I have filled 9 of these boxes FULL of political science, law, history books that my dad obtained over the course of teaching at a college for FORTY YEARS. He died years ago but my mom and I never cleared his stuff out and now that she died I have to clear both of their stuff out.

I found a book he got in 1957 when he was a teenager which is insane.

As a note I have done this since 2am and it is now 4am. Adhd is wild

Said cousin decided to text me, my mom(who died literally less than 24 hours before), my aunt all basically trying to contact me to “make shre im ok” (translation is find a way likely to manipulate me into allowing her to move in as she has tried to do that with my mom.) she has bad gangstalking delusions as well as sometimes a belief that my mother stole her eggs to create me. That last bit is why I am absolutely no contact with her.

The big kicker of that though. I have been staying with my sister at her hotel because being at home sucks right now and I just had a bad vibe. Well we went to my home to get my moms oxygen stuff so the medical equipment company stops harassing my DEAD MOMS PHONE. And guess who was at the fucking door with her 7 year old child.

I, comically, opened the door looked at her said FUCK NO FUCK NO slammed the door in her face and locked it. My sister and I literally had to call my aunt to save us because we couldnt tell if she left after hollering at us and having her kid yell for us for about 20 minutes.

We legit had to warn the funeral home director that thwre could be an issue ans now I am convined that she absolutely is going to make a scene.

I miss her so much and it hasnt even been a day. I just want to see her again but I promised her i wouldn’t see her for a long time because I have to get my dream career and keep on living even without her. She has been my rock and the best mom ever ans I just fucking hate cancer especially cancer that was literally only found a couple weeks ago and we literally haven’t gotten the genomic results back because it was a weird cancer that they couldnt identify.

I got a call earlier asking for corneal donations from her which for me was such an easy yes because i know she’d love to be able to help someone after death. It made me happy the idea of her beint able to continue on within someone even if I never meet them.

She stayed awake and aware until friday when my sister and the attorney came to finish the trust si everything would go to me (my sister is grown and has kids older than ne so she doesn’t need it and lives in maine)