yikes.

tinder link in bio.

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

her pussy

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.

Fingerless gloves are the thigh highs of hands. I will not elaborate

wrong. ballroom gloves are the thigh highs of hands. fingerless gloves are the booty shorts of hands.

(voice of someone about to turn 30) it’s nice making friends. It’s nice to play together and have fun. It’s nice to hang out

citationless behavior

sourceless behavior

unsubstantiated behaviour

hold on i have to do everything

guy with depression: idk stories about time loops just kinda really resonate with me haha idk why

guy with depression: it's so sad when they're doing the same thing over and over again insisting this time it'll be different. it sure would suck if time loops were real!