MOVED ! find me @damnbrain

Perhaps it was an aggressive subconscious push back against the architects of his grief that seemed to have turned the volume down on it– that he was not like them, he would not be pushed so far by loss as to consider any avenue that they would have. Even if that loss was Abby. And it had been. But he found himself unable to reach anything beyond standard sorrow and regret that could be put on a shelf somewhere that it didn’t get in the way or make him want to burn anymore of the world down than had already been destroyed. Enough had been taken fom all of them– even Russell, now– and so what could he do but simply try to make sure it stopped here and now?

Even if it meant allowing the title of Marcus Prime to go unchallenged by him for a little while, so that he could act as an intermediary between factions until things settled. People had sacrificed their lives, he could sacrifice the part of him that dissolved everytime he didn’t challenge the reverantly spoken moniker, in exchange for peace.

“All this will take much longer, if we lose you to lack of sleep.” Idle comment rather than indictment or true criticism, he sat beside her on the palace steps with a fleeting smile. “How are you holding up?”

once  again  she  has  work  to  do,   right  after  the  previous  disaster.      usually  she  prefers  it.    having  something  to  do  than  sit  alone  with  her  thoughts.    which  is  why  she’s  ended  up  sitting  down  on  the  steps,    unable  to  sleep  because  of  everything  occupying  her  mind.     her  hair’s  back  up  in  ponytail,   as  if  to  prepare  herself  to  work.    her  new  found  clipboard  rests  right  next  to  her.     discarded,  because  no  matter  how  many  times  she  reads  it  over,    she’s  not  able  to  find  a  way  for  the  compound  to  finish  any  sooner.      regardless  how  much  sleep  she  gets.       “    sorry  to  burst  your  bubble  but  this  has  been  going  on  for  years.    ”        although  there’s  no  real  bite  in  her  words.     arms  pulling  her  knees  closer  to  chest  despite  the  pain  shooting  up  her  hip.

there’s a relief sigh that drifts past kailan’s tiers when she finds that raven isn’t across kailan’s threshold to remind her that she’s a “superhero” who has a responsibility.  no,  raven is here to be a friend.  it feels as though there’s this weigh that lifts from her chest,  knowing she doesn’t have to present when she’s around raven.  with raven,  she accepts all flaws and raw vulnerability that kailan has.  though kailan isn’t the best of showing it,  she appreciates it.  immediately,  kailan reaches for her leather jacket that hangs by the door,  with a side smile splitting across her war torn features.  “let’s get the hell outta here.”

* ． ◜      @piraetes​ asked:   “You really didn’t need to, you know.” ( callisto )

it is no surprise when raven is trying to change the subject. he has known her for a short time but he could read her like a book. she is stubborn, hard-headed, and most importantly; a determined and strong person. one of the strongest people that he has ever met. he admires her for that quality. not many people have strength both mentally and physically.

“ i will worry until you are back up and walking—once you’re healed. ” he isn’t sure if she’ll ever fully heal from her injuries, considering that they had little resources on earth. earth—the stars. her mentioning them causing a smile to creep upon his lips. “ i think we had a window in factory that observed earth but i never was able to relax long enough to truly enjoy the sights of space. ” he admits, immediately his cheeks heat and his hues drift away from hers. “ with—everything with octavia…i don’t regret what i did to keep her safe. she will always be my sister and i will always look after her but i will…admit that i did wish, before o was discovered, for my mother to be around more so that i could…live a little. a life of my own. is that bad? selfish? ” he chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck. “ probably… ”

there’s  a  huff  of  air  escaping  her  lips.     because  as  it  seems,    the  day  she’s  walking  on  her  own  again  doesn’t  seem  to  be  coming  soon.     &  getting  stuck  on  bedrest  is  the  last  thing  she  wanted.     so  she  focuses   on  their  conversation.     “   there  was  a  window  right  above  my  bed-   well  barely  a  mattress,   and  it  was  small  with  bars  on  it  but  i  didn’t  care  because  i  could  see  the  stars.     ”       she  could  lay  there  for  hours  when  she  should  be  sleeping.

@damnbrain· left a message: “i’m here to raid your fridge cause my date went really bad and all i’ve had is lukewarm water and breadsticks.”

kailan doesn’t flinch when she hears her door open,  and raven’s voice closely follow.  since finding one another again,  it seems that kailan has grown to appreciate another consistent presence in her life.  when raven mentions a date while rounding the side of kailan’s couch that she’s laying down against,  kailan immediately makes a face.  following a disgusted breath of sigh,  kailan asks,  “date?”  immediately,  kailan runs a hand down along her face,  discarding her half eaten pizza into the empty pizza box in front of her.  sitting upright,  as though to prepare herself,  kailan says,  “and you didn’t just screw their brains out and leave?  have i taught you nothing?”

“i thought it was fried!”  kailan exclaims happily,  rejoicing with a smile when she sees raven working on kailan’s old legend suit.  the hunk of metal seem to be twice her size,  adding nearly a foot to her height when she puts it on,  so kailan has to tilt her chin up to look to the chest plate where she can see that her powers seeped through the structure of her suit from the previous battle.  “skies,  am i glad to see you,”  kailan whispers,  running her fingers along the ridges and lifts of the suit.  finally she turns her chin to raven’s direction,  and offers a wide simper.  “i guess i’m pretty glad to see you too.”

raven had offered peyton a sense of balance since she arrived on the ground.  through her own pain, heartbreak, betrayals and loss, she gave peyton the space to just be;  and vice versa.  neither asked the other for anything other than a quiet place or a listening ear if and when they felt like they really needed one.   “you’re assuming they’ll give me the time of day.”   the exact reason she has such trepidation in even trying.  the people at the top of the apology list had been her victims.   “raven, i hit jack. before i even took the chip. i could have killed sam, and the stuff i said to maeve… i don’t deserve the forgiveness. if i was any of them, i wouldn’t even give me a chance.”

which was a key difference between peyton and each of her friends.  they were all so full of love for her, and they had been since they were young.  yet she continued to hurt them in such deep, visceral ways;  and not a one of them deserved an ounce of it.   “i don’t just feel bad for what i said, i wish i-”   her voice trails off, the thought too dark to express.   “i know i need to apologize, it’s all i can think about doing. but where do i start? how do i start?”

the  topic  of  forgiveness  is  complicated  with  raven.      she  offers  her  forgiveness  to  people  but  it  first  takes  time  but  she  also  doesn’t  forget.    she’s  had  to  make  her  own  ammends  as  well.    but  she’s  been  on  the  other  side  more.     which  is  why  she’s  able  to  advice  peyton.       “     it  doesn’t  matter  if  you  deserve  it  or  not.     it’s  their  choice  is  they  want  to  forgive  you.     ”        at  the  end  of  the  day  forgiveness is  something  the  other  person  chooses  to  give.