tea & despair

I mean, I’m also short, so I just always assumed that was my problem with being comfortable in chairs.

we tend to keep our faces really still? like allistics have little shifts constantly, they move their faces so. fucking. much. and it’s totally involuntary? they also hold their jaws differently I think??

autistic folks tend not to know what to do with our arms unless we’re stimming whereas allistics seem to just… naturally have their arms at their sides. but differently. there’s a certain intentionality to how autistic people place our limbs. we have to sorta put them somewhere, where as allistics have like… a resting position that they don’t have to think about.

we tend to look around and intentionally mimic others more than allistics. allistics mimic but they do so unconsciously. because we have to think about it, we don’t do it according to the same rules which means we often get in trouble for not mimicking correctly.

stimming is by far the easiest tell, as is the stiffness of when someone is trying very hard not to stim. you can see it, and sometimes I’ll see it and start visibly stimming to see if the other person will relax and start as well. or if someone else is visibly stimming, I will as well to see if they notice.

Song of the year?

Album of the year?

Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Movie of the year?

TV show of the year?

Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

Favorite actor of the year?

Game of the year?

Best month for you this year?

Something that made you cry this year?

Something you want to do again next year?

Talk about a new friend you made this year

How was your birthday this year?

Favorite book you read this year?

What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?

Post a picture from the beginning of the year

Post a picture from the end of the year

A memorable meal this year?

What’re you excited about for next year?

What’s something you learned this year?

What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

Favorite place you visited this year?

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?

a thing doesn’t have to cause traditional flashbacks to be a trigger. a trigger can be a thing that causes:

- panic attacks - emotional flashbacks* - anxiety episodes - paranoia/delusions - hallucinations - seizures - rage episodes - manic episodes - depression spikes - suicidal thoughts - dissociative episodes - sensory overload - obsessions and compulsions (as in OCD)

and probably more things than that, i don’t know all the possible things. I’m not trained in clinical psychology, but neither are all the assholes who say “It’s not a real trigger unless it gives you flashbacks”

* an emotional flashback is a type of flashback where you feel the emotions associated with the trauma happening to you while still on some level knowing that the trauma isn’t currently happening to you. this is a more common type of flashback than the traditional kind.

However.

That is not my issue with people saying they are triggered. My issue is when idiots use it like a catch all phrase, like a meme to say ‘this is annoying’ 'this is gross’ 'this is too cute’ 'this trigged me to laugh’ 'i dont like this.’

When people use triggered as a meme, they completely disregard and destroy the genuine, clinical and psychological significance an actual trigger has. They are completely invalidating everyone who actually has triggers. Triggers are not things to joke about. It is not funny. It is not okay. You can’t say you are triggered just because you dont like something. There needs to be an actual impact unpon your mental well being. If it’s not impacting your mental health, then shut up or find another meme to use.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a type of PTSD that is caused by severe, repeated trauma, such that involves captivity, manipulation, and entrapment. It is trauma that is long-term and involves an inability for escape. This trauma occurs long enough to deform one’s sense of identity and self.

There is no mandated list of criteria for C-PTSD in the DSM-5, but there are six clusters of symptoms that are currently used for diagnosis. These major, core symptoms of C-PTSD are:

Emotional Dysregulation - This involves severe mood swings/dysphoria, impulsive behaviour, self-harm, and suicidal preoccupations. This could result in explosive anger, or extremely inhibited anger, or both. It could also result in either compulsive or extremely inhibited sexuality (i.e. hypersexuality or sex repulsion/trauma-induced asexuality, or both.) This also involves difficulty expressing and communicating emotions.

Consciousness Instability - Forgetting traumatic events or reliving them is a part of a struggle with consciousness. Sometimes reliving trauma can be either through intrusive thought, or preoccupation with the trauma. This also involves dissociation, which can cause severe consciousness interruption and memory gaps.

Self-Perception Issues - The trauma that causes C-PTSD messes with the ego, so its symptoms results in a skewed perception of self. One might feel helpless, full of shame and guilt, like a constant victim or a horrible person, feel defiled and disgusting, and/or believe they are completely separate from other human beings altogether.

Distorted Views of the Perpetrator - Becoming preoccupied with a perpetrator, whether it’s allotting total power to them, developing a preoccupation with them (such as revenge or seeking to find others exactly like them), or clinging onto the idea of being special to the perpetrator, would all be examples of distorted views.

Struggle With Interpersonal Relationships - Avoidance, distrust, paranoia, a sense of inability to connect with others. One with C-PTSD might also be constantly searching for a ‘saviour’ figure, and could also go to great lengths for self-protection.

Loss or Change in System of Meanings - The beliefs one held before trauma changing or going away completely, such as religious faith, or one being succumbed with despair or feeling like there is no hope.

Outside of the six clusters of general symptoms, the other symptoms often associated with C-PTSD are:

Revictimization - Those with C-PTSD are particularly vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. Many will be revictimized if they are not taught how to read red flags, as those with C-PTSD may seek to relieve trauma without realizing it because they don’t know anything else.

Hypervigilance - Increased anxiety and sensory input will make the survivor hyperaware of everything in their environment. This may result in paranoia, in extreme jumpiness, etc. Someone with C-PTSD will be constantly feeling like they are in a dangerous situation, and thus be hypervigilant due to that. (This may cause someone to be constantly in fight mode, or flight mode, or freeze mode, etc.)

Unexplained Physical Symptoms - Hypervigilance exhausts the body. This is what most professionals believe leads to chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, headaches, nausea, chest pain, and various other physical symptoms that range from mild to severe. This pain cannot be explained by other existing medical conditions.

Dissociation - Degrees of dissociation range. It is common for those with C-PTSD to deal with chronic dissociation, which can lead to emotional numbness, feeling unable to focus, inability to connect to one’s identity or reality (depersonalization and derealization), and memory loss. To a severe degree, it may result in identity splitting, which would lead to comorbidity with Dissociate Identity Disorder.

Substance Abuse - It’s not uncommon for those with C-PTSD to struggle with substance abuse, whether it’s alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc. Some may also use sexual contact in the same way.

Attachment Issues - C-PTSD can cause various problems with attachment, including hyperempathy or a lack of empathy, an inability to accurately perceive other people’s motives, isolation, seeking out codependency, feeling unable to depend on others at all, and not knowing where personal boundaries lie for themselves or others.

we already fucking do: people with chronic illness will struggle to get adequate medical attention when we need it, we will be told to suffer pain constantly because it’s “not healthy to be on medication all the time”, when a diagnosis can’t be found we get shuffled to the next doctor, we get told we are too young or too pretty or too smiley or too active to be sick, the only difference is we will get turned away from ERs immediately after we’re stabilized, fuck it happened to me today. The people in our lives will get impatient with us, strangers will treat us rudely for having to use disabled parking spaces or transit seats while “not looking sick”

Adults who need high levels of support in daily living are not children. 

“Mental age” is a concept rooted in eugenics, and it doesn’t actually exist.

No one should be robbed of agency or dignity because of their need for support. Oh, also, while we’re at it (since disability rights activism that doesn’t tackle age-related oppression is bullshit), kids deserve to be treated with respect too. Shouldn’t be a controversial statement, but it is.

Someone: “Have you tried exercising?”