* AVENGERS

CARRD.    AES SB.    MEMES.    EDITS.    USFW SB.

    he   flexes   his   fingers   to   watch   the   blood   flow.      studies   the   white   that   reignites   pink   within   seconds.      wonders   what   might   be   discovered   if   you   spilled   him   out   under   a   microscope.         HE'S   SURE   THEY'VE   TESTED   IT,   BUT   HE'S   NEVER   ASKED.   NEVER   WANTED   TO.      only   needs   to   know   that   he   exists.      that   he   lives.      (   𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝   𝚒𝚏   𝚒   𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗   𝚒   𝚌𝚊𝚗   𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.   )            i   can   do   this   all   day !!!     whatever   thoughts   that   follow,      he   shakes   them   off   to   look   over   at   the   other.      "   tony   keeps   telling   me   i   need   a   vacation.      i'm   not   even   sure   i   know   where   i’d want   to   go.   "

    he   winces   as   he   shoulders   the   shield   down   to   the   floor   —         sets   it   upright   against   a   solid   surface.      TRIES NOT TO FIXATE ON THE SPLATTER OF RED ACROSS VIBRANIUM.     they've   all   seen   their   fair   share   of   violence   (   sebastian,   him,   the   shield.      wonders   if   he   and   the   shield   are   the   same.      knows   that   they   aren't.      not   really   )         but   it   doesn't   ever   get   easier.      it   just   adds   to   the   pile.      floods   the   base   of   his   skull.      thickens   in   the   back   of   his   throat.         he   peels   off   his   cowl   next   —      then   the   harness   that   holds   the   shield   in   place.      the   gloves.      the   more   skin   that   shows,      𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎   𝚒𝚗𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗   𝚑𝚎   𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜.      faint   bruises   and   little   else      /      nothing   that   would   suggest   the   fight   he'd   just   partook   in.      the   dozens   of   kicks   and   precision   hits.      he   looks   over   at   the   other,      hand   running   loosely   through his own   tussled   hair.   " would   you   mind   if   i   use   your   shower?   "

with   glancing   eyes   he   clocks   the   scarred   scene   around   them   —          the   shield   just   out   of   arms   length.      its   body   unmarred   by   the   clash.      𝚟𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚞𝚖   𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚢   𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐   𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚜𝚞𝚗.         shifting,      he   rolls   just   enough   to   one   side   to   get   an   arm   up   and   under   himself   so   he   can   gather   enough   momentum   to   push   himself   upright.         the   sudden   rise   felt   in   the   base   of   his   skull:      fuzzy   and   disoriented.      blurred   at   the   edges.         he   stoops   to   pick   up   the   shield   in   spite   of   it,      anyway.         slings   it   over   his   back   ;         the   only   home   it   knows.      that   he   knows.      gaze   rising   to   meet   hers.      "   come   on,      this   isn't   over   yet.   "

      he   sits   down   next   to   her      —      characteristically   graceful   in   spite   of   his   size.         𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍   𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝   𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕   𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎   𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘   𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐   𝚑𝚎   𝚑𝚊𝚍   𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎   𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜   𝚘𝚏   𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏.      that   he   didn't   still   look   in   the   mirror   and   see   pallor   skin,      and   fragile   cheeks,      and   lungs   that   wheezed   in   the   winter.         "   are   you   enjoying   the   tower?      i   know   that it can be a little   bit…   "      he   considers   tony   and   his   egocentrism   and   his   eccentrics.      "   much.   "

𝙸𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸𝙽 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝚆𝙰𝚈,  𝚆𝙴’𝙻𝙻 𝙵𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙾𝙾.

𝚄𝙽𝙻𝙸𝙼𝙸𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙲𝚂

ADRENALINE  SETTLES  ALONGSIDE  ANGUISH.  AN  INQUIRY  INTO  THE  HUMAN  SOUL.  HIS  CHEST  CAVITY  BURGEONING  WITH  BLOOD,  AND  BILE,  AND  BITTERNESS.  TRAUMA  AFFIXED  TO  HIS  RIBS.  VERTEBRAE  BECOME  A  LADDER  ;  THEIR  RUNGS  A  HOST  TO  ALL  THE  LAMENTATION  FESTERING  BETWEEN  THE  PLATES.      how  do  two  desperate  people  find  each  other ?    intensely.  unwaveringly.    celestial  bodies  colliding  mid  flight.    wildfire  at  the  edge  of  gravity.    like  this:  together  but  disjointed  —      still  trying  to  make  sense  of  it.    of  whatever  this  is  and  of  themselves.  haven't  yet  figured  out  how  to  map  the  course  of  their  reality  as  well  as  they  have  each  other's  mouths.    BUT  HE'S  TRYING,  AND  HE  HOPES  THAT  THAT'S  ENOUGH.  THAT  IT  WILL  SOMEHOW  MAKE  UP  FOR  ALL  THE  MEMORY  AND  CHAOS  THAT  BREEDS  BENEATH  HIS  SKIN.  HIS  IRREPARABLE  HEART.    (  ᴛʜᴀᴛ  ʏᴏᴜ  ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ  ᴄᴀʀᴇ  ғᴏʀ  ᴍᴇ  ᴇᴠᴇɴ  ᴀs  ɪ  ʜᴀɴɢ  ᴏɴ  ʙʏ  sᴛʀɪɴɢs.      ɢᴜᴛ  ᴀs  ʟɪɢʜᴛ  ᴀs  ᴛᴡɪɴᴇ  ᴀɴᴅ  ᴊᴜsᴛ  ᴀs  ғᴇᴇʙʟᴇ.  ғʀᴀʏᴇᴅ﹐  ᴀɴᴅ  ғʀᴀɢɪʟᴇ﹐  ᴀɴᴅ  ᴏʀɢᴀɴs  ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ  ᴛᴏ  sᴘɪʟʟ  ғʀᴏᴍ  ʜɪs  sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ  )      he  settles  deeper  into  the  couch,  thinking.    ruminating.     death  in  his  mouth.    graveyard  dirt  stymieing  his  marrow.    skeleton  sinking  into  the  mud.    I  THINK  SOMEONE  ELSE  CAME  OUT.      wonders  if  he  was  really  afraid,  then:    when  he  had  a  joystick  under  his  hands  and  the  nose  of  a  plane  pointed  towards  the  water,  and  the  cold,  and  the  bleak  emptiness  that  should  have  stayed  in  his  soul.      wonders  if  he  had  any  fear  left  to  give.    (    ʏᴇs  —  ʟᴏsɪɴɢ  ʏᴏᴜ  )        "  all  the  time,  "       there's  a  smile  that  tries  to  soften  the  blow  of  his  words.    𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗  𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊  𝚠𝚊𝚜  𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛  𝚊𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚍 !    but  s.teve  r.ogers ?    blacktop  grit  under  his  nails  and  scrapes  on  his  knees ?    he'd  known  fear  from  an  early  age  ;    but  once  you  start  running,  they'll  never  let  you  stop.        "   i  think  that's  why  we  fight  …  the  fear  of  what  could  happen  if  we  don't.  "