~Ain't it Fun Living In the Real World~

“dont wish ill upon a stranger” is great advice but remember if someone has slighted you they are no longer a stranger but an enemy ❤️ i hope this helps

while the additional clarification is very good and important, im worried it distracts too much from mocking ben shapiro

Queen shit

the most optimal partner is someone who shares a lot of your interests and personal philosophies and lifestyle choices but HARD opposes you on things like favorite candy flavors. knowing i can just dump all my white chocolate on my bf to take care of and he dumps all his dark chocolate on me in turn for the same reason has fully convinced me that soulmates are real

they never should have told y’all about brain chemicals

Imagine you're at a symphony and a harpist screams fuck this and just starts eating their harp

son that’s it you’re grounded. i found a rap album hiding under your bed and it was the clean version. i didn’t raise you to be such a nerd

when I say “be safe” I say that shit from the bottom of my heart