“It’s the Murdock-hero-complex. It’s inescapable. Just wait until I’m letting clients pay me in chickens.”

“I’m willing to go to places some heroes wouldn’t. For me it’s this CLOWN with an awful fucking laugh. He calls himself the Joker — sort of beat me with a crowbar and left me to explode. I died and came back crawling out of the dirt zombie style. I have some issues, but who is it for you?” Jason asks as he tilts his head curiously.

“I’ll be honest in the fact I don’t know what a purge is.”

“you don’t sound like you do,” he shot back, the words of a man who was a little more offended than he had any right to be - though he was managing to not take it personally. at the end of the day, no matter how big she got, no matter how self assured ; ava was always gonna be his little girl. the innocent wonder that had sparkled in her big brown eyes when she was little, watching him from the edge of the table…- he liked to think that if he looked up, it’d still be there. and he’d tell himself it was. “lemme see-” he held out a hand, an offer for her to place hers within his grasp, “i’ll decide that. this is a real delicate process, aves.” 

          A raise of the eyebrows. ❝ Oh - oh. Oh you think this is a CHOICE. ❞ He replied almost matter-of-factly , standing up and sighing. And he looked from his painting , back to her , shaking his head. ❝ No - see , guess I inherited it from my DAD , but that sorta shit - I can’t just do it whenever I want. I see it … no , I see them - I see them every day. Right now , when I go to sleep , when I wake up … SPIRITS , they’re always there. ❞ He only assumed the power was linked to the Constantine bloodline since he’d overheard his father voice grievances about the ghosts that followed him. Salem was lucky - not many of his bared any ill will towards him. It only got him picked on in school , when he was a polite little boy who said hello & goodbye to every person he met - including the people that only HIS EYES could see in a sea of faces. ❝ So - don’t really mess with this shit as a choice. No , it’s … it’s all blood. ❞

“That is a very good point but considering I am the prima, I’m still very worried about my chances.” Althea chuckled. “I’d probably hide behind you.”

“You know, originally I didn’t think I would, but I think you have a valid point about us being cockroaches so I’d probably manage to make it through a night.” After all, he already had a few close calls and was still standing after them. “Maybe.” Kurt usually tried to avoid causing too much trouble. “Then again, it might actually be therapeutic to just say fuck it for night, do whatever the hell you want, and fuck some shit up without overthinking everything.”

seeing her focused and at ease like this — it’s a far cry from where she was a  year ago, where her pain was worn on her sleeve, visible to the world. he’s happy, almost ecstatic to see her be on a path where she can finally heal. he’s smiling, something proud in his eyes as he watches her movements. he’s in no real rush to leave yet, even as she turns the attention back onto him. “yeah. yeah, kids are great. bucky’s great. i think sarge misses you, though. least, he misses lugnut.” his smile is warm. “when’re you coming over next? door’s always open for you but i need to know when to tell buck to get his ass off the couch and help me clean up a little.”

“ there’s other mountains. “ she knows the mountains aren’t really mountains, but they’re easier to name. they find words for that which surrounds the feeling instead of the meaning itself, and work their way to it. what’s important is what the mountains represent. but they can get back to that later. “ what can’t you stop thinking about ? “

“Steal a few thousand bottles of wine?” Theora joked. “Probably lose some billing information for some patients and work a double at the ER—I can only imagine what some dumbasses would do when the law doesn’t apply.”

“Probably burn all the student loan records I could get my hands on.”

he had never really been the most intelligent of thoughtful of guys - but at one point in time, he’d have at least had something to say. he’d have had an INKLING as to what words to use, what one’s to string together and what phrases to utter. he’d have something suave to say in answer instead of just a sad little smile and soft shake of his head ; piss poor offering coming in the form of, “you’re the prettiest one i’ve ever seen.”

she was. everything about ava was pretty, and not just because looks. everything she did and was appealed to adrian, in every way that they could. she was a gorgeous, pulled apart mess, and maybe that had attracted him to her, in a way ; and maybe it wasn’t what needed to be HEARD, though for the time being, it was all he could give. whoever he had been before was gone, and she knew that better than most - but at time’s like these, he really felt the weight of that. ava had words. she could put what she was feeling into them, or at least try. he had silence. and it didn’t help, in moments such as this.

“i didn’t-…” he cut himself off before he could even really start with a frustrated sigh, shifting his weight once more so that he could REALLY look at her. he didn’t like the way she laughed. didn’t need to be able to read into things any better than he was capable, now, to know what she was referencing ( the memory was foggy, but it stuck out in mind regardless ), and know that it had hurt. it hurt him, now, to think. “i didn’t know what i was saying, when i said that.” he figured she knew. he also figured he still had to say it, out loud. “i was back… then. with amiri. i didn’t remember, ava, and- if i’d had an inkling…” a shake of his head was the only end to such a line of conversation he could give. words - his especially - just couldn’t do it JUSTICE. nothing could really describe what it had been like, to be back where he’d been, to think that he was with a woman that was ash, now, and nothing more. he hadn’t tried to hurt ava, yet still, he had. he never would have wanted to, yet it happened. nothing could fix that.

he just figured he knew where it was going. he could grovel and make his apologies, he could try explain the thought process, he could do… anything, really, but he didn’t think he could fix this.

he didn’t realize that they weren’t, really, in the same mindset. not until she started again, and as she did, he became… all the more aware of the places in which their bodies touched. like an electric current ran between them. and he didn’t, really, believe what he was hearing - scarecely wanted to hope for the best, lest he be disappointed - but he was all too happy to run with it. at least for now.

“i thought i was here for you to…” to break up with him? the thought of whether they COULD even break up still ran around his mind, even though everything about this was contrary to it. adrian’s hand dropped - gripping hers within his grasp, so tight she couldn’t mistake it for an attempt to move her, he forgot what he was going to say and simply went with what he knew he should. what he FELT. as strange as it was, as much as he wished he didn’t, for her sake - because she deserved more, because she deserved better - adrian didn’t want to stop himself. “whatever it is, here, ava…- i don’t know much. i just know it’s good. we’re good. and i want it to continue. hell, i, uh…- i think i’d like more. if you’d have me.”

it takes a moment for her mind to wrap around where he was at as opposed to where she was at. at first, she tilts her head in confusion, “here to...?” she asks before a moment later, understanding dawns across her face, “oh,” she shakes her head, “oh, god, no--” but she quiets as he talks, glancing down as he grips her hand. her face softens as she looks at him. as he speaks, as she hears what he says about them, her face melts into a smile. her hands grips his with just as much urgency, moving herself closer to him. she knows that in this moment, she wants to be close to him.

“yeah, I’ll have you,” she wished she could think of something smarter, anything more clever, but her focus was elsewhere, in the rush she felt to her core. she places one of her hand on his cheek, gently moving to kiss him for just a moment, the full feeling in her chest pouring out as she pulls away slightly, the breathy laugh she lets out holds an air of surprise-- because truly, part of her is surprised.

in her mind, ava has never been one to settle. this is true on a few levels, whether it’s her goals or with romance. her whole adult life has been filled with different uncertainties, different instabilities. war was a never-ending supply of emotional whiplash, and it so rarely left the soldiers even after they left the war. ava assumed long ago she would never find true stability... and even still, perhaps they wouldn’t. 

doubt always plagued her, so she reasoned, perhaps stability is not what they are meant for, but there’s something so deeply reassuring about this moment. knowing there would at least be someone beside her, and that it wasn’t like anything before. there was someone that wanted her for more than a night or two, for longer than something easy. someone she hadn’t failed. right here, under her touch, there was someone.... good, as he put it. ava liked that. she didn’t ask for much. she could thrive with good.

“and, hey, i’m not mad,” she settles closer to him now, moving herself to rest on his side, tucking herself under his arm with her own moving across his chest. she kept eye contact, now speaking from a place all too real, “me, my family, we’ve been caught in the crosshairs of some crazy shit. you can’t control when other people are determined to fuck you up,” and how many times had avengers problems, SHIELD problems, drifted to ava? how many villains had successfully disrupted ava’s life? all of the children of the great heroes? “we just gotta get through it. and we did, we are...” though the more vivid nightmares she’d been dealing with since debated on how well. still, together, ava felt a deep sense of calm. it was not if they would get through it, it was when, and that was... good.

“If you want to call it that, but I’m a little too intense for what some heroes are comfortable with. Scaring people is always fun, I can think of a few people I wouldn’t mind messing with.” Jason answers with a laugh — although he would love to get kill ONE particular, but he has been wanting to do that one for over twenty years. 

❝ i think that’s a terribly personal question. you first. ❞ 

❝ oh, ava, mi vida, ❞ bobbi pauses and lets out a breath of air she wasn’t aware she was holding. therapy. it’s a heavy word for bobbi. she was too analytical to last long in therapy. she can’t let things go and doesn’t like other people poking around in her head. she wishes it wasn’t so, though. ❝ that’s fantastic. i’m so proud of you. ❞