Criminally Underfunded Mad Science

Calm down. Do your breathing exercises. Maybe I'm getting carried away. There must be a lot of folks who have elaborate, traditional tea ceremonies without worshipping the King of England and the ground he walks upon. Japanese Imperialists, for instance. Yeah. They probably don't like the Mini Coop– they do? This goes deeper than I thought.

Okay, don't let foreign authoritarians spoil this, like they did your ninth birthday party. Breathe in, right, down, left. Lots of people love and enjoy tea every day. There's no reason to believe that all of these kids are learning their ABCs just so they can grow up to buy a Range Rover that never runs right. There's only so many Range Rovers out there. Some of these kids are going to have to settle for Plymouths. What do you mean, Plymouth doesn't exist anymore? What does this have to do with the tea?

Calm down. Do your breathing exercises. Maybe I'm getting carried away. There must be a lot of folks who have elaborate, traditional tea ceremonies without worshipping the King of England and the ground he walks upon. Japanese Imperialists, for instance. Yeah. They probably don't like the Mini Coop– they do? This goes deeper than I thought.

Okay, don't let foreign authoritarians spoil this, like they did your ninth birthday party. Breathe in, right, down, left. Lots of people love and enjoy tea every day. There's no reason to believe that all of these kids are learning their ABCs just so they can grow up to buy a Range Rover that never runs right. There's only so many Range Rovers out there. Some of these kids are going to have to settle for Plymouths. What do you mean, Plymouth doesn't exist anymore? What does this have to do with the tea?

THIS was posted by the current President....

Presumably it was supposed to project an image of utter masculinity.... which would surely test even the most soulless of generative AI programs, but this... THIS?

This may simultaneously be amongst the most horrifying AND most gay things I've seen in my long life.

The closest thing I can think of is those old Sino/Soviet posters all about men striving together which just looks like they're a slightly adorable gay couple, sometimes bringing up their kids together.

The central image strives for manliness, though I can only hear Jabba the Hutt's theme playing in my head as I look at it.

People criticize our general incompetence in traffic light management, usually when they're stuck at the eighth red light of their commute. There's no reason to listen to these babbling haters. They simply don't have the experience or education required to judge us. Education like "some high school in the 1970s before getting promoted endlessly because the boss likes us."

Now we push around a bunch of Ph.Ds in urban planning. Sometimes I implement the direct opposite of what those eggheads beg us to do. Narrower lanes? Nobody wants that shit, it makes them be all scared and drive slower around pedestrians. Pedestrians shouldn't be in the middle of the road anyway, they should have cars.