Shenanigans. All the way down.

When the battles are won and the rest is earned, it's the quiet moments that yawn out into the darkness with the greatest horrors. The mind rages wars in memory and in dreams, echoes of adrenaline and cortisol that never believe in safety.

John awakes in a sweat, sheets tangled in the frantic pattern of retreat or failed rescue, the struggle of parasite limbs or twisted imagery of lost friends ... the contorted face of his bedmate - bitter hatred across enemy lines, bloodthirsty laughter, lost to rot and ruin...

It all blends together now; ghosts of another time still haunt the present. He can't track it all, but it still hits him hard even years later. Healed wounds still scar.

The dreams may never cease, and as John turns to look across the bed, golden eyes are awake and darkened in that shameful knowledge. They study him, looking for the proper action to take in this tense moment. They note the heaving of his chest, the wild darting of his eyes, the clenched fists.

An animal cornered, not knowing if by predator or friend.

Thel reaches, hand slowly moving from under the sheets to give space for refusal. It rests upon his forearm - warm, heavy, and steady. Wordless understanding, silent question, open space for answer. They've done this countless times - it was just John's turn of it now.

"...High Charity." A solemn squeeze of his forearm replies. Understanding.

"Cortana?" John nods, swallowing hard and staring up at the ceiling. Unable to say the rest. They both know it intensely, having fought through that shithole together, but John's supposed to talk about it anyways. Work through it, or whatever the multitude of Human and Sangheili therapists always tell him.

...he just can't.

This emotional shit is still hard for him. It's so different from combat, which requires out-of-body, selfless consideration. Flashpoint thought, instant motion, instinct and reaction. But this? It takes consideration and time and introspection. Choosing the words and thoughts to share, in the right order, and every one of them could be right but still said wrong.

In times like these, it's just overwhelming. The tightness in his chest makes him want to hit something, and hit it hard.

He turns back to see those patient, metallic eyes glinting in the dark, and the feeling worsens. John feels something between guilt and anger at the expression.

With an unceremonious grunt, John whips the sheets off and sits upright, nearly leaping out of bed with the need to get away from the choking darkness surrounding him.

He rolls his neck, twitching and grimacing through the feeling of it, bare feet making their way across the cold metal floor to the holo tank by the viewport. It glitters a familiar blue, which constricts something in him further. Staring out into the darkness of space, he finds no comfort, but the movement at least feels better than laying idle in bed.

Slower, and more cautiously, he hears the sheets rustle behind him, and the sound of hoofsteps approaching.

A hand snakes under his arm and rests upon his chest, warm and steady. Thel drapes his head over his shoulder, and the contact sends something calming down through John's bones. They both close their eyes and just breathe together.

He's still figuring this shit out. Hell, maybe he always will be. But now he's got space to do it in, and he's allowed to be comfortable. The shared breath grounds him, wrapped in hands he knows are the only ones in the whole of the galaxy that can actually protect him too.

This is safe.

This is home.

-------

This piece was such a great labor of love. I spent like, 15 hrs on it, lmao omg 🫣

I was having a real intense artistic block that spread into everything, so I decided to do a Pinterest reference redraw, and the Halo Rabies infected me so deeply that this concept just fkn whispered sweet nothings into my ear at all times. It was all I did for awhile, and I jonesed for even 5 mins of drawing time whenever I could, hahaha

There are probably so many mistakes, but right now I can't see them because my art talent is better than my art eye and for that I am thankful 🥹

Anyways, enjoy my tomfoolery 💚💜