Strawberrywise

The Red Keep is different than she remembers it being, far colder and fR more hostile than years past. Bright, warm fires no longer shine against the walls, no longer do they ignite the halls and people with life. The air around her hosted a perilously cold chill, seeping into her bones with sharp, icy claws.

Memories flash aggressively as she walks the empty corridors, a life long passed flickering across her mind. A life no longer her reality.

The shrill, high-pitched laughter of children, her siblings, as they wrecked havoc on all around them. The chastising and yells of exhausted parents and septa’s as they chased them endlessly through the halls. The conditional love of her mother, who sold her at the first opportunity possible, who scolded and shunned her when she chose her bretrothed and his family over her and her traitorous brother.

Alicent was never a true mother to her anyway.

These walls were never her truely home. Her brothers were never truly her family.

But she has a new family now.

Her fingers ghost over the fabric of her dress, caressing the minuscule bump underneath her hand, as if she would magically feel the babe growing just beneath the skin. It wasn't planned. None of this was planned, really.

She's happy… she thinks as she walks slowly. Children were bright and innocent, unmarred by the cruel reality of this world- something she desperately misses. Perhaps, her child would bring some warmth to this stony castle and some light to their lives now that the war is almost over.

She presses her hand against the wall as goes, feeling the cold, moist stone underneath her fingers. It reminds her of Dragonstone for a moment and the firey smell of snoke and brimestone ghost over her nose like a painful memory. The thought alone makes her stomach churn painfully and her hand rips away from the wall before she presses it tightly against her sternum, trying to force down the rising bile.

It burns, clawing at her throat with dragon fire, forcing a cough out of her clenching throat. But she persists, her legs speeding up as she rushes back to her chambers- back to Jace. Two, armor clad guards flank her, mental jingling loudly as they rush forward, concern etched into their faces at her panic. But she pays them no mind, choosing instead to press her hand against her lips as she sprints towards the door just feet away.

It screeches under her grasps as she wrenches it open with a quivering gasp. With no warning, she slams it in her guards face, yelling desperately through the thick, impenetrable wood.

“D-do not, mmmmm,” she heaves and whines, pressing her face against the door, “d-do not let anyone in, ser’s”

Muffled, baritone voices sound through the wooden door, concern laced in their tone as they heed her commands, barring the room from entry. But she barely hears them as she sprints to the closest basin, clutching the white porcelain as she braces her body for the coming trials.

She heaves into it, spilling the contents of her guts into the clean basin with a loud, whimpering groan. Faintly, she can hear Jace stir through the commotion, a low whimper that resonates silently through her agony.

“Hggmmh,” she groans and heaves again, bile spilling out of her mouth, burning everything in its path. “N-no, no.”

Something shuffles towards her slowly, bare feet quietly plattering against the cold, stone ground as Jace moves. He winces as he approaches her hunched figure, his face twisting in pain as he extends a hand towards her before pressing it against her spine. She jolts under his touch and a low whimper escapes her lips once she dry heaves again.

“My love,” his voice is strained and weak, “what is wrong? Here, l-let me call for a maester.”

He turns to yell at the guards, but she reaches forward grasping onto his wrist with a shaking hand. The heaving doesn't stop however, and she whines even louder as bile dribbles down her lips and onto the stone floor. Jacaerys turns and holds her through, each sob and heave, stroking her back as he leans onto the wall in front of them for support. Pain spikes in his chest and back, but he ignores it in favor of her.

“Please, my love, speak to me. What is wrong?”

She pulls back from the basin, wiping her wrist across her lips as she heaves and cries for air. Her face is flush and dripping with sweat, bile and spit smeared against her chin and lips. She washes it away the best she can, dumping water onto her hand and scrubbing at her face desperately, trying to remove the disgusting ooze. They stand there in silence for a moment once she finishes, Jace palling with every passing second before she pulls away, gently guiding him back towards the bed.

“Do not fret over me, my prince,” she whispers and coughs slightly before helping him into the bed. “I am quite alright. There is nothing you can do to help me right now.”

He leans forward, grasping at her hands whilst he speaks softly, “but the maester-”

“I just returned from speaking with him, Jace. I-”

“Then what is wrong, my love?”

He brings her fingers up to his lips before pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to her knuckles as he looks up at her with glassy eyes. Through his dark, thick lashes, she can see his brown eyes flickering over her face, looking for any signs of sickness.

“If you would let me speak-”

“You need a gentle push occasionally,” he smirks and presses a kiss to the inside of her wrist, feeling her heart flutter under his lips. “You would not speak unless I demanded it of you. My wife prefers to keep her health a secret from her husband.”

“Yes, well when your husband is abed fighting for his life due to his own arrogance and-”

“His own arrogance, hmmm.” He presses his cheek against her palm, cocking an eyebrow up towards her as he whispers teasingly. “I keenly remember the battle being won. It would appear my arrogance is warranted, wouldn't you think?”

“N-no,” she pulls her hand away from her, tucking it against her stomach as she sits down next to him, the bed dipping under her weight. But, of course, his hands find hers again, his fingers intertwining with hers in her lap, thumb stroking the back of her hand. “No, not when you almost died for it, Jace. A victory is not worth anything if you are not here. Not when-”

She stops herself, her throat closing as her heart clenches painfully in her chest, her fingers trying to soothe the pain away.

But Jace pushes, “And yet, I live. And yet, my mother has been crowned queen, with me as her heir and you my princess.”

There's a long pause before she speak again, her voice strained and weak.

“I….. I watched as they carried you off of Moondancer, Jace. You were…. You were so grey, your skin so cold against mine… you were clinging to life by a thread. What would we do if we lost you that day?”

“You and mother-”

“No, Jace! Not…” she sighs and grabs his hand, pressing it against her stomach, stroking his fingers with hers. They tremble together and her body begins to uncontrollably shake, tears pooling her eyes as his widen. “Us. I would've been a widow… our child fatherless. And you sit here and pretend as if-”

“O-our child?”

The bed shakes as he moves, pressing his hand firmer against the growing expanse of her stomach, desperately trying to feel the life forming inside of her. Tears well in his eyes as he sits up, the pain no longer registering as adrenaline surges through him.

“Our child, Jace.”

“... you are?”

“Pregnant, yes.”

Everything shatters as he falls into her, pressing his face into her whilst a sob escapes his throat, his hands grasping at her shoulders. Her tears fall freely now, trailing down her face in cold streams and pooling in his dull, black hair. Slowly her hands trail up his arms before they tangle in the dark strands, pulling him even closer whilst rocking him as if he were a child.

She speaks first, “I suspected it for a while, in Dragonstone… before the battle. When they brought you back, so cold and lifeless, I-I assumed the worst and I broke…there was nothing left of me then……”

“I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.” He hiccups into her neck, his warm breath brushing against her skin.

“You fought for weeks, clinging to life like a babe clings to their mother. There were times that I thought all hope was lost, but here you are- flushed with life. Still clinging to me.”

A choked laugh escapes his lips and he pulls back, willing the tears away with trembling lips and hands. They smile at each other before he speaks, his voice wavering and he looks down at the small curve of her stomach.

“I would not have gone if I-”

“Yes you would have,” she presses her face against his, her nose bumping against the curve of his jaw. “You are too prideful, my prince.”

Small, pained laughter fills the air and he nuzzles his head against her before turning, pressing his nose against hers. His lips ghost over hers and she pulls back suddenly, wincing as he whines pathetically.

“I- I am unclean right now. Let me call-”

“I do not care.”

Immediately he pulls her back towards him, pressing his lips against her with a burning ferocity. She sighs into his lips, tilting her head and falling into the feeling of his body against hers. The kiss only lasts a few short moments, their lips moving together in perfect harmony, passion pulsing through their bodies.

He pulls back, his lips tickling her skin before he presses a chaste kiss to her lips, chuckling at the way she chases him for more. When they part, he stares at her for a moment, adoration filling his half-lidded gaze.

“How long?”

“The maester stated close to four moons. Which, according to my memories… would be quite accurate.”

His fingers find her stomach again, pressing against the small bump that blooms just beneath his hand. A gasp escapes him as his lips part, shock and love plastered onto his face.

“My child is-”

“Our child… I will not have my efforts diminish-”

“Our child. Our child is growing right here… I can scarcely believe it….” Suddenly he shoots up, groaning as he hobbles forward. With a loud gasp, she stands and follows him, her hands reaching out to pull him back into bed. “We need to inform my mother! We need to celebra-”

An exasperated groan escapes her lips and she rushes forward, blocking his path with a pointed glare.

“Jace! That can wait,” she laughs suddenly and grabs his shoulders, pulling him into her once more. Automatically, his hands find her waist, his fingers kneading at the covered skin. “For now, I would like to celebrate alone with my husband.”

“Alone?”

She slaps his shoulder, forcing a pained laugh from his lips, “not like that! Well………… maybe.”

He pushes her back and she falls against the bed, giggling as he gently lands on top of her, careful not to press too hard into her abdomen. It's not sexual, just purely playful as he shoves his face into her neck and smiles, his lips tickling her skin- forcing even more laughs from her lips. When he pulls back, he beams at her, his black curls beautifully framing his strong, perfect face.

“You have made me the happiest man in all of Westeros! I shall erect statues in your name, host parties in your honor! I can scarcely wait to meet them….” He presses his face against her neck again, sighing into her skin as her fingers thread at the nape of his neck, massaging the skin gently. “We shall have many children, I think. A small army to-”

“Let us get past the first one, my love.”

“Ahh, if you insist”

With a groan he shifts, plopping back against the pillows as the adrenaline leaves him, the pain settling back in.

“You over exerted yourself, haven't you?”

“No, I am quite alright. I am just resting my eyes for a moment.”

“Hmmm, sure.” She stands and looks down at him with barely concealed humor, before offering her his hand to help him move. “You should rest again, Jace. Far too much excitement and you'll certainly perish.”

With a groan he moves back against the head of the bed, falling into the pillows before smirking up at her with tired, glassy eyes.

“I am not so easy to kill, my love.”

“Yes, you are quite resilient, aren't you?” She presses a kiss to his forehead before trailing down his face, peppering him with love. His eyebrow, his eye, his nose, his cupid bow. They settle on his lips and she presses a soft kiss there, lingering as she whispers into his mouth. “Sleep, my love. We shall be here when you awaken.”

“Promise?”

You had to swallow down a giggle, raising your eyebrow at him. “Hi. What would you like to eat or drink?” You stood ready at the cash register, your eyes wandering to his lips as he opened and closed his mouth once again.

“Umm…yeah, I would like a…I’ll just take something hot please, to go.” The cute stranger tore his eyes away from you and fumbled with his wallet. A pretty blush crept up his neck “Whatever you recommend for me to have.”

My number then, you thought to yourself, but nodded in all seriousness as you tipped something into the screen. “The house’s special it is then, coming right up. What’s your name?”

He smiled at you then, nearly blinding you with it. “I’m Jace.”

Jace.

In your chest, little butterflies took flight.

As your colleague took over the line behind Jace, you got to work, giving some extra love into his coffee order as you drizzled some final touches of the good caramel on top and finally pressed a lid to the cup. The whole time, you could feel the boy’s eyes on you, not leaving you out of sight for once as he admired you.

Usually, you called out people’s names for their orders, but it wasn’t particularly full today and you could not deny that you had asked him out of curiosity. Jace still stood close to your side of the counter as you turned to him with a smile.

“Alright, Jace. House’s autumn special, I hope it’ll warm you up right away.” You told him sincerely and handed him the cup, your fingers brushing briefly and sending small lightning through you as he took it from you.

His eyes shifted to the name tag on your blouse before he paid up, sliding a generous tip into the little piggy bank between you. “I’m sure it’s amazing if you made it. Thank you.” He murmured your name as if he tasted every syllable for the first time in his life and as unexpected as he had come, he was gone and you wanted to melt into a puddle right behind the counter.

Ever since that fateful day, Jace had come back for more than just to-go orders. As the trees outside lost their leaves and the world was painted in red, orange and yellow, he mostly spent his free afternoons in the cozy seat by the window, his papers spread out in front of him on the table.

He was your most frequent customer and over time, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to his visits than just the good coffee and the occasional brownie treat he bought, especially when you sometimes caught him gazing at you and ignoring his homework.

By now, you knew what his order would be before he had even fully closed the door behind him or sometimes surprised him with a new little creation of yours in exchange for his honest opinion. (He always loved them.)

You liked the way he talked, a little flustered still but always happy to see you were there and how he always cleared his table so you wouldn’t have to, although it was your job.

You liked the way he could get lost in his books and papers for hours, biting his lip in concentration and absent-mindedly twirling one of his curls around his pointy finger as he took a sip of his warm drink.

You liked to know he was eating and drinking something you made, as if your slowly growing adoration for him could take root in his belly, filling him with warmth from the inside. He made you want to create and bake and become so much more than just his waitress for the rainy afternoons in autumn.

The nature of your timid relationship eventually began to change when he brought you flowers one time. You just had gotten out of the kitchen, a little flour still sticking to your cheek as you were greeted by a big bouquet which he held in front of his face. At your surprised gasp, he slowly lowered it and smiled at you, still blushing as he had on the day of your first meeting.

“I don’t want to hold you up, but the time I spend here is my highlight of the day and...this is for you.” He gingerly handed you the flowers over the counter and you almost walked around it and hugged him, a call from the kitchen stopping you from such impulsive desires.

But after the flowers, you both got a little braver.

You drew little hearts in the foam of his coffee orders and in return, your conversations became longer and longer when you had time in between rush hours. You sometimes recommended him books from the second-hand shelf in the corner and watched fondly when he was absorbed in the story the next day, your chest aching for something more with him outside of your working place.

But Jace seemed to be very polite, almost a little shy if the blush befalling him was any evidence every time you walked up to his table. And while you were desperately pining at this point, you were not brave enough yet to go beyond drawing little hearts on the boy’s coffee… 

One afternoon, you worked quietly behind the counter when a gust of autumn wind rushed into the café and a tall blond woman and two little boys walked in. Jace was sitting by the window, nose buried in a Donna Tartt paperback – he thought you did not notice, but you could feel his eyes on you from time to time – when he suddenly perked up and waved at them.

You watched them silently, nearly spilling milk all over the counter when you didn’t notice the glass for the milkshake was already full to the brim. His mom, you saw the familiarity now, kissed his cheek before he bent down and hugged the kids as they squealed in excitement to see him.

A giddy smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you turned your back towards the shop’s floor and got to work at the coffee machine. With practiced movements, you quickly made two hot chocolates and sprinkled a little cinnamon and chocolate rasps over the creamy foam. You took a deep breath and checked your appearance in the mirror over the big sink, making sure you did not look disheveled from your shift before you made your way over to Jace’s table.

As you got closer, you asked yourself if you were not too impulsive – surely you still had time to turn around? – but just as you were about to lose your bravery, Jace spotted you and his whole face brightened up, the dazzling smile you had grown to adore easing down your nerves.

“Hello.” You smiled shyly into the round and placed the plate in your hands on the table, the two cups steaming and adorned by two bowls of fresh cookies from the counter. “I thought the two gentlemen would like some hot chocolate, maybe? Ma’am, if I can get you anything-“

“Oh, there’s no need for formalities.” She smiled at you, a curious sparkle in her eyes. “I’m Rhaenyra, Jace’s mother. Nice to meet you.”

The little boys, undeniably twins now that you got a closer look at them, eyed you over the rims of their mugs. “Is that her, Jace? The girl you talk about aaall the time?”

“Ooh yes, the pretty girl, aaaall the time…”

Jace and you both froze, his little brother’s words leaving you speechless.

He…talked about you in front of his family? All. The. Time?

Rhaenyra looked between the two of you, noticing the awkward tension in the air and quickly saying: “I’d love to have a coffee with a little milk, thank you, dear.”

Jace still looked at you with wide eyes while his brothers peacefully sipped their chocolates as if they had not just exposed their older brother’s crush right in front of her. You opened and closed your mouth, face burning as you quickly nodded and mumbled: “Coming right up.”

The rest of your shift seemed to pass in a blur, your mind circling around what you had just learned.

Was there really a possibility Jace liked you back? Even his mother had been quick to dissolve the awkward situation and after you had brought her the coffee and Jace seemed to try to catch your eye every now and then, not really concentrating on the conversation at his table.

To get rid of the nervousness coursing through your stomach, you dedicated yourself to the little tarts in front of you, delicately placing small raspberries on the soft dough and decorating the top with small swirls of cream. The end result looked like little clouds and it seemed like your hands weren’t shaking as badly anymore now.

It was starting to get dark outside and there were still twenty minutes until your shift ended. You were the last one behind the counter this evening, only the nice ladies in the kitchen remained with you and most of the customers had left already. You sneaked a look to the window where Jace still sat, alone now again after his family had left, biting his lip and fidgeting as he looked outside into the rain. Would you just move on from this as if nothing happened?

“Hey, could you get me a coffee to go?” A guy you recognized from earlier visits grinned at you, leaning against the counter and a little too much into your personal space.

You nodded politely and grabbed a clean cup from the board behind you.

“And also your number if you’re on it, babe.”

You froze, staring at the cup in your hands. You had never liked this guy, he usually was brash and loud when he came in with his friends and he never left a tip, always demanding and impatient when his order took only a second longer than usual.

You started the coffee machine and looked over your shoulder. “I would rather not, thank you.”

“Aww come on, babe, I’ve been here so often just because you’re pretty, I think I earned it.”

You clenched your fists, the coffee trickling into the cup way too slow for your liking. “There’s nothing to earn, I just work here. And I’m not your babe.”

“Getting bratty now, huh? I think you just wanna-“

“Love, are you ready to go?”

Out of nowhere, Jace had appeared beside the douche, looking between your frozen form and the guy who now raised a confused eyebrow at him. You swallowed thickly, not knowing if you heard correctly. Love?

“Who are you?” The guy asked Jace, ignoring the coffee you now placed in front of him.

“I’m her boyfriend.” Jace said tensely, his dark eyes not leaving him. A warmth rushed through your belly at those words. “Is there a problem here? I don’t like the way you talk to her.”

“Calm down, dude, I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

Jace glared at him, his jaw set. “You don’t have to know she has a boyfriend to simply respect her. Get your coffee and go.”

Assured by Jace’s presence now, you calmly turned your attention to the guy and opened your hand. “That’s three-fifty. We’re closing now, so don’t have a seat.”

You watched with quiet satisfaction as he fumbled out a five and let it fall on the counter. You took it from him, smiling sweetly before you glimpsed into the cash register. “Sorry, we’re completely out of change. Bye.”

He grumbled to himself, throwing one last look over his shoulder before he left the café and the last bit of tension left your shoulders. Jace looked at you, scratching the back of his neck, grimacing. “I’m sorry. I knew you could handle it, but the way he talked to you made me so angry…”

You shook your head, smiling timidly. “No, thank you, really. He’s been getting on my nerves before. Maybe he won’t come back now, finally. Although it’s sad this was what it takes for him to leave me alone.”

Jace chuckled nervously. “I couldn’t think of anything else, sorry. And I also apologize for my brothers earlier. I didn’t want you to feel awkward…”

The butterflies in your stomach fluttered hopefully. “They were cute.” You said and searched his gaze. He looked at you the way he had on the very first day, awestruck and hopeful and so, so sweet. You bit your lip, adding quietly: “Did they…say the truth?”

Jace let out a shaky breath. “Yeah…” He told you hoarsely. “I…I’ve been thinking of ways to ask you out, but- I’m a hopeless case, it seems. God, I didn’t want you to find out through my toddler brothers.”

You laughed lightly, relieved to have your hopeful guess confirmed. “Well…my shift is over in about five minutes and I don’t have any plans. Do you want to get something to eat maybe?”

“I’d love that.” He smiled at you brightly and it brightened the room.

You made quick work at the counter as Jace gathered his things and the comfy looking jacket he had been wearing since the start of fall. When you were dressed in your long scarf and elegant coat, the two of you were ready to go.

It almost was weird, to walk and talk with Jace outside of the familiar environment of the café, but the two of you had no problem picking up a conversation, comfortably falling into a discussion about the books you had been reading recently and what he was currently up to at uni.

When you reached the big square of the town, you stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm. “Wait, where are we even going, I did not even ask.” You laughed, surprised how much time had passed already with him by your side.

Jace looked around the street, his dark eyes shimmering with the warm light the street lamp threw down at him. “Umm…there is a great pizza place nearby. They serve really good slices and also sweet mulled wine when it’s cold. We might be lucky tonight.”

“Sounds perfect.” You sighed, your stomach growling at the thought of some good pizza and followed him, barely resisting the urge to lace your fingers together.

The little booth tucked between two shops that were now closed was buzzing with life, the smell of delicious wine and fresh pizza filling the air and making your mouth water. Jace greeted the two men behind the counter and rested a careful hand on your back so you could step beside him and see what sorts they were offering tonight.

“You’re here often?” You chuckled as he nodded shyly.

“I’m not really good at cooking.” He replied. “The quattro formaggi is really, really good. So is the one with the cherry tomatoes and pesto.”

You nodded eagerly and fumbled with your bag, ready to get your wallet out, but Jace shook his head at you. “My treat, okay? You always get me such good pastries and cakes.”

“But Jace, you pay for them as well!”

“Doesn’t matter.” He grinned. “Why don’t you find us a table and I’ll get us some mulled wine and the pizza?”

Soon, Jace returned to you, two paper plates full with steaming hot pizza slices that were joined quickly by the promised mulled wine. The speakers by the booth played some easy music and over you, the sky had gotten dark and the air cool.

At your first bite, you groaned in delight and Jace cocked his eyebrow at you. “Good?”

“So good.” You agreed, eagerly having another one. “We should have this at the café! All the sugar and cinnamon are nice, but this? Thank you for opening the world of spices and vegetables for me.”

You laughed as he tried to break a cheese string between his mouth and the pizza off and the sweet wine only made you giddier to spend time with him. He asked you about your life as you ate and you told him the job at the café helped you to save for a professional training as a commis pâtisserie you wanted to start in spring. Jace listened to you intently, his eyes not leaving yours once.

“You have a little…” He lost the rest of his sentence, reaching out a hand and softly brushing some small crumbs of your pizza away from your cheek. Your heart skipped a beat at his careful touch, holding very still for him. “There, now it’s gone.”

“Thank you.” You said quietly, a little breathless. It had been some time since you had been close to someone like this and since it was Jace, you found yourself wanting to lean closer, to let his touch linger and blossom. “It’s nice, talking to you. I’m glad your brothers visited you today.”

You laughed together, both of you trying to hide your smitten faces as you took a last sip of the warm beverage. The plates between you had become empty and your heart sank a little when it was time to leave.

“Thank you for tonight, I…I like being with you, too. I’ll walk you home, if you’d like.” Jace offered warmly and looked down the road. He buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Will you be at the coffee shop tomorrow?”

You nodded, a warm feeling rushing through you at the thought you’d see him there, now that everything had changed a little. “You might get to have one of my famous chocolate fudge brownies if you’re lucky.”

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow as you began to make your way down the street. “Do only your favorite guests get them?”

“Oh yeah.” You teased, trying to stay serious. “Only the ones who save me from annoying guys and invite me out for pizza afterwards.”

You looked at each other underneath the light of a streetlamp, the two of you the only souls still wandering through the night. Jace stared at you, his plump lips slightly agape. He tucked a lost curl behind his ear underneath the hoodie and said sincerely: “Then I will do my best to hold that spot.”

“It’s already yours, Jace.” You said softly and then you could not hold yourself back anymore. You stepped closer and as the boy you had grown to adore so much exhaled shakingly, you held his face between your hands and kissed him.

Jace let out a surprised huff against you, but immediately melted in your embrace as he gently kissed you back, his hands quickly finding their way out of his pockets again to hold on to your waist. You smiled against his lips and sighed happily, your one hand wandering into the curls in his nape as the other grabbed the front of his hoodie.

You had no idea how much time passed as you kissed without a worry in the world. You welcomed his warm embrace as he held you closer, your arms coming to rest around his shoulders as the kiss deepened, his lips tasting of sweet wine and faintly of the waffles he had at the shop today. Your heart threatened to overflow with giddiness as Jace moaned softly into your mouth, cradling you against his chest and touching your soft hair as you kissed and kissed and kissed…

You didn’t know it yet, but tomorrow, he’d bring you another bouquet of flowers, roses this time and you’d spend your lunch break together and kiss some more.

In the following weeks, you indulged in cozy dates at restaurants Jace knew or simply stayed on his couch all night, cuddling and kissing and eventually falling into bed together…

In the next months, you grew closer and closer and you met his family again – “The pretty girl is back, now Jace can stop pining after you like a poet!” – and Jace supported you as you started your training however he could, which mostly meant he got to try all your little perfect creations and praise you endlessly for them.

One year ahead from now on, you moved into a cozy little apartment together, your home always filled with the love you shared and many, many books and baking goods.

You did not know it yet, but oh, how you were going to find out what it meant to love Jacaerys…

The truth was simple, yet tangled and slowly driving you to the brink of your sanity; every night since your return to Dragonstone, you found yourself unable to sleep, at the brim of madness. Memories of Jacaerys and you, pressed against each other in the small bed as he slowly took you apart with his fingers and lips, haunted you.

You wondered if it only had been a desired dream, since your betrothed had gone back to being sickeningly sweet and attentive to you after your return. Jacaerys had taken most of his mother’s blow and the angered worry for the both of you, defending his choice to keep you safe through the night in front of the Queen’s entire council.

Standing beside him, your cheeks had been undeniably red as he had recounted the night of the storm, purposefully leaving out the part where he had fingered you to a mind-blowing orgasm, of course.

After the questioning, you two had fallen back into the same old dance and its rhythm as if your feelings for one another still had to be suppressed. But perhaps being sweet and chivalrous was Jace’s own method to keep himself under control before your long-desired union.

After all, you certainly did not have such methods for yourself.

The late hours in your chambers had been spent staring at the ceiling and listening to the waves crashing against Dragonstone. Tossing and turning, you had only been able to imagine the ghost of his touches on your skin, over and over, until you had to either firmly press your legs together or rarely indulge in your own wild imagination and the world of pleasure Jacaerys had opened up for you…

Since his quarters were close to yours, you couldn’t help but wonder if the same frustration sought him out at night and if he dreamed about your lips on his, your wetness on his veiny hand as he touched your most intimate part…

You took a deep breath and focused once again, traveling along the shelf where diaries and old reports were stored. A pleasant burn rested in your stomach, knowing Jace might’ve stood in the exact same place as you or would even return here to find that his precious book had been taken…

You grinned as your fingers drifted over a particular bound spine, a victorious flutter going through your chest as you noticed the lack of dust on it, although someone had seemed to hide it in the second row.

This was going to be a very interesting evening.

A little later, you were back in your quarters, curled up in the cozy velvet armchair by the high windows and completely absorbed in the book resting on your lap.

The diary you had hidden underneath your cloak on your journey back was open, a well-kept secret of your family now in your hands. In the privacy of your own four walls, you silently thanked your prince for his erudition as your eyes darted across the old rough pages.

You quickly discovered that the diary had been written by a nameless female ancestor of yours, her old ink writing elegant but faded. Her entries stretched themselves over nearly two decades, starting with her very first intimate encounter with a man and continuing to describe the adventures of her youth until she eventually found her forever love.

At the bottom of the very first page, she had scribbled: to all the princesses after me and their princes who should do good to take proper care of them. The little dedication made you smile.

Soon, you had begun to devour each entry without even noticing, the thrill of knowing Jace’s fingers had turned the same pages only spurring you on in your eagerness. And this diary was certainly…something.

It was lustful and forbidden and very, very detailed. You nearly choked on your own breath once as your dear ancestor had not spared any sexual details in her vivid descriptions, the stories sometimes accompanied by tasteful sketches of what her tumbling had looked like. You had never seen anything like it and soon, you found yourself squeezing your thighs together with your heart pounding in excitement.

Your thoughts wandered away from the current story and imagined how Jace must’ve felt reading those filthy passages. In front of your inner eye, you saw him sprawled out in his bed, dark curls resting on the pillows and his face brightened by the candles on his bedside table.

Had he been as aroused as you were feeling now?

In the inn, he had told you all he could’ve imagined while reading was you and your cheeks burned with realization, possessing the full knowledge of what he had meant back then. Did he find relief for himself when it had become too much, clinging to the book with one hand as the other slowly played with himself underneath the blankets? Did he whisper your name, squeezing his beautiful eyes shut as he-

A knock at your door sharply cut through the silence and you startled, nearly dropping your precious reading matter. Quickly, you cursed and put it back on the small table beside you, brushing out your skirts and taking a deep breath.

“Yes?”

Your heart skipped a beat as the door opened and Jacaerys peeked into your room, a small worried frown on his youthful face. “Good evening. Are you alright?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to come inside. Your betrothed closed the door behind himself and walked up to you as your eyes began to travel on their own, over the red and black of his attires, his dark curls lush and glossy in the candlelight of your room.

“I was worried about you.” Jace confessed to you, raising your hand to his plump lips and kissing the knuckles in greeting. This was a new habit of his and you were not complaining, although the small gesture always made you weak in the knees. “We missed you at dinner. I brought you something to eat, in case you weren’t feeling well.”

Only now you realized how dark the sky behind your windows had gotten already. Gods, how much time had you already spent with this book?

Your chest warmed at the sight of a well-filled plate in his hand, presenting everything he knew you liked from the kitchens. With a grateful smile, you admitted: “Thank you. I’m alright, I simply must’ve forgotten the time. I was…occupied.”

Jace raised an amused eyebrow at your odd explanation, placing the plate on the table, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Shall I leave you to it then?”

“No.” You answered quickly, your heart already longing for him although he was right in front of you. “I’d love some company. We’ve both been busy lately.”

Lately. Ever since the night of the storm, but you had not talked about the events at the inn since then.

Jacaerys let out a small – relieved? – sigh at your answer and the two of you sat down in the armchairs, your stomach growling at the variety of food your betrothed had organized for you. After a moment, you lifted your gaze to his and added quietly: “I missed you.” And it was true in more than one way.

“I missed you, too.” He replied in a heartbeat and watched you peacefully as you began to eat. The unexpected dinner was a wonderful treat after a long day like this, but it was not enough to distract you from the fact that you had not really been alone like this ever since that night. “I have not been neglecting you on purpose, I promise. You are way too dear to me for that.”

You looked at him with big eyes, quietly munching on a small sweetmeat as you shook your head. “I was not thinking such a thing, Jace. I know how busy your day is, now more than ever. Has your mother fully forgiven you by now?”

As you had foreseen, Rhaenyra had been out of her mind with worry when you had not returned as appointed and had given her son a very stern talk right in the dragon’s cave where you had eventually arrived at with your dragons. (The more you thought about it, the more you wondered if your dragons would’ve been able to take the late flight back to Dragonstone that night. If their sudden change of behavior – your own creature more affectionate towards Jace and Vermax oddly cuddly with you - could be any indicator, you almost suspected your beasts had somehow made a pact with each other to bring you closer…)

Jace sighed and rested his head against the back of his armchair. “I try to make it up to her every day, believe me. But if thrown into a situation like this again, I would not choose any different. I’d always choose you. Us, together and safe.”

“I’d choose the same.” You whispered breathily, your heart singing way too fast for an innocent confession between betrotheds like this. Underneath your conversation, something desiring and dark slumbered, only waiting for the right moment to jump out and remind you of your spent time between the sheets together. You swallowed, quietly adding: “You protected me that night, from the storm and my own reckless decision I would’ve made and I am grateful for it. I have told the Queen so myself.”

“I know.” He gave you a soft smile, the one that was only reserved for you, his princess. “I think deep down she has forgiven me already. She just likes to see me working even harder these days.”

You chuckled, taking a bite of a ripe strawberry with relish. When you looked up again, Jace’s eyes already were on your lips, how they curled around the sweet fruit and your tongue darted out to lick the juice from your fingertips, his dark pupils blown wide, body tense.

Suddenly, the dress on you felt way too tight for your body, your senses widening under his intense stare. But just like that, the moment was over and Jacaerys cleared his throat, causing you to go back to your dinner.

You wanted to curse yourself for your own timidness. You had shared far more than a space like this before your betrothed knew how you tasted and felt on his fingers and even before your wedding night had happened. So why were you so flustered out of the sudden?

In an unobservant moment, Jace casually reached for the book on your table and your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. You were helpless to watch as his eyes widened shortly with recognition, looking intently at the subtle cover.

“This is…” You had no idea how you wanted to end this sentence.

Jacaerys opened the diary right where you had placed a soft ribbon between the pages, his eyes skimming over the page before he looked up at you with a sly grin. “Ah. One of my favorite chapters.”

Oh gods.

Both embarrassment and excitement pulsed through you as heat crept up your neck at his knowing smile.

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” He asked adoringly, his fingertips softly tracing the ribbon. “Was my description not vivid enough so you simply had to find out for yourself, to see if I lied?”

You proudly lifted your chin, trying to feign confidence and ignore the shaking of your hands at his look fueled with unfiltered desire.

“Of course you have not lied to me. You were way too…” You bit your lip, your mind traveling back to the way he skillfully crooked his fingers against your sweet spot, dirty words leaving his heavenly mouth as he praised you… You cleared your throat, brushing your hands out over your skirts. “I knew you weren’t lying, but I had to see for myself. For…educational purposes.”

Jace nodded slowly and hummed thoughtfully. “I knew you were curious…” He leaned forward and offered you the book back. A notch confused, you took the diary from his hands, the old clothbound almost familiar already in your grasp. “And believe me, I am not here to interrupt your education tonight, princess.”

A low fire sizzled through you at the mischievous smile he gave you. It was a smile you couldn’t resist and you prayed you knew what this meant for you tonight. After all, you were going to be Jacaerys’ wife, sooner rather than later, and he was going to be your husband. You blinked at him innocently before you reclined against the pillow in your back, your fingers brushing over the golden edges of the diary.

“How considerate of you, my prince.” You said sweetly and a quiet exhale left Jace’s lips, clearly affected by your playful undertone. “Maybe we can learn together. That is, if my betrothed doesn’t have any other plans for the night?”

A dazzling grin made its way on Jacaerys’ face and with an elegance only the prince could possess, he leaned back against his armchair as well. He gestured invitingly to the diary in your hands and nodded at you encouragingly. “By all means, go on.”

Gods, in what situation were the two of you stirring yourselves into once again?

You forced yourself to remain composed in front of him, opening the book once more and beginning to read. But you only managed to drift over a few words before Jacaerys’ voice cut through the comfortable silence of the room and your head snapped up.

"Out loud." He said, simple yet demanding, his eyes burning embers sending a shiver down your spine.

"W-what?" Your voice sounded thin, perhaps a little intimidated but also...intrigued by your betrothed's command. The look in his eyes was the same he executed in the council room, sharp and attentive and willing to fight for what was his.

"I want to hear your voice." He explained, softer now. "Please read to me, princess."

You stared at him and the heat from before in your rosy cheeks started to spread like dragon fire, claiming your entire being. The dress on you felt way too tight and although you were not wearing your clammy riding leathers anymore, the same tension had now taken possession over you. And it was all because of the prince seated across from you.

Jace rested his chin in the palm of his hand, licking his plump lips as he kept your eyes captive with his own. After a moment, he nodded, a small encouragement you needed to return to the page in front of you.

With your finger ghosting over the soft ribbon, you began to read:

“When I met him that night, it was like our previous encounters from before had vanished, leaving me alone with my carnal desire…” You read to him, feeling him shift in his seat just outside of your vision. “The prince has been kind to me before, but as the hours went by and our wine glasses emptied, there was something else in his eyes, something I felt wanted to devour me and make me his. Taking him into my bed was inevitable and we both knew it.”

It was scandalous and wrong, to speak such lewd thoughts out loud with your betrothed right before your very eyes, but something made you continue, your voice growing stronger as you carried on.

“I was not aware of my own body like this until he made me, taking my hand in his own and showing me what I was capable of…” You swallowed thickly, the words hitting way too close to home. “Like he was painting flowers on my skin, my body bloomed under his touch and awakened me as if I had only slept my life away before…”

You thought of the rain splattering against the window, how Jacaerys had undressed you and how right it had felt to let yourself be kissed by him, your bodies melting together underneath the blanket until you had forgotten where you began and he ended. There had been safety back then and you knew there was safety in this moment as well, your Jace a steady and relying presence by your side.

“He surprised me, in more than one way, but what surprised me the most was when he went on his knees for me…” You lifted your head at the sound of fabric rustling and breathed out shakingly as you watched Jace stand up from his chair and kneel down in front of yours, looking up at you with his lips slightly open.

“What are you doing?” You whispered breathlessly.

“You’ve read this chapter before?” He asked back, gulping.

You nodded slowly, not able to look away from his pretty eyes. “Twice. It is written quite…poetically.”

Jace chuckled, easing your nerves as he softly stroked your naked ankle. Scandalous, indeed. “So you know how the story goes, my love?”

Gods, he was going to be the death of you.

“Yes…” You whispered, not trusting your voice anymore.

“If you’d allow me, I’d like to give you the same pleasure.” Jace proposed slowly, his voice a little hoarse. “I-…I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you ever since we shared a bed. I try to be…a good betrothed, but every night I close my eyes, I still hear your sweet voice, I feel your body against mine and it’s driving me mad with want.”

You were shaking as you leaned forward and cupped his cheek with one hand, successfully making him halt in his confessional ramble. Softly, you stroked along his smooth cheek with your thumb as he melted into the loving gesture. “Jacaerys…Why do you think I wanted to find the diary like you did? If you declare yourself mad, then we are both out of our minds. I have been thinking about you too as I was reading. You are all I can think about and I desire to be with you again.”

He looked at you like you were the sun, the whole world to him. “So you’d let me…?”

You nodded fiercely, your finger drifting over his cheekbone and his bottom lip. You exhaled softly as he pressed a quick kiss to the pad of your fingertip. “I trust you. I know you’ll take good care of me.”

“I will, always.” Jace vowed and took your hand in his once again, this time lifting your bare wrist to his mouth and softly kissing it, making you sigh longingly. Then, he gently led it back to the book in your lap and smiled at you. “Read to me, princess.”

You cleared your throat, trying to push all nerves away from you as you continued with the story.

“I was overly aware of his presence between my thighs, soothing yet commanding as he slowly unwrapped me, a prize he had dutifully won with his chivalrous affections…” You read and tried not to squirm as Jace slowly began to lift your light skirts, exposing your naked legs to the warm air of your chamber. You felt his hot breath fan over your sensitive skin, goosebumps rising in his wake. When his knuckles brushed along your calf, you bit your lip, suppressing a small groan.

“What happens next?” Jace wanted to know, his voice warm and deep and lulling you into a certain headspace. Briefly, your eyes met as he exposed your knees and with a sigh, your legs opened, making space for whatever he planned for you. And oh, how you knew what he planned and how much it affected you already, knowing exactly what was going to happen…

“He took his time and ignored my pleas, relishing every little buck of my hips as he neared the sacred place where I desired him the m-most-“ You faltered as you felt his lips on your knee, one single featherlight kiss before he moved on to the other leg, repeating his actions.

His hands brushed appreciatively over your skirts and higher and higher they went until you heard him exhale in awe. “You’re as beautiful as I remember…May I?”

“Yes.” You lifted your hips, assisting him in his efforts to get your skirt out of the way, but just as you lost yourself in the sight of him on your knees for you, he admonished you with a single look and nodded to the diary between you. You laughed quietly, your head spinning from the sensation of his hand stroking up and down your leg. “I believe I might’ve gotten betrothed to a devil instead of a prince.”

“A devil wouldn’t do what I want to do to you, princess.” He murmured, his warm palms now resting on your thighs, oh so gently drawing little patterns into your skin.

You soldiered on bravely, although it was getting harder to think when he spoke to you like this. “I was no stranger to the secret pleasures happening behind closed doors, but with him, I felt like I have never truly known them. He looked at me like I was his personal meal at a feast and he was a man that has been starving, desperate for- oh!”

You stumbled over your words, a hiss escaping your lips as his knuckles suddenly brushed along the damp fabric of your underwear. The sensation of his touch on the wet spot over your folds sent a sharp shiver down your spine and the glassy look in Jace’s eyes, fixated on your clothed center in front of him, did not help to ease the tension in you.

“For?” Jacaerys repeated dazed, licking his lips before he softly mouthed at your naked thighs, the muscles quivering underneath his sweet assault.

“For her.” You exhaled, but he only cocked his eyebrow at you.

“Come on, princess, you know the word she uses.” He tempted you teasingly, lazily reaching out and tracing a circle over your soaked-

“Her cunt-“ You breathed out, sweat gathering on your brow as your mind rushed down your body, making it harder and harder to concentrate on the diary in your hand. Your eyes fluttered closed as he peppered kisses along your inner thighs and his curls tickled your smooth skin.

Distantly, you felt his fingers unlace the little ribbons on the side of your underwear, gently exposing your heavenly center to him for the very first time. You heard him groan under his breath, his imagination during your first encounter underneath the blanket exceeded by the sweet reality of your weeping cunt for him.

“Princess…” He hummed absently, shuffling closer to you, his eyes flickering back and forth between your wet rosy folds and your half-lidded eyes. “I want to know how the story continues, don’t you?”

A tiny whimper left your lips as you tried to make sense of the words in front of you with Jacaerys so close to where you needed him so desperately now. “My cunt was a flower blooming under his attention and with each touch of his, another leaf seemed to blossom, making me f-forget myself and…gods, Jace, please-“

Finally giving in to your pleas, Jace pressed a kiss to your aching clit and set you aflame with it.

A surprised gasp left your lips as your hips twitched on their own and you dug your fingers into the armrest by your side. Your taste only barely grazed his lips, yet Jace groaned and rested his forehead against your thigh for a moment, taking a deep breath to compose himself while he stroked the soft flesh under your belly.

Jace slowly lifted your legs to rest on his shoulders – the way he had often dreamed about – and nudged you to continue, his burning gaze not separating from your pink pussy.

 “His tongue licked fire into me, unforgiving and merciless at my open whimpers and when I thought the pleasure I felt could not ascend more, he proved me wrong-“ You bit down hard on your lip as he dove in again, kissing your folds and clit like he had kissed your blue lips at the inn, experimental and delicately and forbiddenly good. “-and pushed me further, beyond the veil and further.”

“Gods, you taste divine…” Jace murmured against you, his tongue darting out to lick one fat stripe up your cunt, making you release a long drawn-out moan you could not keep in anymore if you tried. “Let me hear you, princess, I want to hear every little sound from your sweet lips.”

“T-the pressure in me kept tightening itself as he played me like a delicate violin, his spit mingling- gods, fuck-“ You squeezed your legs shut as Jace licked and sucked at you, the noises where his mouth worked outright dirty and driving you insane. “-mingling with my own juices, his eyes never leaving mine as he lapped at me…”

You had no idea if you were even speaking a coherent language anymore. You were floating, levitating above yourself and the boy between your thighs, devouring you as if you were the best thing Jace had ever been granted to taste.

Jacaerys once again did not let it show that he was just as new to any of this as you were, expertly eating you out like he had never done anything else. He kissed your cunt with eager passion, varying between slow licks of his tongue and fiery kisses and sucking against your clit until you could not keep up with him anymore, your body melting into the armchair behind you.

As you stumbled once again over a sentence, you mewled and instinctively held on to the first thing in reach. It was the best unconscious decision your body could’ve ever made for you.

Jacaerys let out a guttural groan, the vibrations of his sound sending a jolt through you as he moaned right into your cunt, your fingers tightening their newly found hold on his soft curls. His fingers dug into your plush thighs and you lost yourself just a little more when he looked up to you.

His swollen lips were glistening with your wetness and Jace looked drunk on you, his eyes hazily glazed over as he held your stare, leaning into your hand holding on to his hair.

Your head fell back, your mouth opening to a silent blissed-out o-shape at the intensity of his mouth on you and before you knew it, you found yourself begging for your betrothed, his long fingers carefully spreading your folds apart for him.

“Jacaerys… please-“ You whimpered, brows scrunched together and breath hitching as he soothed his fingers over your sensitive flesh once more. The book became useless in your hands as the words blurred together in front of your vision. “I can’t go on anymore, please.”

He barely separated himself from you as he sighed into your cunt, deeply breathing you in and intending to never unlearn this feeling. “I know you can do it, princess. Come on, I want to know how the story ends, don’t you?”

You couldn't care less about how the godsdamned story would end anymore, but you saw the way Jace was looking at you, the dragon of your house lingering just beneath the surface. He was serious and you would not leave this seat before he had you right where he wanted; on the same high edge he had led you to in that tiny little bed…

And oh, how fast you were racing towards it.

“There was no escape from the heaven he brought on me and as- oh…as I felt my end nearing, I knew I was ruined for an…any m-man after him who’d dare to compete- ah, Jace, a-against him-“ You whimpered, your thighs shaking on top of his shoulders as he went on and on on you, his perfect mouth nearly making you go cross-eyed for a moment.

Suddenly, your vision whitened out, the diary slipping from your limb grasp and falling to the ground as Jace’s tongue breached your walls. Your back arched and you let out an incoherent string of curses, humming and gasping pathetically as his nose rubbed against your clit and Jace’s long lashes fluttered closed. You could not help but stare at him in wonder, your beautiful betrothed worshiping at the altar of your hips, dragging his skilled tongue through the mess he had made of you.

He was exquisite.

And finally, you seemed to have fulfilled your reading duty and he was satisfied with the outcome.

Jace groaned deeply and placed his hands on either side of your waist, drawing you closer to the edge of the chair and towards his mouth, his hot breath fanning over you and sending shivers down your spine.

“Are you close, princess?” He mumbled lowly, not bothering to separate himself from you, his lips sending little jolts through your nerves.

“S-so close…” You nodded quickly, head thrown back and fingers still carding through his hair, his hands and mouth on you the only things that still kept you on this world. “’s so good, Jacaerys, I’m going to…”

His hands found yours and as he laced your fingers together, he kissed your swollen wet clit again, gently suckling on it and moving his head just a little bit, his teeth lasciviously grazing over you-

You let go of yourself, combusting into a million little stars through his guiding touches. Your peak was washing over you in powerful waves, your hips still grinding against Jace’s eager mouth, chasing the taste of your release on his tongue as if it was the saving water in a hopeless desert.

“Perfect…” Jace murmured as he looked up to you in awe, his cheek admiringly resting on your thigh and you let out a breathless chuckle, chest heaving and heart thundering as he licked his lips clean of your release. “You are divine, my love.”

You were puddy in his safe hands, sighing happily as he kissed your leg and swiftly scooped you up into his awaiting arms. You gladly clung to him and as he carried you towards your enticing bed, your disheveled skirts were dragged behind you over the floor as your legs wrapped around his waist, one of his hands soothingly brushing over your hair as the other supported your bum.

He could’ve walked to the edge of the earth with you like this, you were content, nuzzling his neck like an affectionate kitten and breathing him in. What a grand blessing your sweet betrothed was…

While you still tried to calm yourself down from your peak, Jacaerys gently placed you on your soft beddings and sat down beside you. He kissed your chin, your temple and then both of your fluttering eyelids, his hands securely stroking your sides as he leaned over you.

“How are you feeling?” He asked quietly, seeking your gaze.

You smiled at him, reaching up to tuck one of his curls behind his ear. “Magnificent.”

Jacaerys blushed and kissed your cheek to hide it. “It wasn’t too much?”

“No.” You slid your hand to his nape, an idea blossoming in your mind. “It was new and…intense, but I loved it. You were good to me, Jace. Although…there is one thing I am still longing for, my prince.”

He furrowed his brows. “And what would that be, beloved?”

You drew him closer until he hovered over you, his own breath quickening as yours fanned over his lips. Your thumb brushed over his cheekbone and you leaned in to whisper: “I’ve not kissed you since that night.”

His pupils dilated. “We should change that.”

You grinned into the kiss as you both closed the distance and a deep part of you relaxed, as if you had been holding your breath ever since you took off to Dragonstone that morning. Jacaerys carefully held your face in the palms of his hands, but you felt that he was desperately needing this just as much as you did.

You moaned at the taste of yourself on his lips, although you were well and thoroughly sated for the night, only hungering for Jace’s pleasure now. You pulled him on top of you and sank into the pillows behind you, relishing the feeling of his lips moving against yours once more.

It was like the two of you were learning together, becoming better and better at knowing how to do this. He liked it when you playfully bit his bottom lip and you felt yourself growing hot when he licked into your mouth and time did not matter anymore as you made out with each other.

While his own hands were ghosting over your sides, his lashes brushing against your cheeks and tickling you, you steadied yourself on your elbows and pressed your chest against his. In a moment of tender weakness, you smoothed your hands over his chest and flipped the two of you around.

Jace let out a surprised grunt as he landed on your pillows, wondrously looking up at you and drinking in the sight that was you, now snuggly seated in his lap. His hands went to your waist, caressing your hip bones through the fabric of your skirt.

“Maybe I should make you read to me as well, my prince.” You considered sweetly, delighted in the way he breathed a little harder. “See how long you can concentrate while I play with you, hm?”

“Princess…”

You grinned, kissing the rest of his sentence away and sensually tugging at his bottom lip with your teeth. After all, he was not the only one educated in the practices of pleasure now. Time to show what your nameless ancestor had taught you through her diary.

He opened his mouth, surely to protest and insist he was fine once more, but you simply gave him a look and he closed it again. The evidence for his arousal was hot and hard under you and when you experimentally ground your hips down, a small whimper left his lips.

“I will not have you end the night unsatisfied again, Jace.” You told him sternly, making yourself comfortable and at home in his lap as you nestled with his belt.

He shook his head, although you could see the desire still burning in his dark eyes, sparked by your sudden initiative to take some little control back. “Seeing you come undone was more than enough for me already, princess.”

You shushed him, your fingertip on his lips. “Let me make you feel good too, Jace. Please.”

Jace brushed your hair back and for a moment, you could see him arguing with himself before he finally gave in to you. “Yes. You…I would like that, if you want.”

A victorious smile made its way on your face. “I do.”

You clumsily fumbled with his belt as you slowly began to kiss his neck, exploring the sensitive skin you had not felt against your lips before but could not get enough of now. Jacaerys obediently made space for you and leaned back, his mouth opening silently and eyes closing as he concentrated on only you and your hands and lips on him.

Quickly, you found out a spot that made him hiss, a sensitive patch just beneath his earlobe, when you unbuckled his pants and slid your hands down his front, over his muscled stomach, down and further down until-

Jace moaned, his fingers digging into your hip bones as you palmed the front of his underwear, feeling him almost throbbing with need against your wandering hand. You leaned back in curiosity to take a look at your beautiful boy, biting his lip and blinking at you with worship written all over his face.

“Help me a little here.” You whispered and held out your hand to him. Jace let out a shuddering breath, realizing your intention. Chapter eight. You clearly both had read it.

You trembled as he let a little bit of his spit drool down into the palm of your hand, holding your eye contact and when your own spit joined and you freed his cock to wrap your hand around his length, he hissed as if he had burned himself.

You could not decide where you wanted to look. He was beautiful, longer than you had imagined and a little curved and you couldn’t stop yourself from thumbing the slit, the precome of his tip easing the way as you slowly began to stroke him.

“Fuck…” Jace bit his lip, suppressing a little whimper, but you were quick, your thumb touching his bottom lip and encouraging him not to stifle his sounds. You had no idea what you’re doing, the reality was different from when it was all just words on a page, but you seemed to do something right given Jacaerys’ reaction to your slow and tender strokes.

“Does it feel good?” You wanted to know breathily, your lips brushing against each other as Jace bucked into your hand, unable to control himself as your hand slowly took him apart.

Jace nodded, chasing your mouth as he cupped the back of your neck and drew you close, devouring you in a hot and passionate kiss that made your hand stutter with distraction. Your other hand was squeezing his shoulder and you moved together, a dance danced best in your bed, with the one you loved and who loved you back.

“Princess…” He whispered, his whole sight angelic and holy to you as you watched him mesmerized, the slick sound of your hand around him drowned out by the string of moans leaving his plump lips as you twisted your wrist. “Gods, ‘so good to me…I’m- I’m not going to last as long as the men in those stories…”

You chuckled, lightheaded with the endless love you felt, only doubling your efforts to make your betrothed feel good at your hands. You leaned your forehead against his and breathed: “I do not care. It’s you I want. And I want to watch you come undone, Jorrāeliarzys, as you watched me.”

He whimpered, eyes fluttering closed as you slowed your hand. It seemed like Jacaerys preferred it this way, a touch so drawn out it almost felt like nothing, but was everything. You peppered kisses along his neck and exposed collarbone, coaxing him towards the same cliff you had tumbled off earlier, feeling his shivers and the strain in him as you took care of his need.

“Come on, Jace…” You lured, pressing one last kiss to his open lips before you added near his ear in a whisper: “Come for your wife, my love.”

Jacaerys’ head fell back as he released a languorous long moan, his cock twitching as he spilled his seed, your hand guiding him through the high as you watched him awestruck by his beauty. You stayed close and leaned against him, playing with his hair as he recovered, a panting mess you had made of him and you felt yourself cuddling close to.

“Are you okay?” You whispered when he did not speak, only drawing you tight against him and combing his fingers through your hair.

“Yes…I’m perfect.” He murmured and nuzzled his nose against your neck. “Just need a moment. You are a gift from the gods, my love.”

You blushed, busying yourself with gently tucking his length back into his pants and sighing happily. “This silly little diary, huh?”

You laughed together, the vision of two young lovers, happy and sated. The adrenaline and giddiness of both your actions was coursing through your veins at full force, now that the haze of pleasure had lifted from your mind.

After a while, he grimaced at the mess on your hand and you laughed quietly as he grabbed his cloak from your nightstand and quickly wiped it off for you.

“It’s not that bad.” You insisted giggly, but he was having none of it.

“I won’t have you having to sully yourself with my mess.”

“Jace, earlier your chin was covered with my-“

“Shh…” He shushed you gently and pulled you close, sinking into the pillows with you tucked against him, your head fitting just perfectly underneath his chin. You had missed the way your body fitted perfectly against his own, not protesting anymore as he hugged you close to his chest.

„I can hardly wait to get married to you…” You mumbled sleepily against his neck, your hand finding its way into his lush curls.

He smiled against your temple, his arms drawing you closer against his chest as he rested his chin on your head. “I will relish every day I’ll have with you by my side as my wife then. As I relish every moment with you now, my love.”

You hummed happily, an undeniable warmth spreading through your chest at his promise. Drawing a tiny heart on his chest, you looked up into his eyes with a plea. “Can you stay? Just a little longer until I’ve fallen asleep?”

Both of you knew he could not stay here for the night. It had been a challenge already to slip into your quarters without raising suspicious questions. But if the prince would spend the night in his betrothed’s chambers? You’d raise a scandal neither of you wanted to face or deal with.

“Of course.” He cooed and you relaxed, melting in his embrace as he carded his fingers through your hair. “I’ll stay.”

“Good.” You murmured sleepily, timidly kissing his jaw one last time as exhaustion claimed your body and bones. It was the sweetest déjà vu, your embrace similar to the one you had shared in the inn. But only this time, your hearts beating peacefully in sync with each other.

“Sleep well, princess.” Jacaerys whispered tenderly and watched as you drifted off into sleep.

He did not leave you for another few hours, but when he eventually had to, he swore himself he was going to make you fully his as soon as possible…

Perhaps a conversation with his mother was more than overdue.

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃

In the beginning, you thought he was like a ghost in your home, only appearing from time to time and briefly, but always leaving goosebumps on your skin when he shyly waved at you. Just his sight alone was enough to make you want to bury your face in your book. You wanted to become his friend, too. Until you wanted to be more than that.

And over the months, their duo became a trio as you joined them more and more often, curled up on your brother’s bed as he and Jace played a video game or going out with them for food or random drives.

You laughed together - it was so so easy to laugh with Jace - and you got to know him better when he told you about his big family and how nice it was to retreat into your quieter family’s house sometimes.

You caught yourself watching him more and more when no one was looking, daydreaming about what it’d be like to be close to him, to kiss his pouty lips and be his girlfriend…

But you were a trio now and you two were only connected by your older brother in the end.

But god, how inevitably you had fallen for Jacaerys, how impossible it was to forget about these desires.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃🥛 ࣪ ִֶָ.

It didn't take long until Jacaerys followed you into your dreams. 

When you were sleeping, especially after you had read a couple pages of your favorite romance novels, he came to you, surrounded by smoke and fog. And for only a short lived dream, you could see each other together, doing things you wouldn't dare to think about during the day.

It was maddening and perfect and everything you wanted, but when you woke up, you were alone still.

You stared at the ceiling of your room, sighing deeply. Tucking your favorite stuffed animal, a small wolf with spotted fur, back under your blanket, you slid out of bed, in need of a distraction from fantasizing about kissing your brother's best friend.

You tiptoed down the staircase, silently slipping into the kitchen and feeling around the wall for the lightswitch. 

"Don't get scared, I'm here." A soft voice came from the darkness and as you switched the light on, you spotted Jacaerys sitting at the kitchen table. 

His hair looked disheveled from sleeping and he wore a long shirt and boxers, sheepishly looking at you with his phone in his hands.

Your hand itched to tuck a loose curl behind his ear for him.

“What are you doing awake?” You whispered, shuffling closer and rubbing your eyes with a yawn.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He smiled warmly at you, shrugging.

“I live here and I wanted a midnight snack.” You gave back. You rarely were alone with Jace lately, he and Cregan seemed to have reached a new stage in their friendship where it wouldn’t have surprised you if your older brother took his favorite Velaryon to the bathroom with him. “Is Cregan snoring?”

Jace chuckled quietly. “No. I just wanted to check my phone in case my cousin Rhaena texted me. My brothers are on a little trip with her and I want to make sure they’re okay and not homesick. They seem fine though, she sent me a picture of them eating ice cream earlier.”

Your chest ached funnily at the way he talked so lovingly about his family. But you knew Cregan’s habit as the oldest son all too well, needing to make sure you were okay all the time and you didn’t miss the way Jace smiled sadly at the picture on his phone after showing it to you.

“I bet they have the most amazing time and can’t wait to tell you all about it once they’re back.” You assured him and before you would have thought twice about it, you reached out and squeezed his shoulder. Your touch lingered, just a little moment too long and your eyes met. 

Your breath hitched at his dark eyes on yours, shimmering in the soft kitchen light. You were both barefoot, in your sleeping clothes and your hair was open and uncombed and your heart was way too open for this time of the night.

You heard him exhale softly as you drew your hand back, feeling as if you had burned yourself. But why did you want to throw yourself wholly into his flames then?

“Would you like a chocolate milk?” You offered, the moment between you vanished. “It always helps me get back to sleep again.”

Jace furrowed his brows. “Cregan’s crazy for them too. He told me earlier you’re out of any chocolate milk.”

You grinned knowingly, walking past him and illuminating yourself in the cold light of the open fridge. “Yeah, that’s because he doesn’t suspect me hiding them behind the healthy stuff he avoids.”

Brushing past your yogurts and meal preps for your summer job, you produced two small milk cartons, shaking them victoriously. 

Jace grinned at you and it only made you a little bit weak in the knees. "You're brilliant."

"I'm trying to survive with my vacuum cleaner of a hungry brother." You joked and handed him a carton, the two of you content as you began to sip on the sweet chocolate milk.

Under the soft light of the kitchen lamp, Jace and you forgot about time as you shared whispered stories with each other, your drinks soon becoming empty and replaced by new ones.

His gentle and unhurried words were good at calming down your entire body and soon, you felt your eyes drooping.

"I think we should both go back to bed now." Jace whispered. "I told Cregan we'll go play some basketball tomorrow morning and I want to beat him."

You laughed at the thought of your giant of a brother going up against Jacaerys. "Well, good luck to you."

With a tiny yawn, you stood up and smiled at him once again. "Thank you for the conversation, Jace. Sleep well."

"Goodnight." Jace said softly and for a moment, you lingered in the doorway, imagining if you weren't leaving. Imagining the two of you, him with you in his lap, pulling you closer as you kissed.

But you could dream about these things.

With one last smile, you left him, although your heart ached to stay with him for just a little longer.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🍋.

One afternoon, you were reading by the pool in the backyard. 

You had just come back after your shift at your holiday job, helping out in a little bookshop downtown, and were now ready to relax all day.

On a small table next to your sun lounger stood a carafe of freshly pressed lemonade and the bookish harvest of the day, ready to be devoured by you until the sun went down.

The garden gate by the house rattled and you looked up, your hands nearly forgetting to put a bookmark between the pages as you spotted Jace letting himself in. 

Your mouth went dry at his appearance, dark sunglasses holding back his curls, his white shirt a stark contrast against them. Illuminated by your kitchen lights or the sun itself, it didn't seem to matter for him. 

He was so pretty, it almost made you want to look away, but you couldn't. You never could. And wasn’t this the root of the problem?

You swallowed against the dryness in your throat. “Hey.”

“Hi.” He smiled sheepishly at you before he looked up to Cregan’s window. “Cregan is not home yet?”

You shook your head. “Nope. It’s just me right now. Should I tell him you stopped by?”

He scratched his neck, a little helpless. “Um…if it’s okay, I could stay and wait for him? I like spending time with you, too, if that’s alright.”

You wanted to bury your face in your hands and giggle like stupid. You didn’t. “Yes, of course, no worries. Would you like a lemonade?”

Jace gratefully took the glass from your hands, your knuckles brushing against one another. “Thanks. You can continue reading if you want, just act like I’m not here.”

You thought about the steamy chapter you had just begun reading and considered your options. If you read, it was like every character the narrator was in love with became Jace. In your head, you two had already kissed and made love a thousand times like this. If you continued reading those longing and hot scenes with Jace so close to you, you were afraid you’d actually implode.

You watched him closely as he sat down by the edge of the pool, abandoning his shoes so he could dangle his long legs into the water.

The words in front of you melted together on the page, making it impossible to continue reading when he was so close to you.

Shifting on your sunchair, you allowed yourself to simply look at Jace who tilted back his head, closing his eyes against the sun and appreciating the quietness of the backyard. You wanted to go to him and kiss him on the lips. You wanted to go inside and splash very cold water on your face to stop these thoughts from happening.

“You know, I never see you swimming in here.” Jacaerys looked at you curiously, eyes scrunched together a little from the sun and probably the fact he was not wearing his contacts. 

You shrugged, a little shy out of the sudden. “I used to, when I was younger. But…not anymore.”

“What happened?” Jace looked at you, curious yet a little worried.You tried to shrug it off, only to realize there was no shame in you when you talked to him. He waited for you, patiently so, but somehow you knew he would’ve let it go if you wanted it.

“We were on vacation once, Cregan, Sara and I, with our parents.” You told him and in your mind you could see the three of you playing together in the garden, your brother giving you a piggyback ride as Sara laughed in delight. “I wanted to go swimming in the morning, but no one was awake yet, so I snuck out. I just couldn’t wait to get into the pool. But I underestimated how deep it was and I couldn’t hold myself up well enough then…Cregan had woken up when he heard me leave and found me. I scared everyone, but I was okay, just coughed up some water and was shocked at my own boldness. Ever since, the pool and I are not really on good terms.”

Jacaerys looked at you, eyes filled with consternation and empathy. “I’m sorry you had an experience like this. That must’ve been very scary.”

You looked at him with surprise, but there were no jokes in him, only sympathy. “It was, but it’s okay. I was…six, I think, so it’s long behind me.”

“This whole pool is a waste if you can’t enjoy it.” Jace tried to lighten the mood and as always, his playful tone lured a smile out of you. A certain sparkle danced through his eyes and you knew whatever came next could not be taken seriously: “What would you like to have instead of it? A garden library maybe, for all your books? Maybe I can convince Cregan to cement the pool shut once your parents are gone next weekend.”

You laughed, a warm rush blossoming through you at the mention of your own little library. He knew how much you read and he had no clue you were seeing him in every love interest of your cheesy romance novels… “I bet my parents would love that and totally not…murder us once they’re back.”

As you laughed together, the small weight on your chest lifted itself and the memory from your story faded again, nothing but a distant thought of the past. 

Cregan came home a little later and as he and Jace left to go up into his room, the two of you smiled at each other one last time, as if you were sharing a secret no one knew but you now.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🍿.

It was getting late, but Tuesday was movie night and neither of the three of you wanted to pull out of it first. 

Cregan, Jace and you had pushed the couch table to the side and splayed blankets and pillows all over the carpet earlier.

To our feet was the rest of your movie snacks, but only a half-full bowl of popcorn remained which you passed back and forth from time to time.

When Cregan had suddenly not grabbed the bowl from you anymore, you and Jace had shared a knowing look.

Your brother was snoring softly, his head tilted back and arms entwined in front of his broad chest. He was out cold, completely oblivious to the movie still running quietly on the TV screen.

But you and Jace were still awake.

And out of the sudden you realized that you had never sat so close to each other. Your shoulders were almost touching and somewhen, your legs had ended up underneath his blanket, your fuzzy socks brushing against his calf.

You willed your breathing to remain regular, seemingly impassive as you continued to watch the movie, but you simply could not concentrate, not when Jace’s presence so close to you clouded all your senses like this.

The atmosphere was thick with tension and you wondered if all of this was only happening in your mind. You took a deep breath and reached for the popcorn again.

Tiny lightning struck you as your fingers brushed against Jace’s, neither of you pulling back.

You took all your courage and looked up to him, his burning gaze already resting on you. You swallowed thickly, unable to look away and when you felt his thumb brushing over your knuckles, you were sure you were going mad.

It seemed like Jace couldn’t look away either and a full-body shudder went through him when your leg shifted against his.

“You can sleep.” Jace whispered into the darkness, gulping hard. “I’ll switch the TV off later. I…I’ll watch over you.”

I don’t want to sleep. I want you and I’m afraid of what happens to me if I can’t have you.

But you feared your own words and the impact that they might have, destroying everything Jace and you had become over the last couple of months.

What if dreams were safer than reality, where nothing could hurt or disappoint you?

Your head fell softly against Cregan’s shoulder, sweet oblivion already pulling you under at the outlook of his sweet promise to you. 

As you drifted asleep, you could’ve sworn there was a featherlight brush over your thigh, four little invisible letters forever imprinted into your soft skin

m…        

...i...           

 …n...                      

…e

And as he watched your breath evening out, Jacaerys sighed deeply, his head bumping against the cushions of the couch and trying to calm down his pounding heart.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ📖.

The weekend came and Cregan and you watched your parents’ car leave the driveway, your arms slung around each other as you waved at them before they drove out of sight.

Your brother and you were standing together for a moment of silence until you said: “If tonight escalates in any way, I’m telling mom.”

“If you sneak downstairs and drink with the guys, I’m telling dad.”

You snorted, unimpressed. “Please, I’d rather lock myself in my room all weekend long if it means I can avoid your stupid house party.”

Later that day, when it had gotten dark outside and the lawn was plastered with abandoned bikes and a few cars parked nearby, you realized how painfully true you had spoken.

Cregan’s party had been going strong for a while now and you felt like a hermit, hiding upstairs in your room to avoid the chaos that was probably taking place downstairs.

You had curled up by the window with a book, but couldn’t find peace. 

Every minute, someone downstairs was calling for a toast or more shots which was celebrated by everyone. Music was blasting through the speakers and you groaned internally at the way the vibrations could be felt through your carpet.

Cregan could only pull this because the neighbors loved him for helping out here and there sometimes and because he always miraculously managed to clean up the house like nothing wild had ever occured here.

When you heard something shatter downstairs, you had enough.

You closed your book and got up. 

Sure, you had wanted to stay away from all the fuzz Cregan’s friends made, but this was still your house. You were allowed to move around whenever you wanted.

You muttered the words to yourself as you closed your door behind you, stomping down the staircase Cregan had declared taboo for everyone.

No one really took notice of their host’s little sister as you walked down the hallway, past many guests who were lingering by the walls and chatting with each other.

Making your way past the living room, you could see that the couch table had been pushed back for more space to dance, but the kitchen was relatively empty compared to the rest of the house.

There were multiple open pizza cartons on the counter and you grabbed yourself an extra cheesy slice as you looked around, amazed at how none of these people seemed to care who was walking around here. 

All except one.

“I thought you might’ve taken refuge tonight at Baela’s.” Jace said behind you and you turned around with a sigh, smiling at him in playful annoyance.

“I wish I could’ve, but she is not in town as you might know.” You told him, munching on your pizza. “She’s at some bonding activity dinner with her dad.”

Jace hummed knowingly. “I heard. So you had no choice but to suffer the consequences of Cregan’s actions?”

The two of you looked around and you winced when you heard some splashes coming from the backyard, accompanied by some carefree shrieks of delight. Jace bit his lip, a little guilty at your discomfort. 

“I’ll come around tomorrow and help him clean everything up.” He offered as a small comfort, his hand itching to rest on your shoulder like you had done to him. “There won’t be a dirty spot, I promise.”

“I know, Jace.” You sighed. “Thank you, truly. Where is my brother, by the way?”

Jace looked flustered to the ground, before smiling at you without teeth. “I think he went somewhere with a girl.”

“Of course he did.” Another loud crash went down outside and something in you snapped. “Okay, I’m going to go outside for a second, I don’t think some of these assholes realize we have neighbors, hold on-”

Jace looked over his shoulder, telling a group nearby to keep it down a little before he followed you.

For just a moment, you disappeared in the crowd and he had no idea which side you had gone for, trying to stand taller to spot you in the garden.

You quickly found the source to all the noisiness.

Three of Cregan’s guests, all boys you had never seen before in your life, were battling themselves for the biggest jump in the pool, splashing everywhere and soaking the pillows on the sun chairs with water.

“Hey.” You stared them down, blocking one of them from taking another leap in the pool. “Could you stop being an ass and jumping into the pool like a maniac? We have neighbors on each side of our backyard and it’s almost midnight, it’s so rude.”

The guy grinned down at you, looking over his shoulders to his smirking friends. “Did you hear that, guys? I think Cregan’s mom just came home, are you the fun police or what?”

You stared at him, irritated at such rude behavior. “I’m just telling you to calm down a little or I’ll kick you out, how’s that?” You might’ve been only Cregan’s little sister, but growing up with a fiercely protective brother like him, you had learned to stand your ground. And you were not scared of an idiot who looked like he had pissed his pants.

“Aww, I think you need a little fun, don’t you think?” He looked down on you, stepping closer until you felt the need to step back. “How about a little cool-off for you, huh?”

And with those words, he abruptly pushed you into the pool and everything went dark around you.

The people who had watched the heated exchange gasped and Jacaerys perked up as he heard nothing but quietness, quickly pushing his way through the crowd.

He came to a sudden stop at the edge of the pool, his eyes flickering back and forth between the guys standing by the edge and the water’s surface, its softening waves quietening down.

But underneath it, illuminated by the night lamps of the pool, he saw you and his eyes widened.

He did not think, did not even hesitate before he jumped into the water after you.

The surprising cold was like a shock to his system, his wet clothes dragging him down to where you floated, your eyes wide open but unseeing as you watched the bubbles around you.

Suddenly, you were six again and you couldn’t move.

You thought you were dying and no one would know, no one would know what you still had to say.

You wanted to kick and scream, to do something goddammit, but you were paralyzed by the sudden overwhelming scare.

Jace blinked and pushed himself forward, icy fear shooting through his veins when you gave no reaction that you had taken any notice of him. But the fear was quickly joined by the rage, anger over you, the most innocent being in this whole house, having been the one who took the most damage tonight...

Jace and you broke through the surface, the air rushing back into your lungs all at once and making you gasp painfully. Disoriented, you clung to Jace's shirt, looking around wildly as he pulled you close and soothed you.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here, it's okay, love." He murmured near your ear and you felt your body slump, not able to hold yourself up yet.

You felt his hands on your waist and then, with one hand around your back and the other supporting the back of your knees, he walked towards the low end of the pool, carrying you out as if you weighed nothing.

You painfully became aware of how quiet it had gotten around you. Everyone in the garden was looking at you, shocked and a little ashamed that a foul joke like that had escalated into something so serious.

Something ugly and hot burned in your throat and you buried your face in Jace's wet neck, holding on to him for dear life and wishing everyone would just disappear.

A helpless whimper escaped you and Jace held you only tighter. "It's okay, I got you. I won't let anything happen to you, we're almost out."

Both of your clothes hung heavily down your bodies as he left the pool with you, throwing one last deathly glance at the guy who messed with you before he made his way towards the house, still mumbling little sweet nothings in your ear as you tried to regulate your breathing to no avail.

You shivered even as you entered the warm house and simply tried to focus yourself on Jace. He efficiently made his way through your home and before you knew it, he was walking up the taboo staircase, going straight to your room.

You quietly sniffled to yourself, letting him carry you a few more steps before he gently set you down on your bed. He looked around, one hand brushing back his wet hair, and found your fluffy bathrobe hanging by the door.

"Can I?" He asked lowly, his heart aching at your slumped form on the bed. This whole incident had deeply shaken you to the core. "You're going to be cold soon if you don't get out of your…wet clothes."

If the situation had been different, you'd match his fierce blush, but it was like every feeling of shame had vanished from your chest and only left you empty. You nodded silently, taking the bathrobe he handed you before he turned around and faced the door.

You quickly slipped out of your clothes and sighed when you were enveloped by the fluffy robe.

"You can look again…" You told him and he turned around with a shaky exhale.

Normally, his job here was done now. He could go, rejoin the party and find Cregan so he'd kick those guys out.

But Jace could not imagine a single place where he was needed more in this moment than right here, with you.

"Should I make you a tea?" He broke the silence, fidgeting with his hands. When one of his younger brothers was hurting, he'd always make it better with a hug, but you were different, you were so much more-

"Can you just hold me for a while?" You pulled the rope tighter around you, your wet hair still clinging to your neck and cheeks. "Please?"

Maybe the leap into the pool had made you silly. It was bold and daring and you had no right to ask him of this, but your heart had spoken deeply from its core and you found that you did not wish to take the words back.

Jace's gaze softened at your plea. "Of course." He mumbled softly and sat down beside you.

A heavy shudder ran through you as his arms pulled you against him and you gladly fell into his side; letting yourself be held like a small child, your hands clinging to the arm wrapped around you.

You couldn't help yourself when your bottom lip started to wobble again and neither of you had to say it, he knew why this had been so scary to you. You felt his chin rest on your hair and his strong arms around you and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be comforted by him.

You had dreamed about being held by him, more than you could ever count, but not like this. It was a bittersweet feeling and when you snuggled yourself closer to him, in need for warmth and him, Jace took a deep breath.

"We should find you a towel." He murmured, his lips ghosting over your temple just like his hand had ghosted over your thigh…

You shivered, but not because you were cold anymore.

"I don't want you to get sick."

You nodded, sitting up with him and looking deep into his eyes. He didn't seem like he was able to get up just yet, the two of you lost in each other.

He had jumped into the cold water for you, not even hesitating a second. Your heart brimmed with love for him, nearly as bad as what it felt like to drown. And god, how you wanted to drown in him…

His dark eyes flickered down to your mouth and only now, you realized how close you still were sitting together, the slip of your bathrobe revealing half of your naked thigh to him.

"Jace…" You whispered and prayed all the prelude of wanting him and not being sure if you were allowed to have him was finally over now. "I-"

The door to your room opened and in came Cregan, panting as if he had run upstairs. 

"Shit, are you okay?" He rushed to you, kneeling in front of the bed and looking you over in concern. "I was told what happened, I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay." You mumbled, not wanting to worry him further. You already had scared Cregan badly enough for one time in your lives. "Jace helped me."

If Cregan noticed that he and you were still linking pinkies, he did not say anything about it. "I threw these fuckers out right away. The party is over."

You blinked at him. "What? You were excited about it all week. You don't have to-"

"Almost everyone is gone already." Cregan tried to smile encouragingly at you, but you could still see the worry in his eyes. "How about you'll change into something dry and I make us a snack? Are you sure you’re okay?"

"I'll leave you two." Jace announced quietly and squeezed your hand once more. "I'll go downstairs and make sure everyone is gone."

For just a moment, you did not want to let go of his hand and your fingers brushed midair before he slipped out of your grasp.

As the door closed behind him and Cregan brought you a towel for your hair, you already missed him like a lost limb.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🌸.

Of course, what had to happen, happened; a few days later, you found yourself sick.

Neither you nor Cregan had told your parents how the party had abruptly ended, a secret deal between the two of you so they wouldn't worry too much about you and they didn't have to punish Cregan for it.

So, your days at the end of summer were spent on the couch downstairs, curled up under a blanket and frequently attended by Cregan who brought you snacks and chocolate milk. It sucked and it was boring since you quickly ran out of books, but it was better than the horrible panic that went through you when you had been thrown into the pool.

On day three though, you had a visitor.

You blinked as steps approached your little sickbed, still a bit sleepy from your afternoon nap and the delicious noodle soup that had been made for you. But to your surprise, Cregan only stood at the staircase, smiling fondly at you before disappearing upstairs, making room for Jace who had waited behind him.

Your heart skipped a beat and a thousand thoughts rushed through your head. When had you showered the last time, did you comb your hair this morning, were you-

"Hey." Jace said softly. "I wanted to see if you were feeling better."

"A little." You smiled at him, sitting up and placing your wolf in your lap as he walked towards you. "You didn't have to come though, I don't want you to get sick."

He brushed your worries away and sat down on the carpet in front of your couch. "I brought you some tea. Raspberry was your favorite, right? And then, I thought you might want some new reading material."

You gasped as he conjured up a big bouquet of wildflowers from behind his back. At the first glance, it was only the most beautiful flower bouquet you had ever seen, but then you spotted a book in the middle of the blossoms.

And then another one.

And another one.

"Jace…" You whispered with wide eyes, shaking your head at him in disbelief. "You made me a flower bouquet with books?"

He bit his lip in flusteration, a pretty pink blush appearing on his cheeks. "Yeah...I went to the bookstore you work at and thought about what you might enjoy. I hope you like them, I kept the receipt just in case and-"

"Jace." You interrupted him and now it was your turn to blush as you pressed the bouquet to your chest, the new books in the middle of it already singing your name. "This is the loveliest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you, I love it so much. I bet the books you chose are wonderful."

In this moment, it didn't matter to you that you were sick and still a little nasal. The way he smiled up at you, like you were his entire world and his shoulders sagged with relief - your heart screamed at you to finally give in.

Give in to him.

The wrapping paper around your bouquet rustled against your chest as you bent forward and rested a careful hand on Jacaerys' cheek.

He looked up at you with wide puppy eyes, thunderstruck at the tender touch and then you really didn't know anymore who made the first move but it didn't matter, because then-

Your lips touched softly.

It barely was a real kiss, merely the brush of a butterflies' wing against you, but it was all you had longed for for so long.

Neither of you dared to breathe, the moment too soft and fragile to become anything deeper. But you felt him exhale shakingly, his thumb softly holding your chin to keep you close for just a moment longer. It was the softest first kiss you could’ve imagined for yourself.

You leaned back, but only a little, and watched as Jace's eyes blissfully fluttered open, fixing your own wide ones dreamily.

"If I would've known books are the way to your heart, I would've brought you some so much earlier." He confessed breathlessly.

You shook your head, your lips still tingling from this first shy kiss. "You have been in my heart since I first met you."

Jacaerys wanted to melt from the victorious roar his heart let out, a dragon taking flight. "I've been in love with you, too. Ever since Cregan introduced us."

Your hands found their way to each other before you let out a sudden laugh.

"What is it?" He wanted to know.

"I just- I kissed you."

He grinned. "Yeah, you did." And he was in need of a repetition already.

"Jace, you're going to be sick like me." You pointed out guiltily, although it didn't seem too bad to have a companion in your little misery, especially if it was him.

"Oh." He did not look like he had a single care for the consequences of your actions. 

"Are you two done yet down there?!" Cregan called from upstairs and when your eyes met, you broke into laughter and your heart blossomed at Jace's happy giggle.

It knew now that he was yours.

And you were his, just as he had once written on your upper thigh…

***

Later that night, the chalet is quiet once again. Your shift was long over and you only had to cook dinner for Luke after all, with the rest of the boys piling into the car and heading into town. Maybe Luke preferred lurking around like your own personal goblin and who are you to deny him that pleasure?

“Make enough for yourself too.”

“Planning on trapping me in here with you?”

“It's a pretty nice place to be trapped. Not to mention the amazing company.”

Luke hovers while you cook, offering increasingly unhelpful assistance.

“Need me to cut something?”

“I’m good,” you say quickly, not even looking up. “I don’t want you cutting off your finger.”

“I can cook, you know? Not just a pretty face.”

“I beg to differ. Plus, even if you can cook, you're not as good as me.” You point the wooden spoon at him threateningly. “Now sit down. You’re distracting me.”

He crosses his arms, leaning against the counter with a light indignation. “Distracting?”

“You heard me.”

Considering he looks so absolutely pleased with himself, you find yourself regretting your word choice, but what’s said is said and what’s done is done. You’ve even begun building up some kind of immunity to his teasing (or at least you’d like to think so).

He doesn’t mention it further or prod about what exactly about him you found so darn distracting. 

Instead, Luke finally settles onto one of the stools while you continue cooking, moving around the kitchen like it’s second nature. You barely have to think about it, shifting between pans with ease.

“You really love this, don’t you?” he asks eventually.

“Cooking?” You shrug. “Yeah. Helps me think.”

“Hm.”

He offers nothing else, just watching you in your element.

The smell wafts into his nose as you chop up garlic and parsley, your eyes darting from the chopping board to the sizzling pan of onion, adjusting the temperature to make sure nothing burns. It’s a sort of art to him, like you’ve taken all his attention hostage and he couldn’t look away from you if he tried. Every movement you make is like a brushstroke on a blank canvas. 

He leans forward, hands resting on his elbows as the painting forms right in front of his eyes. 

It’s different from watching you stumble down a slope and faceplant spectacularly. Here, every movement is confident, like this is the one place where you never second-guess yourself.

Luke finds himself smiling slightly.

“You get this look on your face.”

You glance over your shoulder mid-skillet toss, “What look?”

“Like the rest of the world stopped existing to you.”

“That's because it did,” you say, turning back to the stove. “If I burn dinner because I'm talking to you, that's on your conscience.”

“Good thing I don't have one.”

You snort softly and focus back on the food. 

He’s more than happy to just watch. 

***

You plate everything up a little while later, prideful as hell. Just as you’ve made this ski season your bitch, you made this dinner your bitch. With a smile, you slide his plate over before plopping down across from him. Prime position to see his reaction to your food. 

Luke digs in immediately, not too dissimilar to a ravenous bird, his eyes fluttering shut before landing on you again. He looks between you and the plate, making you eye him suspiciously. 

“What?”

“You’re a good cook. Seriously, no bullshit,” he answers. 

“No bullshit?” 

He nods enthusiastically in response before trying to inhale the noodles in front of him.

“Thanks,” you reply sheepishly. “Might wanna go to culinary school or something.”

He looks up from his plate curiously, mid-chew.

He's just a carousel of expressions today, isn't he?

“Don’t look at me like that. I have ambitions.”

“Then why aren’t you in culinary school already?” he wonders, gulping down a bite almost as quick as he put it in his mouth.

“I’m figuring shit out. Not all of us are world-class Olympians, Mr Castellan, with snowboarding running through our veins.”

“Mr Castellan? Be careful, I might like that a little too much.”

“Shut up.”

“No, it sounds good when you say it.”

Too flustered to mount any offence… But it felt different now. That emotion in the air felt a lot less like hate and more like—

No. Fuck no.

You look down at your plate, your mind swirling out of control. You don’t like him. You don’t like him. You don’t like him. 

“Just eat your food. I’ll kick your ass if you let it get cold,” you mumble, your eyes still not leaving the plate. 

“So bossy.”

“Eat.”

“Yes, chef.”

***

After dinner, the two of you ended up sprawled across his bedroom floor, backs resting against the side of the bed while some random nature documentary played quietly from his laptop.

This is way too comfortable.

A chalet host probably shouldn’t be lounging around in their client’s bedroom at nearly midnight and wearing their clothes. Or rather, they definitely shouldn't. If your manager found out, she’d have your head on a platter.

But after today, that hundred-foot wall around your heart had cracked at least a little.

You peel your eyes away from the penguins waddling on screen to sneak a glance over at him. And without meaning to, you keep looking and looking and looking. 

Luke’s glasses have made a grand reappearance; the audience in your head applauds. They’re sitting low on his nose, not being the most functional, and still driving you mad. The warm lamp light next to him even softens his features, making him look like the boy next door.

“What is it?” Luke asks eventually with a quiet huff, eyes still on the screen. 

The air is temporarily knocked out of your lungs as you try to formulate a response.

How did he notice? Does he have eyes on the side of his head?

“What's what?”

Not a good response, but a response nonetheless.

“Don't you know it's rude to stare?” He says, before reaching out and poking your forehead.

“Careful. I might injure your index finger too. Plus, I've seen you staring once or twice. What's going through your mind, Mr Castellan?”

A soft chuckle passes his lips. “I'm just trying to figure you out.”

“What about me exactly?” you question with a nudge of his shoulder.

“I don't know. You’re hard to pin down, I guess.” 

“Okay?”

“You know what I mean. One second you’re threatening me, and the next second you’re making me laugh. I want to understand you a little better, that's all.” 

“I told you about my cooking dreams. Is that not enough, or are you insistent on prying every detail out of me?”

“Yes.”

You roll your eyes, which only seems to make him happy. Maybe you should stop doing it so often. Or maybe he should stop making it so easy. 

“Okay, okay, let's start simple. What was your major?”

“…Physics.”

“Physics?” he gawks, so much so that it offends you. 

“Don’t act so surprised.”

“You’re telling me you can cook, yell at children, and do physics?”

“I didn’t say I was amazing at all three.”

“You’re insane.”

“That’s rich coming from a man who willingly throws himself down mountains for fun.”

“Yeah, yeah. So what happened? How did the physics major end up in a chalet?”

“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?”

You lean your head back against the mattress, eyes drifting toward the ceiling.

“I don’t know. I think I spent a lot of my life doing what I was supposed to do.” Your fingers pick absentmindedly at the sleeve of his hoodie. “Good grades, good school, sensible plans…”

“And now?”

“Now I kinda want to try everything. Climb every mountain or whatever.”

“Making up for lost time?”

“Something like that.”

There’s a soft silence that passes between the two of you. It’s been a while since you’ve been so open and with Luke of all people. It’s easier than you would’ve ever expected. 

“Your turn,” you say softly after a while, nudging his knee lightly with yours. “What’s your deal? What made you choose snowboarding?” You tilt your head at him. “And I don’t mean the media-trained answer.”

Luke lets out a quiet breath through his nose. For once, he doesn’t immediately joke his way around the question.

He rolls his shoulder back slightly before leaning further against the bed behind him, head tipping back against the mattress.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” You scoot closer until you’re right next to him. 

No going back now. 

“Snowboarding is my life. It's one of the only things in my life that's actually mine. My dad… the impact he’s had on me is kind of impossible to avoid, even though he wasn’t around when I was growing up. Not really.”

You frown as you notice the way Luke stares at his hands while he talks, picking at his nails even though there’s nothing there. 

“And your mother…?” you ask gently.

“She lives in a psychiatric care centre.”

He starts to toy with a ring on his finger, taking it off to roll and press it between his fingertips, hard enough to sting a little. He visits only as much as he can bear but not as much as he should. 

“Sometimes she's lucid, like she's the exact same as she was when he was a kid, telling him about the constellations and myths and all this random stuff she used to love 

But other times, most times, she's lost,” he continues. 

The last time he visited her, he remembers her reaching out and saying, “Hermes, you came back.”

She wasn’t looking at him, she was looking through him. Like dreaming of nothing but a ghost. 

“It's me, Mom. Luke.”

Her expression faded into confused, “Luke?” The name was unfamiliar on her lips, like she couldn't quite place it. 

“Right, Luke…” she mumbled more to herself than anything else before a weak smile appeared on her face.

“You look just like your father.”

It started happening more often, and all Luke could do was watch. Her mind was and will forever be caught in a loop. 

He feels guilt for leaving her, but fears it might turn to resentment if he stays too long.

“When we were struggling, when my mother was literally losing her mind, he was nowhere to be seen.”

He lets out a sharp humourless scoff, putting his ring aside.

“But the moment I get a trophy, I matter. And–and I’ve told him. Told him right to his face what I thought of him, that I hated him and never wanted to see him again. But none of it seemed to even you know… register. Like it didn’t matter if I didn’t see him as my Dad as long as the world did. All that, and I’m still his favourite son.”

You wince as he finishes speaking. The words don't find themselves quick enough, as you fumble with your sleeve. “That’s… fucked up.”

“Yeah. That’s the word.”

You can feel it all. Beneath that confident exterior was a kid who deserved more than he got from his father and had his mother taken from him too soon.

“I mean, it's not like I don't know that I’m better without him. I know I don’t need him, that I’m just a means to an end with him. But I still can't help but feel the need to push myself, and it pisses me off because what do I have to prove?” he laments, voice strained, choked up as he pushes back tears. 

“What do I have to prove?” he repeats to himself. It’s a lot quieter, barely even a croak. The energy leaves his body, like the strings that were holding him upright went slack.

In one smooth moment, you pull him into your arms. You feel him stiffen for a moment, obviously battling with his need to be independent, to push you away so you can’t get close enough to hurt him.

But he relaxes into your arms, hiding his face in your shoulder as he tries to will the tears away. He's been tired for far too long.

“Will you stay?” he murmurs. You pull back to look at him, shocked at his words. He wanted you to stay with him?

“Stay the night? Do you think…?” The joke you were about to tell falls silent when you see the look on his face. 

He was sad, completely unable to hide it. You couldn't just leave him all on his own like this. You weren't heartless. 

“Fine. But you stay on your side of the bed.”

“And you stay on yours.”

The two of you lay down a wall of pillows down the centre of the bed. An impenetrable defence if you've ever seen one. 

“Goodnight.”

“Sleep tight, Bambi.”

“You too, Lukey.”

You don’t quite remember where you got that from, but it fits. 

***

Morning light greets you, the golden sun shining in from the blinds. You tilt your head out of its path, instinctively clinging to the darkness like a little vampire. 

Then you become acutely aware of the warmth beneath your cheek and the fact that it’s coming from Luke’s bare chest. 

The wall of pillows has been dissolved. So much for impenetrable, right?

One of Luke’s arms is loosely wrapped around your waist beneath the blankets, his hand resting on the small of your back as if he had fallen asleep tracing it. Your forehead feels tingly. The slow rise and fall of his breathing tickles your skin as he feels impossibly close to you. Even your legs are tangled together, or more accurately, his legs are trapping yours. 

You lift your head off his chest slowly, only to be guided back down by his hand. A soft pat keeps you in place. Damn him.

“Planning on sneaking out without saying goodbye? You know how to hurt a guy's feelings.”

“I have shit to do.”

“Oh really? Like what?”

“Like laundry or shopping or something. All of which I do for you.”

“All of that can wait. For now, just stay with me…please.”

You huff but ultimately end up settling back on his left side. As you listen to his breathing, you find yourself getting comfortable, maybe too comfortable. 

Intrusive thoughts take over, and you trace along his scar on his cheek. The touch of your fingers is as light as a feather, but still you hesitate.

“What’s this from?” you ask softly.

“Got it from trying to do a spinny thing, as you called it,” he replies, smirking a little. “Wiped out pretty hard and got this. Ruins my perfectly handsome face, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think so. Chicks love scars,” you tease lightly.

“Is that right?” he murmurs, leaning just slightly closer.

Your eyes flick away from the mark itself to look directly into his eyes. As you move your hand away, you feel a tingle at your fingertips, like what just happened to you is magical.

That feeling you’ve been trying your hardest to pretend doesn’t exist has yet again decided to rear its ugly head once again with an annoying pitter-patter in your chest.

Luke’s brows lift slightly. “Can’t handle a little eye contact, Bambi?”

“Shut up. I’m not a part of your fan club,” you tell him.

“And why not?” he asks with a fake pout.

“I find you arrogant and obnoxious.”

“Ouch,” he says, hand to his chest. “Tell me more.”

You hate how much he’s enjoying this, the push and pull is something addictive.

“And you have no concept of personal space.”

“Says the girl who was just fondling my scar.”

“Says the guy who enjoyed it.”

“You enjoyed it too,” he murmurs.

He reaches out, cupping your face, thumb brushing your cheek but you counter by grabbing his wrist before he can pull away. 

Two can play this game, Castellan. 

“What are you doing?” There’s a slight tremor in his voice, and you’re living for it. It’s not often you catch Luke Castellan off guard.

You bring his wrist up, pressing a kiss to his pulse point and you’re pretty sure his heart is beating just as fast as yours.

“Heart’s beating awfully fast,” you tease.

“No, it's not.”

“I beg to differ.”

That earns you a sharp look and Luke opens his mouth like he’s about to argue again. But nothing comes out fast enough because you’re already planning your getaway. He feels the warmth of your body start to pull away, and he misses it. 

“I have to go,” you say breezily, as you grab your things. “I like to get to the supermarket early. Get the best deals and all that shizz.”

“Shizz? And you’re—what?”

But his many questions go unanswered as you make an awkward dash for the door and disappear. Luke sits there for a second, staring at the empty space you left.

Then, he says your name to no one at all, followed by a tired “…What the hell.”

He drags a hand down his face and throws himself down against his pillows quite melodramatically. As he shifts over to your side of the bed, he sighs.

“Perfume…” he groans.

It’s all over his pillows, his sheets, him. You’d linger for days, and there’s no way he’d be able to get you off of his mind. 

Flashes of your face come to the forefront of his mind, different images, your face playing on repeat. Maybe his brain’s broken or in need of service.

He buries his face in the pillow, going still as a plank before kicking the blanket off with his swinging legs.

“What is happening to me?”

***

The bus jostles underneath you as you look out the window. You're headed back to the resort from your impromptu trip to the supermarket feeling just as lost as before. Despite your greatest efforts your mind is still in bed with Luke.

A thunk rings out as the cold glass meets your cheek. Slowly but surely, as your eyes grow heavy and the winding path through the busy town grows weary, you find yourself drifting off.

Suddenly, you're back in Luke's room, curtains drawn, soft candles around you.

“Luke?”

“Hey, Bambi.”

He tips your chin up, exposing your neck.

“What are you doing?” 

Your voice has jumped up an octave and you’re pretty sure you’re doing a whole deer in the headlights kind of thing. All you can focus on is him. How unbearably close he is. His hands travel from your rest on your cheek. 

“You're so…” you start, the words melting on your tongue at his warm touch. 

“I know.”

He leans in and kisses behind your ear, the sensation sending flutters through your whole body. Giving you everything but what you really need.

The bus jolts to a stop, sending your knees sliding forward into the seat in front of you as you wake up. 

What the hell was that?

You feel like you’re going insane, but that’s been a common occurrence since you met Luke. 

Him and his stupid face and stupid hair and— 

You catch yourself smiling, and then you slap yourself in the face.

“Get your shit together!” you yell, causing a few concerned heads to turn towards you. You fumble your way to the front of the bus and step off. Maybe some fresh air could do you some good. Well, if you could get some fresh air. 

You find yourself wading through crowds of people all standing around, and it’s not just the usual tourists. Way more bodies in the way, a few “excuse me” along the way.

As you navigate the crowd, it's cameras galore.

A fucking circus, actually.

In amongst the chaos, you find Bridget standing behind a pillar, not so subtly eavesdropping on a conversation or two.

“Bridge, wait up!”

She turns around and sees you. Then with a sense of urgency, she leads you over to a quieter corner like she’s about to tell you a secret.

“What’s all this for?” you ask.

“It’s for Luke Cas—”

She catches your scathing glare and gulps.

“I mean, it’s for Luke. Just Luke.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Apparently, he’s got a new girlfriend.”

“...huh?”

She pulls out her phone, thumbs tapping at the speed of light before turning the screen toward you.

Your stomach drops before you even look. Photos of Luke and the supposed “unnamed girlfriend”, as dubbed by the article, laughing and having an absolute time together in the snow. 

But one thing becomes evident to you…that's the back of your head, your jacket and your boots.

Of all the people for him to get caught with, it had to be you?

Bridget is still talking, words tumbling out faster now. “It’s all over…well, everywhere, and some fan accounts are saying it’s like a soft launch or—oh my god, you’re not okay—”

“I’m fine.”

Bridget slings her arm around your shoulder. “You don't have to lie, not to little ol’ me.”

“I’m not.”

“It’s okay. You don't have to be strong.”

“I—”

She shushes your further protests and leans your head against her shoulder. Her hands stroke your face and provide very little comfort. In fact, it might just be doing the opposite.

“Maybe it's not even serious between them.”

“If he is in a relationship with this,” you wave your hands around for dramatic effect, “mystery girl, what would I even care?”

Bridget pulls back and puts her hands on her hips like it's obvious.

“You've had this whole ‘will they, won't they’ thing going on with Luke. It's natural that you'd be devastated.”

You scoff at her word choice, but then again this is Bridget.

“Devastated is crazy—”

“Cry on my shoulder. I can take it… Actually maybe not, this shirt is white so it's an utter nightmare to clean—”

“No shoulder required.”

She holds out her pinky. “Promise?”

You smile and wrap your pinky around hers. If you ever needed someone to count on, it's her.

“Promise.”

“Good. And just for you, I’m ready to slander her online if we ever find out her name.”

“Please don't.”

“No promises.”

***

You enter the chalet glad to be away from all the chaos. Quinn was running around like the human embodiment of stress, trying to quell the madness with nothing but a clipboard. If one more reporter asked “Where's Luke Castellan?” she probably would've exploded.

As you close the door behind you, Chris looks up from where he’s lounging on the arm of the couch, takes one look at you, and immediately grins.

“Oh,” he says, far too pleased with himself. “Unnamed girlfriend has entered the building.”

You let out the world’s loudest groan as you kick off your shoes, making sure to give Chris a pointed look. 

“Please don’t start.”

“It’s not my fault the two of you were being all lovey-dovey for the press.”

Luke appears looking like he’s been teased about this all day, hunched over and tired. 

Without hesitation, he takes your hand and leads you away from his friends. A stray comment or two about how “adorable you guys looked” lobbed your way at his expense. 

Your footsteps hasten as he tugs you towards his room. With a jolt forward, he immediately collapses on the bed as soon as he's close enough, still holding onto your wrist.

You look down at him and his deflated form, melting into the bed.

“Are you good?” 

“Needed a break from the media,” he murmurs into the sheets.

“Your PR team got you doing interviews?”

He nods, still face down. “Downside of the job. Had to talk to a few reporters. Keep the sharks at bay, you know?

“How did this rumour start?”

He finally lets go of your wrist, the ghost of his touch still tingling there before he rolls over.

“Paparazzi caught some pictures of you coming and going. Tried to paint a narrative that you were my girlfriend. Tabloid shit.”

“And what did you tell them?” you ask as you plop down next to him. You find yourself nervous about his answer as if there was a possibility that he might have told them that you’re his—

“I told them that you're just a friend, and I didn't tell them you work here. I'm quite media savvy.”

“I bet.”

The soft chuckle you let out afterwards sounded… forced. He sits up and looks at you like he’s trying to see under the surface. All this talk of you being his girlfriend had you thinking of what it would be like if you were.

Falling asleep next to one another like you did the other night, except with no pillow wall. Just you and him. The warmth of his chest against your cheeks, your fingers toying with the strings on his sweatpants as you close your eyes.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You always want to know what I'm thinking, don't you?”

You poke his forehead, and he doesn't try to swat you away.

“Just tell me,” he whines.

“I'm thinking about…” You tut, tapping your chin as you deliberately draw out the words before turning to face him. “...how ridiculous this is.”

Luke sits up, your legs bumping against one another. He's so close now that your arms brush every time either of you moves.

“What's ridiculous?”

“That people think we could be dating.” You shake your head with a laugh. “If they actually knew us and heard us talk to each other, they'd immediately realise you're my enemy.”

“I don't think that's far enough.”

“No?”

“I'm your nemesis.”

“I quite like that,” you chuckle.

You shuffle a little closer without realising, your shoulder knocking gently against his. “Plus, I'm not your type.”

He scoffs at that answer as if offended. “I don't have a type. But I will say if you weren't so annoying, so stubborn and so incapable of admitting I’m right—”

“You literally never are,” you interject.

“See? If it wasn't for all of those things and the fact that you assaulted me with a crab leg. I might be into you.”

“That's rich.”

“I mean it. You're fun to be with despite our many arguments, you have this charming little way of going about your day, so determined to not let anything get you down. I really admire that, y’know? Not to mention how beautiful you are.”

“Beautiful?”

For a moment, it's as if time stands still.

“You took my breath away the first time I saw you.”

Your eyes widen when you realise he's being serious.

“I saw you slip on the snow as you walked up to me, that bright little smile when you said hi. Then you proceeded to welcome me to the resort by calling me a dick.”

“Only because you signed my face, asshole. I had to wash my face three times, and even then there was a faded Luke on me for days.”

You shove him lightly in the shoulder. He nudges you back, and for the first time, both of you can laugh about it.

“You know,” he says quietly, “I've snowboarded down mountains that should've scared the hell out of me. I've stood at the top thinking, One wrong move and I'm done.”

“And?”

“And none of it has ever made me as nervous as sitting here with you.”

“Really?”

He nods as his fingers find yours on the blanket between you, hesitant enough that you could pull away if you wanted, but you don't. Instead your had curls into his, holding on tight.

“I've spent weeks trying to convince myself this wasn't real, that the feelings I had for you would just pass. But it never did, you made it impossible. Every time you left, I found myself counting down the minutes until I'd see you again. You're always running through my mind, and I—I'm just going to say it. Something I should've said a long time ago.”

You both gulp at the same time, scared about what he’s about to say and what you’re about to hear. 

“I like you.”

“You're serious?”

“I've never been more serious. And if there's even the smallest chance that you—”

You don't let him finish, you guys have done more than enough talking. Your hand finds the back of his neck, fingers disappearing into his curls as you pull him toward you.

Your lips met in the middle, and in the most cliché fashion, it was fireworks. Not an awkward first kiss after your junior prom or a forgettable one at your front door after a mediocre first date. 

Fireworks.

One hand cups your cheek as he kisses you harder, like he wanted to leave the feeling of his lips there long after he stopped kissing you.  

If only it could last forever. 

When you finally pull away, you're barely an inch apart and you see Luke blinking at you, completely stunned.

“…I was giving a really good speech.”

You laugh, your hands resting on his thighs as you lean even closer. His personal space is now your personal space.

“It was getting a little long. Thought I should shut you up.”

“If this is shutting me up, then feel free to do it whenever you want.”

And before either of you can say another word, he kisses you again. 

You climb on top of him, pinning him to the bed. He looks up at you, completely transfixed by how you look. He might just replay this moment in his head for a lifetime. 

He leans up only to pull you back down and steal your breath with a kiss. A kiss so deep it’s like you’re each other’s oxygen.

“Don't wanna…” you gasp between kisses. “Never wanna…”

Another kiss knocks your thoughts straight from your head.

Your lips are like magnets. The moment he pulls away, he’s already leaning back in, like even one second was too long to be apart from you. 

“Never wanna stop kissing you.”

You’re completely drunk off his kisses. Intoxicated by the way he’s smiling against your lips.

He's hungry for you, starving even. Desperate to feel your lips on his, like your touch is the cure to what's been driving him crazy. 

For weeks, you've been on his mind. Every time you’d brush past him or laugh, it was like you were living in his skin, consuming his every thought. He was so gone. 

A toe-curling groan leaves his lips as your nails massage his scalp. He moves to kiss your neck just like he did in your dream. Deliberate little bites along your neck and collarbone that would no doubt bloom on your neck by tomorrow.

“Luke…” you moan, the sound echoing through the room. Only then do you come to your senses. Kissing him is one thing, but having sex with him? Now? With his friends downstairs? And currently embroiled in dating rumours?

“We should uh…”

Both of you breathing heavily, forehead resting on his once again, your shoulders rising and falling in sync. 

“Before we…”

“Yeah,” he replies in agreement, still trying to catch his breath.

“But we’ll reschedule. You just have to find an excuse to get all the boys out of the house.”

“On it.”

***

Luke is the best unofficial boyfriend ever.

A few weeks ago, you wanted him struck by lightning, and now all you wanted to do was snog his face off.

The two of you started going on shopping trips together instead of his usual tyrannical demands, and he made a good partner. 

“Now you get to carry all the shopping bags. Consider it my gift to you.”

He kissed your cheek. “I like you too much to argue.”

“How sweet.”

Or how he’s always kissing you every time he can get you alone in public, or not much to the dismay of everyone who has the misfortune of living with him. 

Just yesterday, you were rudely interrupted in the kitchen. He had you propped up on the counter as your hands slid into his hair and his hands roamed from your waist to your ass.

“Hey,” you mumbled against his lips.

Then a loud groan from Chris had you pulling apart. It had been happening all week. Every time he’d turn the corner to see you and Luke all over one another.

“We eat here!”

“Come back later.”

“Don't go back to the staff dorms,” he murmurs. “Stay with me.”

He has his whole pout on, looking so much like a lost puppy, and you can’t lie, it looks good on him. It has you thinking maybe you should do this more often. 

“Luke, I shouldn't spend every night here. I have my own room... my own clothes.”

“Then borrow my clothes or leave stuff here,” he says immediately. “I'll clear out a drawer. Hell, I'll empty half the closet if I have to.”

“You're ridiculous.”

Before you can argue again, his arms snake around your waist.

“Luke...”

You realise far too late it's a ploy to lift you clean off your feet and carry you around. 

“Luke!”

He holds you effortlessly in his arms like you weigh nothing, walking towards his room. 

“Please stay.”

“You're literally using your size against me.”

“Absolutely. And because I love holding you.”

You try your hardest to look annoyed, but it’s completely ineffective. Something about him has you looking smitten 24 hours a day. 

“I have movies,” he bargains. “And popcorn. And hot chocolate. And we could cuddle all night.”

“I have Mr Snugglesworth in my bed that I can cuddle with.”

“Sure you do, but he’s not as good-looking as me.”

You lightly punch his arm with a murmured “Whatever,” but your lips are curled into a smile. 

He finally sets you down gently on the top step, though his hands linger at your waist. Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. So soft it tickles a little bit. 

“Please?”

“Fine. Just don’t hog the covers.”

“I promise.”

He takes your hand as you head inside together, and all you can think is, Nothing could ruin this feeling.

***

The two of you are taking a walk, two paces apart, not to arouse suspicion, but the little giggles you’re letting out each time he cracks a joke aren’t helping anything. 

She watches the back of your head as you bob from left to right, frolicking through the hallways of the main lobby.

“So what?” you ask, shoving your hands deeper into your pockets as the two of you move through the warmly lit corridor. “You’re just going to follow me around now?”

“Am I not allowed?”

You roll your eyes, though there’s no real bite behind it anymore.

“You can do as you please. You’re Luke Castellan after all.”

Then suddenly he reaches out, catches your wrist, and gently pulls you back toward him before you can keep walking.

“Don’t do that,” he says quietly.

“Do what?”

“That thing where you say my name like that and expect me not to do anything.”

Your eyes flick to his mouth before you can stop yourself. You might just have to jump on him right here, right now. 

“Luke?” a voice calls out a few feet away.

The two of you look in the direction of the voice. A woman stands a few feet away near the lobby entrance, snow still dusting the shoulders of her coat from outside. 

She’s pretty, in that sort of effortless, early 2000s kind of way, draped in vintage Chanel and Galliano straight off the runway. 

Dark hair spills over her shoulders as she lowers her sunglasses to get a better look at him, her expensive luggage abandoned beside her like she forgot she was holding it.

“…Olivia?”

Your stomach drops as she walks up to him, wrapping her arms around him. He hesitates for a moment before giving in and hugging her back.

“It’s been far too long,” she murmurs against his neck. They hold onto one another before pulling back, and it cannot come soon enough. Air floods back into your lungs as you let go of a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. 

Olivia’s eyes dart over to you as you stand there awkwardly, suddenly feeling as small as you feel. “Who are you?”

You answer before Luke can.

“His chalet host.”

But Luke hears it immediately- that slight dejection in your tone but his brain isn’t moving fast enough to think of how to fix it. 

You stand there trying to make sense of the sudden tight feeling in your chest. You and Luke aren’t together. At least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself.

Olivia shifts awkwardly, glancing between the two of you as if trying to figure out the connection. “I saw the article.”

“So you came out here?”

“I got the first flight out of Hartford I could.”

“Why?” he asks carefully, a frown starting to form on his face. “We’re not… we haven’t been together for a long time.”

“I know,” Olivia says quickly, shaking her head. “I know. I just…” She laughs weakly at herself. “I suppose it was an impulse decision. I saw the articles and stopped thinking.”

Her eyes drift toward you again. Uncomfortable is the only way to describe it. 

“I needed to see you again.”

Luke rubs a hand over the back of his neck, clearly trying to figure out what the hell is happening and how to explain it to you. 

“Well, I should probably get back to work.”

“Wait—”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt quickly as you step backwards, already executing a strategic retreat. 

“Enjoy catching up,” you say. It sounds forced. More “chainsaw being shoved down your throat” than happy-go-lucky.

Then you turn and walk away before Luke can see the tears starting to well in your eyes. Behind you, you hear him call out your name as if he’s begging you to turn around. You don’t want excuses or explanations. It’s not like you’re dating him or anything. 

So you keep walking anyway.

***

He comes back to the chalet expecting noise and he certainly gets it. As he approaches the kitchen, he hears the usual lighthearted arguments over the remote, the “Hey Luke”s as he passes by the couch, and then the light sound of your laughter. 

Your laugh drifts out from the kitchen before he even rounds the corner, and it makes Luke slow instinctively.

You’re standing at the sink washing up dishes while Chris sits on top of the counter next to you, swinging one leg absentmindedly, clearly mid-story.

“Chris, I swear,” you laugh, pointing a dish towel at him threateningly. “If you ever tell anyone that story again—”

Luke steps into the kitchen, and the mood shifts instantly. Your laughter fades at the edges. Chris notices the sudden change in vibes for the worse and looks between the two of you. A pin could drop and the whole house would hear it at this point.

The silence stretches awkwardly for exactly three seconds before Chris slides off the counter.

“And that’s my cue,” he says. He grabs an apple as he leaves as quickly as he possibly can to join everyone else in the living room, totally not to eavesdrop. 

As Chris’s footsteps descend down the hall, Luke lets out a soft “Hey.”

You dry your hands slowly before answering.

“No Olivia?”

“She has her own suite.”

“I bet it’s nice to see her again.”

“It’s not like that.”

You shrug lightly, reaching for another dirty plate. “It’s none of my business if it were like that.”

“Seriously? This is how we’re doing this?”

“I have no right to care if you’re getting back together with your ex.”

“Getting back together?” Luke repeats, disbelief flickering across his face. “That’s—”

“She flew out here to see you because of an article. Clearly she’s serious about it, about you. But with us… it’s just been some harmless fun.”

“That’s what you think this was?” 

You busy your hands with the dish towel again because suddenly looking at him feels impossible.

“What else would it be? No, what else could it be? Think of the articles, ‘Luke Castellan caught slumming it with his nobody chalet host—”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“—talk about a downgrade.’ I mean, come on, Luke! Your ex is a fucking supermodel!”

“You know that doesn’t matter to me at all. I like you. I need you. And I don’t get why you’re acting like none of this mattered just because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared. I’m being realistic. This isn’t going anywhere, it can’t. The world won’t allow it. I won’t allow it.”

“Bullshit. I know you don’t mean that.”

“You don’t know what I mean.”

“I know you,” he shoots back.

The words hang heavily between you. And for one terrible second, you wish he hadn’t said them. Because part of you thinks he actually might.

“You think I’d look at you like this if it was just harmless fun?”

You hate that your eyes sting. You hate that he sounds sincere. And you hate that part of you that wants to believe him so badly. But all you can think about is Olivia showing up because she thought she still had a place in his life.

All you can think about is the headlines. The cameras. The fact that Luke Castellan belongs to a world that’s too big, too bright, too temporary. And people like you don’t survive in worlds like that.

“You should probably figure out what’s going on with her,” you say quietly, voice shaky. “I’ll request to be reassigned, and I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the week.”

The words hollow the room out the second they leave your mouth. You can’t bring yourself to look at him anymore. So you step around him instead, shoulders brushing lightly as you pass. And even now, your body reacts to him instinctively.

“Hey…”

You stop at the doorway but don’t turn around.

“Is that really what you want?”

No.

You close your eyes briefly and shake that thought away. What you wanted was nothing more than a pipe dream. Luke gets Olivia, and you get nothing. That’s the law of the world.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr Castellan,” you say softly.

Then you leave the kitchen before he can stop you.

Luke doesn’t move for a long time after you’re gone. He can still smell your perfume faintly in the air. Still hear your laugh echoing in the room from before he walked in and ruined everything.

“Fuck.”

Luke leans back against the counter, staring blankly toward the doorway you disappeared through.

***

He doesn't see you the next day. At first, he tells himself you're avoiding him. That after everything you said yesterday, you decided that it wasn’t worth all the trouble. Who would want to risk another argument?

As he waits and waits and waits, he starts to worry. Every creak of the floorboards has him in a state of high alert. 

He sighs as he walks over to the window, the weather doing absolutely nothing to lift his spirits.

The sky hangs heavy with dark clouds as thick flakes begin drifting past his bedroom window, gathering on every surface he can lay his eyes on.

All he can think to do now is look blankly through the glass like he had been all morning. He couldn't bring himself to leave his room. Part of him dreaded seeing you, and the other part dreaded never seeing you again. He wanted you to show up more than anything. Maybe even needed you to. 

If you really requested another chalet and today was the last chance he'd get to fix this, then he’d better make it count, right?

He reaches for his phone and calls the one person who would know where you are.

Bridget.

"Hello?"

"Hm... hello? The Bridge is speaking," she grumbles back at him, sounding half asleep.

"Is she there?"

"...Luke Castellan? To what do I owe the phone call?"

"Is she with you?"

"No, she totally left for work ages ago. Wait. She's not there yet?"

If he didn’t know where you were, and Bridget didn’t…

He shakes the thought out of his head. 

He couldn’t jump to conclusions. 

Maybe you were just taking a pleasant stroll, and then the snow started getting heavy, and suddenly a bear appeared, and you ended up running for your life, and you’re stuck up in a tree somewhere trying to fend off a hungry bear. 

Or maybe you’re having a coffee or something, everything's a possibility. 

"No. She, uh, never showed up."

"Fuck..."

He hears rustling on the other end as Bridget sits upright.

"Do you know where she'd go?" he adds.

"I..." Bridget hesitates. "There's a staff cabin about forty minutes into the woods. Sometimes people go there to get away for a while."

Luke immediately thinks back to when you showed it to him. The walk, you pointing at it through the trees.

"But in this weather..." Bridget continues nervously. "Luke, nobody would be out there."

"I have to try."

"Luke—" she starts as if trying to reason with him, but he's already hung up.

Luke starts tearing through his closet with no hesitation. Pulling on layers as quickly as he can and putting a jacket aside to give to you just in case he found you cold and shivering.  

Hearing the commotion, Connor pokes his head through the doorway only to see Luke getting dressed like a madman ready to take on a storm with his bare hands.

"...Dude? Where do you think you're going?"

"Where do you think? I'm going to find her. She didn’t show up here, but her roommate says she left her place, which means she might be in trouble."

“You do realise there’s a storm going on outside. It’s way too dangerous! I mean, they’re literally shutting the mountain down."

"If there's even a chance she's out there, I have to go. I don’t know what I’d do if I found out that she's been out there alone and I did nothing to help her."

"...Luke."

“You can’t stop me.”

***

This was a dumb idea. 

You should’ve just sucked it up and gone straight to work at the chalet, but now you’re trapped in a cabin at the risk of becoming an ice sculpture. This was the last way you thought your ski adventure would end. Buried under a pile of snow. 

Every time you thought you’d be able to leave, maybe run through the snow and make it back before dinner. But as the wind whipped harder and started to shake the outside of the cabin, that prospect died. So all you can do is hunker down and wait, but for how long, you don’t know.

Miraculously, you’re dozing off, a spare leftover blanket wrapped around your body. Your teeth chatter incessantly, echoing through the cabin. It wouldn’t be enough to keep you warm. A fireplace was conveniently left without any matches that you could see, and a cold draft snaked its way inside every time the wind howled. 

As your head lolls against the back of the sofa, the scratchy throw blanket rests against your cheek. Then you hear your name. It’s faint the first time but gets louder when a thunderous knock sends the door swinging open. 

There in all his glory, wrapped up like a snowman and ready to save you like your knight in warm gloves. 

You don’t even get off the couch before he’s in front of you. He discards his gloves, throwing them halfway across the room. He kneels down at the couch, face to face with you. 

“Luke?”

A warm palm cups your cheek, and you find yourself leaning into his touch. It’s a sweet affliction. Despite your best efforts, including marching headfirst into a snowstorm, you couldn't deny what Luke does to you. 

“You're freezing.”

“You're such an idiot.”

“I know.”

He pulls you in and hugs you tight, making you feel like a teddy bear all over again. For the first time since you got to this cabin, you feel safe. 

“Why did you come find me?”

“You know why.”

He pulls back to look at you and takes your hand, pulling you to your feet.

“Ready to get out of here?”

“Yes. Please.”

He steps outside only to be met with a barrage of wind and snow. It seems that in the two minutes he spent looking at you longingly, the snowstorm had doubled its efforts just to spite you.

“It looks like hell out there!”

“We'll be fine, the bike can handle it.”

He wakes through the snow and tries to start up the bike.

You hear a “Hm” as it only seems to sputter in response.

“Yes, yes, just give me—”

“Everything…okay?”

He turns the keys in the ignition again and it groans before giving up entirely.

Motherfucker.

“It’s dead?” you squeak. It’s now dawning on you that you will be spending the night here and you’re not liking it one bit. 

“Uh…”

“Quite the rescue mission.”

“I'm not the one who decided to run into the forest in the first place, so I had to come save your dumbass in a rush!”

“Any service?”

“None.”

“We have to stay until the storm passes. It's too far to walk, and it'll be getting dark soon.”

***

“Come here.”

“I’m close enough,” you bite back, hugging the blanket tighter around yourself.

“You're on the other side of the room.”

It was a bit ridiculous. You were huddled up all on your own and struggling to stop your teeth chattering while the human radiator was an entire couch length away. 

“Exactly.”

“You're going to freeze.”

“I'll survive.”

“No,” he says. He sounds far more serious now, as he moves closer. “You won't.”

The little cabin groans as another gust of wind slams into it. Snow rattles against the windows so violently you can barely see outside anymore. You were officially snowed in for the night with the one guy you didn't want to fall for. 

Luke pats the space beside him like he’s trying to coax a grumpy cat and to be honest, he’s not far off. 

“Body heat is the only thing that'll stop us from freezing to death.”

Your fragile emotions are telling you to stay where you are because if you move closer, you’ll end up cuddling, then kissing, then… potentially something else. But every survival instinct tells you he's right.

“…Fine.”

You shuffle across the wooden floor, blanket dragging behind you, until you're sitting beside him.

“Closer. I don’t bite.”

“Tell that to my neck. And don't push your luck, we’re not cool or whatever.”

“You're still shivering. I’m just trying to help you out, no ulterior motives, scout’s honour.”

A loud groan echoes in the cabin as you scooch up a little more. The position is familiar to you, bringing you right back to the few days you had together before everything went to shit. 

“There.”

Without a word, you unfold your blanket, draping half of it over his shoulders.

“You're sharing?”

“I'm not evil, and you’re right here so…”

The words come more easily now. Not because things are fixed. Because pretending they weren't broken suddenly feels impossible. The cabin falls quiet again. Just the crackling fireplace. The wind outside. And your shoulders pressed together beneath one blanket.

“…I'm sorry.”

You stare into the fire, watching as it licks at the wood.

Luke saying sorry? Have you switched to a different universe?

“For what?”

“For letting you think that there was something going on between me and Olivia. Believe me that ship has sailed and I’m glad it has.

“You don't have to explain—”

“Yes,” he says firmly. “I do.”

He turns your head away from the fire to face him. “I don’t like Olivia.

“When we broke up, I’ll admit it, I was hurt for a long time. But ultimately it ended for a reason. It wasn’t the same as it was when we were in college, we grew apart.”

“But she flew across the country for you.”

“I know.”

“And you looked… You looked like you still loved her. I saw the way you hesitated when she first showed up.”

“Because I didn't know why she was there. The only person I was worried about was you. And I should've come after you sooner.”

He cups your face in his hands as he loves to do, a soft smile sprouting on his face at finally having you this close again. Words can’t express how much he’s missed holding you in less than 24 hours. 

“...Well, I’m glad you did come back.”

“I couldn't stop thinking about where you'd gone.”

His eyes search yours like they’re a constellation of their own. 

“When you're right there…”

He laughs softly at himself, his thumb swiping away a stray eyelash off your cheek. 

“…how am I meant to focus on anything else?”

“But... your ex—”

“She isn't the person I want. I only want you.”

You lean your head carefully against his shoulder, breathing him in as you start to melt bit by bit. This feels too good to ever give up. 

“I only want you too.”

Then, slowly, he rests his cheek against your hair.

“You’re my boyfriend now?”

“I’m your boyfriend now.”

***

The two of you make it back to the chalet unharmed and as loved up as anyone could possibly be. 

Hearts in your eyes as you enter the room to see a few extremely distraught friends.

“Hey, guys—”

A fast object tackles you to the ground with a mixture of sobs and sloppy kisses to your cheek. “I thought you died! You made me worried sick, actually more than sick. You had me so worried, I was about to keel over and die.”

“She’s not kidding. She looked like death incarnate when she showed up here and refused to leave until you came back,” Connor adds, resulting in a glare from her.

You groan as you sit up. Bridget is still attached to you.

“I’m fine, we’re fine. We were holed up in the cabin for the night since the bike didn’t start and we’re hungry as hell, but we’re totally fine,” you tell her, in hopes she’ll let you go before she squeezes you to death. 

Bridget releases her tentacles from around you, and as soon as you dust yourself off, you find yourself practically floating back to Luke’s side. His arm immediately wrapped around you like it was instinct.

Everyone looks between the two of you, noticing just how pleasant everything is. Normally, by now someone would be yelling at someone. The first someone being you and the second someone being Luke.

“You guys are better than fine …Did you guys fuck last night—?”

A chorus of “Did you?” and “Chris!” echoes through the room as the two “suspects” in question sigh. 

“What we did or did not do last night is none of your business,” Luke responds.

That only seems to add fire to the flame as a million (completely inappropriate) questions fly your way at a million miles an hour. 

“Help me in the kitchen, sous chef?” 

“I think that’s the only way we can get out of this situation.”

You take Luke’s hand and run to the kitchen as if it’s your safe haven.

Home sweet home.

Luke rounds the kitchen island to lean on it, giving you a soft smile. 

“So what now?”

“I run a strict program here.”

“Yes, chef,” he replies, following it up with a not-so-subtle lip bite that ignites a fire in you that he’s been stoking since last night. 

You clear your throat and look down. “So you’ll help me make waffles, and pancakes, and—”

“Cinnamon rolls?”

You snap your fingers and nod at him. You’d kill for some cinnamon rolls right about now. Was he reading your mind somehow?

“I like the way you think, Castellan. But before that?”

You take his shirt in your hand and pull him close enough for your heart to pitter-patter yet again. 

“Before that?”

You peck his lips lightly enough to be a tease. “I think you know.”

Crossing over to his side of the kitchen island, you don’t even get two footsteps away from him before he’s kissing you senseless. Your lips move in perfect harmony as his hands glide over your body, exploring every inch he can get his hands on.  

If this is exactly what being whisked away feels like, you could definitely get used to it. 

As you part for air, you feel a sense of peace wash over you. Everything is right where it’s supposed to be, and for the first time in a while you’re not spiralling, and the future looks bright. 

“How’s that for a ski season romance, Bambi?”

“Absolutely perfect.”

Main Masterlist

Tom was stretched out across the main sofa, his boots propped up on the armrest, while Beth carefully painted Phia’s nails a vibrant shade of crimson on a nearby coffee table. Ewan sat in the corner, idly strumming an unamplified electric guitar, the faint metallic buzz of the strings providing a steady backdrop to the lazy afternoon. It was completely domestic, completely safe. Which made what you and Harry were about to do feel entirely terrifying.

You had been official for exactly three months. Ninety days of coordinated arrivals, separate cars, meticulously timed exits from each other’s apartments, and a strictly enforced rule about never, ever sitting too close during promotional panels. But the weight of the secret had begun to feel less like a protective shield and more like a wedge between you and the people who knew you best. Harry took a deep, steadying breath beside you, his knuckles turning slightly white around the paper coffee cup he was holding. He caught your eye, giving you a tiny, questioning nod. Now or literally never.

"Hey guys," Harry said, his voice ringing out just a bit too loud, a little too tight, completely shattering the lazy afternoon quiet. "Can we... eh...can we actually talk to you for a second? Put the phones down?"

Ewan’s fingers froze on the guitar strings. Tom slowly lowered his legs from the sofa armrest, his eyes darting sharp and immediate between the two of you. Beth stopped mid-stroke, her nail polish brush hovering precariously in the air. The cast had the predatory intuition of a pack of wolves, they could smell a shift in the room's gravity from a mile away and also your fear.

"Oh my god," Tom said, a massive, dangerous grin already threatening to break across his face as he sat up straight. "Look at Harry’s face. He looks like he’s about to be court-martialed. What did you do little Collett?"

"We..." you said pointing to harry and you "...didn't do anything," taking a step forward, your heart doing a violent, erratic thud against your ribs. You reached down, and for the first time on studio property, you slid your fingers into Harry’s hand, locking them tightly together in plain, undeniable view. "We just... we wanted to tell you guys something before it accidentally slips out on set."

The room went entirely, agonizingly silent for three long seconds.

Then, the explosion happened. Beth shrieked so loudly she dropped the nail polish bottle onto a paper script, jumping to her feet with her hands clamped over her mouth. Tom threw his head back, letting out a wild, triumphant shout that echoed off the soundproof walls. Even Phia, usually the most calm let out a breathless laugh, her eyes wide as she stared at your joined hands.

"I KNEW IT!" Tom roared, leaping off the couch and pointing a finger wildly at a thoroughly stunned Ewan. "Pay up! Ewan, pay up right now! I told you, I fucking told you the way they were looking at each other during the wrap party wasn't 'artistic camaraderie'"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Beth scrambled around the coffee table, practically vibrating with excitement as she cornered the two of you. "How long? Exactly how long has this been happening? I need dates, I need a timeline, I need everything!"

Harry’s ears turned a spectacular, unmistakable shade of deep crimson under the sudden, intense interrogation. He pulled you a little closer to his side, his media trained armor completely useless against his friends. "About... three months" he mumbled into his coffee cup.

"Three months!?" Tom echoed, pulling up a rolling chair, reversing it, and straddling the backrest so he could look up at you two like a detective in a dim interview room. "Alright. When? If it's been three months, that means you two went official during the summer hiatus? Who cracked first?"

"Harry did," you said instantly, unable to hide the massive, relieved smile breaking across your face.

"I did not" Harry protested, his voice cracking slightly as he turned his torso toward you. "It was entirely mutual. You can't just frame me as the desperate one in front of the jury?!"

"You literally texted me at two in the morning saying you couldn't sleep because you kept thinking about our scene in episode five," you pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

"It was a very emotionally complex scene" Harry yelled defensively, though the flush on his face had now traveled all the way down his neck, prompting a chorus of ruthless jeers from Tom and Ewan.

"Where?" Beth pressed, her eyes gleaming with pure, unfiltered gossip mongering. "Where was the actual turning point? Because you two spent the entire second season acting like you were terrified of being in the same room for more than ten minutes."

"That's because we were terrified," Harry confessed softly, his tone dropping into that quiet, sincere register that always managed to calm the room down. He squeezed your hand a little tighter, staring down at your intertwined fingers. "The internet was already so loud about us. We knew that if we let ourselves cross that line while we were actively filming, the noise would just... swallow it whole. We wanted to make sure it belonged to us first."

Beth let out a tiny, breathless sigh, but she wasn't about to let up on the details. She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands. "Okay, fine, very sweet, very noble. But we need the actual logistics. How did he actually ask you out? Because Harry can barely order a coffee without getting flustered and stuttering , so I need to know how he managed to confess his undying and legendary love without dying." She said in the most exaggerated voice.

Harry groaned, burying his face in his free hand. "Oh, come on, don't make me revive the whole thing."

"Oh, absolutely revive the whole thing," Tom insisted, leaning over the back of his chair, utterly enthralled. "Don't leave out a single embarrassing detail, please."

You laughed, nudging Harry’s shoulder with your own. "Well, it was about two weeks into the summer hiatus. We hadn't seen each other since the wrap party, but we'd been texting constantly. Harry called me around midnight on a Friday and asked if I was awake. He sounded completely out of breath, so I thought something was really wrong."

"I was running," Harry muttered defensively from behind his hand. "I had walked out of my flat because I was restless, and then I just... started pacing."

"He didn't just pace, he paced all the way to my neighborhood," you smiled, looking up at him as he finally dropped his hand, his cheeks still fiercely pink. "He showed up outside my building at twelve-thirty in the morning, holding a paper bag from that twenty-four hour bakery near his old place. When I went down to open the door, he was just standing there in a wrinkled hoodie, looking like he'd just survived a storm."

"Aw what did he say?" Phia asked, a rare, genuinely amused smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"He handed me a box of sour watermelon gummies and a slightly crushed iced matcha latte, at midnight I know..." you said, casting a pointed glance at Harry. "...and then he stood on the pavement and rambled for a solid four minutes without taking a breath. He talked about the shooting schedules, about the fans, he talked about how he tried to convince himself for an entire year that he just really valued our 'acting chemistry', and then he finally just blurted out that he was entirely miserable spending the hiatus away from me."

"I was very eloquent, actually," Harry interjected, trying to salvage his dignity, though his voice lacked any real conviction. "I had a whole speech prepared on the walk over. It just... mutated on the delivery."

"He looked me dead in the eye," you continued, ignoring his interruption with a grin, "and said, 'I don't care if the internet makes a hundred more analysis videos. I don't care if the publicists lock me in a room. I just really want to take you out to breakfast on a Tuesday morning like a normal person.' And then he asked if he could come up."

The green room erupted again, this time into a chorus of dramatic, high-pitched "awws" and theatrical swooning from Beth. Tom fake-wept into his sleeve, while Ewan shook his head, a grin splitting his face.

"A midnight pastry delivery and a tactical breakfast proposal wow," Tom clapped Harry hard on the shoulder, nearly causing him to spill his coffee. "Collett, you absolute romantic. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Well, it worked," Harry murmured, his defenses finally dropping as he looked down at you, his expression softening into that entirely unguarded, private look that usually caused the internet to melt down.

"And the publicists? Have you told management?" Tom asked, leaning back, completely satisfied with the interrogation.

"Are you insane?" Harry muttered, shuddering slightly. "If we tell the publicists, they’re going to turn our entire lives into a strategic marketing campaign. They’ll start measuring our seating distances with a ruler during press junkets. We’re keeping them completely in the dark for as long as humanly possible."

"Well, your secret is entirely safe with us," Beth promised, stepping forward to wrap both of you in a massive, aggressive hug that smelled faintly of nail polish and expensive perfume. "But for the record? I am going to have a profoundly difficult time keeping a straight face the next time an interviewer asks if there's any "off-screen romance" on this set."

"You just have to lie, Beth," Ewan said dryly, walking over to join the circle. "Like the professionals we are."

"Oh, please," Tom scoffed, his insufferable grin returning with full force as the assistant director finally knocked on the green room door to call them to the floor. "Look at them. You can't put these two in front of a camera anymore. Harry looks like a golden retriever that just traded its soul for a piece of ham. The fans are going to find out within a month, I am calling it now. One of them is going to slip up, a microphone is going to catch it, and the entire PR department is going to burn to the ground."

He’s tried sword fighting again and it’s like the basics would hardy come back to him. Gods even when he tried to prank someone it failed miserably. The only quote on quote “power” that even made him a demigod anymore was the ability to deliver. 

Mail, packages, favors. Luke always delivered. Mail or otherwise. 

It’s hard. Living back at camp where everyone holds some kind of resentment for him, Percy especially— Annabeth. Really Thaila was the only one who forgave him off the bat. And she’s a great aunt. 

Yes. Aunt. 

Maybe the only reason the gods spared Luke was because he had the first half-blood on half-blood child. His little daughter, Avery. 

Luke thinks about her often and tries to spend as much time with her as possible. It’s hard though when she’s located all the way in New Rome. When Percy found out about the place and you heard about all the family’s that lived there. How it’s so much safer? 

You practically swept Avery away from him. Deeming it better housing which— it probably was. But that didn’t mean he didn’t lover her, and Luke can’t be a threat with no powers. 

Gods, life is such a mess. That was practically Luke’s life moto now. He found himself saying it way too often. That or “im so fucked.”

Luke is no longer the councilor of the Hermes cabin anymore. And whoever is feels bashful telling Luke to get ready for bed and have lights out by 10 when there so much younger then him. 

So Luke sits outside. There’s a front porch with a rocking chair and he just listens. There was nothing better to do and life hasn’t been this quite in a while. He can still hear the ruckus from inside the cabin, the saccades singing and the harpies mingling in the forest moving. 

But other then that it’s quite. Nothing too pressing like having to wash dishes for the rest of his life or clean the swords. (Yes Chiron did give those jobs to him as punishment even after getting his powers taken away.) 

And just as Luke was about to throw his head back and heave out a sigh, getting ready to go inside and sleep on the floor of the cabin. A appearing image out of the corner of his eye blurs into reality.

It almost looks like water forming in mid air and Luke knows what it is. An iris message being sent to him. Luke sits up, it’s late but he really only knows one person who would want to talk to him this late.

“Daddy?” 

There she is. In perfect view Luke can see the beauty of Avery. She has black hair just like him and their faces share the same structure. Luke wonders what you think of when looking at her since she looks so much like him. 

Luke loves her eyes though. The eyes that are the exact color of yours. Luke could get lost in them over and over yet would find comfort in the open space of missing, being vanished. 

“Yeah baby. Hi, it’s me.” 

Luke smiles that half a smile. But it becomes brighter when she smiles, just like him and excited to see him. 

“What are you doing up? I know it’s bedtime.” 

“I needed to talk to you!!” 

“Oh yeah…? What about?” 

Luke ignores the fact that she definitely shouldn’t be talking to him, not this late and definitely not without your supervision. He should be the adult and cut his hand through the watery messages. But he just can’t bring himself to do it. 

Avery walks off out of view but comes back with a drawing. It’s nothing like those cute hand holding, Slenderman looking images you see in movies, where they point and say “that’s mommy and daddy and me! And we’re one big family!” It’s not that. 

She’s showing Luke a drawing of a submarine. Blueprints, Sure flimsy ones and poorly drawnbut Luke understands the sentiment. He thinks she must have gotten all these creative ideas from you. 

Theres a back door, something about an escape hatch. He’s impressed by her intelligence, even though he’s your daughter too, he shouldn’t be. 

When Avery is done showing him she beams and asks the million-dollar question. “Do you like it?” 

“Like it? Baby I love it.” 

Luke’s voice is sweet and coxes every word with love and pride. That’s his daughter damn it. 

“Where’d you learn how to send iris messages baby? You just that smart and figured that out too?” 

“Noooo.” She laughed, flustered under the praise of being deemed smart. “Momma taught me, case m’in danger.” 

Luke hums. It’s a good lesson to learn young he just can’t imagine why she would be in danger so young. Half of his mind is telling him it’s you trying to protect her from him. The other half is saying it’s just because she’s special. A mix between two half-bloods. He tries not to linger on the thought too long. 

“Daddy, When am I gonna go to camp half blood again?”

Luke clicks his tongue, trying not to seem as hurt as he really is by her comment. “Not until Friday sweetheart.” 

“N’how many more days is that.” 

“Four.” 

“Four! That’s like…. Forever.” 

“Yeah.” Luke’s throat tightens up. It does seem like an eternity away from a loved one. “Yeah it does.” 

And before Luke can say okay you should get in bed bub he hears the door open to whatever fancy apartment building you have in new Rome. Avery keeps telling him about her green walls and swinging hammock for all her stuffies. It’s nothing like what he can offer her here. 

“Avery! What are you doing out of bed again!” 

Your voice is teasing. Mixed with faux surprise. You’re happy, so that means Luke knows you haven’t seen him yet. And he should let the iris message disappear now. But he can’t because despite everything he wants to catch a glimpse at your face. Luke misses you too. 

“I just had to show daddy the picture!!!” 

Avery jumps ups and down, panicked to be caught up and out of bed and scared to be getting in trouble. Luke watches painstakingly as you realize it’s him. 

“You’re talking to daddy?” 

“Yeah!” 

Luke watches you sit down on Avery’s bed, gently grab her hand and wrangler her into your lap. All while staring at the message. 

“Thought I only taught you to do messages in emergency’s.” 

“This was an emer—ency!” 

You laugh and swing her back and forth. Luke wishes he could be there, with you. He never thought himself as a white picket fence kinda guy but right now he wishes nothing more to be put on bedtime duty. Just with his two girls. 

“Well maybe daddy can help you get to sleep.” 

You’re not talking to him directly, but there’s something in his chest that spikes. You’re acknowledging him at least, which usually only happens at drop offs. 

“Daddy! Say I can stay up longer.” 

Luke lets out a little breath, shaking his head. “No sorry kiddo. Not this time.” 

“Ugh.” 

Avery throws her head back and it only goes to show how short her hair is and the length of dramatics she’s going through. 

“Come on. Get in bed.” 

You coo and Luke nods. 

“Yeah, maybe I’ll send a fancy dream you way.” 

Avery gasps. The “fancy” dream in question is just a regular dream. But as a half blood— or demigod or whatever Avery is. Dreams aren’t just dreams and nightmares aren’t just nightmares. 

So putting a special name on something makes it a little less scary or a five-year-old. Plus it is fancy, whenever Luke dreams about Avery or hell— you. It feels great, spectacular and glamorous. Very fancy Indeed. 

Avery crawls into bed easily after that. Getting under the covers with much enthusiasm as her head hits the pillow it bounces a few times with too much force. 

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Luke hears you mumble and watches as you spare one glance at him over your shoulder. “Anything you wanna say to daddy before nighttime?” 

“Night night!! See you in forever!” 

It’s hard for Luke to breathe. “Yeah, in forever.” 

Finally Luke gets one really good shot of you in frame. Probably with condescending eyes but Luke likes to believe they’re sad from him. Or a delusion that you miss him too in your much too big a bed in new Rome. 

“Good night Luke.” 

“Night.” 

He watches as your hand goes through the iris messages and it falls short, water droplets dripping into the porch underneath him and the image disappears. 

Luke throws his head back. He’s so fucked.