Fancy Pants.

my life is changing in a BIG way this coming wednesday.

my 24th birthday is in one week and I've barely thought about it. Not because I'm one of those people who hate birthdays - on the contrary, I rather enjoy any reason to get people together and gifts on top of it, what's not to like? - but because there's too much to think about. My boyfriend and I (yes, things certainly have changed since my last venture here; we're just shy of a year and three months together) received some terrible news this week that has just kept my stomach in knots and a frown on my face every time I think about it. I'm not one for being mysterious, but in this case, it's necessary. In all cases, it's driving me mad. Every time I sit down to think, I'm crafting these hypotheticals that seem too real and I'm just spinning these webs hoping for another outcome that doesn't lead me right back where I started - feeling hopeless. As angry and downright confused as I am, I can't help but feel more distressed for him. By far, he is experiencing much worse. It's my birthday in a week and I'm looking past that. I'm searching in three weeks, hoping to see a glimmer. A month, what lies there? Two months down the line, am I smiling or crying? What will these next several months be like? I'm not a religious man, but I am spiritual and I'm looking everywhere for a sign. But, that takes the mystique out of life, doesn't it? If we knew what was just around the corner, would it make the surprise less special or the struggle less powerful? If we're able to come out on the other end unscathed, are we stronger for doing so? Or, is this just something we tell ourselves? A way to rationalize the plain and simple truth that in most cases, we could handle knowing what was coming just fine. I can think of at least a couple instances where I'd appreciate knowing what would happen - small instances, of course. Nothing of universal grandeur that could alter the historical timeline of all humanity. Even a vague sense of the future could be beneficial. A yes or no to the question "Will this all be okay?" would suffice and I could go about my day, smiling, pleased as pie. Instead, I'm questioning, sulking, and speeding past my birthday to discover what news the future is writing.

Best Kept Secret - Documentary 2013. Details two years in the life of special needs teacher, Janet Mino, as she struggles to find long-term, challenging programs and job placement for her students with autism after they graduate from high school. Please watch this. This woman and what she does for these children is absolutely amazing. Not to mention, if you're unfamiliar with autism and how it affects a person's life, this would be a good eye-opener.