Ayabug's Life

So with the documentary back on iplayer I tend to get an onslaught of people wondering whether there will be a follow up film and I can almost hear the hurried google searches to see if I am still alive.

AND TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I am. 

I have no idea why the film was put back on iplayer, I can only think it’s because it’s a bloody great film and should in fact stay on iplayer all the time, do you agree? yes, thought so. I am getting some lovely comments from people telling me they have watched the film with their kids, which I love. I love thinking about those healthy, slightly uncomfortable, but nonetheless important conversations happening about boobs and dying and life. I hope you are having them even if you don’t have children! It’s not all about children, after all……

Talking of children, I had my ovaries removed! So I have a few updates and one of them is that the ovaries had to be bid a fond au revoir in March following news that the cancer is active again. It has woken up and is once again ready to P.A.R.T.Y. I had a brain scan that revealed a new brain lesion and a body scan that revealed new liver lesions and a few new bones lesions thrown in for good measure. I had had a few headaches but that’s about it. All the changes are pretty small and not all that exciting, but obviously meaningful enough to look at what treatments I am having and possibly should be changing. A new game plan if you will. My oncologist thinks my hormone therapy has stopped working, but he still thought it wise to whip out my ovaries. So a nice man with a great tash carried out the op in March and I recovered pretty swiftly from that - they do it through keyhole would you believe and I was out the same day. Cos I am hardcore. But you know that by now…..

Here’s me on morphine and a hospital bed picnic (they didn’t even bother offering me hospital food….) HAPPY DAYS. 

To kill the pesky little brain lesion I had some more stereotactic radiotherapy, the same stuff I had on the last lesion, horribly tight face mask and all, which you see in my documentary. That was 4 years ago, and that did a great job so there’s nothing to say this frying session wont be just as successful. We do have the issue of knowing that something has changed, something new, or something that has been underlying for a while, has made the cancer active again. Big balls Oncologist wanted me on a very aggressive chemo which I said no to. And since then I have gathered myself a new team, including my oncologist who I have instructed to keep giving me hormone meds, bone juice, scans and blood tests, and I have been pulling in the over time on research into LOTS of other things too. These other things I am not ready to talk about yet due to the controversial nature of the “integrative” medicine and dare i say it “alternative” landscape. But what you do need to know is that I am doing well. Part of my team is my hospice, a masseuse, lots of healthy immune boosting foods and supplements, laughter and good times. When I can go into more detail, I will. 

My CoppaFeel! team have been wonderful and whilst I haven’t been at Boob HQ as much recently, I am still very much involved with CoppaFeel! and busy beavering away on FESTIFEEL right now, whilst they are keeping everything together back at the ranch. I am very lucky to have such a great team of women who have my back throughout all this. 

Since my last update I also managed to run a half marathon. That happened a few days before ovary removal, not long after I found out the latest news of shitness. My golly, if there was ever motivation to make your sorry ass run 13.1 miles then that would be it. I didn’t think it would have such meaning (apart form the ‘I AM NEVER DOING IT AGAIN’ meaning), but it did, and I was so happy to share it with some awesome people, the Unlikely Runners Club. 

I am writing this from Scotland. My treatments are allowing me to explore more of this beautiful planet for which I am really grateful. It can be HOT up here, and almost like the med - who knew!? 

So that’s the “what’s happening with Kris at the moment, and by that I mean, is she dead?” update. 

Lastly, a shameless plug. I am doing a trek in Iceland to raise big bucks for CoppaFeel! in August. Thasssssss right, this body ain’t crumbling on me yet! There will be over 60 of us, in collaboration with Fabulous magazine trekking about 60 miles in STUNNING Iceland and I could really use some help with reaching the ol’ fundraising target. If you can spare any pennies please do throw them this way please and thank you:

https://icelandcoppafeel.everydayhero.com/uk/kris-takes-on-iceland

Ovaries and out for now.

“born in the wrong body”

“they have a female/male body”

“male/female genitalia”

calling a trans person an “it” 

“i would have never guessed you were trans!” / “you don’t look trans!”

“you look better than me!” (as if trans people can’t look good unless they’re cis)

“i think you looked better before you became a boy/girl”

basically any transphobic slur i.e. “tr*nny”

“transgendered”