Sometimes I wish I had died at 11 when I first started becoming depressed

oh to be loved without having fear of being replaced or to be chosen without being compared

Being me is like waking up every morning and saying, “oh shit, I’m still alive.”

I find comfort in the thought that after death there’ll be nothing. I don’t wanna live forever. I don’t wanna have to endure my thoughts forever.

I don't know who I am without my pain

my brain feels so fucked up, i don't wanna be this way and i wish there was a way to make all the pain disappear

i want someone to truly fear losing me, even just once.

but how could anyone fear losing me when all i ever showed was that i'd stay no matter how they treated me?

There is violence in the way I hold myself together

my worst fear is that you ruined love for me. that i’ll never be able to believe someone genuinely loves me.