to feel less, to turn on each other instead of the bigger problem and how our choices can have so many unforeseen consequences, both positively and negatively.

I gave this book a 4.75.

“They had to have a reason to hurt us, to kill us, didn't they?”

— Ten Incarnations of Rebellion by Vaishnavi Patel

How many nameless would run into the breach of our bleeding land?

— Ten Incarnations of Rebellion by Vaishnavi Patel

“Whatever depth of feeling she was experiencing was, at that time, foreign to me.”

— Ten Incarnations of Rebellion by Vaishnavi Patel

“I knew they were, I knew it, and still it was hard to remember at this minute, when we hurt ourselves as badly as any foreigner.”

— Ten Incarnations of Rebellion by Vaishnavi Patel

“How many people were there who had possessed the audacity to fight for their own freedom, their fate now just a few papers in a burn room?”

— Ten Incarnations of Rebellion by Vaishnavi Patel

“The selfishness and selflessness that go hand in hand in revolution”

This book was filled with amazing quotes and a lot of different characters. I adore women who won’t be silenced and are allowed to scream, to make huge mistakes and have to face the consequences.

This book had so many moments that fleshed out the characters introduced in the first book, while also introducing quite a few new faces to the story. The book felt much more character development focused than story focused; completely different from the first book of this series. I can’t say this hit as well as the first book did, however it has kept me interested in the series and I can’t wait to see how it will be brought to a closure in book three.

So many good quotes, so many spoilers. Read further at your own risk. I have Vengeful three stars.

“When the marks on his back were still fresh, Eli told himself that he was growing wings. … He prayed that the pastor would stop seeing whatever he saw, while he carved new feathers into the torn wings of Ell's back.”

— Vengeful by V.E. Schwab

“Eli had never known there were so many kinds of happiness, let alone so many ways to express it.”

— Vengeful by V.E. Schwab

“Whatever's happened to you, however you're hurt, you've done it to yourself.”

— Vengeful by V.E. Schwab

"I've been to a hundred galleries, stared at a thousand paintings, waiting to feel inspired or awestruck or enamored —but the only thing I ever really felt was bored.”

In preparation of the release of Victorious I have read the first two books of the Villains series this month. I will always continue to enjoy shades of grey, and this book has so many.

The characterisation of Victor and Eli both in this book and the second is fascinating. The jealousy, dependency and differing ideology and how they are unable to understand each other, yet also unable to leave each other alone. It was extremely entertaining.

EO’s as a concept is also so fun. The different options and variants you can think of, as well as the ways one can experience a near death experience. It can get your brain to run wild.

I gave Vicious 4 stars

“All Eli had to do was smile. All Victor had to do was lie. Both proved frighteningly effective.”

— Vicious by V.E. Schwab

“Those who ally themselves with monsters are little better than monsters themselves.”

This short blurb is written from the perspective of one of my favourite D&D characters. One that has literally lost their sense of direction, and requires their party to lead them through the Feywild.

She was a character with which I could let all of my restrains go and be the chaotic creature that I truly am on the inside. Sometimes I don’t want to make the decisions, take the lead and carve the path forward. Sometimes I want a hand to hold and to close my eyes, knowing I will end up where I want/need to be. To bounce around a forest and the only thing I have to keep track of is if I see a familiar face within my peripheral vision.

But it is absolutely terrifying.

Giving up control has never been easy for me. I can’t do that with a lot of people. I wish I was less scared of the unknown, less scared of getting lost and more trusting of the people around me and their capability to help. This character was an exercise in letting go; of the responsibility of getting home, the responsibility of deciding which way to go and the influence on where we’d end up next.

We never managed to get this character’s sense of direction back. But where she at first was abandoned by those she held close due to being unable to keep up, she has travel companions around her who hold her hand and make sure she stays on the right path.

Our latest bookclub read; and what a journey. Right off the bat this book is simply fun. Science has never been my forte (I can’t wait to hear the review of our bookclub members that actually understands what’s happening) but I do believe I got the gist of it along the way.

But the character exploration, the story building by flashing back to what happened before, the absolute love that I have developed for Rocky.

Along the way you can’t help but start believing that everything will be okay. Although you know things can never be this easy, why shouldn’t they? Don’t they deserve it at this point? They always figure it out, so why not this time? And in the end, that is what happens. Not in the way anyone would have imagined at the beginning, but somehow in a very satisfying way anyways.

I will gladly read about math and science if it gives me another Rocky to love and another Grace to root for. Although it seems unlike that I will ever find anything to fill the hole they have left behind.

I’m definitely going to check out the movie as well. But for now, I gave (31) Project Hail Mary 4.5 stars.

“I typed on my computer, hoping he'd change the subject.”

— Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Same Grace, same.

“The average rectal temperature of a healthy goat, I can find that out! (It's 103.4°F / 39.7°C.)”

— Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Shout out to all the teachers that have to remember various odd facts to entertain their kids. Please give me more.

“I spend a lot of time un-suiciding this suicide mission.”

This is the second book by Vaishnavi Patel I’ve read, and it was once again an absolute pleasure. The themes of this book have become more and more important as of late, and reading about the experiences of those that stand closest to those affected.. if it doesn’t make you angry then it will make you sad.

The combination of mythology and modern times, of previous generations strive with demons and how it continues today, and how humanity truly does not need demons to be evil.

As well as the themes of mental health; of trying to do something good in the world but failing to see how things will ever change, how drowning in work and just continuing because stopping is not an option as well as the presence of family and how they can help you.

Although this book did not reach the emotional connection that Kaikeyi did for me, I still gave (29) We Dance Upon Demons 4.75 stars.

“Something about getting screamed at and called a baby-murderer fills me with just enough annoyance to power through the rest of the day.”

The Correspondent is a fun book. It is nothing I can necessarily relate to yet, maybe that will come with the years, but I did enjoy my time reading it.

It is unfortunate that there is no Dutch translation (yet). Otherwise I would’ve bought it for my grandpa and made him read it. Although he is more of a thriller and crime reader, I think he would like this book.

I enjoyed the unknowing of this book. The in between moments you will never learn about because they were never written down. The idea that the only way you can learn about someone is through their writing feels so unique. But although stories told like this is something I had not read before, it is not an unknown experience.

Anything that happened before the internet, we had to learn about through writing. Through the letter sent by kings, the recordings of merchants, the diaries of those that could write. Sure, the paintings, buildings and marks left on nature gave us a lot to learn as well. But they created the context in which we puzzle together history as we know it today. When you start to consider all that was lost because people simply were unable to put words to paper... The moments and people we will never learn about because we forgot them and have no way of recovering them..

This book was truly devastating.

It is not my usual genre. Not my usual themes. Nothing would bring me to pick up this book besides a challenge I set myself at the beginning of the year.

Once again the book bingo we created with our book club to start off 2026. This time the ‘A book recommended by a friend’ square.

They told me, ‘It is my favourite book and I recommend it to no one.’

So of course I had to read it.

I usually don’t get emotional by a book. It never really moves me the way that this book did. For a few days after finishing it, I could still feel the presence of the experience in the back of my mind. It was truly something unlike anything else I have ever read.

I can’t say if I enjoyed it. I don’t think this book is written to enjoy. But it definitely left its mark. An unforgettable experience.

“In life, sometimes nice things happen to good people. You don't need to worry-they don't happen as often as they should. But when they do, it's up to the good people to just say 'thank you, and move on, and maybe consider that the person who's doing the nice thing gets a bang out of it as well, and really isn't in the mood to hear all the reasons that the person for whom he's done the nice thing doesn't think he deserves it or isn't worthy of it."

— A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

This is very pleasing to read as a notorious gift giver towards people that think it’s too much. Just accept my love that comes in the form of gifts!!

Kaikeyi as a book is the definition of the right time and place. This book sat on my TBR for years. I don’t even remember how I found this book. But in February I decided that this was the right time.

And I truly am glad that I did. It not only came at just the right time in my life, where the message within resonated not only with myself but also with a friend of mine who I frequently share my reading experiences with. If I read this a couple of years ago, I would not have had that friend, I would not have felt this story so deeply.

But I also discovered a writer whose writing style just works. I have truly fallen in love with Vaishnavi Patel and the stories she creates. I have always been interested in different mythologies. And reading about one wholly unfamiliar, with names and gods and stories that are so far removed from my own culture yet continue to bring meaning outside of that context. It is a unique experience that I will never take for granted.

The quote that truly stuck with me much longer than just the moment I finished the book is the following;

"Then why do I feel wicked?" “Because those who are good question themselves. Because those who are good always wonder if there was a better way, a way that could have helped more and hurt less. That feeling is why you are good."

— Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel

Our bookclub started the year with creating a Book bingo-card. And as the wise person that I am, I decided to make one square that said ‘Read the longest book on your TBR’.

I assumed it was The Priory of the Orange Tree. Finally an excuse to sit down and read that unit!

I was wrong. It was in fact the third book in the Licanius Trilogy at a whole 830 pages.

Now, 830 pages on its own is not necessarily a problem. However, I had started this series quite a few years ago and stopped somewhere along the halfway mark of the second book. And I did not remember shit.

I remembered enjoying it. The world, the characters, the magic system. But there had also been a reason why I stopped.

So this square changed from a 830 page reading challenge, into a 2.277 page reading mountain. I never reread books, but it seems I might have to change that.

And I am so glad I did! I ended up reading all three books in January. I don’t know how I did it, but January was a HUGE reading month for me. It always is. Something about a fresh start, a new year with new goals, or simply a lot of extra time on my hands and nowhere to go with the bad weather.

A few other quotes I highlighted during this trilogy;

"You can put your trust in something that’s obvious, that's measurable or predictable-but that's not faith. Nor is believing in something that gives you no pause for doubt, no reason or desire to question. Faith is something more than that. By definition, it cannot have proof as its foundation."

— The Shadow of What Was Lost by James Islington

“The true evil is always in the reason and the excuse, not the act.”

— An Echo of Things to Come by James Islington

“You should never judge the sides of an argument simply by who is doing the arguing."

— The Light of All That Falls by James Islington

"Let's figure out how to turn you into a weapon."

— The Light of All That Falls by James Islington

I ended up rating them as follows;

(2) The Shadow of What Was Lost - 4.0

(4) An Echo of Things to Come - 3.5

(8) The Light of All That Falls - 4.5