Tired and chaotic

“What did you even do to deserve that?” Hans winces at his own words, a flicker of shame crossing his face.

“Already assuming I deserved it, I see.” Henry rolls his eyes. Typical.

Hans wrinkles his nose and looks away. “I only meant—”

“Forget it, alright?” Henry rummages in his satchel and procures a small bottle of thick honey mead he’d acquired from a local herbalist. He uncorks it and takes a long swig before wordlessly handing it over to Hans.

“Thanks.” Hans accepts the bottle and takes a swig, nearly choking on the pure strength. He takes another look at Henry’s scar and furrows his brow. “I’m not dropping this, I hope you know.”

“Oh, I know, Sir.” Henry’s voice is short and clipped. One of these days, Hans is going to push Henry to his breaking point and Henry is going to let it fucking happen. Maybe then Hans will actually have to deal with some consequences for once.

“Go on, then.” Hans says. “Tell me.”

Words echo through his head—how can I ever refuse you anything?—words he’s said before and will say again. He’s sure they’ll carve something like it on his gravestone.

“Thieving and fighting.” Henry lists off his crimes in a far more palatable manner than the executioner did when he was on that stage, white-hot iron inches from his throat.

Hans stills, brow twitching ever so slightly, struggling to find the right words. It’s unnerving to see him so uncertain. “Surely they're not so barbaric in these parts that they’ll brand you for petty thievery?”

“No, they don't.” Henry huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “They'll brand you for doing all that, assaulting six guards and bedding the wrong person, though.”

Hans’ eyes widen. His lips part slightly, tongue darting out to wet them. Henry shifts uncomfortably on the forest floor. He’s used to people sneering at him and spitting at his feet as he walks past; the quiet, subdued shock is a new one. Hans remains stone-still, like he’s vehemently containing some kind of reaction and succeeding. He’s unreadable. Somehow, this hurts more than the brand ever did.

“Whose daughter did you—?” Hans starts, then nearly bites his own tongue trying to contain himself. “No, I don't think I want to know. Forget I asked.”

“What, surprised I bedded someone important enough for them to brand me?”

“No, I just—” Hans huffs, shoulders tensing and a strange look in his eyes. He bristles under Henry’s analytical gaze. “I’m wondering who I need to execute for branding my page. Christ, you should’ve run, for once.” 

Hans coming to grips with "my actions have consequences" and the fact that those consequences caused extreme pain and humiliation to someone he loves. And that that mark will never fully go away.

Henry being the kind understanding man he is and brushing it off "For you, I'd do it all again. Though let's try not to resort to stealing again."

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

and listen. lambert's half gone with bloodloss and potions and isn't 100% present when he's being ushered inside. and even after he's fully conscious again...listen. he's getting breakfast in bed. he's getting baths. he's getting "sir"d. he's getting his stuff washed and mended for him.

he has no clue who the FUCK this julian person is, but he apparently?? just likes witchers?? weirdo, but he's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

and after that he just...keeps doing it. the lord is never there and has apparently not cleared up *which* witcher he means, and he can smell that no other witchers come here. so sweet. alright. free place to crash that's fully catered.

and he passes this along to eskel, naturally, one day when they meet on the road. lambert's learned that the lord has a smaller home in town and listen he's got dibs on the country estate, but eskel tends to get along with people better anyway, so he can have the townhouse. and eskel doesn't plan to actually do it (he is HEAVILY judging his lil brother, but he won't wreck this for him even if it's a bad idea), but one day he's injured and HAS to have a place to stay to heal. and listen. it's worth a shot.

and then it WORKS.

so lambert and eskel FOR YEARS have these simultaneous pseudo-hussles going on. they still don't know who this viscount is, but he's never home, and they're nice to the servants and help out with stuff like carrying heavy things around, so they're always welcome. and it's nice. having a place to Be.

A Midnight's Dance ✨

Karlach: I have a thing on fire where my heart should be.

Wyll: I made a metaphorical deal with the devil, and by "metaphorical" I mean she's right over there and she's mad at me.

Gale: I need to eat Faberge eggs to survive.

You can name your saves

You can save during fights

You can save during cutscenes