check please

you so used to eating shrimps with the whimps why dont u try eating black eyed peas with the new year fleas.

Flirting asking earth to ditch its boring orbit and come hang out around The Hole

goodness gracious girl those tits are fucking fat as shit. hey what's up. they call me Insect Nightlife and every life decision i've ever made has ended up hurting someone at least in some small way. can i borrow 10$

life fans be like it gets good 40 years in

So excited to work as a scare actor for the second year in a row

FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A BITE TO EAT

My uncle works at Nintendo but he's just a lowly thrall in the coal mines. He doesn't know anything about the new Mario, and even if he did, the only thing he can think about anymore is the steaming ladleful of thin, yellowish gruel that the overseer slops into his battered tin bowl at the end of each ten hour shift.

When I'm bored at work I sometimes google extinct frogs and use the tape measure to conseptualize how big those would've been on my desk and just nod to myself "damn that was a big frog".