Azure’s Bullshit

He doesn’t scale off of hp. He doesn’t do that toby. Stop giving him acts and things that think he scales off hp.

He scales off magic.

Give him a fucking magic stat toby.

“Hp change=mercy” HE DIES IN TWO HITS TOBY.

He has been at 18-21 max magic since chapter fucking two.

If you give me flexScarf with a single stat change again I will cause the roaring myself.

He is being powercrept by the entire cast, I do not need “we have Noelle at home” I would like our wonderful and helpful teammate Ralsei.

Noelle is a better character than him and she is literally level 1

Why is he useless against titans and in the dark

Why does darkness constrict him literally at all

He is the actual shadow messiah why is “it’s too dark” even a concern for him

Therefore “what if we jumped Flowey the regular flower”

Is in the same camp as “what if the Mettaton Neo fight was real”

I don’t know the specifics but we’re fighting either Flowey or John’ “suspiciously Flowey shaped”

Like sans is being shitty enough to flowey and he’s like “I am going to MURDER that trashbag! he-“

“Only once” *(What.)

Flowey: “What.”

“You can kill him once, but I’m resetting afterwards. Gimme a sec I’ll go find a save point” *(WHAT.)

Like they’re nice and shit but they’ve still got some time traveller fucked up habits.

And Kris thinks it’s disturbing and hates it.

And the soul is like “man everyone sure has a habit of mumbling to themselves haha.”

You have lost. It’s a word now. People use it.

Like its only 4 ish times ive seen it in a fic but its a really funny pattern to me.

Like i think the idea is that it’s a gesture of like cooperation/compassion/assistance from the soul when it’s ability to speak is limited so it checks out thematically but the idea just tickles me

Imagine being puppetted by an eldritch being from beyond the stars but it just knows how to give manicures.

Like Cuthulu is there and is like “this nail polish is old and shitty but i can make do, just need more layers.”

This is made way funnier in versions where The Soul isn’t a real human, or its like a collective / homunculus.

Like shit this robot tulpa thing made of the memories of countless random people apparently got a nail salon worker in its pool lmao

The rest of the shadowguys have guns made of shadow magic and are more stylized

Pluey however, knows way too much about guns and so their guns are fully grounded and colored firearms which are actually like models of real weapons.

Like the rest of the shadowguys summon their cartoon tommguns, and pluey just pulls an actual real standard issue human-made rifle from his hat.

They’re still magic of course. But they’re like. WAY too realistic. They also work for other darkners which the other ones normally don’t.

Pluey does need to be nearby so they don’t disappear but they could fully just hand Jongler or Bats an actual gun and it would be fully functional.

Like this mf is good enough at magic to make fully responsive cats as summons, making a detailed gun is just a thing they can do.

The zappers are so FUCKING CUTE WHY ARE THEY IN THE ZAPPER T POSE.

AHHHHH Sorry I’m going insane I just really like Jongler.

Batts is good but give the other ones unique sprites you cowards. You yassified that Ruddin you can put some accessories on the Jongler. A bandanna is all it would take fox man.

Or uh

Temmie?

Sprites person?

I beg of thee.