literally just some guy

They just invented the world’s fastest sandwich. They’re calling it the autobáhn mì

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

okay. fine. i have a solution that will make no one happy. let's make pluto a planet. if we launch one tungsten cube per day for 200 years precisely aimed at pluto's surface it will become massive enough to gravitationally clear its orbit of other kuiper belt objects. this will be completely useless and extremely expensive as well as potentially dangerous. and it will destroy the heart

it's pride month, and while I usually spend every other month centering trans women, this month I'm going to center trans women even harder. happy pride to trans women. the world is better with you in it.

the grink was there. it didnt change anything but it still matters that the grink was there.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things ?

oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE