poetic justice.

Today was not my day. My foot got crushed by a wrench and I misjudged a doorframe. So I figured hey, I deserve some ice cream. Now, just when my day couldn’t get any worse, I spilled my ice cream all over my car floor. I just wanted ice cream. Now I’m ice creamless and sticky and have the Sunday blues. I think a black cat bewitched me something since Halloween’s coming up.

Those are the kinds of days where I say “fuck it, I’m staying home today”.

I’ve been saving up for a few months now so I can take Drew to Disney for his next birthday, which has meant cutting out unnecessary spending, and let me tell you, I feel like a real ass adult. And it fucking sucks, my guys. This goddamn mouse better be worth it, because I miss my iced coffee and Cinnabons. 

Can’t you make iced coffee at home?

Thinking about Harry Potter again…as always, and not to get too deep about a fictional book series ( that runs my entire life ), but Sirius Black said some things in those books, that is some shit you could literally live your life by, and that just makes me…wow..like, damn, you know? That’s all I had to say tonight, but what’s your favorite book series? And if you’re familiar, what’s your favorite Sirius quote? Mine is, “What’s life without a little risk?”

Honestly... I’ve only seen like three of those movies.

I am disgusted with the lack of common courtesy I’ve been shown. I really had to deal with a guy coming up to me in public while I minded my own business for once in my life in the grocery store and accuse me of making fun of his dick pics on my public snapchat story. And, yeah, I did, but that doesn’t mean you can accuse me of it in the produce isle! Keep it in the DM’s so I can ignore and pretend I don’t know you in private. The clownery.

In other news, I now have a private story solely that you’re only apart of if you don’t have Grindr. 

It’s 2019, my man. People stand up for themselves and won’t take people (like you) being dickheads. Making fun of someone for how they look? C’mon.

This past month we’ve been learning the letters of the alphabet and we’re finishing up on the letter D and I’ve been eaten by dinosaurs at least ten times last week. Can I just say that getting eaten and scared by dinosaurs has been interesting? They’re learning and having fun so I’m all for it.

We’re getting ready for the letter E and I want to do something special for the kids. What do you think would be some good activities I can do for things that start with the letter E?

Yeah, I really shouldn’t give advice about children. Can’t help you out there.

Halloween treats are officially launched at Rose’s and I’ve never been more excited. It may still be hot outside, but it’s fall in my heart. I just had to share some news! We have a lot of fall events coming up on our calendar. A Halloween themed Karaoke night, Halloween cupcake decoration classes for the kids once a week, cake decoration for adults (BYOB), and of course our usual Open Mic night every Friday.

Oh also, If you come in on Halloween with a costume, you can get any item from the shop half off, but if you’ve lived here long enough, you know that already!

I don’t know about the open mic or anything, but I’m definitely down for some Halloween treats. I’ll probably stop by and get some soon.

Does it make me totally lame if I start up a conversation about how is it already October? Like, regular football season will be over in a few weeks, not sure the guys are up for much in the finals. Halloween, Thanksgiving, then Christmas and then hey it’s 2020! 

What I’m saying is, there’s no time like today to start your shopping and at the top of my list is a year long subscription to Disney+ so I can finally stream the entire Marvel universe in order - by release date and by Marvel timeline. Anyone wanna help a brother out?

You’re asking people to pay for your Disney+ subscription? Why would anyone want to do that?

if someone asks me when i’ll marry one more time, i will spill black paint on some unfortunate soul. why do only women get this kind of question? it’s bloody tiring! tell me you agree, mate. 

Why’s it black paint that you’re going to spill on someone? I wouldn’t know, ‘cause no one’s ever really asked me this question. I guess everyone’s like “yeah, no one would ever marry her”. Not like I’d want to marry anyone, anyway.

At the risk of having another ‘it’s October and now we’re legally required to only post about Halloween’ posts, I’ve already started with my Halloween planning. I’ve been to the fabric shop to pick up the fabric for our family costumes and I’m realizing, my sewing/design skills are…well they aren’t getting me to New York Fashion Week anytime soon. So here’s hoping we don’t end up looking the world’s sloppiest super hero family. Also, if anyone has insights on where to order pet costumes, specifically for overweight, old, grumpy cats, I’d love to hear about that. Drew insists that all members of his family dress up in matching costumes this year, and something tells me I won’t even be able to attempt the cat’s costume.

I honestly forgot that it was even October... That’s my bad. So your whole family is going to dress up as fat cats?

Probably somewhere like DC, or something. Cali? NYC? Texas? Anywhere that’s not here, that’s for damn sure.

Is it weird if I say silence?