Dont Go Breakin My Heart

(so mad i can’t see straight) Yeah i just don’t think chat gpt is a good classroom tool

telling your online friends "wait there i'm coming" is funny regardless of the distance that you are from them. if they're within driving distance it has the humor of being a real possibility and if they're overseas it's funny because how are you getting there. especially if it's a limited time event. one of my personal favorites is saying i'm walking in their general direction

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

Ah shit my bowling team has unionized

They're all striking

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

bleeding

Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information

"accessory not supported on this device" yes it is you stupid slut. thats headphones. you've known each other for years